My friend convinced me that having a life wasn't as important as writing fanfiction, so here's another chapter for you. Warning: Pointless Emotional Turmoil/Tasty Teenage Angst.

xXx

Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Kurt is my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. I'm a boy who has a boyfriend. Boyfriend. The more Finn repeated it in his head, the more uncomfortable he became. He thought that the opposite would happen. He thought he would get used to it. But he just couldn't. It's like when you write a word over and over again, Finn contemplated, and each time you type it, the more you think you've spelled it wrong…

It kept Finn up at night. Like it was doing now. Once again, Finn found himself staring at his alarm clock plainly. It was 1:27 am. He blinked less. He breathed slower. His brain was taking up all of his energy, putting him into a nuclear sleep. He turned over onto his back, staring up to his ceiling. Insomnia hadn't struck him this hard in a while. After about the third day without sleep, the delusions begin. Finn would lose consciousness and open his eyes somewhere else. He was a walking zombie, his eyes red, his mind hazed.

Kurt noticed immediately at school.

"Finn, you haven't been sleeping well again."

Finn didn't know how he even got to Spanish today. His mind wandered in and out of blackouts.

"Not really, no…"

"Maybe you should go home, try and sleep."

Kurt placed his palm on Finn's forehead. Finn swatted Kurt's hand away and looked up to him with his bloodshot eyes. "Don't touch me," he hissed. Kurt deterred at Finn's reaction. He said nothing and went to sit down, eyes wide in perplexity.

Finn grabbed his backpack and walked up to Mr. Schuester and asked him if he could go to the nurse. Schuester nodded and Finn moseyed out of the room, Kurt watching him as he did.

xXx

As soon as Finn got home, he slumped over on the couch and stared into nothingness for what seemed like hours. He didn't want to take anything out on Kurt, but he couldn't help it. Kurt was, after all, the motive for most of his uncertainties.

He started snapping at Kurt again. The slight incident in Spanish class was just the beginning. Kurt tried to remain tender and understanding, which bothered Finn even more. Kurt couldn't ever be angry with him. He was always the calm one. Finn knew he loved him. He felt it in his heart and in his head. Every time Finn cracked at Kurt, he would immediately feel bad afterwards. But he couldn't fight the angst and the stress that it put on him. Guys on the basketball team would call him queer and homo constantly, and stray away from him completely in the locker room. It became harder and harder to deal with. It was the biggest change he had ever experienced, and he still couldn't cope.

Kurt knew that Finn was slipping away, and though he didn't want it to, he knew that he had to leave Finn to struggle to figure things out for himself. Kurt thought that in many ways, he was lucky to have known who he was so early. He didn't have to make a large effort to understand how his life was going to be. Finn didn't have it so easy. Kurt put up a strong front, but he, too, was having an emotional war. Every time Finn would tell him to go away or leave him alone, it hurt. Kurt knew that Finn didn't mean to make him feel bad, but he still did. But Kurt sucked it up. If Finn had to struggle, then Kurt would struggle too.

xXx

One Monday, after one of Finn's spells, he didn't show up for the rest of his classes. He went and sat out on the bleachers of the football field in solitude, trying to think things over again. It snowed gloomily. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He looked to see a new text message.

"Are you okay?"

It was from Kurt, naturally. Finn didn't want to respond, but he did anyway.

"I just have a lot on my mind."

That was his usual excuse, in this situation and others alike.

"Maybe we should talk," another text read less than a minute later.

"Sure," Finn texted in response. He knew that he didn't want to, but for Kurt's sake, he had too, "I'm on the football field."

Kurt made a point of not showing up too quickly. He walked up the bleachers through the snow, to where Finn was seated. Finn didn't look at him.

"Hi."

No response.

"We don't have to talk if you don't want to."

"No," Finn said, "I don't really want to. But we have to."

Kurt said nothing and sat down one row behind Finn, rubbing his cold hands.

"I know I've been acting out a lot recently," Finn said, "I promised myself I wouldn't do that anymore."

"Is this about me calling you my boyfriend that one day?"

Finn shrugged, "That and other things, I guess."

Kurt stared at Finn's back in sorrow.

"You're a guy, Kurt."

Kurt looked ahead and nodded slowly.

"And I know that I have these feelings for you…" Finn gulped, "But I… I don't get them."

Kurt was getting a cold. He pulled a kerchief out of his pocket and wiped his nose on it.

"And I know that we'd kiss and stuff and that I'd tell you I'd love you, but I don't know…"

"You don't know if you really love me or not," Kurt finished Finn's statement.

"I guess," Finn said. He looked over his shoulder, but not directly at Kurt.

Kurt sighed. Finn was an emotional rollercoaster. Times he would say he loved him, other times he would snap at him, he would give Kurt the cold shoulder one day and then be open and loving the next. Kurt looked at Finn's back- specks of snow were scattered across his black sweater. It's probably the hormones, Kurt thought.

"Well, Finn Hudson," Kurt stood up, "I can't help you. You have to figure this for yourself."

Finn looked back ahead and onto the snow-covered field.

"But when you do figure things out," Kurt closed his eyes, "I'll be waiting."

Kurt really wanted to tell Finn that he'd always love him, but that would make the situation more puzzling for Finn. Kurt began walking back down the metal steps. Finn said nothing.

