Author's note:
Wow, it's been a long time since I updated this huh? Well… Here's a new chapter. I have went over the old chapters and changed some things - not much. You probably don't have to re-read them if you don't want to, but seeing how its been so long, you probably should. Some scenes are missing. I accidentally got rid of the "It's easy to pretend" scene which sucks, but…I've tried to re-add it in this chapter.. This story will still not be updated regularly, but I thought I'd give you at least a chapter, since it's been so long!
The next three days pass slowly as the defense parades a long list of experts. Even Julie, Adam's old friend, gets on the stand for the defense. She's paralyzed from the fall, but she tells the jury how Adam changed into someone else, that it wasn't someone she knew. Spencer watches Amanda as the woman's on the stand and visits her as the day comes to an end.
"Dr. Reid." She says.
"You seemed upset when Julie came on the stand."
She stares at him blankly.
"She's still fighting for Adam, even after what you did to her. Doesn't that mean something?"
"Julie liked Adam." She says and rolls her eyes. "Of course, she'd fight for him."
"But Adam didn't like Julie, did he? Adam… adam liked me."
Amanda glares. "Adam didn't like you."
"He did. He was scared of Morgan, but he trusted me. He talked with me."
"He did not like you. He liked Julie. They even kissed." She tells him. "Aaron screwed that up, though." She mutters.
"Aaron screwed it up?"
"He pushed through, told Julie he was gay. But Adam isn't gay."
Spencer sits back. "How do you know?" He asks.
"I just know! He kissed Julie! You've kissed women. You're not gay."
Spencer opens his mouth before he closes it. Amanda stares at him and Spencer clears his throat. "Just because Adam kissed her, didn't mean he liked it." He says after a moment.
Amanda rolls her eyes. "He liked it."
Spencer looks at his fingernails. "It's easy to pretend."
Amanda glares at him.
Criminal Minds || Parts of You
He testifies as best as he knows how. He rambles too much, about the psychology and the personality changes, but he gets through it. He doesn't know if he affects the jury or not, but he hopes he does. He's the last witness and the judge sets a time for the closing statements for the next day. Spencer doesn't go visit Amanda that afternoon. He's sure that the woman probably wouldn't even see him. Instead, he sits in his hotel room, his mind racing.
He thinks about the two women he's kissed in his life. Lila Archer, who had pushed herself onto him into the pool. She had been a great kisser and he'd be lying if he hadn't been flattered at the fact that she was interested in him. She was a movie star, beautiful and talented. Had he felt anything though in the kisses? Maybe, it was hard to tell. It was so fast and then, he had told her about her agent. That had been the end of anything that could have happened. Of course, then, he saved her life and he had stayed the night with her - only talking of course. They were friends now, meeting when she was in town or if he had a case in L.A. Nothing romantic ever happened between them again.
And then the kiss with JJ? He hadn't felt anything, even with the fact they had been in bed together, her body pressed against him. There should have been something. He closes his eyes and imagines it again, trying to force his body to react. It doesn't work.
He sighs, his mind moving back to the conversation with Garcia. Sexuality was fluid, she had told him. He didn't have to label himself. Maybe he just didn't find Lila Archer or JJ attractive in that way. He snorts. If he didn't find those two women sexually attractive, then he must be gay. Lila was a model and JJ, well.. JJ was JJ! He sighs, frustrated. He couldn't not label himself. His mind didn't work like that. Every equation had an answer. This had an answer and he needed to find it, but why? Why did it matter? Sexuality and romantic relationships hadn't been important to him before. Those things weren't important to him, so why was this such an issue at all. He was focused on his job, his education. He was too busy to be in a relationship regardless of what the gender was of the other person. Hotch's marriage had failed because of the job. Emily and Morgan both couldn't make a relationship work because of their hours, not that Morgan have ever really tried regardless. The only people who had relationships that were stable was Garcia and JJ and according to Emily, JJ's relationship wasn't doing so well either. He should just let it go. It didn't matter.
He sighed. It did matter.
Criminal Minds || Parts of You
He sits, waiting. He hadn't slept the night before again. He had eventually stopped thinking about his own sexuality by pushing it out of his head and focusing on case files he had brought back from home. He had worked all night.
"You look tired. Let me take you to bed." He hears and looks up.
"Aaron?"
The man grins. "In the flesh. Guess you made an impression on Little A."
"Little A?"
"Adam." Aaron corrects. "Your little "It's easy to pretend" speech gave our little boy some hope." He teases and Spencer feels himself flush.
