oo
Epilogue
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Nyota watched Spock solemnly from their open living space in their quarters as she pined her engineering badge onto the red short-sleeved shirt of her uniform. Spock was kneeling in front of his meditation shrine in their bedroom in deep meditation wearing his dark robes over his own uniform. He had not moved from there since they woke up nearly two hours ago; his own blue shirt of uniform still rested on the bed where she had put it along with the rest of his uniform.
After arriving on the Enterprise, they were immediately taken to sickbay to tend to their injuries – except for Kirk, who rushed to bridge to take command and get them out of the star system. McCoy had met them on arrival; he bandaged Uhura's ankle and checked out Spock for any injuries besides the muscle soreness they had all suffered from. The conversation was short and too the point between the three. Even if he wanted to ask them how they faired mentally, neither would divulge.
Spock and Uhura left in a change of clothes to their quarters leaving the ship's doctor to feel a slight frustration, muttering something along the lines of Vulcan stubbornness and incomprehensible mind drama.
They had went to bed that night, only comforting each other with hugs and caresses – trying to find that security that was lost upon Alpha One. He didn't want to touch her in a sexual way and she knew that she wouldn't have been able to reciprocate. They simply laid there in each others arms trying to find a peace of mind and to ride off the effects of their emotional trauma.
Spock had spent the majority of their medical leave meditating. He was trying to regain his emotional control and rid himself of the guilt he had carried with Nyota. Even if she did come to him occasionally, after feeling his frustration and guilt through their bond, stroke the top of his head and whisper that it wasn't his fault – he would still explain to her how his failure to control his emotions hurt her; that all of it could have been prevented if only he wasn't so weak.
" Spock," Uhura said softly as she approached him. He didn't respond, nor did he move in acknowledgement. She continued forward, stopping behind him and placed a hand gently on top of his head. " Spock…"
She stroked his hair and he shifted under her touch. Spock, with his eyes still closed, reached up and took her hand into his own. He moved it to rest on his shoulder, " We have fifteen point eight minutes until we are to report for duty." Spock said steadily, yet hoarse. He was coming out of his trance.
" Are you able? Has your meditations been working?"
Spock slowly opened his eyes, " They've been mildly successful. I am able to perform my duties to satisfactory levels."
" … You can let me in, you know. You don't have to suffer on your own." Uhura gently caressed his knuckles with her thumb. Spock pulled his hand away and stood up. His black robes always made him seem so untouchable – taller, detached… more alien. Uhura held up her hand to touch him but hesitated and simply kept it up as she looked at his stiffened back.
" We have gone over this, Nyota. My inability to control my emotions has caused you harm. My judgment was impaired and I could not think logically enough to rectify the situation and come up with a solution to save us."
" The situation was beyond our control." She said as it were a fact. " You could not prevent the inevitable. None of us could."
" I am a Vulcan, Nyota. I should be able to function logically in any situation."
" You are also human, Spock." She rested her hand against his upper arm and pulled slightly. " Look at me."
Spock turned around to face Nyota. He looked down at her and she up at him. Nyota reached for sash the held his robe closed and began to undo them.
" You are my husband and I am your wife. We are linked, two halves of one entity. Whatever you feel, I feel and whatever I feel you feel. This is inevitable, Spock. You can not continue to carry this burden with you, this silly fear, that whatever you do will hurt me." She pushed the heavy black robe over his shoulders revealing the tight black under shirt of his uniform. He shrugged out of it and allowed Uhura to take it into her hands and fold it. " I was, and I am, prepared to deal with whatever hardships that will come in our union. You have to let go and accept that reality."
Nyota walked to their bedroom with his robe to get his blue shirt and pin. Spock watched her as she made it across the small quarters that they shared. He took note of the small limp she had, obviously from the injuries she had from attacks on Alpha One. He held back any potential emotionalism that dared to surface. He didn't want to burden her anymore than what has already transpired.
She came back into the small room with his shirt and pin in hand. He took the shirt from her and slipped it on and then the silver pin. He put it on and she smoothed his shirt down. Nyota brought her fingers back up and ran her index and middle finger across the cool surface of the metal science division badge.
" We are Starfleet officers. This is the dangerous of our job." She said softly.
Spock reached for her right hand that rested on his chest and took it into his own. He brushed his index and middle finger against her fingers and closed his eyes from the contact. She took a step closer and wrapped her left hand around his neck and weaved her hand against the hair on his nape. Nyota reached up and captured his lips in a chaste kiss.
" I have found it difficult to differentiate the two, Nyota." Spock whispered as their lips parted.
