5
She wasn't sure how long this could go on. Chiles was never this kind of girl. Sure, she flirted sometimes, although half the time she's just being friendly. But she was never the kind of girl who, well... who could just sleep with someone without having it mean something. And with Beau, it definitely meant something.
It had been two weeks since she started her new job, which she loved, and in those two weeks, she had managed to end up in his bed half the time. They would be watching TV after a long day and maybe he'd reach for the chips at the same time she did or she'd turn her head to him during a sad movie or their heads might knock together when they're laughing. Either way, their bodies knew each other. His fingers entwined themselves around hers. The tears, the smiles would die down when they catch each other's eye and their lips would relax and breathe into each other. She would be light as a feather when he lifted her from the couch or the dining room table and his foot would kick the bedroom door shut behind him.
Once all was said and done, there was no easy way to leave. There was a moment of calm, when they'd lay against each other, limb tangled in limb. Then her hair would slide across his skin as she sat up, a sheet held against her chest, wrapped around her waist, and shuffled back to her room.
Yes, their bodies knew each other, as did their hearts when their beats synchronized in their union. But their minds always scratched at the gentle glass of bliss that haze over, and memories and insecurities came flooding through the cracks.
When they walk beside each other from the truck to the bar, their arms swung in tandem and Chiles would just stare while she bit her lip. Regardless of whether they had been together the night before or had gotten lost in each other just before they left the house, she always hesitated in taking his hand. She didn't know what she would do if Beau pulled away.
Even now, as she stared ahead at his oak dresser, her bare back to him as she hugged her knees, she wouldn't be able to stand having him leave the bed before she had a chance to do so first. But how would she ever know what he would do if she always left?
She felt the rough pads of his fingers reach forward and ghost over her back as he stayed reclined against his pillow. "What're you thinkin' 'bout?" he drawled, sleepy-eyed and content. Without a response that she could give, she turned her head to the side to acknowledge that she had at least heard him. The mattress shifted and his stubble scratched her skin when he placed a kiss on her shoulder. "You okay?"
"I don't know," she whispered. She kept her eyes away from his in an attempt to remain focus, but somehow, he always dragged her back to him. "What are we doin', Beau? Really? If we can't be together, then why are we... together?"
He sighed and his breath hit her ear. "Because as much as I want to, as much as I know I should, I can't resist you." He kissed the side of her neck and wrapped an arm around her waist. "I'm no good for you, right now, Chiles, and if you walk out that door, I won't hold it against you. Maybe we'll end up together, maybe we won't, but right now, while you're here and not with anyone else, I can't keep my hands off you. It's not fair, I know, but-"
She kissed him, and he fell back on his back, taking her with him. She decided that she wouldn't push him anymore. Another word, and he may have broken her heart.