Kurt turned and the two locked eyes. Neither of them said anything. Kurt dipped his head and left, and again, Finn felt that same remorse.

xXx

Kurt had to take the town bus home today, since his dad had the car again and he didn't want to ride with Finn (or wait for basketball practice to be over). It was about a five-block walk to the bus stop, but Kurt often took a shortcut through an ally on snowy days like these, despite the mud. He walked with his head up high, trying not to get dirt on the hem of his white trousers, but then stopped as he heard footsteps behind him. He slowly turned around, and his eyes went wide in terror.

xXx

Finn tried to ignore the chanting of the other jocks as he pulled his shirt over his head. He was getting fed up with this. The last straw was when he got out of the showers to see Karofsky and Azimio laughing as they drew crude pictures in sharpie all over Finn's locker.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Finn yelled as he pushed them away.

"What does it look like we're doing?" Azimio said.

Finn tried to rub off the drawings with the palm of his hand, to no avail. It merely smudged the black marker.

"We used to be friends!" Finn yelled again.

"Yeah, but that was before you joined homo explosion and Hummel turned you queer," mocked Karofsky.

"I'll kill you!" Finn's knuckles met the other jock's jawbone. He felt Azimio pushing him from behind before he turned around to punch him in the stomach. As he turned again, he felt Karofsky punch him in the nose, starting a full-out war between the three boys.

"Hey!" Ken Tanaka shouted, bursting into the locker room. The boys paid no notice and continued kicking and punching rapidly.

"God damn it," Tanaka rushed over to pull them apart, "Get off him… get off!"

The boys hesitantly tore apart.

"What are you guys doing?" their coach demanded. None of them answered. He repeated the question, louder. By this time the entire locker room was silent.

"We were just messing with Hudson."

"Messing with Hudson?" Ken repeated skeptically.

"Yeah."

"Finn," Ken turned toward the teenager, "You need to show self-restraint."

"Self restrai… how is this my fault?"

Ken looked around.

"I'm sick of everyone blaming everything on me!" Finn shouted, "And I'm even more sick of you guys!"

Karofsky looked over, squinting his eyes.

"I'm in Glee Club. I like being in Glee Club. Deal with it. We've gone over this, I don't really think I need to say it again," Finn sighed, "And this thing with Kurt, well, you need to deal with that too."

Azimio chuckled, triggering more laughs around the locker room.

"Stop laughing!" Finn nearly screamed, anger pulsing through his body, "Yeah. You know what? Yeah. I'm with Kurt. Kurt makes me happy. He's a dude? So what."

Once again, the room was silenced. A few boys shifted uncomfortably.

"Just because I'm in stupid fucking Lima around you stupid fucking people doesn't mean I can't be happy. You guys aren't my friends. You've never been my friends. And no matter how hard you try, I'm not going to throw away the things I love just for you idiots. I love Glee. I love Kurt," Finn gulped, "And just because I do doesn't mean I can't love playing sports too."

"So just… leave me alone," Finn said. He was shaking now. "See you tomorrow for practice."

xXx

When Finn got home, he was oddly pleased with himself. Standing up to Karofsky and all of the other jocks always made him feel good. He was actually doing something to help change his life for the better.

But he also felt bad for shutting Kurt out for the past few weeks. And the conversation they had that morning still haunted his mind like a restless wind inside a letterbox.

I do love Kurt. I don't want him to think anything otherwise, Finn thought. It was at this moment that Finn had an epiphany.

Finn looked over to the mirror next to his dresser. He got up and stood in front of it.

"Kurt," he said to the mirror, practicing, "I'm sorry. I know I've been flip-flopping and weird and all emotional and stuff. I'd be all nice one day and then kind of mean the next and I feel really bad for putting you through that. I was really confused…"

Finn coughed and then stared back into his reflection, "But things are gonna be different now. I want to be with you for real."

He blinked a few times and then rubbed his nose. That was pretty good, right?

xXx

Babies didn't sleep as well as Finn had that night. At 6:45, he hopped out of bed. He put on his blue argyle sweater and a pair of dark, faded Levi's. He combed his hair, ate a bowl of Captain Crunch, and brushed his teeth. He usually skipped brushing his teeth and hair, but he wanted to be clean today.

Kurt was usually earlier than him to Spanish class, but for some reason he wasn't today. Finn didn't think much of it, but he saved the seat.

But Kurt didn't show up. He didn't show up to Glee either. Finn didn't even see him in the halls.

Throughout the entire day, Finn just kept thinking, He's just home sick, probably. He looked like he was catching a cold yesterday.

Finn figured he'd just go over and visit him at his house after school. So he did.

He knocked three times on the Hummel's front door, stepped back, and waited 20 seconds for Burt to open the door. When he did open the door, Finn was shocked to see Burt's eyes puffy and red, from crying. Finn didn't even think Burt had tear ducts.

"B…Burt? What's wrong?"

xXx

HAHAHA, CLIFFHANGER! BAM! AND YOU THOUGHT LOST WAS OVER!

By the way, Finn has bad grammar on purpose. It's character writing.

Sorry this chapter took so long to produce. I was kind of lost after last week's episode (which was bitchin', by the way. Mike O'Malley is a terrific actor. So is Chris Colfer. Seriously, that's the shit Emmy's are made of, and I would know).

Anyways, I'm excited for tomorrow's episode because they're singing BECK! It's just Loser, but Beck is one of my favourite artists, and the only Scientologist that doesn't scare me, so it's exciting. Also, they're doing a MARKY MARK song which is hilariously great. Mark Wahlberg is my adopted son, so.

Did I use any songs in this? No? Huh. Well, ten points for you if you picked up the Beatles reference.

Glee is owned by Fox, which is awful because Fox sucks, but Glee is good enough for me to overlook that