Disclaimer: I Do Not own Degrassi or it's characters.

A/N: You will learn a lot in this chapter, there's also a big twist. I'm dedicating this chapter to Tacobell girl for her wonderful review. I will also be doing a dedication chapter at the end of this story.

It's been two and a half weeks since Clare last woke up. I awoke next to Clare like usual, she's still sleeping and still has a feeding tube in her stomach, and nurses have been in and out all night and day checking on her. School's over now and it's normal for Clare to get visitors so I sat up in the bed rather than laying my head on her.

"How are you Eli?" Holly J asked when she walked in with Sav.

"I've been better." I said honestly

Holly J walked over to me and sat next to me. "I'm sure she'll wake up soon."

"I hope so she woke up the other night and the fucking nurse gave her Ibuprofen when it's written on her bracelet as one of her allergies." I stated bitterly.

"We're so sorry, but why are you both wearing red bracelets?" Sav asked

"Apparently we're suicidal." I chuckled a little.

'What?" Holly J exclaimed

I pulled out the note that Clare wrote and explained what I told them when they tried to make me leave.

"You two are really something aren't you?" She asked

"I guess we are."

"We're going to leave you two alone, be safe." Holly J said causing me to chuckle as I nodded.

I started to feel a little tired and I laid my head on Clare's chest with my arm wrapped around her. Her heart beat and warmth of her skin let me know she was alive besides the beeping of the machine of course, and it made me feel a little better.

"Ahem" Some one coughed as I started to drift off I kept my eyes closed not wanting to move. "You know you're in a hospital." A male voice said one that I wasn't too familiar with. It caused me to look up.

"KC." I stated dryly as I kept my head on Clare listening to her heart beat.

"How is she?" Jenna asked as I closed my eyes and shrugged.

"Can you not do lay on her like that?" KC asked

"She's my girlfriend I'll lay on her however the hell I want to." I exclaimed as I sat up. "Besides why do you can you're with Jenna?" I snapped

"Yea KC!" Jenna barked

"I don't it's just not right to do in a hospital."

We argued for a few minutes and then Jenna and KC argued causing them to leave.

I was happy with that and went to sleep on Clare's chest.

OOOOO

OOOOO

OOOOO

OOOOO

I woke up on the same bed I fell asleep on, it was still night when I awoke, but the scenery was different, there were still blue Forget Me Nots, but this time they were mixed together with white roses.

"Um did I?" I asked nervously and still groggy.

"No you didn't but sleeping here is healing your body a lot." the angle replied

I nodded "But you don't know when I'll be able to go home do you?" I asked sitting in the bed

"No I do not." She replied back sadly. "I can show you what's going on in your life, but after seeing it myself I've decided not to."

"What? Why?" I asked, she looked at me and her face was blank. "Is it that bad?"

"It's just sad everyone wants you to wake up and you're stuck here and want to go back."

I nodded not knowing what to say. "I did get permission for something." She chimed

"Really what's that?" I asked

"You have your memory back from last visit, so do you remember when you asked to see Eli if you'd chose to die?" She asked

"Yea." I said standing up and walking to her.

"Well I can show you since you're not going to die." She stated.

I laid down on the grass by her and a pillow appeared under my head. I looked to the sky and a big screen appeared.

"Will I be able to remember this?" I asked

"If you really want to, but I'm not sure how it'll effect your life or if I'll even be able to make you remember it."

"I really want to as long as it doesn't make me forget the people I love." I stated

"I can't promise anything."

I just sighed deeply and nodded not really giving a definite answer because I didn't have one.

I turned to the screen in the sky and watched the pictures play of how it would have been if I chose to die. My funeral appeared I was in a baby blue lacy dress with white ballet flats. I could see Eli, he wore a suit, his hair was slick back, and he looked very very angry like he wants some kind of vengeance. He sat in a pew next to CeCe she took his arm and he forcefully retracted it causing her to flinch as she pulled back. His name was called to say some words and his facial expression changed to a sadden one as he stood up and walked to my casket, he bent over and kissed my head, then walked to the alter.

