Ain't that a kick in the head? 1.4

Journal

"Day 7"

"I'm like, 90% sure that I found the teleport trapped chest. It wasn't exactly hard to get to it, the Nobles were ridiculously easy to beat. Also those dogs are fucking annoying. Not gonna touch the chest yet though, sure it'd be fun to go all "MUDA MUDA MUDA" on some bitches but I'ma wait a bit for that. I see a pyre in the distance. Imma go check it out."

There's a bit of dirt and muck on the page.

Bones POV… Flashback… or flashforward?

I began galloping towards the pyre, grinning to myself as such easy targets. Then, everything went deathly silent. I slowed Torrent to a slow trot as the hairs on my neck stood up followed by a feeling of fear. The Nobles seemed to feel it too as they raised their hands up into the sky, as if in a prayer. Then, I heard it. I looked up to see a massive form, it released a great bellow as it slammed into the pyre and the Nobles surrounding it. It was a massive dragon, it looked as if it could swallow a Buick whole.

So I made the only smart decision.

Journal

"Yeah, I'm not going near that fucking dragon, the moment I saw that thing swooping down I pulled a Joseph Jostar and used Torrent and nigerundayo! I'm gonna steer clear and get up high and away from that thing. And I did it all with a straight face!"

There's a poor doodle of an angry dragon head.

Bones POV…

Clipclopclipclopclipclop!

Skrk-shing!

Thud!

"Gotcha bitch!" I yelled out in triumph as I impaled a recently toppled over knight with my blade. I held it there for a minute before he let out his final breath. It was almost automatic at this point as I grabbed a premade cross from my rucksack and stabbed it into the soft soil. I crossed the knight's arms and said a silent prayer to the Lord, despite the high possibility of it not being heard. It's one of the things I'm doing to keep a semblance of good mental health after all.

"Hello?!" I spun towards the sound of the voice. "You there! The one by the corpse!" I wave a hand in the air, "Yes you! Can you help me? I'm stuck!"

"Keep hollering! It makes it easier to find you!" I shout back while jogging towards a small cluster of trees, with one in the front being suspiciously bluer than the rest.

"I'm right here!" Yup, he's a tree, I give the tree a quick thwop- "ow!" And the illusion fades in a pouring mist.

"You, my friend," I looked down at the demihuman, my eyebrows shot up to my hairline as I recognized said demihuman to be Boc, "were a gods damn tree." I say to the dazed Boc.

"Oh- damn it! I completely forgot some bald sod made me into a bloody tree!" He exclaimed, then signed before looking up at me, "Thank you kind sir, I'm known as Boc" he reached into a pouch and pulled out around ten mushrooms. "Unfortunately this is all I can give you in thanks," I grabbed the mushrooms from his rattish hand. He perks up, "But if I can get my sewing things back from the nearby cave, I can be of much more help in thanks!"

"Do you mean," I reach into my rucksack and hold out the sewing kit, "this?" I watched in mild amusement as Boc's eyes widened in surprise at the item.

He gently took it from my hands as he spoke, "This was me mum's sewing kit that she gave me as a lad." He looks at me, even more thankful than earlier, "I thank you for this kindness, master." He bowed as I sputtered in shock.

"You don't need to call me that," I said as I recovered from that little surprise, "Call me Bones." I said, holding out my hand.

"Thank you." He said once more before shaking himself back to reality, "I need to get going now, being out in the middle of Limgrave isn't the smartest decision for a demihuman like myself. I hope to see you again soon though." He says as he begins walking off.

"I'll see you soon as well!" I shouted as I hopped back onto the back of Torrent and galloped off towards the Site of Grace in the distance. I set up camp, it was nothing too special, some sticks and a bear pelt that I bought off of Kalé, I made a second one in case Melina wanted to sleep as well. I initially thought of making one big tent for us both, but I haven't even reached first base. By the time the sun went down I had made a small fire a few feet away from the Site of Grace and cooked up some pork chops, courtesy of a boar I killed a little while ago.

