Greetings!
Here is the second chapter to this strange story that still won't leave my head. You'll have to forgive the long chapters. I tend to get carried away, so you all get long chapters. Some people don't like having to read so much, but I'm hoping that some do.
Reviews: I've replied to all signed reviews through the site's reply feature. I replied to anonymous reviews on my website. You can find a link to it on my bio. Thank you so much to those of you that took the time to leave a review. It's very encouraging, especially since this is my first story in this fandom. It's good to know that I'm doing something right.
Enjoy the chapter!
&&&& (does anyone happen to know why the horizontal lines no longer work when editing a chapter?)
Chapter 2: Hope is a Waking Dream
"Hi Sasuke."
The greeting hung in the air for a couple of minutes and Sakura thought that he wasn't going to return it or acknowledge that she had even said anything. Sasuke was instead starting intently at Naruto as if nothing else existed for the young man. Naruto returned the stare just as intently. If Sakura hadn't known better, she would have said that they were communicating through telepathy.
Finally, Sasuke looked away from Naruto.
"Hello, Sakura," he said and gave her his full attention.
His voice was a shock to her, because it had been a long time since she'd heard it without the taint of Orochimaru's voice. It was deeper than when he'd left and Sakura was surprised to find that his voice no longer had the same effect on her that it once had. The crush she'd had on Sasuke had been long forgotten. Instead, he'd become a friend to her, someone she missed and needed to have in her life. Now that he was back, it felt as if a piece of her heart had finally been returned to her.
Sasuke addressed her formally, as he always had, and she had to resist the urge to run up to him and give him a hug. Sasuke hadn't been a very tactile person when he was twelve and Sakura doubted that he'd become one during his time with Orochimaru. His stare was still as intense as it always had been and he held himself rigid, shoulders tense, with his arms at his sides and his hands clenched into fists. Sakura smiled brightly at him, but he did not return the smile.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"I'm fine," he replied.
"Are you sure?" Naruto asked, speaking up for the first time. "You were pretty badly injured when we got back. Sakura is a very skilled medical ninja. She could give you a quick check up."
Sasuke shook his head. "That's not necessary, Naruto. I feel fine."
The three of them stood there, not a half meter from each other, but it felt as if a deep chasm was separating her and Naruto from Sasuke. She didn't know what to say and Naruto, who could normally be counted on to make conversation in any situation, was not saying a word. Sasuke, for his part, seemed only marginally interested in them, as one would marginally be interested in a stranger they ran into on the street. There was no relief or happiness in his eyes, and Sakura wondered whether he even wanted to be here.
Unlike the rest of the village, she and Naruto had never written Sasuke off. They'd been hurt that he had chosen power and his need for revenge over their friendship, but at the same time, they'd also realized that he had not been himself. Getting him back was never a question for them, regardless of everyone else's opinions on the matter. When she'd found out that they'd been too late to stop Orochimaru from transferring bodies, she'd been heartbroken. It was a blow, because they'd been unable to do anything in the three years they'd had to find Sasuke and bring him back. It was a personal failure unlike anything else she had ever experienced and it had left her crippled for a long time.
Naruto had taken the news much worse than she had. He'd left the village for a year afterwards to train with Jiraiya, leaving her alone to deal with the aftermath of their failure. Even when he'd returned, he hadn't been the same. She saw him rarely, and when she tried to talk to him, he'd smile and nod and pretend that everything was okay, when she could clearly tell that he was lying. He was gone from the village a lot then too, because Tsunade would assign him solo missions that lasted weeks, even months. When he was back in the village, he retreated to his own apartment or to Jiraiya's or Iruka's.
The attack on Konoha had brought them together once again. They'd had to face Sasuke for the first time since Orochimaru had claimed his body and they had almost lost Kakashi and Naruto in the ensuing battle. The village had managed a narrow victory, but at the loss of countless of excellent and experienced ninja. Others like Asuma, Iruka, Shikamaru, and Neji had been left near death. Iruka's brush with death had rattled Naruto, and Sakura could not recall ever seeing her former teammate so helpless and lost. Fortunately, all four had pulled through and recovered fully.
Genin had become chunin and chunin had become jounin in the aftermath of the battle. Sakura herself had earned her promotion due to her actions during the battle. Naruto's promotion had come a bit later, but was no less deserved. Orochimaru's name had never been so hated, so cursed, and it killed Sakura that now the villagers had Sasuke's face to associate with the death and destruction that accompanied the attack.
Seeing Sasuke had brought Sakura and Naruto together again and after Naruto recovered, they'd both vowed to try again to go after Sasuke. The stakes were much higher, and they'd be paying a much steeper price for disobeying the Hokage's orders, but they were willing to take the risk. Looking at Sasuke now only confirmed to her that it had all been worth it.
Jiraiya, who had retreated to the background, but was no doubt paying attention to every word, cleared his throat.
"He doesn't remember what happened."
"What?" Naruto exclaimed.
