Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Degrassi
A/N: There are alternating POV's between Clare and Eli. Please enjoy.
I opened my eyes not feeling good I looked at Eli sleeping soundly next to me with his head on my chest and smiled before kissing the top of his head. I watched a nurse enter the room.
"How are you feeling?" She asked
"Really horrible. Can I have a pen and paper?" I asked
"Sure." She walked over and handed me a pen and paper.
To whom this concerns,
I'm not feeling really well right now, so if I'm sick and in the bathroom or something please allow my fiance to stay in my room, or if I'm asleep and wake up without him because someone asked or forced him to leave I will kill myself I need him just as much as he needs me. If you don't believe me look at my wrists I've cut deeply before and I can do it again.
Clare Edwards
The nurse came in and took my note and I went back to sleep. I went back to sleep expecting to wake up next to Eli, but I was wrong when I looked around Eli was gone, everything was gone, I'm alone in a room nothing is wrong with me I'm again completely healed. The first question that came to my mind was Am I dead? then I knew that I am in fact not dead, but in a dream. I got out of the bed I was in and started to walk around, everything what white, the walls, the floor, the gown I am wearing, the door, the bed, the sheets, I mean everything. I left the room I was in and made my way down the long dark hallway, the lights started to flash and I suddenly became scared. I seen a bright light in a room that wasn't flashing or anything it was welcoming so I entered. I seen my mom sitting at a table and smiled.
"Mom I've missed you." I said as I ran over to hug her she hugged back and I felt her form start to change and a chill coursed through my body.
"Well well now Clare." my dad said his voice was mischievous and harsh.
"D-d-daddy?" I asked not wanting to open my eyes or really believe it was my dad.
"Open your eyes damnit." He ordered, I obeyed and opened them, there was my dad standing in front of me perfectly ok. "You're happy and perfectly ok while I am here miserable because your mother left." He seethed
"I'm sorry." I muttered.
"No you aren't" he spat and slapped me across my face. I ran as fast as I could through the long hallway trying to find somewhere I could go, but every time I came to a door they all slammed shut and the dark hallway grew longer. I didn't know what to do or where I could turn. I started to panic and scream.
"Screaming won't help you here, there's no one here…Well with the acception of me and you." my dad chuckled.
I curled myself up against the wall in the fetal position and cried into my knees awaiting to see what happens next I couldn't take it anymore a razor appeared next to me and I started to cut arms up as much as I could as I watched them bleed profusely. "You're not getting off that easily." My dad seethed. I could feel him getting closer, I felt his presence over me and embraced myself for whatever was to come.
"Shh you're safe now." A sweet voice cooed as a hand rubbed the back of my head. I opened my eyes and looked up I was surrounded by blue Forget Me Nots and some Cherry Blossoms. I looked over and the angel was there that I've met before I woke up in the hospital.
"What's going on?" I asked as I noticed I was still bleeding. "How is this…." I asked
"You cut yourself, whatever happens to your spirit in the spirit world happens to your body as well." She said
"But my dad- that was nothing like…"
"There are two different versions of the spirit world one for pure souls who did nothing to harm anyone or anything as well as one for bad souls that murdered or caused harm, you ended up in the wrong one." She said
"So my body now has these marks and I could bleed out?" I stuttered regretting everything that I did, she nodded "What's going on?" I asked
"I don't know." She said "I was to look over you and you seemed to be doing fine, but I sensed your spirit in distress and bout you here."
"So am I going to die?" I asked
"Only time will tell, there's still no time here."
I nodded as I laid in the grass trying not to cry.
"What's wrong?" She asked
"I don't want to die." I said "I don't want to lose Eli or anyone."
"I know." She said comforting me. "You're probably tired aren't you?"
I nodded and all of a sudden the warm bright sky turned to dark and a bed appeared "If I go to sleep will I…" I trailed off unable to finish my sentence
"No you won't, nothing can hurt you here. No person can touch you, no object can injure you, no animal or anything else in that matter can cause you any harm, but you will not dream." She said
"Please don't leave me." I said
"I'll be here depending on where you wake up." I looked at her wide eyed "You could wake up here or on the earth plane." I let out a breath and relaxed as I held onto my pillow thinking about Eli.
ooooooo
ooooooo
ooooooo
ooooooo
ooooooo
ooooooo
I woke up to Clare's erratic heartbeat and the monitors going off. I immediately jumped off the bed and started to panic. She was fine just a few hours ago. A nurse came in and tried to steady Clare's heart by putting something in her IV.