Me and Melina ate together using some flat rocks as plates. It almost would have felt like a camping date, had it not been technically associated with our accord. It wasn't long until I noticed a thoughtful expression on her face. "What are you thinking about?"

She pauses, as if she were about to say something, but shakes her head, "Nothing."

I raised my eyebrow, "You're looking at the fire as if it holds secrets you want to know." She looks away with a blush, and for a solid minute she says nothing. Completely oblivious to how the fire illuminated her hair in a fiery halo. I couldn't help but stare at her in my one sided crush as she sits there and contemplates how to ask her question.

We sat there for a moment. I silently stared while waiting for her response. And had one simple thought,"Am I really that down bad?"I quickly, and discreetly, looked into the fire, mentally hitting myself in the head."You've known her for at least a week and yet your head is still in the gutter!"

"Why?" I quickly looked at her, the fire illuminated half her face as she looked at me with an expression full of confusion.

"Why what?" I asked her back."Yes! Conversation! That'll help keep my head on straight."

"Why are you… kind?" She says after a moment's hesitation, "Unlike most Tarnished I've seen in the past, you are kind. You helped a demihuman in more ways than one, and you give your homelands version of a burial to most of those you kill. So why?"

"Why indeed?" I immediately responded. I had a feeling this question would come up at some point, just not so soon. I stood up and gestured to, well everything "Tell me, what do you see, and what have you seen? Because I can answer it for you, but I want to hear your answer."

Melina POV…I

I remained silent for a second or two as Ossa asked me his question, before quickly answering the most obvious, and correct, answer,"Indiscriminate death, hate, and grief," I calmly stated to him, "your point?

"There's too much of it. I have been here for less than a week, and yet I can see it literally everywhere I look." He gestured his arms towards Castle Stormveil, "It doesn't take a genius tolookand see those soldiers are in pain and suffering. They're forced to work a job for a demigod who doesn't deserve their position nor does said demigod care." He pointed to the distant and faint red of Caelid, "From what little I read of that place from books and what little I heard from the soldiers, there's suffering there too." He threw his hands up in the air, "and don't even get me fucking started on The Shattering," I felt mild surprise at that asnwer, "I will not lie about my thoughts on it, what little I read about it from the Roundtable Hold, I found the whole thing, well, pointless."

"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely curious, and mildly irritated, "It was fought over-"

"The pieces of the Elden Ring, I know." He interrupts with a huff, "None of them thought, 'hey, why don't we work together to fix the damn thing so we don't need to murder the fuck out of eachother, the title of Elden Lord can easily be given to anyone and be taken away at any time, just look at poor old Godfrey.'" he chuckled, "Did they even wonder why it was shattered in the first place? Sure, Godwyn was murdered along with Ranni, but why shatter the Elden Ring, the source of a majority of your strength?"

"You believe she had another reason." I, bluntly, say to him.

"Correct! And I need to figure outwhyshe did it."

"But would that interfere with your goal to go home?" I asked him, knowing full and well about his end goal., "You admitted yourself that you want to help people, yet you wish to return home after figuring out how. Isn't that… hypocritical?" I slightly winced at that last part.

He nodded, "It is indeed, hypocritical." He said, fully accepting the truth , "If I can't send myself from here to home, I shall send here to home."

It was almost as if time stopped as he said that to me,"what?"I said, shock and, a small amount, of horror filled my voice. I watched in growing horror as he shrugged, "How?! Wouldn't the Lands Between ruin your home?!"

"Not if I teleport it to the middle of the Pacific Ocean." He replied easily, a tinge of madness entering his eyes.

After that reveal, I couldn't help but think one thing, and one thing only,"Torrent, how could you choose a tarnished this insane?!"

AN: HOLY FUCK this chapter didn't wanna be written. Well, soon we'll get to Patches, then Blaidd, then Caelid, then Castle Morne.