"Cal your phone is ringing," Gillian told him as she came into his office.
"Uh huh."
"Are you going to get it?" She crossed to his desk.
"I'm ignorin' it."
"In case it's Zoe?" Gillian asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"No, cos I'm workin' on this," Cal crossed the room to the whiteboard and drew a series of arrows across the blown up image of a man's face. The ringing ceased.
Gillian picked his phone up. "And what if it was important?"
"If it was important, they'll call back," Cal supplied. He wrote a series of numbers next to the man's cheek. "You seen Roberts?"
"Yeah he's interviewing Mr Sanderson," Gillian supplied absently.
Cal turned to face her again. "Why would Zoe be callin' me?"
"About Thanksgiving?" Gillian suggested.
"How do you know about that?"
"You forget, sometimes Emily and I talk."
"Right."
"And seeing as she didn't get an answer out of you she asked me if we had talked about it."
"Right."
"Which we haven't." She paused and gave him raised eyebrows. "Shall we talk about it?"
"Zoe invited us to have Thanksgivin' with her this year," Cal stated matter-of-factly.
"That's nice."
"I said we'd think about it." He waited for her to respond. He raised his eyebrows. "Well?" He prompted.
"Honest answer?"
"Neva asked you to lie to me," Cal pointed out.
"I'd rather not."
"Oh thank god," Cal crossed the room quickly. "I couldn't think of anythin' worse. I'd ratha have Thanksgivin' with your family."
"Hey!" Gillian objected to the mild insult.
Cal gave her a quick but rough kiss. "I meant, I'm too tired and unenthusiastic to go ova there and play happily families this year."
"And how did my family end up amongst your snarky comment?" Gillian gave him raised eyebrows again.
"On the scale of places I'd ratha be for Thanksgivin' this year, home with you and the kids bein' at the top, war torn Iraq bein' right at the very bottom; your family rates somewhere between the top and bein' at Zoe's."
Gillian gave him a slight frown. "Sometimes you talk a load."
"Of bollocks," Cal finished for her. Then he looked around the office, belatedly worried about cussing in front of their children. "Where are the munchkins?"
"Munchkin Land?"
Cal took his phone out of her hands and put it in his pocket. Gillian had distracted him nicely enough now that he wasn't going to work until she left again.
"They're with their Aunt Ria and Uncle Eli."
"What are you doin' here anyway?"
"Funny, I saw my name on the door," Gillian gestured over her shoulder. "So just thought I'd come on in."
"Smart," Cal muttered under his breath and signed the rest of his sentence: a 'B' hand, palm facing out, tapped against the mouth.
Gillian returned his sentiment by making the same 'B' hand but tapping it against her forehead. "Lewis wanted to show you something." She reached down to take his left hand and started to guide him out of his office. Cal tucked the marker he had in his other hand into his pocket. Gillian took him out into the corridor and then down to the break room where apparently Lewis was holding court. Cal stopped Gillian just back from the open door so they could watch him without being spotted.
Eli was holding Lily and doing a kind of nervous jig. Lewis was standing on a chair at one of the tables waving something green and plastic in the air. Ria and Paul were listening to him intently point out that it was green and it was also very exciting and that it had a few other thrilling features here and here.
"Is it for me?" Paul asked him.
Lewis shook his head. "Mine."
"Oh for you?" Paul over exaggerated his understanding. "Is it new?"
Lewis nodded again.
"What is it?" Cal whispered to Gillian. Lewis kept waving and shifting it around so it was hard to get a good look at it.
"A potty."
"Finally," Cal enthused.
Gillian gave his shoulder a light smack. "I've been busy."
"That's a very cool colour," Ria told Lewis. "Is that your favourite?"
Lewis nodded in response. Then he babbled something else and Cal picked up dinosaur out of the stream of words. Ria looked blank. "What kind of dinosaur?" Paul asked. Cal turned to Gillian and gave her slightly raised eyebrows. She hooked an arm around his waist while they stood together. Cal could feel her body warmth seep through his clothes. And oh heaven above she smelt good.