"We need a doctor over here!" She yelled as I backed myself into a corner.
I watched a stream of doctors and medics run in. "She's bleeding." A nurse said "Doctor look there are lacerations appearing on her arm."
I moved a little closer as they moved her arm you could see cuts arising and she started to bleed profusely.
"Mr. Goldsworthy we're sorry we need to find out what's going on with your fiance please come with me we'll lead you into an empty room where you could sleep."
"I don't want to sleep I want to be with Clare." I started to sob.
"We're doing everything we can you'll be the first to know if something changes."
I nodded and sat on the bed as I cried. I took out my phone and called my mom.
"Is she ok?" My mom asked, but I couldn't form the words.
"She she woke up a few hour ago we were laughing and joking." I sobbed
"Honey I'm confused isn't that a good thing?"
"We went to sleep and her heart started to beat at an erratic pace then after the doctors got to her…cuts were forming on her arms and she started bleeding profusely." I sobbed
"Sweetie she'll be fine she has to be." my mom said I could hear her voice breaking. "How did the cuts appear?"
"I don't know no one was near her with any sharp objects and a nurse held up her arm as a cut came through and bled almost like Clare did it herself." I said
"Sweetie do you need me to come down there?" She asked
"I might call Adam if it's ok." I said
"Ok. If you need me I'm here. I love you baby boy." She said
"I love you too mom." I said and hung up.
I walked into the hallway and moved out front of Clare's door the nurses were wrapping both of her wrists up with bandages which slowly turned red from her blood. Her heart beat started to calm down, but they were still working on her.
"She's going to be ok." A nurse told me "We just need to get the bleeding to stop."
I nodded wondering how she's going to be ok if she bleeds out. I moved as another nurse ran out of the room only to run back in minutes later to hook up a bag of what looks like blood to her IV. Her heart started to beat again erratically as the monitors again went off.
I texted Adam remembering Lily is over there with Alli.
She's worse. Don't tell Lily. -Eli.
I didn't get a text back, but instead my phone started to ring.
"Dude seriously?" Adam asked
"Yea" I said sadly.
"What happened?"
"I don't know, she woke up and we talked and started to joke around we went to sleep a few hours ago and her heart started to beat erratically, then her wrists and arms started to bleed profusely as if she did it herself." I said as I watched the nurses from the hall.
"She's gotta be ok." Adam whispered
"I know man." I said as tears started to form in my eyes.
"Mr. Goldsworthy has she eaten when she woke up?" A nurse asked
I shook my head "Should I have?" I asked
"No, but we're hooking her up to a feeding tube." She said "Do you know if she's allergic to any foods?"
"She's not allergic to any." I said knowing I've checked her hospital records last time we were here. "She's allergic to silver." I stated knowing her ring was white gold the nurse took off her ring and put it in her pocket.
I watched as others nodded and did a routine check of her body they lifted her shirt up just below her bra and felt her stomach, then her back, as well as her legs.
Clare was immediately rushed out of the room and taken to the ER. One of the nurses stayed behind.
"Are you sure she's allergic to silver?" She asked
"Yes where are you taking her?" I asked back
"We're doing tests. She her heart's calm again and the bleeding is starting to stop, but her breathing is still uneasy, she's gasping for air."
I nodded as the nurse left. I immediately called her mom.
"Hello?" She answered
"Good Mrs. Edwards what's Clare allergic to?" I asked incase they forgot something
"Silver and some type of medicine."
"What type it's important." I said
"I don't really remember. What's this about."
"A nurse gave her medicine about an hour or so ago and now her heart's acting up, she's gasping for air, and no one knows what's going on."
"Ibuprofen I make them give her morphine since it's a narcotic."
"Thanks" I said as I hung up the phone and ran down the hallway where I ran into a nurse.
"Excuse me my fiancée's in the ER her name is Clare Edwards she's allergic to Ibuprofen." I said
"Ok I'll run right there to tell them." She said as she patted my arm.
I watched as she ran into the ER, then minutes later she came back out.
"Did they check her bracelet when they gave her medicine?" She asked
"No why?" I asked back
The nurse held up Clare's bracelet that they must have cut off of her "It says here that she's allergic to Ibuprofen and Silver as well as latex."