He clapped a hand over his mouth as if realizing that he'd said something wrong, but Sakura couldn't think of what it could be. His eyes traveled to Jiraiya, then Sakura, before they settled on Sasuke.
Sasuke's fingers clenched and unclenched, and Sakura couldn't tell whether it was due to nervousness or something else. Now that she thought about it, she realized that Sasuke was being very tactile. He had moved to stand next to a wall, and the fingers of his left hand would occasionally brush the surface of the wall. When she'd first walked in, he'd been brushing his hands down the legs of the sweatpants he wore. On anyone else, it would have looked like the person was fidgeting, but Sakura had never known Sasuke to fidget.
"What do you remember, Sasuke?" Sakura asked.
"Not much, just waking up here. Needless to say, I never thought I'd be back."
His tone was cold, detached, as if he could care less whether he was here or back in Oto. Sakura didn't understand why he was being so cold. Wasn't he glad to be with them? They'd had six years of separation and they had all changed. Could he have changed so much that she and Naruto had completely misjudged him and his desire to return?
"So what do you think of being back?" Naruto asked.
Sasuke turned to the blonde, and the look on his face made Sakura think of Orochimaru.
"There's not much to say. It's Konoha."
Sakura's jaw dropped at the cold indifference in the statement. Naruto's jaw audibly shut and when she turned to him, she could see the muscles in his jaw working. The blonde was never at a loss for words, and right now seemed no different. The only difference was that Naruto was forcing himself not to say whatever had come to mind.
"How can you say that, Sasuke?" Sakura asked and took a few steps closer to him.
Jiraiya was suddenly beside her. She'd forgotten about the sannin and his appearance made her jump slightly.
"I'll leave you kids to your reunion," he said. "I'm going to go get the Hokage so she can have her chat with Sasuke."
He was gone before either could say anything. The three teenagers stood in uncomfortable silence, until Naruto finally spoke up.
"I'm hungry. The Hokage made me skip breakfast, so how about I make us something to eat?"
"Sure, that'll be great!" Sakura replied with cheerfulness that she did not feel.
Naruto turned to her and gave her a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Okay," was all Sasuke said.
While Naruto went into the kitchen to make whatever he was going to make, Sakura motioned for Sasuke to take a seat. He sat on one end of the couch, while Sakura chose the other end. Again, she noticed that his hand was absently running his fingers over the fabric of the couch.
"Do you feel any dizziness or drain in chakra?" Sakura finally asked, keeping her voice as neutral as she could and trying not to think about the fact that Sasuke didn't want to be with them. "We weren't sure how much of it the seal would take and I just want to make sure that you're okay."
Sasuke frowned momentarily as he thought about what he'd been asked. "There is no dizziness and my chakra levels seem to be where they have always been," he answered. "I don't feel any effects from the seal."
Sakura didn't believe him, not entirely anyway. He was hiding something, but she couldn't pinpoint what it was. He didn't look ill and he wasn't pale or running a fever, but he had to be feeling some adverse effects. Then again, the kind of effects Sasuke would be feeling after being separated from Orochimaru he more than likely would not share with anyone.
"Are your senses okay?"
Sasuke turned to her, confusion clear on his face. "Why do you ask that?"
His voice, which had previously held no emotion at all, now held a hint of suspicion.
"You keep touching everything and your fingers are twitching. I was just wondering if your senses were operating normally or if the seal had done something to them."
Sasuke looked at the hand that had been tracing the fabric of the couch as if seeing it for the first time. He put his hands in his lap, and Sakura could tell that he was doing his best not to clench them into fists.
"Tell me what's wrong, Sasuke. I can help."
Sasuke shook his head and let it drop slightly, so that his hair covered his face. All Sakura had a view of now was long, silky hair and tense shoulders. The silence stretched out for so long that Sakura thought he wasn't going to reply. When he did, his voice was barely audible.
"It's been a while since I've been able to touch anything," he said, for the first time sounding like the Sasuke she used to know and not the detached person he'd been since she'd walked into the room.
Sakura's eyes filled with tears at the wistful tone in Sasuke's voice and she knew that it had taken a lot for him to admit that much to her. She was about to reassure him, to tell him that he didn't have to worry about that anymore, but he beat her to it.
"My senses are fine, Sakura, It's just been a while since I've been in control of them."
He did clench his hands into fists then and Sakura reached out and took one of them in both of her hands. Sasuke immediately tried to pull away, but Sakura wouldn't release the hand. He raised his head, mouth open to tell her to let go, but something in her eyes must have gotten to him, because he didn't say a word and he stopped fighting her hold.
"You're not alone, Sasuke. You never were. We were always here for you, with you; it was just a matter of you letting us in."
Sasuke's jaw clenched and he jerked his hand out of Sakura's grasp. He stood up and paced the small space that was Naruto's living room.
"You have no idea," Sasuke finally said.
He turned to face her, and while his face was calm, his body language said otherwise. A medical ninja of her caliber would not miss the speed of his heart, the sweat on his hands or the slight, almost unnoticeable, trembling of his body. Sasuke was like a coiled snake, ready to pounce on anything he perceived as a threat.