Lewis made a gnashing sound and screwed up his face like he was going to attack something and then said a few words about his performance. "A scary one?" Paul asked him.
"Raaar," Lewis responded.
"He got kids?" Cal asked Gillian in a murmur.
"No," she whispered back.
"What's this for then?" Paul asked Lewis, placing a finger on the potty to indicate it.
Lewis looked at it confused. Cal watched, amused, wondering if Doctor Roberts was going to volunteer to explain. Paul turned to his colleague, "Ria? Care to jump on that one?"
Eli gave a chuckle from where he was standing.
"I like him," Cal turned to Gillian with a whisper.
"Who Lewis? I should think so. He's your son."
"What have you been eatin' today? You got the funnies."
She gave him a slight smile. "Lewis and I went for ice-cream. Don't panic!" She added. "The sugar will wear off by the time you get home."
"Hopefully it'll be out of both of your systems."
Gillian gave a 'hmmmm' with that funny little mischief smile.
"I meant your new boyfriend," Cal clarified.
"Eli?" Gillian queried. She feigned a very obvious 'surprise' expression and then sobered up again. She knew who he was talking about. "Good. I'm glad you like him."
The phone in Cal's pocket started ringing again. He pushed away from his wife as the group in the break room turned towards the noise. "Oh Dad!" Lewis spotted him and climbed awkwardly from his chair. He tripped over his own foot as he turned and sprawled onto the hard ground, the potty skittered a few feet away.
Paul bent down to pick him up. Gillian stepped forward as Cal answered the call. "Please leave him," she told Roberts. "He's all right."
"Oh sorry."
"No, no," Gillian gave him a smile to show she didn't mind. "He needs to learn that every time he falls over isn't the end of the world and that he can pick himself up."
Lewis seemed stunned for a moment and gave a half whimper like he wanted to cry, but he picked himself up. He looked up for his father only to find that he was gone again. "Oh," he pointed at the doorway.
"He's on the phone," Gillian told him. She straightened his shirt, fighting the urge to hug and comfort him just like Paul had tried to do. In the back of her mind she registered that just before Cal had disappeared he had said 'no I'm very interested'.
Lewis went to the doorway and peered out. Heidi walked by and greeted him. Lewis stared up at her. Eli noted how mild mannered Lily seemed to be and Gillian smiled in response. Lily cried most of the day and for long blocks of time at night. Even Lewis walked around the house with his hands over his ears. She was a gorgeous baby and good with strangers, but every so often she would get crazy insecure.
Ria and Paul excused themselves to get back to work and Eli reluctantly agreed that he should too. He passed Lily back to her mother and ruffled Lewis's hair on his way by. Lewis looked at Gillian and she gave him a shrug in response. "I don't know why they do that either." She produced snacks for Lewis while they waited for his father to come back. Lily sat happily in Gillian's arms. She was fed, dry, content for once.
"So, what did you wanna show me?" Cal came striding back in.
"Nothing too thrilling. Lewis wanted to show you his potty."
On hearing his name and the keyword, Lewis got to his feet on his chair and pointed to the potty that had fallen to the floor when he had tripped. "Potty!" He announced loudly. "Look Dad! Potty!"
"Very excitin' isn't it?" Cal told him.
"I think he's more excited that it's his and it's new," Gillian pointed out.
"I don't care. As long as he uses it."
"Well you can show him as soon as you get home."
Cal sat for a moment. They watched each other. "Nope I've got nothin'."
"No snide come back?"
"Nope," he shook his head. Gillian laughed delighted. "But then I haven't eaten a quart of frozen suga recently eitha. I'll give you a call afta I have lunch with my comeback."
"Who was on the phone," Gillian changed the subject. "I take it, it was important?"
"Sort of. Not really. But it was interestin'."