Luckily she's waiting until marriage because we'd have problems. I thought.
"They're cleaning her blood now." She said happily
"So is she going to be ok?" I asked
"We don't know yet."
"If something happens to her I'm suing the hospital." I stated
The nurse looked at me in fear. "Y-Yes sir." She stuttered before running back into the ER. I smirked a little to myself before my phone starting to ring again.
"He-"
"Any news?" Alli asked cutting me off
"I don't know anything yet. She's in the ER and they're cleaning her blood." I said
"What! What do you mean they're cleaning her blood?" Alli exclaimed
"They gave her Ibuprofen and she's allergic to it." I said sadly
"If something happens to her I'll." She said angrily as stopping herself before she got farther.
"Sue them?" I asked
"I'll do just more than sue them." She said
"I already threatened to sue them."
Alli laughed a little and a nurse came out.
"Mr. Goldsworthy?" She asked, I nodded
"Hold on Alli." I said
"Ms. Edwards is going to be ok, but we aren't sure when she'll be waking up, she's being put on suicide watch as well."
"What why?" I asked the nurse showed me a note Clare wrote saying how she'd kill herself if they ever separated us. I chuckled, knowing she sounded just like me when I threatened to kill myself when they tried to separate us.
I watched as they wheeled Clare back out of the ER with heart monitors attached to her, her breathing and heart beat were both stable.
"She's fine Alli I'm looking at her now." I said relieved.
"Is she awake?" Alli asked
"Sadly no, but her heart is stable as well as her breathing. She'll be fine."
I hung up my phone and changed the tone to silent. I followed the nurse who was pushing Clare's bed back into her room. A nurse stopped me before I could enter.
"Her blood isn't thoroughly cleaned yet we have an IV in her arm to help as well as a bag of blood to replace the blood she lost." She said I nodded at her as I walked into her room.
I looked at Clare just sleeping there her cheeks were flushed of color and I immediately rushed to her side in tears ignoring all sounds of the machines. I felt her hands which were warm, but I still panicked until I laid on the bed with her and my ear against her chest listening to her calmed heart beat.
After getting up I looked at her arms which were covered in bandages from her wrists up. I wanted to remove them and kiss each and every wound, but too afraid that she would bleed again and they'd take her away…again. I noticed she had a blue hospital bracelet as well as a red one like mine.
"Clare, what am I going to do with you?" I whispered to her as I kissed her lips in hope that she'd wake up, when she didn't I ran my fingers through her hair knowing she wasn't going to answer and that my question was rhetorical.
I laid down with my head on her chest in hopes that one I'll get some sleep and two she'll wake up, but neither happened, instead I paced walked around the room glancing at her occasionally. I got bored after a while and turned on the TV there wasn't anything good on so I left Clare for a moment see where I could buy a magazine.
"Excuse me sir?" A security guard said stopping me.
I turned around to see what he wanted before I made my way out the door.
"Where are you going?" he asked
"Um to buy a magazine?"
"Not today you're under suicide watch." he said I looked down at my wrist and seen the red bracelet.
"I'm not suicidal." I said honestly
"That's what they all say now back to wherever you belong." He said escorting me back out into the elevator.
"But I'm in normal clothes." I stated, he took my wrist and examined my bracelet.
"You haven't been here long enough to be discharged." he said knowingly "I'm escorting you to your room."
"Can't you just tell me where I could buy something?" I groaned as we entered the elevator.
"The gift shop opens in two hours." He replied causing me to groan again.
He literally walked me all the way to Clare's room.
"Hey Clare, I failed at getting a magazine." I sighed as I walked in.
"She's sleeping aren't you afraid of waking her?" The security guard asked.
"She's in a coma." I muttered "She woke up a while ago we went back to sleep at 1 and at two am her heart monitor went off her heart beat rose do to the fact that the stupid ass nurse put Ibuprofen in her IV when she's allergic to it." I said.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." I sighed as I walked over to her. I kissed her head and laid next to her.
"Would you like me to get two beds?" He asked
"She'd be pissed if I were sleeping in a different bed when she wakes up." I chuckled, he nodded
"You and your sister seem close."
"She's my fiancée." I lied again.
"Aren't you too young to be engaged?"
"No we're able to get married in a few years I'm sixteen and her birthday is coming up." I said
"Oh, well I'll let you do whatever, you just can't leave the hospital."