"Do you have any idea of what you brought back?" he asked.
Sakura thought that he was asking a rhetorical question, but the expectant look on his face told her that he wanted an answer. She didn't have to think very long to give it.
"We brought back our friend," she said.
"That's where you're wrong," Sasuke replied and continued his pacing.
Sakura felt his chakra spiking and she felt Naruto's doing the same in the other room. Her own rose to match and if the levels got any higher than they were now, it would draw the ANBU into the room, and that would be the worst possible thing right now.
"I'm not the person that I was six years ago. You didn't bring back your friend; you just brought back a hollow shell."
Sakura's tears spilled down her cheeks and she was momentarily left speechless at the venom in Sasuke's voice. The saddest part of it was that the venom was not directed at her or at Naruto, but at himself.
"If you're not our friend, then who are you, an impostor?" Naruto asked.
Both Sakura and Sasuke turned to look at the blonde, who stood at the threshold to the small kitchen area. He was wearing a white apron with a yellow smiley face printed on it and Sakura almost laughed at the absurdity of it all.
"You look like Sasuke and you sound like Sasuke, to me that says that you are Sasuke," Naruto added.
"We've all changed," Sakura added, "we're not what we used to be."
"You didn't spend the last three years murdering countless people," Sasuke insisted. "You don't have all that blood on your hands."
"We're ninjas," Sakura said. "We all have blood on our hands. Besides, you didn't spend the last three years murdering people, Orochimaru did."
"Yeah," Naruto added. "If there's anyone that has blood on their hands, it's me," he said, his voice suddenly subdued. "I killed everyone in Oto."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the admission and Sakura lowered her head in guilt. She should have gone with him; she should share some of the responsibility for what he'd had to do. When she raised her head, Sasuke's eyes were wide.
"Everyone?" he asked.
Naruto nodded. His blue eyes were shadowed and he looked away from both of them.
"They were in the way," was all he said.
Silence descended over them like a shroud. Naruto went back to cooking and Sasuke retook his seat on the couch. When he looked at Sakura, she could clearly see the disbelief on his face.
"He went by himself?" Sasuke asked in a much softer, much calmer tone. "Why?"
Sakura took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"We knew that there was a large possibility that we would fail and would end up captured, tortured, and killed. That's why Naruto insisted that he go alone. I would have been the best choice to perform the seal, but he didn't want to risk my capture so he learned to do it himself. The plan was that if he was captured, he would kill himself in a way that would destroy his body so Oto would have no reason to attack Konoha in retaliation. If he succeeded, we'd have you back. If we failed, he would pay the price alone."
Sakura broke off as more tears flowed down her cheeks.
"Why, Sakura?" Sasuke asked. "Why would you do this? I left the village of my own free will. I turned my back on all of you, especially you when you tried to get me to stay. Why would you bother?"
Sakura clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking and the look of confusion on Sasuke's face served to bring more tears. Why didn't he see how important he was to them? Why couldn't he understand why they'd risk everything they had to bring him back?
"You're our friend, Sasuke," Naruto, who'd come into the room, answered for Sakura. "I told you at the Valley of the End that I'd bring you back, even if I had to break every bone in your body to do it. It took me a little longer than expected, and I didn't have to break every bone in your body, but I kept my promise."
"We missed you," Sakura added. "It's just not the same without you."
Sasuke stared from one to the other, and Sakura was sure that he was trying to put together what they'd said and whatever was going through his head. She could still feel his anxiousness, but it was not as pronounced as it had been only moments before. He was still tense, but she didn't think he would strike at the next available target.
"Breakfast, or rather lunch, is ready," Naruto said. "We should eat before it gets cold."
&&&&
"So?"
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow.
"So what?"
Tsunade sighed. "You know what I'm talking about, Jiraiya."
Jiraiya chose to ignore his long time friend in favor of looking at a pair of young ladies that were walking on the street ahead of them. He could feel Tsunade's eyes on him, but chose to let her stew for a moment longer. His view of the lovely ladies was suddenly replaced by the stars caused by Tsunade's fist colliding with the back of his head.
"Watch it, woman, you're going to crack my skull."
"I doubt that," she replied. "I don't think anything can crack that thick head of yours. Now what do you think?"
Dropping all pretenses, Jiraiya sighed again. He picked up the pace a little bit so that they could distance themselves from the crowd. Not that they'd have to worry about it very much, since everyone who saw Tsunade bowed, muttered a respectful "Hokage" and then moved out of the way. He didn't want to take any chances, though and waited until they were on the street that led to Naruto's apartment to speak.
"He's scared," Jiraiya said. "He's trying very hard to cover it, but he's terrified."
Tsunade thought over what he'd said for a long while before she replied.
"So you don't think it's an act? You don't think Orochimaru is pretending to be Sasuke just to get under our skin?"