"I hadn't known Clare for long, but she was the most amazing, caring, loving, joyful person I have ever met. I fell in love with her at first sight I loved *cough* excuse me love everything about her. She was broken just like me, but you'd never know unless she'd open up to you and you really had to work for her to open up or at least I did, but it was worth it. Everything I did for Clare was always worth it, I am the luckiest man alive because I was able to be with her, to kiss her when I wanted, to receive a smile that she had just for me." Eli started to sob "She was perfect she still is perfect no matter what anyone ever said she's always been perfect to me. Now she's gone, I'll never get her back, she'll never be in our lives again, we'll never be able to see that wonderful smile or those gorgeous baby blue eyes, everything about her was beautiful. No one can compare to Clare. She was everything and more that I could ask for and deserved." Eli paused and shook his head as the tears fell down. "Clare was a true goddess one definitely sent from the heavens above if there is such a place, she was an angel spreading her light in everyone that had the pleasure to meet her. She will be missed." Eli said before walking down.

I cried as he talked "Can we move forward please?" I asked

"This is a month after."

I looked at the screen as the pictures started to move forward, then stop on Eli. He was in his room with Lily the one that belonged to the three of us. My belongings were still where I had left them.

"It's been a month Eli, and they're going to make us clean out her locker." Lily said sadly she looks really really thin almost like a skeleton.

Eli sat on his bed and nodded. Lily looked at him with pleading eyes as he held his arm out, she sat next to him and put her head on his chest as his arm dropped around her.

"I can't believe she's gone. I miss her Lil." Eli said sadly

"Me too." Lily agreed

"Kids lunch is ready." CeCe called

"Not hungry." the two chimed

CeCe stood in the doorway leaning on it "You two have to eat and I don't mean something small like a sandwich or a few bites of whatever."

Eli removed his arm from Lily as he stood up his shirt was extremely too big for him and his rings were gone as well as his bracelet. Both of them looked like death warmed over.

"Adam's coming by later." CeCe chimed

Lily and Eli nodded. "Come on kids high spirits." Bullfrog said trying to cheer them up, but failing. Eli and Lily forked spaghetti around their plates eating it in small bites they only ate half of the plate.

"Don't worry they're eating enough to get by." She stated I nodded as I still cried

The pictures jumped to after dinner. "Sis I miss Clare." Eli sobbed still as she pulled Eli in for a hug.

"Sis?" I asked

"CeCe adopted Lily as her daughter in hopes that she'd help Eli, but they're both chronically depressed."

I nodded again.

There was a knock at Eli's door and CeCe answered it, Adam was on the other end, he was in a beanie like usual, he nodded at CeCe as he walked inside. Once he got to Eli's room Eli got up and hugged him, Lily hugged him too.

"We missed you man." Eli said "Please don't ever leave us." Eli sobbed

"I'm sorry I won't." Adam said

"The four of them tried to attempt suicide together all three failed. Mrs. Torres but Adam away, but CeCe talked to Eli and Lily and made an agreement with them that they'd go to therapy together, both of them are inseparable."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Josh is lucky he's with Clare." Lily said all three nodded.

The pictures jumped again to the next day at school.

Lily and Eli walked into school as everyone stared at them, Lily gripped Eli's arm as she laid her head on him. The two walked to their lockers without saying a word and Adam appeared and they exchanged glances. The three of them walked to class Lily tightly gripping Eli's arms and sobbed occasionally.

"It's ok Lil I'm here I'm not leaving you." Eli cooed

Lily nodded "I know."

"I know it's not the same." Adam said as they walked into English.

Lily and Eli were writing a paper together with Adam, but all three of them left in the middle of class and walked out of the building.

"Their lives don't get much better than that." She said "Eli, he died at the age of 18 as did Lily and Adam, the four committed suicide together all virgins so they were the real life virgin suicides." She said.

"If Eli and I broke up?" I asked, my voice shaking as I sobbed.

"That, I'm not allowed to tell you. Just know whenever you feel like dying remember what I just shown and told you." She stated as I cried.

"I'm going back to sleep." I said

"Ok."

The sky went back to night as the atmosphere calmed down and a soothing lullaby played.

I woke up to people talking and I looked around.

"Clare you're awake." Someone said causing me to look at them.

"Who are you?" I asked.

Any idea who Clare's talking to? Does she have a serious case of amnesia or does she remember certain people? Does she remember Eli? Or Lily? Perhaps Josh or Adam?