I nodded and laid down. I decided to watch some random cartoon and kept Clare's hand in mine with our fingers entwined incase she woke up. Hours went by and there was no change I even went and got a few things from the gift shop and a nurse was in her room when I walked in.
"She needs more blood." She said softly. I nodded softly and made my way in the room.
"I'm here to insert a feeding tube." The nurse said.
"Ok."
"We're putting pudding in it do you know if she'll prefer vanilla over chocolate?" She asked
"Is that a rhetorical question?" I chuckled trying not to laugh.
"Um no it's not why?"
"Well if you were getting a feeding tube inserted into your body and a nurse asked you what flavor you'd prefer what would you say?"
"I get it." She said and opened a baggie with chocolate pudding in it. I looked away as she inserted the feeding tube into Clare's stomach.
"Ok all done. I gave her chocolate because it's my favorite." She said like I'd care, right now my main concern is that my girlfriend wakes up and she's not starving when she does.
"Are you taking this one out later like you did with the last one?" I asked
"No the last one was taken out because it was in there for two weeks, so in two weeks we'll take this one and wait an hour like we did before we insert another one."
I nodded. "Do you know if it helped with the allergic reaction she had when her arms started bleeding profusely?" I asked
"I think it did." The nurse said as she left.
I laid back in bed with Clare as I watched some more TV.
"OMIGOD" Lily's voice rang through the walls. "How is she what have they done to her?"
"She's fine they gave her Ibuprofen in her IV, they cleaned her blood out." I said and looked over to see Adam and Lily, Lily looked like she was going to hyperventilate at the sight of Clare, before I could do anything Adam had her breathing out of a paper bag. I looked down at Clare sleeping next to me and I remembered watching Sleeping Beauty when CeCe made me and couldn't help, but think Clare looked like the sleeping princess. I leaned over and kissed her lips again in hope that she'd wake up, but nothing so I did it again.
"Dude kissing her isn't going to wake her up." Adam said as he tried to calm Lily down.
"She woke up at about eleven and we talked all night until about three." I said glancing at Clare.
Lily reached over the bed and hugged Clare tightly. "Hey be careful she's fragile." I said causing Lily to jump and look at me.
"I wasn't hugging her too hard." She stated
"She's got a feeding tube in again." I said
Lily looked at the feeding tube as well as Adam. "They gave her chocolate pudding!" they both exclaimed in unison.
I chuckled "Yea. It was sort of funny with the nurse." I trailed off remembering "She asked me if Clare would prefer chocolate over vanilla."
"Dude she can't fucking taste it so what's the difference?" Adam exclaimed
"I don't know I asked the nurse to imagine getting a feeding tube and someone asking if she'd want chocolate pudding or vanilla and she nodded and gave Clare chocolate, but had a sympathetic look in her eye."
They both nodded. "I'm staying over your house CeCe said she misses having kids there." Lily said
"What's she going to do when we all move out?" I chuckled "And Lily it's home you and Clare both live with us now." I said, Lily ran over and threw herself on me in a hug which made me loose balance a little. I didn't know what to do so I wrapped my arm around her and let her sob into my shoulder while I rubbed my back with her free hand.
"Ok kids time for school." Mrs. Torres stated, I let got of Lily and said my goodbyes.
CeCe came in the minute they left. "Hey mom." I said
"Hi baby boy." She whispered looking at Clare.
"Please don't say anything about how she looks." I said before she could say anything.
"I won't, I bout you another bag of clothes and some food I know you haven't eaten yet."
I nodded as she handed me my items. I sat back on the bed with Clare and started to eat. "Would it be mean if I moved the food closer to her face in hopes the aroma would wake her up knowing damned well I'd give her the food just to see her eyes open again?" I asked
CeCe chuckled a little "As much as I want to say yes I don't think she will."
I nodded "She always says how wonderful your food smells, but I just wish she could taste a little or something." I said knowing damned well she can't.
"I know sweetie." CeCe said rubbing my head.
"I just feel bad eating in front of her even if the chances of her waking up today are slim."
"She'll wake up just give her time."
I finished eating while CeCe read some magazines at the table in our room. I felt sleep coming over me as I yawned.
"Go to sleep sweetie it looks like you need it."
I nodded and got comfortable as I placed my head on Clare's chest. "Don't leave mom."
"I won't."
I let sleep come over me and quickly dozed off.
Please Review