"Orochimaru isn't that good at pretending he's weak," Jiraiya added, bitterness in his voice. "You know how vain he is. If we had him in Naruto's apartment instead of Sasuke, he would have attacked as soon as he'd woken up, not looked around Naruto's bedroom as if he were afraid that if he blinked it would disappear."
Tsunade stopped her brisk walk and turned to Jiraiya. "What do you mean?"
"He's suspicious," Jiraiya elaborated. "He's expecting us to hurt him. Well, not us, exactly. I have a feeling that he thinks this is all a trick Orochimaru came up with to either test him or torture him. I can't read Sasuke as well as I can read Naruto, but that's my gut feeling."
"Why would he think that?"
"Think about it. Orochimaru was probably not happy to find out that the kid's mind survived the body transfer. If you were Orochimaru, how would you torture Sasuke? I don't claim to understand how his forbidden technique works, but if you could torture the person you've subjugated, what better way would there be than to show him memories of his home, a home he would never return to?"
"Uchiha might not have wanted to come home, Jiraiya. We can't operate from the assumption that he was an unwilling participant in all of this. Uchiha Sasuke did leave this village voluntarily."
Jiraiya examined the stern set to Tsunade's face and wondered if she was playing devil's advocate because, as Hokage, it was her job to consider both sides, or because she really did believe that Sasuke had been a willing participant. Tsunade was not cold hearted, as much as she liked people to think that she could be. She was a kind, decent woman, who sometimes felt a little too much and got a little too attached. That could be part of the issue now.
"Sasuke's defection put Naruto through hell. Is that why you're so angry with him?"
"He's a traitor, Jiraiya! How else do you expect me to treat him? I gave orders to have him killed on sight, remember? Orders that Naruto and Sakura both chose to ignore."
Jiraiya resumed their walk towards the mostly deserted part of the village. Tsunade followed him shortly after.
"Would you have given the order to kill him on sight if he'd simply been Uchiha Sasuke, missing nin?"
Tsunade did not immediately reply and Jiraiya didn't turn around to see her face as she pondered the question. She would give him an answer when she was ready.
"No," she finally said. "Naruto would have defected himself to keep us from killing Uchiha."
Jiraiya smiled even though Tsunade couldn't see him. She could pretend all she wanted that the blonde ninja didn't mean anything to her, but he knew better. Naruto had gotten away with things that most ninjas would have been jailed or executed for. Tsunade still liked to pretend that she didn't care, even though she smiled every time she saw that damned necklace on him.
"Orochimaru is no longer an issue, Tsunade. Talk to the kid and make you own decision."
Naruto's apartment came into view and without making sure that she actually went inside, Jiraiya disappeared.
&&&&
"Know it all," Tsunade murmured as the white haired sannin left.
She stood just outside of the building Naruto lived in and took a deep breath. Having Jiraiya's opinion meant a great deal, because she knew he wouldn't be biased. He had no reason, other than Naruto, to give a damn about Uchiha one way or another, so he had no reason to lie. Naruto and Sakura were going to be a little more biased, which is why she'd left Uchiha as Jiraiya's charge. Even Kakashi would be biased when he returned. She wasn't sure if she was looking forward to telling him the news.
Leave it to Naruto to bring even more trouble to her doorstep. When was that kid going to learn to listen to his superiors and do as he was told? She was still tempted to bust him down, maybe to chunin instead of genin, but she didn't think she'd have the heart to. Orochimaru had never meant enough to her for her to sacrifice anything for him. If it had been Jiraiya that had defected, however, would she have disobeyed Sarutobi's orders and gone after him anyway? She was glad she hadn't had to find out.
She made her way up the rusty steps and knocked on the door to the apartment. She had asked Naruto to move to a safer, and more populated, part of town, but he'd refused every single time. He made more than enough money now to afford a better place, but he said he wanted to be away from the prying eyes of the village. She could understand that, even though the villagers didn't hate him as they once did. He's saved their collective behinds one too many times to leave any doubts about his loyalty in their minds. Bringing back Uchiha, however, was going to put that to the test. Tsunade had a feeling that the villagers were going to be only too happy to have another target for their bigotry, anger, and hatred.
"Since when do you knock," Naruto said as he opened the door. "We felt both you and Jiraiya standing out there for quite a while and we were beginning to wonder what you were doing," he added, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
She smacked him upside the head hard enough to make him stumble into the apartment.
"Watch your mouth, brat. You're in enough trouble already.
She entered the apartment to a sight that, under any other circumstances, would have made her smile.
Sakura and Uchiha were seated around the small table in the kitchen, which held various dishes of rice, steamed vegetables, and steamed fish. The smell alone made her stomach growl and she realized that she'd been so busy she'd forgotten her own lunch.
"Join us for lunch, Hokage-sama," Sakura said from the table.
"Yeah, it sounds like you need it," Naruto added.