"I… I'm sorry?" Spencer looks over at Dr. Reynolds.
Aaron closes his eyes and when he opens them again, he glares.
"I don't want to see you! Get out of here!"
"Amanda?"
"You'll never get to Adam!"
She closes her eyes and when they open again, she shakes her head. Spencer turns to Dr. Reynolds, who's watching intensely.
"What's going on?" He asks her.
"Stupid bitch." Amanda - Aaron? - mutters. "Always trying to rule the system."
"The system?" Spencer repeats, still confused.
"That's what the whole personality force is called. " Dr. Reynolds says, coming forward, watching Aaron. "How long have you been around, Aaron?"
Spencer watches the doctor, before looking back at Aaron who's rubbing his temple.
"Since A was 13."
"With puberty." Dr. Reynolds says, writing it down. "When Adam started to create his sexuality."
Aaron grins. "I'm the reason, A gets laid. Amanda'd never let my boy have any fun. No sex until marriage. Marriage is only between a man and women. Blah, Blah-"
"How many other alters are there? Are they all so co-conscious?" Dr. Reynolds cuts him off.
"Uh, fuck, I don't know. I know that Adam doesn't retain anything that Amanda does. He knows what I do. I know what he does. I don't retain what Amanda does, either. I hear her inside and she's always bitching, but what she does when she has the body, I don't know. Kyle… Kyle's never been out, so I don't know if we would know what he does. He's kinda just a voice that tells us what to do. He's the one who's been spewing your psycho bullshit to us, filling us in about the Sexy doc here." Aaron winks at Spencer, who flushes.
"Do you think you could keep the body from Amanda?"
Aaron shrugs. "Amanda's pretty strong. She's fighting to get out, but as long as you keep the pretty boy in front of me, I could try." He grins again. Dr. Reynolds looks at Spencer, who shrugs, a little shocked at everything that's going on.
"We can do that, right? Dr. Reid, you're willing to talk with Aaron a little longer?"
Spencer stares at the man. He really didn't want to. Aaron made him uncomfortable with his over-the-top flirting and the outright staring. He was trying not to think of his sexuality and with Aaron right there, flirting with him, it was difficult. But, he knew that this was good for Adam. This was a step in the right direction. He nods and Aaron grins largely.
"You know a kiss might get me to stay a little longer." He leans into Spencer who tenses automatically. Aaron chuckles and pats the man's cheek.
"Oh, I'm just teasing, you pretty little thing. Don't look so scared. Although, fear does look good on you." He winks.
Criminal Minds || Parts of You
Dr. Reynolds walks as she talks with Spencer.
"This could be a major break in your trial! If Aaron is able to continue to keep consciousness, Mr. Greggors could put him on the stand."
"The prosecution has already rested." Spencer says.
Dr. Reynolds frowns, making her way into her office. "Right, right. That's a shame. But still! This is such a great step! Getting Aaron out is one step closer to getting to Adam."
"But how long will Aaron stay out?"
She leans against her desk. "It's undetermined. Amanda has become the main personality and has kept that for months. For their to be a switch in the main personality, it would take a lot of challenge from the other alters. Adam being faced with the fact that he could have killed people during your case probably pushed him into himself, giving Amanda full access to become the main personality."
"And my…conversation with her pushed her into herself?" He asked, confused.
"No, but like Aaron said, your words sparked something in Adam, the host personality, and maybe he helped push Aaron enough to challenge for the main personality."
"Well why can't Adam push through to be the main personality again?" He asks, not understanding why the system would make Aaron the main.
"Because Adam is so broken, he can't handle fighting against Amanda. Aaron seems strong and confident enough to be able with Kyle and Adam behind him to be the most reasonable main. Aaron was probably the main during Adam's teen years. He's probably the one who pushed Adam to get emancipated and such. Once, Adam was free of the foster care system and his abuser, Aaron could have relinquished full control, only coming out when Adam was sexually attracted to someone."
"Until Amanda." Spencer says, sitting down, following the woman's thoughts.
"Yes! Amanda is the protector. She would only come out if the system was in danger until becoming the main."
"So as long as Aaron stays safe, he should be able to keep a hold of the main personality?"
Dr Reynolds shrugs. "It's hard to tell. Amanda now feels like Adam is no longer safe at all. She feels that she is the only way to keep Adam safe. She might continue to fight Aaron for control. It all depends how strong Aaron is."
"But Aaron's just the sexual side of Adam, right? How strong can he be?"
"We'll just have to wait and see."