"I heard."
"You know The Gottman Relationship Institute in Seattle?"
Where a team of researches and scientist were dedicated to researching marriages, what made them successful and which ones were likely to last.
"Yes," Gillian answered dubiously, wondering where this was going. She hoped Cal hadn't volunteered them to participate in the study.
"They got their hands on my book and they want me to go out and present the findin's. Maybe hang out for a bit, see what they do there, and if we can collaborate."
"Collaborate?" Her voice rose sharply as Lily struck an unsteady hand into her throat. Gillian knew the book in particular that Cal was talking about of his was the last one he had written, just before he had asked her to marry him. The one about facial expressions showing love. It was interesting the Gottman Institute were interested. And it would go a long way to validating Cal's work too. Or disproving it. It was just a theory after all. A best selling theory, but a theory nonetheless.
"Are you all right?" Cal asked quickly.
"Yeah, she surprised me," Gillian turned Lily around further so her wavering limbs and grabbing fingers were more likely to hit Gillian in the arms only this time. "Are you going to go to Seattle?"
"Well that depends doesn't it?"
"On what?" Gillian asked confused.
Lewis attempted to climb from his chair to his father's lap. Cal reached for him and sat back to give his son more space. "On you and Lewis and Lily."
Gillian watched him across the table neutrally and waited for him to expand.
"I'm not gonna take off for several weeks if you're not all right with that," Cal explained.
PJ
Gillian pressed down the metal tabs on the back of the frame and turned it over in her hands. She smiled slightly at the photo. It had been taken at Cal's fiftieth birthday celebration just a few months ago. She turned to Lewis's wall and hung it in place on the far right in the series. Lewis was getting updated photos to stay current with the new ones on Lily's wall. Gillian had swapped out the pictures of those who were still alive; her parents, Cal, herself, Emily, Lewis and Lily. Lily got one extra photo though. One of Kiera.
"Mum!" Lewis called from the other room. "Wipe my bottom!"
Gillian went into the bathroom. Lewis was using the big toilet with a special insert that made the hole smaller so he didn't fall in. Once she was in the room he was allowed to climb down using the booster step he also used to reach the sink with so he could brush his teeth. Gillian wiped his butt for him and washed both of their hands and then, bare bottomed, Lewis took off from the room. She was about to call out to him be quiet but stopped. If she yelled she might wake Lily herself and Lewis couldn't hear her yelling through the wall anyway.
She went to check on Lily, who was, thankfully, still sleeping and then went back to Lewis's room. He was in there kicking an orange balloon left over from Halloween celebrations. Gillian snuck in and gave his bottom a light smack. "Oi nude boy, put some underwear on."
Lewis squealed and danced away from her, chasing after the balloon he punted while he moved away. Gillian straightened the last picture into place and turned to find Lewis attempting to bite the balloon now. She winced, waiting for it to burst. It held out. She debated over taking it from him. He wasn't going to learn there were consequences to biting things unless he actually experienced said consequences. He bit Cal once. It was the only time she had seen her husband lose his temper with the boy. And that was probably because Lewis had actually managed to draw blood.
Gillian checked her watch. "Shall we start dinner?" She asked Lewis. She signed 'eat'.
"Ohh yum, yum, yum," Lewis chanted. "Din-na, din-na."
"Underwear," Gillian told him firmly. "And pants." She went to the kitchen and perused the cupboards. What was quick to make and easy and yet was also 'yum, yum, yum'? Delivered pizza was. Her phone started ringing. Gillian raced to her bedroom to pick it up. "Hello?" She answered breathlessly.
"Aye, aye what have you been up to?"
"Hey," Gillian said warmly. "I thought you were going to ring later."
"Is it not late-a?"
"No."
"Oh." There was a pause in which Gillian assumed he was looking at his watch. "What time have you got there?"
"Dinner time."
"Oh."
"Oh."