Tsunade had come to interrogate, and examine, Uchiha, not for a visit. However, this would give her the opportunity to watch him and see how he related to his former teammates. You could see more from a person by the way he or she performed mundane tasks than by talking to them and Naruto had just given her the perfect opportunity to observe Uchiha. She looked right at Sasuke, to see if he would say anything, but he remained silent. He met her gaze and held it. She couldn't see much in his eyes from this distance, but she didn't sense malice or murderous intent from him. She sensed his uncertainty, and his chakra tickled her skin like a soft breeze, but other than that, it was as if she were looking at a normal, eighteen year old kid, not one who had, until recently, been host to one of the most sinister human beings in history.
"I think I will join you," Tsunade said with somewhat forced cheer and made her way to the table.
Sakura got up to get a plate and a cup of tea for her and Tsunade deliberately took Sakura's place beside Sasuke. Sakura didn't say anything, simply moved her plate to the only empty seat on the other side of Naruto. They ate in silence, which suited Tsunade just fine.
Sakura was jumpy and kept glancing at her every once in a while. The girl's guilt was very apparent, and Tsunade almost felt guilty for being so hard on her in her office earlier. The guilt diminished, however, when she remembered just what Sakura had done. Sneaking those scrolls out of the library, where they could have been lost or seen by anyone else, had been incredibly foolish, not to mention dangerous. Sakura herself had no business looking at those scrolls and Tsunade wasn't about to let her student forget that.
Naruto seemed tired, and Tsunade had to wonder if the teenager was getting any sleep. He smiled when he caught her looking at him, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. He wasn't eating much of what he had on his plate, but was doing a very good job of making the rice look like the Hokage Mountain.
Uchiha was stiff beside her. His food was untouched on his plate, even though he was holding a pair of chopsticks. He was looking down at his food, but every now and then, she caught him glancing at her through the curtain of his long hair. He would glance at Sakura and Naruto as well, and Jiraiya's words from earlier re-played in her mind. The hand that was not holding the chopsticks was in Uchiha's lap and Tsunade could see the fingers twitch like hers sometimes did when she wanted a weapon to hold but didn't have one available. She didn't sense malice in him, so if he wanted a weapon, it was to protect himself from them.
"I don't think we're going to be eating anymore," Naruto suddenly said and gestured at their food, which sat mainly untouched. "Should we get down to business?"
Tsunade sighed. Leave it to the blonde to get right to the point.
"Could you and Sakura leave?" Tsunade asked.
"Huh?" Naruto said. "This is my apartment."
"Yes, and I'm your superior. You will do ask I ask, for once," she added.
Naruto and Sakura both looked appropriately guilty at that.
"Fine," Naruto said. "I'm going to walk Sakura home."
Sakura looked like she wanted to say something, but thought better of it. They left the dishes on the table and quickly made their way out the door, leaving just the two of them.
"Could you come into the living room?" she asked.
Uchiha nodded. As he got up from his chair, his hair fell forward and hid his features. For a split second, he looked like Orochimaru when he'd been a teenager and she shuddered at the memory. She hoped Uchiha had plans to cut his hair sometime soon.
"How much trouble are they in?" Uchiha asked as he took a seat on the couch.
"They're in a lot of trouble," Tsunade replied. "They broke every conceivable rule to do what they did and they're going to be punished for it." Tsunade paused to gauge his reaction and was surprised to find a little guilt in his eyes. "For now, they've been suspended and I'm seriously considering reducing their rank a level or two. I'm not sure what the council is going to do with them, or what they're going to want to do with you."
Uchiha nodded once again. His face was unreadable, and she had to grit her teeth to keep from yelling at him to show some emotion. Naruto was an open book, to her at least, and, to an extent, so was Sakura. Hell, so was almost everyone else she was surrounded by. Uchiha had perfected the mask he wore, however, and, with the exception of a few fleeting seconds, she could read nothing on his face. It was a good thing that she was as good as she was, however. There was nothing Uchiha could hide from her.
"I don't have to tell you how this village treats missing nins, do I?"
Uchiha shook his head.
"Good, then you know what would normally be done to you, especially considering that up until a week ago, you were Orochimaru."
"I understand," Uchiha said in a perfectly calm and level tone. "It is within your right to kill me if you so desire."
Tsunade took a breath and counted to ten. He was infuriating, to say the least. It didn't help that he had the same attitude of superiority that Orochimaru had. She was tempted to shake him until he showed some emotion, but instead settled for sitting next to him so that their faces were level with each other.
"Do you want to die?"
Indecision flashed over his eyes so fast that Tsunade almost missed it. Even if she had, the spike in his chakra was impossible to miss.
"It doesn't matter," he finally said. "If you want to kill me, you will."
"It matters to me. Do you want me to kill you?"
The mask suddenly dropped from Uchiha's face as if invisible strings had been cut. He released the breath he had been holding and his shoulders slumped slightly. The eyes that had previously told her nothing now told her that he was confused and tired of trying to guess what her motives were. For the first time since she'd walked into the apartment, he looked like the person he was supposed to be, not what Orochimaru had made him into. Sympathy pulled at her heart despite her best efforts to cover it with anger and hatred. Without conscious thought, she put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.
