Gillian stood way in the back, against the wall, while she waited. Lily was in her car seat attached to the stroller making happy noises and Lewis was tied to the front of the stroller on a little step. He wasn't tied down literally, although Gillian had been tempted. Around his wrist was a strap that was designed not to let him wander away from her too far. Especially in the airport. She could lose him so easily in a crowd. It actually made her heart a little jumpy thinking about it. Or was that because she was looking forward to seeing her husband?

Cal found her in the crowd, like they had pre-planned. He stepped out suddenly from the side and took her by surprise. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her heart delighted to see him again. He gave her a firm kiss in greeting. He'd had a haircut. And he looked happy and relaxed as he hugged Lewis tightly and leaned in to give the baby's head a caress. They didn't talk much because it was noisy. It was so noisy Gillian had turned Lewis's hearing aids right down so they didn't hurt his ears.

They went home. Lily fell asleep in the car while Lewis kept up a constant babble of everything that had happened since Cal had been away. Cal reached out for Gillian's hand while she drove. She gave him a double squeeze: love you, missed you, glad you're home. When they got in Lewis raced around showing his father all the pictures he had drawn and the house or monster or whatever it was meant to be out of Lego. Cal read to Lewis for half an hour too, one new book, a thousand of the old ones. Cal just figured Lewis was happy to have him home. He followed Cal around the house when he went to unpack. Gillian was lying on their bed reading. She eyed him up and Lewis attempted to read what she was reading but when Cal moved on to take his dirty clothes to the laundry he scrambled down again and followed his father. Cal let Lewis push the buttons to set the machine going. Lewis took great delight in the noises and Cal smiled to himself. It was good to be home.

PJ

Cal pushed open Lily's bedroom door. She was on her back in the crib crying; her face red. "Hi little one! Daddy's home," he picked her up and kissed her and then realised what he had done. Without thinking. He hadn't told her that he was her Dad until now. He wiped her tears away and she calmed down remarkably quickly. Lily gave him a sudden smile and gurgled happily. Cal smiled in realisation. "All right darlin'. You and me. We just turned a corna here." He kissed her again. And she gave another bright smile.

"I just got a smile," Cal announced as he came into the kitchen.

"Could have been wind," Gillian shot from the table. She was sitting with Lewis while he had a slightly early dinner without them. But children ate better when their parents were there; or maybe it was just because they were under supervision.

"I claim the first smile," Cal ignored her as he sat in his usual spot under the window. Gillian shifted her legs so they were resting against his calves. "And I'm also gonna get the first word this time. Just thought you should know."

"Bring. It. On."

"No brainwashin' her while I'm at work."

"I won't need to," Gillian responded innocently.

"Here," Lewis tried to offer his father some of his macaroni.

"Nah that's for you buddy," Cal told him. "You have it. I'm gonna eat late-a with your mutha and then put her to bed early too."

"Yep," Lewis responded and wiggled his eyebrows up and down. He put the pasta in his mouth.

Cal looked up to find Gillian giving the table an embarrassed grin.

"Finished!" Lewis announced.

"Good boy," Gillian told him. "Take your plate out," she reminded him. Lewis climbed down and reached for his plate. He was barely taller than the table. And he couldn't reach the bench at all so Gillian helped him push it further. Lily babbled a string of sounds and blew bubbles with her own drool. Cal got up to retrieve a bib from the bottom drawer in the breakfast island. He pushed it over her head one handed and then used the bottom of it to wipe her mouth. Liquid brown eyes stared up at him and Cal felt his heart warm.

Cal followed Gillian to the couch where she had picked up her book again. He sat on her feet and she belatedly moved them out of his way only to tuck them under his thigh again as he settled with Lily in his lap. She continued to coo away happily while Lewis watched a movie, sitting in Cal's easy chair. Cal half watched the screen but paid more attention to the girl in his arms. He had thought about her while he was away for the week. He wondered how she was doing. He had actually missed her. When he got home, he wanted to hug and kiss her. Did that make her family now? Not just on paper but in his heart too?

