"Cal," her voice was gentle.
"Hmmm, he murmured back.
There was a pause of complete silence.
"Cal," she said a little firmer.
"What?" He looked up from the screen.
"I was talking to you."
"What about?"
"Anderson," Gillian said again patiently, as if she had said it before. She probably had a couple of times now.
"What's goin' on with you?"
Gillian faltered for a second. "I'm trying to talk to you about the Anderson case we're meant to be working on."
"Did you have a good lunch?"
"Cal," she half warned
"Catch up with Alec did you?" He went on, ignoring her weak protest.
"Stop it," she complained.
"Well somethin' happened at lunch. Did it involve a motel?"
"Seriously!" Gillian huffed. But Cal could see the smile breaking out of its confines. She couldn't contain it. Nor did she actually want him to stop. He could see that, peering up at her from the computer console.
"Come on," Cal coaxed. "Out with it."
Gillian gave a genuine smile, but she looked away as if she were still trying to hold it in. "I'm not supposed to say anything yet."
"It's practically drippin' off your tongue," Cal pointed out. The thought of it was delicious. He couldn't wait to taste it.
"Ok but act surprised when you're told officially."
"You're havin' a baby aren't you?" Cal guessed.
Gillian nodded, the grin now allowed to spread so fully and beautifully over her features. It was exquisite. Cal got to his feet and pulled her into a hug. One of those full body hugs that were dangerous for him but that he was addicted to. Any excuse was a good excuse. This was a great excuse. Cal felt a warmth spread into his chest but recognised it for something healthy this time. He was happy for her. "That's fantastic news!"
Gillian pulled away. "It's not official yet. Alec didn't want to tell anyone until she's home with us."
'Spoil sport,' died on Cal's tongue. Instead, he gave her a congratulations. "When is it official then?"
"We can go and get her tomorrow."
Cal nodded. "Betta ask the boss for the time off." He knew they were trying to adopt. He was also fine with her taking the time off when she needed it. He told her to do whatever it was that she needed to do, take all the time she needed, to feel free to do whatever it took. He knew how important this was to her. He would never stand in the way of that. He could never bring himself to. He would deal with it. That's what being a good friend was about.
"I did," Gillian retorted with a flash of mischief in her eyes. "She said that was fine."
Cal chuckled.
"Now this Anderson case," Gillian tried to get him to focus again. Especially if she was going to be in absentia for a few months with a new baby.
"Did you say it's a girl?"
"Yes."
"You always wanted a girl."
Gillian gave a slight smile. "Yeah," she agreed softly. Then she got serious again. "Can we work on the Anderson case? I want it wrapped up before I take leave." She took her seat.
"Yes boss," Cal recited and sat next to her. In the background six computer hard drives hummed newly in the silence of their lab.
Gillian opened the folder and moved it within Cal's view. Then she reached over and squeezed his hand slightly. "Thanks Cal."
"I'm happy for you luv."
"I know," she responded simply, her blue eyes light with joy again.
PJ
"Cal. Can you hear me?"
'Yeah,' he thought. 'But I don't want to get up yet.' The bed was entirely too comfortable.
"Cal."
'Yeah, yeah,' he thought. 'One more minute.' He couldn't even hear Lewis or the alarm. Why was it she wanted him to get up?
Sound started to filter in. He could hear background noises. Chatter, the hum of machines, beeping. He sensed rather than felt the fingers tucked within his own. His arm twitched of its own accord; the rest of him felt leaden and claustrophobic. Like when he had his CT scan and had to keep completely still. That's where he must be. Getting a scan. Based on the noise he was pretty sure wasn't at home.
"I'm here Cal."
That sounded a lot like Gillian. But what was she doing here? She didn't come with him for the scan. She stayed at work. It wasn't a big deal; he didn't need her to hold his hand. But she was or someone was. Cal concentrated and cracked his eyes open, but his body still felt heavy. He was surprised to find himself in a hospital bed. Gillian leaned into his line of sight. "Hey," she gave him a slight smile. "You're ok." She stroked his cheek. "You're ok."
PJ
"Mrs Lightman?"
Gillian got to her feet. She had worried her wedding band on her finger so much it was starting to hurt. She had been staring at the surgical status monitor so much her eyes hurt. She had been sitting still for so long her neck and shoulders hurt. But at least she hadn't been crying the whole time; mostly just worried sick.
"Your husband is out of surgery."
Gillian could tell from the nurse's body language that everything was fine. Or that there was at least good news. "Can I see him?" She asked immediately.
"He's being moved to a recovery room right now. The surgeon will come out to speak to you in a moment."
"Thank you," Gillian told the nurse. She gave a nod in response and walked away again. Gillian took to pacing. Every time someone in scrubs went by her heart got jumpy. She realised the nurse didn't exactly tell her that Cal was fine, she had just assumed. She hadn't even asked. She wanted to go and find him but was also worried about getting lost and missing the surgeon. Ugh how she hated to wait!
"Mrs Lightman?"
Gillian turned. She recognised Doctor Copeland immediately. She gave Gillian a smile. "Everything went really well. We removed the tumour successfully with very little damage to the vocal cords."