"I'm real, Sasuke," she said. "I'm not going to disappear."
His eyes widened slightly and he didn't bother to hide his surprise at having his thoughts voiced. After staring at her for a long moment, he spoke.
"I'm beginning to believe that none of you are going to go away and be replaced by that bastard's sadistic laughter," he finally said, his voice no louder than a whisper.
He looked away from her and hid behind the curtain of his hair once again. She removed the hand from his shoulder after giving it another slight squeeze. She thought that he'd said everything he had to say, but he surprised her once again.
"I don't know what to do," he said.
Tsunade's throat constricted and tears threatened to fill her eyes, but she fought them off.
"Start by answering the question: do you want to die?"
He thought about it for a long moment, and when the answer came, there was no hesitation in his voice
"No. I don't want to die."
&&&&
"That could have gone worse," Sakura said.
They were seated on the porch of Sakura's small house, enjoying the afternoon breeze.
"Yes, it could have," Naruto replied. "It can still get out of control, though. You know better than anyone how Tsunade gets when she feels betrayed."
"Yes, I know. Ninjas who betray their village are below scum in her eyes, and she hates Sasuke even more because of Orochimaru."
Naruto winced at the certainty in Sakura's voice, even though what she was saying was nothing new to him. She knew Tsunade better than he did, and he was sure that Sakura's insistence in Sasuke's return was a very sore point between the two women. It was a sore point between Tsunade and Naruto as well. Tsunade had tried to convince him, time and time again, that he was wasting his time and was better off moving on and forgetting that Sasuke ever existed. The subject inevitably caused an argument, and it got to the point that Naruto never mentioned it again. He was sure that Tsunade had thought he'd finally given up on the idea, which explained why she'd been seething when they'd talked to her after they'd brought Sasuke back.
Tsunade wasn't the only one against the idea of Sasuke returning. Oto's attempt to invade Konoha a year and a half ago had sealed Sasuke's fate in the eyes of the villagers. Sasuke's face was the one that they now associated with Orochimaru, and being the small minded and judgmental people that they were, they hadn't bothered to stop and think that Sasuke was not the one giving the orders. Since that narrow victory, Sakura and Naruto had been ostracized even more for their loyalty to the renegade Uchiha; even by a few of the people they'd called friends. The scorn had hurt Sakura deeply and she'd become a much more reserved and private person. Unlike Sakura, however, Naruto was used to the village's hatred and disdain, so he let it roll off his shoulders as he had ever since he could remember.
Despite the extenuating circumstances, Sasuke was still a wanted criminal, and it was going to take a miracle to keep him from being executed for those crimes. Naruto had no doubt that Tsunade could pull off that miracle, but she had to be inclined to do so first.
"Tsunade is stubborn," Naruto finally said. "Orochimaru has always been a thorn in her side, just as he was in Jiraiya's."
Sakura looked hopeful at his words. "Jiraiya-sama seemed okay with Sasuke. I mean, I didn't sense or see any resentment or anger from him. If he can get over it, do you think Tsunade-sama can too?"
"Jiraiya is a lot more laid back than Tsunade," Naruto said. "He forgives a lot quicker than she does."
Sakura's expression crumbled and Naruto wished he could take back his words just so he didn't have to see that look of hopelessness on her face.
"Who knows," Naruto added. "Tsunade isn't unreasonable. I think she'll come around."
They sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts, until Naruto had to ask the question he'd wanted to ask since they'd left his apartment.
"What do you think of him?" Naruto asked.
"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, clearly confused.
"What do you think of Sasuke? How do you see him?"
Sakura thought about the question as she nervously chewed on a fingernail. Naruto waited patiently for her answer, even though he was eager to hear her reaction to their friend.
"I'm not an expert on all things Sasuke, even though I claimed myself to be when I was twelve," Sakura finally said, her eyes watering at the thought of the long-forgotten crush she used to have on the reclusive Uchiha. "However, from what I observed in your apartment today, I'd say that he's as close to the edge as he's going to get. I can't claim to understand what he's going through, or what being back here means to him, but he's not handling it well."
Naruto felt his insides turn cold at the statement, because he'd noticed the same thing.
"Did you feel his chakra?" Naruto asked.
Sakura nodded. "It's different."
"Sasuke's chakra became tainted when Orochimaru put the curse seal on him during the Chunin exam," Naruto said. "Now, it's not just tainted, but completely transformed. It's like feeling Orochimaru's chakra tainted with Sasuke's."
"I was surprised at how well Tsunade-sama reacted to that," Sakura said. "It's not only the chakra, though," Sakura added, returning to what they were talking about. "I've never seen Sasuke as off center as I saw him today."
"What do you mean "off center"?" Naruto asked.
"He's like a rubber band that's stretched past its limit," Sakura elaborated. "If we pull it a little further, it's going to snap and hit the closest thing to it."
Naruto didn't have a counter argument to that.