" That is just apart of loving someone, Spock." She separated herself from him and took a few steps back. " It's just… illogical."
He raised an eyebrow, " Indeed."
oo
The doors of the turbolift slid open to reveal the busy bridge of the Enterprise. Conversation was being held across the bridge, both casual and work related. The moderately loud sounds of the ship's systems resonated through the bridge in the familiar song that everyone was now accustomed to. Spock and Uhura stepped onto the bridge and looked around; nothing had changed.
" Ah, our two favorite heroes are back." McCoy greeted from where he stood next to the captain's chair. " Are you two fairing well today?"
" Of course, Doctor. It would be useless to try and attempt my duties if I was not performing at my top most efficiency." Spock said casually, a tinge of brisk condescension in his voice that he only used on the doctor. Was it a human emotion that he carried with him to get under the doctor's skin? Nyota could only roll her eyes as she watched her husband approach the Captain's chair.
" At least your ego wasn't damaged." McCoy grumbled as Kirk stood up. Spock raised an eyebrow.
" Ego is a superficial human emotion, Doctor. I have no ego to bruise."
" And I'm the King of France."
" Mr. Spock," Kirk said happily. He slapped Spock shoulder, much to the displeasure of the Vulcan. " Glad to see you on the bridge today. And, Ms. Uhura," Kirk looked over Spock's shoulder with a grin. " Great to see you as well and nice to see you in pants today. Looks very nice on you." Kirk did not notice the glare Spock shot in Kirk's direction, but McCoy did. He chuckled to himself.
" Thank you, Captain." Uhura didn't even bat an eyelash at the obvious come on. " I'll be reporting to my station."
Kirk stepped aside Spock, " Actually I need to see you and Mr. Spock in the briefing room. I have some things to discuss." He walked over to the turbolift doors. " Doctor, I would like for you to join us as well. Mr. Sulu, you have the conn."
" Aye, sir." Sulu said, his eyes never leaving his console. Spock and McCoy exchanged glances and joined Kirk and Uhura at the turbolift doors. The group entered the turbo lift.
" Deck 6." Kirk said and the lift began to take them to their destination.
oo
They walked into the cold briefing room. The doors shut behind them and the lights instantly turned on with the presence. They all took seats around the table with Kirk sitting at the head of the table. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.
" I don't know how to say this and I want to have your input on this before I finalize my decision." Kirk began. He opened his eyes and looked at Spock and Uhura. They both were sitting across from each other, all the professional, with their full attention on him. " I believe that it would be safer if you two do not serve together future away missions. After the events on Alpha One, I'm afraid that your… situation may cloud your judgment and impede on any critical decision making."
" Are you referring to our bond, Captain?" Spock asked. Kirk nodded. " Your assumptions are faulty."
" How so, Mr. Spock? I witnessed it with my own eyes. You two are connected so deep that you're almost one. You both apparently can share the same pain. Whatever happens to one will happen to the other. Why should I take that risk?"
" Captain," Uhura said. " This away mission was not like our previous missions. Those people had the ability to attack those with their minds. They forced us to do things we would not have done otherwise." She looked at Spock for a moment. " The chances of this happening not again are high."
Spock nodded, " Two thousand seven hundred eight five point three to one."
" And that's accurate, right?" McCoy asked sardonically with a raised eyebrow. Spock looked at McCoy, who sat next to Uhura, with a deadpan expression.
" Why would it not be?"
McCoy opens his mouth, a retort just about to roll off of the tip of his tongue, but he quickly closes it and bites back the urge, " … I refuse to fall into that one."
Kirk clicked his tongue and sat up, " If I wanted to watch the bickering between you two, I would asked for it. Unfortunately, I don't, so quit it."
" Sorry, Jim."
" Apologies, Captain."
The captain sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, " You have to realize why I'm doing this. You two are among my best officers. I don't wish to loose you because of the chances that your bond will compromise the mission."
" Aren't you allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment, Captain?" Uhura asked. " We've been serving under you for three years and have been in far worst situations where life and death was on the line. In those occasions, did we not perform to our highest expectations, even going beyond the call of duty?"
" Yes, Lieutenant, this is true."
" Then you should know that our personal lives will never intertwine themselves into our work."
" I do not want to deal with the burden that I lost two friends due to my failure to recognize the potential severity of your situation." He ran a hand through his golden blonde hair.