Lewis came running into the room squealing. This time, he had no clothes on at all. "What the bloody hell is that?"
"That's your son," Gillian replied not amused. "Hang on a sec." She put the phone down, microphone facing the bedspread. "Lewis," she caught his arm to stop him. "Be quiet. Lily is asleep. Go and get dressed."
He pulled his arm out of her grip. "Let's go," Gillian told him. She almost forgot the phone.
"Everythin' all right?"
"Yes."
"Lie-a, lie-a," Cal sing-songed.
Gillian went to Lewis's bedroom. "I'm just busy. Two kids is hard when you're doing it alone. I have few found respect for single parents." And what the hell she might have faced had the cancer not been caught so early. She swallowed a lump.
Cal sighed. "I can come home early."
"You may as well stay. It's only two more days."
"Maybe I shouldn't have gone."
"No, don't say that. It's great publicity and credibility and more importantly, something fun. You need fun Cal."
"You need fun too."
"And when you get back I shall have a girl's night out."
"Deal."
"Now, can I call you back? Your son has decided to wander around the house with no clothes on and it's driving me insane."
"Um," Cal spoke up quickly. "At the risk of also gettin' a tellin' off, does he really need to have clothes on? I mean, is it hurtin' anyone? He's just expressin' himself."
Gillian took a deep breath and let the anger subside. "No it's not," she agreed evenly. She went to the kitchen instead. "But I still have to go."
"Dinna time right," Cal agreed. "Love you."
"I'll talk to you later." She hung up. Then she picked up the other phone and ordered a pizza. She couldn't be bothered cooking. Not just that, she missed Cal. He had been gone a week now and was supposed to be in Seattle for another three days. Nightly phone calls just weren't the same as being held in his arms as she went to sleep every night.
Gillian let Lewis run around the house naked. He attempted to hide from her and before she realised what she was doing Gillian was playing along. She caught Lewis three times for tickle torture and when dinner arrived and she asked him to put underwear on to sit up at the table he actually obliged. She realised, again, that the more relaxed she was with her kids the more relaxed they were with her. She ate with Lewis at the table and when she went to check on Lily found the little girl awake in her crib playing with her own feet. No crying. Gillian picked her up carefully and brought her to sit on the couch. Gillian propped her up in the corner and Lewis immediately went to get something to read to her. He showed her the pictures, pointing out the exciting ones and making animal noises. Gillian took a picture on her blackberry and sent it to Cal.
Later she put both of them in the bath; Lily had a little baby recliner so Gillian could keep her hands free. Lewis threw water in Lily's face, to which she startled, but didn't cry. Gillian told him to be gentle with the two month old baby. He fetched toys for her to play with and then told her she wasn't supposed to eat them when Lily put them in her mouth. It was more like: no! no eat them! Gillian dressed Lily and supervised Lewis putting his pyjamas on. The only thing that would have made the evening perfect family time was if Cal had been there too. He took a lot of pressure off. She thought she could cope. She had routines and strategies but actually, having a second body in the house to help out made a huge difference. And she had come to rely quite a bit on the emotional support too.
And then another sudden crippling harrowing thought about her life being like this every day if the cancer had been worse.
Gillian made sure Lily wasn't able to roll off the couch and then went to get a glass of water. She took several deep breaths at the sink. That freak out had come from nowhere. She figured neither of them had dealt with his cancer very well at the time. Too many other things going on in the background. Which was how Cal had started to fall apart too. Was she falling apart?
Gillian pulled her phone and sent Cal a text: FREE IN A FEW HOURS?
She took her water back to the living room. Lewis was lying on the couch quietly. "Aw are you tired little man?"
Lewis shifted his eyes to look at her.
"You wore yourself out with all that streaking."
The phone in her pocket chimed. Cal: I'LL B HERE WAITING
So Gillian put Lewis to bed first and he went out like a light. Then she hung out with Lily and watched a bit of TV. She gave Lily a bottle and rocked her to sleep too. Then she text Cal back and he rang immediately.