"Do you think we made a mistake, Naruto?"
Naruto's eyes widened at the question and Sakura lowered her head.
"Why do you ask?" he said.
She took a deep breath. When she raised her head to meet his eyes, she was crying.
"What if he didn't want to come back? What if Sasuke was fine where he was?"
Naruto felt anger welling up inside of him and he smothered it before he could lash out at Sakura.
"I refuse to believe that, Sakura," Naruto said, his voice low. "I refuse to believe that Sasuke would have been better off being Orochimaru's host."
"I'm not saying that he would have been better off, Naruto, I'm saying that maybe that's what Sasuke wanted."
Naruto vehemently shook his head. He got to his feet and paced the length of the small porch.
"How can you even think that, Sakura? What makes you think that Sasuke would like being Orochimaru? Even in his worst times, Sasuke was never sadistic."
"Then why isn't he happy to be here?" Sakura said as her voice rose in a higher, more desperate, pitch. "Why does he look at us as if we're ghosts, or fragments of his imagination? Why is he afraid of us?"
Naruto stopped pacing and sat down beside her. The same questions had gone through his head, and he didn't have any answers.
"I don't know, Sakura. I'm tempted to shake him until he starts talking, but I have a feeling that if I come near him, he's going to attack me," he said. "I don't know what else to do, but I refuse to believe that we made a mistake. He's better off here, with us."
Sakura nodded, but he could tell that she wasn't convinced. Weariness suddenly seeped into every fiber of his being and he felt as if were being weighed down. He rested his head on his knees and waited for the worst of it to pass.
The rustle of leaves to their right brought Naruto's head up in alarm. Sakura stiffened beside him, until they both recognized the person's chakra. A few moments later, they were greeted by the sight of a blonde woman with long hair and piercing blue eyes.
"Hi Ino," Sakura said with forced cheer as soon as Ino had stepped off the path that led to Sakura's house. "What brings you here?"
Ino looked from Naruto to Sakura, a frown on her face.
"Why do you two look so glum?" she asked. "Not that you aren't always glum these days, but it seems worse today."
Naruto chuckled and stood up. "Ah, you know Sakura," he said. "She's always worried about something, especially when Tsunade makes her work late."
Ino wasn't buying the explanation, but Naruto didn't care. She was Sakura's friend, so Sakura could deal with her.
"I need to head back home. I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura."
Sakura looked like she wanted to say something else, but wisely refrained.
"Sure, I'll see you tomorrow, Naruto."
With one last look at the two women, Naruto disappeared.
&&&&
He was finally alone.
Well, he wasn't entirely alone, because he could feel the three ANBU that were stationed around the apartment. He was alone inside of the small dwelling, however. Tsunade had finally left after he'd answered her question and she had made sure that he was healing as expected. She'd left him with a cryptic statement, which he'd thought about for a while after she'd left.
"You've just given me a lot more work, Uchiha Sasuke, but I'll be dammed if I let Orochimaru take one more victim."
The memories he had of Tsunade from Orochimaru were contradicting. The snake sannin had both admired and despised her. He had admired her because of her healing abilities, which he'd almost managed to blackmail her into using on him, and despised her because he saw her compassion as a weakness. Sasuke did not know her and didn't want Orochimaru's view of her to color his own. It was hard to separate, however, because when he saw her, he felt as if he'd known her for decades. He didn't mention that to her, though, because he had a feeling that it would just remind her, once again, who he had been and what he now carried in his mind.
Sasuke had remained on Naruto's couch long after the Hokage had left. He'd pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them to fight off the raging headache that had developed when Tsunade had walked into the apartment. He didn't doubt the fact that he was really in Konoha anymore. However, he wished that he could remember what had happened. Knowing what transpired between Orochimaru and Naruto would make his current situation seem more real, but he could no longer deny the fact that he was finally free.
Thinking about his situation brought thoughts of Naruto. Years ago, Sasuke would have been green with envy at the thought that his former teammate and rival had been able to master a technique powerful enough to defeat Orochimaru. Their fight on the rooftop was proof of how blind he'd been and how unfair he had acted towards his teammate. Sasuke hadn't been able to see past his own desire and his self-appointed purpose in life, to acknowledge that his friend had grown and changed for the better. He had left Konoha without speaking to Naruto again, having held his improvement against him.
Sasuke was a very different person than he had been when he'd left Konoha. His time training under Orochimaru, dealing with the ninja from Oto, and then his time spent with Orochimaru in his body, had taught him a different perspective on life. The things that had seemed so important to him when he was twelve were no longer of any consequence. The rivalry he and Naruto had once shared and the jealousy that he'd harbored towards the blonde ninja seemed trivial now. Sasuke no longer knew who Naruto was. The fact that the blonde ninja had been able to walk into Oto and walk out with Sasuke was proof of that.