" Jim…"
Everyone looked at Spock. He rarely referred to Kirk by his first name and when he did it was a sign that their rocky friendship was slowly coming into a whole. It was something Kirk was grateful for – he wanted to experience the friendship that the elder Vulcan had once shared with him on that remote planet. He needed that respect, that depth, and that trust. He wanted that balance that helped his alternate half become the legend he lived to be.
It didn't feel imposing. It simply felt right - as if the timeline, regardless of elder Vulcan's advice, was mending itself from the intrusion of the Romulan called Nero.
" I understand your concern but it is not needed. Lieutenant Uhura and myself are prepared to deal with the dangerous of our assignment on board this ship. If we feel as if our bond will prove hazardous to the mission, we will inform you of that. " His face and posture relaxed, a sign that his guard was down and he was comfortable with Jim as a friend. " I am grateful for your concern, Jim, but it is not needed. Though, I will not object if you decide in favor of separating us on field missions."
" If I may say something here," McCoy sat up in his chair and clasped his hands together on the table. " You're letting your emotions get to you, Jim. There are many married couples in Starfleet who have to go through the same thing every single day of their lives. You asked me my input on this two days ago, and well, I have to say that this is something that is beyond your control.
" This situation we all experienced was unique. We all, in one way or another, experienced emotional trauma. Yes, they're bonded in that Vulcan way but considering what that crazy lunatic made you all do, I think these two managed to keep their composure in the best they knew how despite the odds. You're overreacting, Jim. We all joined Starfleet and accepted the risks involved. It is up to you as the captain to lead us not to protect us."
There was a silence in the briefing room that had lasted several moments. McCoy looked around the room and frowned. He offers sound advice and everyone gives him looks as if he grew another head. It actually annoyed him to a small extent. McCoy crossed his arms over his chest.
" What?" He said with exasperation. Kirk grinned and slapped McCoy on the back.
" Such powerful and positive words coming from you are a rarity, Bones. I'm truly shocked."
" Shocked my ass. I'm not just a doctor, you know."
" You say that now, Bones, but when we're in a jam next time you'll be reminding us that you're only a doctor and nothing else."
" God, sometimes I really can't stand you people."
Kirk and Uhura laughed despite McCoy's displeasure.
" Alright, since I have three people knocking common sense back into me, let's just forget we ever had this conversation." Kirk stood up. " Agreed?"
" Agreed." McCoy said as he stood up. Kirk looked at Spock.
" Want to have a game of chess later on today?"
The Vulcan looked at Kirk and a faint trace of a smirk crept upon his lips, " Certainly, Jim. I believe I lost that last game by a fluke. This time that will not happen."
All Uhura could do was chuckle at her husband's comment. It was a fluke but she felt every single raging emotion the Vulcan felt the moment the captain captured his queen. Almost like a childish tantrum – too funny not to forget. Spock may say that he has no ego, but she knew that every bit of that was a lie. He prided himself too greatly to loose against the Captain. Losses like that only proved to frustrate him and she was the only one who knew. Spock looked at his wife from across the table and raised an eyebrow. He could sense her obvious amusement.
She only shrugged her shoulders. The silent exchange went over Kirk and McCoy's head.
" That damned Vulcan mind magic. Jim, I don't like it. Don't like it at all."
Kirk laughed as he gently pushed McCoy out the room, " Come, Bones. Just come along."
Uhura got up from the table and slowly made her way to Spock who sat on the opposite side. He looked at her and held out his two fingers in the all too familiar gesture of a Vulcan kiss. She placed her fingers on top of his and felt his warmth, his love, and his sense of security. It will take a while to recover from the events of Alpha One, but as long as they remained strong, they would triumph over all.
The Mercy of Lucius
END
Author's Note: Oh, it's finally doneeeeee. Yayayaya. Thank you all to those who've reviewed, added to your favorites, and story alerts! It was your responses that kept me writing this.
Now for more banter from me about this chapter. I like to note how it is McCoy who comes around as the positive and secure one at the end of the story than Kirk and Spock who were the ones who initially mocked him for his paranoia. It was also fun trying to incorporate this new "foursome " into the traditional "trinity". I'm sure the movie writers for XII will probably write this foursome better than I did.
The idea of Nyota being the logical one in the relationship is always a fun character device to play with. I like to see it as Spock over-thinks his relationship and it is Nyota who brings him back to reality with reasoning and logic that justifies the means. He becomes too involved in order to protect her but it is she who ends up protecting him. They balance each other so much it makes me squee lol.
This epilogue was weak but I still think I wrote a pretty good action/adventure. Reviews and thoughts encouraged! Thank you so much! 19000+ words later and it is done! Thank you!