Chapter 2: 西瓜修腳 (Watermelon Pedicure)
Scene 1: 臭腳趾果醬 (Stinky Toe Jam)
Dr. Yang and Izzie heave all of the stuff up the stairs Izzie has bought at the market, they enter Dr. Yang's apartment, and Dr. Bailey is dancing to "It's Too Late to Turn Back Now" on the coffee table, still three sheets to the wind. Dr. Yang hurls 50 lbs of watermelon on the chair, overwrought and confused.
Dr. Yang: What the hell are you doing?
Dr. Bailey: I's practicing my dance moves. Look at this!
Dr. Bailey starts jumping, doing "the bird", making the legs of the coffee table creak and wobble.
Dr. Yang: Get the hell of my coffee table. Here! Drink some more! Here! You can have some more watermelon tequila that Izzie got.
Dr. Bailey: Hell yeah! Hook me up my my Chinese sister. We's all the colors of the rainbow up in here tonight. We got black, yellow, and trash white, I mean white trash, I mean white (giggles)! I's feeling so good. So good. Whooooo!
Izzie: I wanna join in. Turn it up Dr. Bailey!
Dr. Bailey turns up the volume of the stereo, and Izzie jumps up onto the coffee table with Dr. Bailey, whirling around on the coffee table.
Dr. Yang: Wow...it's a surprise that people really take us for doctors. Honestly, would you want us as doctors? We act like 13 year old girls on Ex...
Dr. Bailey: No problem with me. I like to take that shit when I eat some Churches chicken. I be seeing colors and once, I thought the chicken came alive. Too bad I don't have none now! Come on Izzie, shake yo'thang!
Izzie: I'm going! I'm going! It's my birthday! I like watermelon!
Dr. Bailey: Have you ever had a spark plug changed in Detroit? Best mechanics in the world. Once, in college, we was taking a road trip, and our car stopped over the bridge. There was a mechanic behind us that came up and did something with the spark plug. All I's saying is he can change my sparkplug any night, baby! He was fine.
Izzie: Let's paint each other's toe nails! Christina, go cut us some watermelon and do what your people know how to do best...you know...doing nails!
Dr. Yang: Fu-Oh, never mind. Sure! I'll be proud to go cut up some watermelon. You girls carry on with the dancing and the drinking, then we'll have a pedicure party!
Dr. Yang exits into the kitchen, with a bitchy smile on her face.
Dr. Yang: Don't worry, Christina. Everything will take its course in due time.
Dr. Yang emerges from the kitchen with sliced watermelon and three bottles of nail polish in her hands.
Dr. Yang: Sit down! Sit down now!
Dr. Bailey and Izzie stagger down to sit on the sofa, taking off their shoes, resting their feet on the end of the coffee table.
Dr. Yang: Dang Dr. Bailey! You got more corns than a Kansas farmer.
Dr. Bailey: I's works hard at doctoring. I gotta walk all over the hell of a big hospital, so I don't have no time to do nothing with them toe nails.
Dr. Yang: Still, they stink really bad. There's green fungus on your left big toe too!
Dr. Bailey: Oh, shut up! Don't smell as bad as this place. Stinks in here like Paris Hilton's coochy crack.
Izzie: How about my feet?
Dr. Yang: They're...beautiful, I guess.
Izzie: Thanks! I know they are. They're my best asset. I even bleach my toe hair, see!
Dr. Yang: Yeah. We should change your name to "Dr. Tang." Hehehehehe.
Dr. Bailey: You really isn't funny. Don't quit yo' day job.
Izzie: Go boil us some eggs Christina! I want some boiled eggs while you paint our toe nails!
Dr. Yang: (sighs).