The door to the apartment opened, but Sasuke didn't bother to raise his head, since he'd recognized Naruto's chakra when it had appeared outside. He heard a couple of loud thumps, before the spot on the couch next to him was no longer empty. Naruto shifted a moment, before finally settling into a comfortable position. The fluctuations in Naruto's chakra told Sasuke that Naruto was either upset or anxious about something. Sasuke decided to wait until the blonde told him what it was, since Naruto was usually very vocal about his feelings. When minutes passed and Naruto remained quiet, Sasuke decided to break the silence himself.
"What happened in Oto?" he asked.
The question was muffled by his knees, but the sudden rise in Naruto's chakra alerted Sasuke that the other ninja had heard the question.
"I don't remember," was all Naruto said.
Sasuke raised his head and was surprised to find Naruto staring at him. His face was absolutely unreadable, which seemed wrong to Sasuke. Naruto was loud, obnoxious, and transparent. He wasn't supposed to be composed and secretive.
"You don't remember?" Sasuke asked, his incredulity evident in his voice.
"You don't remember either," Naruto countered.
"There's a reason for my loss of memory," Sasuke said. "The Hokage seems to think that the seal screwed with my head a little while pulling Orochimaru's soul out of my body."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. He'd apparently not known about that. "There's a reason for my lack of memory too," he finally said.
Sasuke wondered about that for a moment, until it finally hit him.
"Do you mean the nine-tailed fox?" Sasuke asked.
Naruto had been leaning against the arm of the couch but straightened at Sasuke's statement. A shadow crossed his eyes and his previously expressionless face turned cold.
"You know about that," Naruto stated.
"Orochimaru knew," was all Sasuke said.
Naruto pondered the statement for a moment.
"So everything the snake knew you now know?"
"Something like that," Sasuke replied.
He hadn't told Tsunade about that either, but he didn't think that Naruto would tell her. Naruto regarded him as if waiting for Sasuke to say something about the fox and Sasuke wasn't sure if he saw hope or dread in Naruto's guarded eyes.
"Knowing about the fox explained why the villagers hated you so much," Sasuke said. "It doesn't change who you are, though."
"Would you have said the same thing if you'd found out before you went to Oto?"
Sasuke had to think about that for a moment, before deciding that Naruto deserved an honest answer.
"Probably. I don't think it would have changed how I viewed you, though. Fox or no fox, you're still you."
Naruto smiled for the first time since Sasuke had woken up. It wasn't one of Naruto's trademark grins, but a small smile that reached his eyes and made them sparkle.
"We all have our secrets," Naruto said.
"How many of the people in our class know?"
"Just Sakura," Naruto said. "There was no need to tell anyone else."
Sasuke nodded his understanding. Secrets were kept for a reason, after all.
Sasuke dropped his head back onto his knees, but kept his eyes on Naruto. Naruto was taller, leaner, and had finally stopped wearing the awful, orange jumpsuit. He was now dressed all in black: pants, shirt, vest, forehead protector, and arm guards. The necklace around his neck was very noticeable against the black fabric and Sasuke suddenly realized why that necklace was so important. It had been the first Hokage's necklace, after all. Naruto's hair was a bit longer than it had been, but he kept it away from his face with the forehead protector. Where Naruto's face had once been open and lively, it was now closed and still as stone. Sasuke wondered if, when he looked at himself in the mirror, he'd see the same thing.
"What did Tsunade say?"
"I don't think she's going to have me executed for treason," Sasuke replied. "I don't know what she is going to do, though. She said I could live in my family home for the time being. I'd have ANBU with me at all times, but other than that, I could come and go as I please."
Naruto took it all in. "Did she give you a time frame?"
"She said to give her three days to meet with the council, the rest of the ANBU, and the jounin."
"It's not going to be easy, Sasuke."
"No it's not. They have every right to hate me, you know. I left the village on my own. I turned my back on everyone here, including you and Sakura, to go off and gain enough power to kill my brother. You should have left me behind to pay for my mistakes."
"Most of the villagers would have gladly left you to suffer," Naruto finally said. "It's a good thing that Sakura and I aren't like everyone else."
"It's not going to be easy for you two either," Sasuke said. "The Hokage said that she'd suspended you and might reduce your rank."
Naruto shrugged. "Tsunade says a lot of things," he said. "You're right on one thing, though: it's not going to be easy. We were a team once, remember?"
Sasuke nodded.
"We always worked together well, though thick and thin. We have to be willing to work together on this one too, or neither one of us is going to make it unscathed. Can you do that, Sasuke?"
Sasuke didn't know what to say. He'd been alone for such a long time that he'd forgotten what it was like to trust, to rely on someone because that someone was relying on you too. He had done it once, though.
"If you can do it, I can do it," Sasuke said, a hint of his old smugness in his voice.
"Good. We have ourselves a deal, then."
&&&&
There you have it, another chapter. Next up: Kakashi finally returns; Tsunade makes Sasuke's presence known; Naruto and Sakura become Konoha's least favorite ninjas.
Oh, by the way, the chapter title is a quote by Aristotle. I thought it was very fitting. See you all next time.