He couldn't help but think he had been detached from a lot in the last few months. He had denied being sick and justified it as being strong for Gillian. He had resisted the adoption, and also put that down to being strong for Gillian. But the truth was he hadn't dealt with either subject very well and had wandered around aimlessly for a while. Going to Seattle, seeing the research on marriages, teaching the scientists and researches there how to read facial cues... it took him back... all the way back to the days in which he realised he was falling for Gillian. To the days in which he realised she was falling for him too. And having the courage to kiss her that night in his office, to overcome his fears, to push himself into having more children, for being the strength she needed. All of it had been for her. What she said on the phone, about being afraid of doing it alone. He meant what he had said; he would keep going for her and for their children. For the little boy sitting in an oversized arm chair, fascinated by fish on the TV. For the little girl in his arms, desperately wanting to be loved and to belong.

Cal promised himself, if he ever doubted his life again or the choices he had made, he would remember just three things: that his life had brought him Emily; Gillian and therefore Lewis; and Kiera and therefore Lily. He can't be being punished so much if he was allowed blessings like them. It was time to stand up and embrace them fully. It wasn't too late to go back and do this properly.

PJ

"What the hell is that!?"

Cal looked down. "Well sweetheart, if you don't know what that is by now then..."

"Not that," Gillian told him annoyed. "That," she pulled at his arm.

"Oh yeah," he suddenly remembered. "I meant to tell you about that before I got home..." he told her sincerely.

Gillian turned him into the light and twisted his arm up so she could see the symbols better. "Chinese symbols for what?" She asked.

"Hope and Fate."

Gillian's head came up abruptly. Lewis Guy Hope. Lily Kiera Fate.

"I already have a tattoo for Em. Thought it was fittin'."

"It is. You really did have fun playing in Seattle," Gillian mused.

Cal leaned down to kiss her neck, his hands smoothing over her butt and then grabbing hold of it tightly. He gave a little groan. "God I missed you."

"But where's my tattoo?" Gillian asked softly; the only indication that she was still with him was the heavy rise and fall of her chest.

"Uh," Cal thought. Well that was fair enough. He didn't have a tattoo for Gillian. Not that he was going to tattoo any women's names on his skin. If he'd done that he'd be covered. But when he'd married Zoe he got something to commemorate it. There was something to honour his Irish heritage. There were three now to honour his children. And one rather ambiguous one that was really about a turning point in his life. If Gillian wasn't another major turning point then Cal didn't know what the hell was. "Fair point luv." He bit her lightly on that little sensitive spot under her ear. "Maybe you can help me pick one out?"

Gillian's hands smoothed over Cal's shoulders. "Maybe we can get one together."

Cal's teeth came down harder than he intended at the same time his hands constricted; the result was pushing Gillian's body into his further. "Wow," she breathed in his ear. She rubbed her hips against his eliciting a groan. "That really turned you on didn't it?"

Cal nodded. He licked the skin he had all ready ravaged. Gillian. With a tattoo? Yes. Hot. Very hot. God yes. He growled against her and nodded again. He pushed her back against the bed, stepping back to tug her shirt off over her head.

"You were very clingy with Lily this evening," she noted lightly.

Seriously? She wanted to talk about their daughter while they were in the middle of this?

"Uh huh," Cal nodded. "Spent some time thinkin' while I was away."

"Me too," Gillian noted. She undid her jeans and pushed them down over her hips while Cal did the same with his own trousers. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinkin' about the last few months. Since she arrived, I feel like all the chaos has stopped. You know, like the whirlwind has died down. Like the cancer neva happened. Like Brandon Bloody Mitchell neva happened. Like New York neva happened." Cal kicked his jeans away and leaned down to tug Gillian's off too. "I feel like this is how it should have been three years ago afta you miscarried. You know? Like we can just cut and splice the film from that moment to this."

"And Lewis?"

"He's all right," Cal responded as if Lewis was a minor character. He threw her jeans to the floor. "I'd have to edit the film a bit more then. Cut out the shitty IVF treatments, have Lewis the natural way and everythin' would be magical."

"You've been reading too many Disney stories," Gillian told him as she looked up at him in her underwear from the bed.

"They're not stories, they're real life," he pouted climbing over her to straddle her hips, keeping his weight on his knees though, not on her.