"Perfect timin' sweetheart I just got back to the hotel."
"Cool."
"Giblets asleep?"
"Did you just refer to our children as the innards of a chicken?"
"Yes. Small, icky and usually just get fed to the cat."
"Huh. That made no sense whatsoever. Have you been drinking?"
"No I'm not drunk. But I am high."
"Oh goodie," Gillian said in sheer disbelief.
"On the sound of your voice. Missed you loads."
"Oh dear. We're in cliché mode."
"Yes I'm workin' my way through the complete cad's guide to cliché's."
"Somehow I'm inclined to believe that you really do have that book."
"Well I ran out of otha ways to entertain myself."
"Really? You ran out?"
"Well that sounded naughty."
"No it didn't," Gillian laughed.
"Wait, say it again in your sexy voice. I'll take my pants off."
Gillian laughed again.
"Tell me what you're wearin'," Cal suggested. "Slowly."
Gillian laughed harder but tried to suppress it. The house was quiet. "Leave your pants on big boy, nothing's going to happen."
"Why? Are there munchkins nearby?"
"Yes."
"Lie-a, lie-a."
"Are you a voice expert now?"
"I've been listenin' to your voice for twenty years. I'd say I know it quite well by now."
Gillian smiled to herself. It was not twenty years, but that milestone wasn't far away.
"And suddenly, it's serious again. So what's up my darlin'? Why do you sound funny?"
"Funny?"
"That's the technical marka for... a problem you don't want to tell me about."
Gillian sighed and stretched her legs out on the bed. "I was thinking about it being difficult having the kids on my own and missing you terribly and then I was thinking what it could have been like if you had died. Freaked the hell out of me."
"Me too," Cal was suddenly very serious. "Listen. I've been thinkin'. A week is long enough. I wanna come home. I've done everythin' I came here to do. The last few days were just about muckin' around."
Gillian opened her mouth to object but the more he talked the more he easily convinced her that that was what she really wanted too.
"I miss you and the kids and I didn't like comin' here and leavin' you with them in the first place. Lily is barely two months old and Lewis is becomin' more of a terra as the weeks go by. It's like he's makin' up for lost time not just with his hearin' but otha imaginary targets too."
"I miss you too Cal."
Cal stopped abruptly. "I've changed my flight. Can you pick me up tomorrow?"
"No, you'll have to walk."
"Fine but I expect a foot massage when I get in."
"We'll see."
There was a moment of silence. "Gill?"
"Yes Cal?"
"Do you sometimes think we're too close? That, we're too wrapped up in each otha? That it's dangerous?"
"Why are you talking about this?"
"Just you know, I think about it sometimes. I think that I love you so much it hurts. I wonda if I could eva live without you now that I've had you."
Gillian fidgeted with the elastic of her underwear. "Of course you would," she told him quietly. "For Lewis and for Lily and for Emily. I wouldn't expect anything else from you if I was gone. In fact, I would come back to kick your ass if you weren't there for them."
"Yeah you're totally right. And just so you know, I'd come back to kick your butt if you weren't there for our kids too."
And bam! Just like that he'd twisted the conversation around in a way only Cal knew how to do to not only tell her something significant, but let her wander into the conclusion of her own accord, and let it comfort her on a level she couldn't explain. Would she be devastated if Cal was gone? God yes. But she would also pick herself up every day, get out of bed every damn day, for her little boy and her little girl.
"How'd I do?" Cal asked. "Need an imaginary hug too?"
"Perfect. And a real hug would be better. Text me your flight details tomorrow."
"I'm so lookin' forward to our reunion."
"Me too."
"No, cos you see, every time we've been separated we have the most amazin' sex as soon as we see each otha again."
Gillian gave a light chuckle of disbelief but then when she thought about it, they really did. She immediately felt hot and her body throbbed. "Ok, take your pants off."