"Thank you," Gillian breathed relief.
"Now we also removed some of the surrounding lymph nodes to make sure there's no chance of metastasization. But otherwise the surgery was completely routine."
"Thank you so much," Gillian said again and stepped forward to shake the Doctor's hand. "We really appreciate it."
"My assistant will come by later to check on him. He'll need follow up care and a few more tests to make sure we got it all. He's in room three fifteen. It's just down that way," she pointed it out.
Gillian thanked her again, aware that she was repeating herself but also finding she wasn't exactly able to be more eloquent at the moment. She hurried along the corridor to Cal's room. There were still scrubbed personnel settling Cal in, checking heart monitors and IV lines. She got a friendly smile from a tall black haired man. "Come on in. I'm Henry. I'll be looking after Doctor Lightman for the next twenty-four hours."
"Gillian," she introduced herself.
"He's going to be out of it for a while, but pull up a chair. I'll be down at the nurses' station or around. If you need something come and find me or another one of the staff. We're happy to help with anything. Or if you're worried about Cal then you can press this button to notify us," he placed the call button just under Cal's pillow. Gillian thanked him and the room cleared out. She knew the drill because she had been here with Cal before. It wasn't so many years ago she had fretted and paced and waited for Cal to get out of surgery when he had an emergency appendectomy. She had been mad at him then. She couldn't be mad at him for this. Even though she wanted to be. Having someone to blame would be nice.
Gillian took a seat and looked at Cal for the first time since coming into the recovery room. He was slightly pale but otherwise looked the same. There was no gaping wound, just two small inch and a half long incisions on either side of Cal's throat where his lymph nodes had been removed. They were dressed with little clear covers and taped to his skin. He looked like he could be having an afternoon nap. Aside from the heart monitor beeping out a steady rhythm to remind her that he had just had an operation. Gillian slipped her hand into her husband's. His fingers were cold. She gave them a squeeze while thinking she should have asked how long he was going to be out of it for. A while wasn't really a good indication. She would stay until he woke. She just didn't like the waiting.
PJ
When Cal woke the second time he was much more aware of where he was and what had happened. He opened his eyes more fully and squeezed Gillian's hand tightly. Her gaze, which had been studying the bedspread or maybe her fingers, came up suddenly to meet his. "Hey," she gave him a tentative smile.
"Hey," Cal attempted to respond. Fire ripped through his throat, like he had drunk battery acid. And he grimaced in pain.
"Shh," Gillian got to her feet to lean over him. "It's ok, you don't have to talk. Are you in a lot of pain? I can get someone for you."
Cal shook his head and brought her hand up to his lips.
"I talked to the surgeon. She said they removed the tumour and some of the nearby lymph nodes just to make sure. And she said once your throat heals up your voice will be just fine."
Cal wiggled his eyebrows.
Gillian caressed his cheek and smoothed his hair, but she didn't smile this time. "I'm really glad you're ok."
Cal pointed at her.
"Me?"
He nodded.
"I'm fine. I'm good."
Cal finger spelled 'Lewis' and raised his eyebrows in question.
"He's with Kate."
Cal asked 'why' and 'what time is it?'
"It's," Gillian checked her watch. "Four p.m."
Cal raised his eyebrows in a deliberate surprise expression.
"Yeah sleeping beauty, you've been asleep most of today," she gave him another smile, more confident this time. She continued to smooth his hair and alternated to his cheek.
Cal loved that look in her eye. That was adoration. That was love. There were no more tears, just a lot of smiles and even a kiss. She said she would bring Lewis by after an early dinner. Cal was reluctant to let her hand go as she went to leave. Hospitals were far too big and lonely without Gillian's warmth.
Two hours later she was back and with Lewis in her arms. He was excited to see his father. When Gillian put him on the bed next to Cal she told him to be gentle, to be 'careful with Daddy'. Lewis gave him a hug and a kiss and signed that he loved him. "Awww, okay?" Lewis asked him, finger signing the 'O' and the 'K'.
Cal nodded his head.
"Aw," Lewis cooed. He patted his father's arm. "Better now."
Cal signed 'yes'. "Betta now," he whispered.
Through whispering and half signed sentences Cal explained the surgical assistant had come to see him while Gillian had been gone. His pain medication had been adjusted. He felt coherent but wasn't feeling much of anything else. The assistant had taken a look at his throat and declared it looked how it should. Which probably meant it looked a mess but that was what they expected of it right now.
"I should get this one home," Gillian announced. Lewis was resting against Cal's chest peacefully, listening to his father's heartbeat. He was skipping afternoon naps intermittently, which meant he got tired earlier. When his mother picked him up to take him home he started getting scratchy. "Uh oh, should have left earlier."
Cal wanted to tell her to come back, or to not leave, or that he missed her already, or to give him a kiss goodbye. But he could barely make much more noise than a raspy breath. He listened to the sounds of Lewis screeching his way down the corridor. Cal closed his eyes. He was fine. It was over. He could relax now. Right?