Gillian placed a hand on his cheek as he leaned in close to her face. "So much better clean shaven. And I wish we could have just edited our lives too. But you know what? No matter how bad it got, no matter how scary, no matter how many times my heart broke. It was all worth it to be with you and to have Lewis and to have this little girl. I had a good feeling that it would all work out in the end. With you I felt like it would work out ok in the end. Some things are just meant to be."

Cal gave her a slight smile, not sure he agreed, but not seeing a way to ridicule her either. They kissed sweetly, softly. Gillian's hand smoothed down his neck to his shoulder. She pulled back and her expression turned to understanding. "Hence Fate?"

Cal nodded. Well, then there was that.

Gillian gave him a soft kiss. "I'd take the good with the bad any day with you Cal."

"Love you too," he whispered back.

Gillian kissed him firmly. "Now, seriously, I want you to shag me like crazy."

Cal felt his entire body twitch at the demand. He grinned. "Funny, that's what I want to do too."

"Well it must be fate then."

PJPJPJPJ

AN: So that's it... for now. (I say that every time...)

This story, like all the others, took on a life of its own towards the middle. This is the only story of the saga so far that has gone through three major re-writes. Finally, finally, I feel I'm at a point where I'm happy about it. In the beginning, I tried for 'happy fic' but to be honest it felt as false to me as it did to you (I could tell you guys weren't quite as invested during the opening chapters so they became more about setting the scene...) Cloe, yes, something was 'off' between them since the adoption started (and possibly even before that) and I felt it just as much as you and Cal did too. This was not a story that had a miracle cure (though I'm sure it seems that Lily is in fact a miracle, and a cure for their marriage) and 'fixing' their marriage is certainly not over (as far as I see it anyway), although they are getting there.

These stories have always, fundamentally, been about Cal's journey and this one was about coming to the realisation that even though he fought and fought he couldn't fix everything with his spidey senses. Some things were out of his control. Even though they had dealt with the things in their marital past it didn't mean the underlying issues were resolved and as you can see from this story, they clearly hadn't. This story was about reflection and knowing that just because you say and do all the right things, doesn't necessarily mean they are the right things to do for the situation or for the other person involved. Cal over compensated and he realised that too late. He lost himself within the premise of the greater good (his marriage and making sure his wife was happy). At some point he had to stand up and say he couldn't do it anymore. But he didn't because he didn't know what was going on with Gillian, she disconnected from him and he tried to make their marriage how it used to be while chaos erupted around them. He was still meeting her more than halfway and that kind of intensity is hard to deal with. When Gillian got back from NY she said they needed to find a new balance in their relationship and while they said they would, they didn't. Life got in the way of actually taking the time to consciously shift the energy around their marriage. It takes a lot of effort and if the other person isn't there to help you, it fails (that comes from personal experience).

It's easy for me and for you to sit here and go 'they should have done this and this. Cal should have done this. Gillian shouldn't have done that and she should have done this'. I know if I was in their situation I certainly would have done things differently. Or at least I think I would have. But marriage is a two way street and when Cal pushed Gillian pulled and vice versa and they just missed each other in the ether that is life. It happens. You want them to be infallible but that doesn't mean they are perfect. They are people too remember and they are still learning. This is a second marriage for both of them. Sometimes they get lost. I will always make sure they're found again; you have faith in me right?

For anyone confused that this was a 'callian' fic, I never labelled it as such. I only ever promised angst and drama and sometimes an M chapter. I just hope, that those of you that perhaps didn't entirely get out of this fic what you wanted, didn't and haven't given up on me completely. I certainly plan on redeeming myself further than the last five 'happy' chapters at the end.

All I can say is, I hope you're still with me on this fic despite its ups and downs.

To my loyal 'groupies' thank you for joining me on this one too. To the newbies who came to review every chapter, thank you so much for coming to play; I hope I've enticed you enough to read the first parts and maybe one more? And to my many creepers, I love that you read it anyway, even if you felt the need to remain silent, thank you! (No judgement here.)

Much love. Read you around :)

PJ xxx

PJ

"Cal?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we ok?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes please," Gillian pointed out even though she was worried.

A pause.

"I don't know."