Greetings! I'm a little behind on my estimated delivery date, but I'll blame work for that. I finally got some time this week to polish this thing, though I still don't think it's enough. Enjoy!
Posted: 2/22/07
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Chapter 6: Reflections
The world around him was familiar and comforting, and provided Sasuke with the only place in his mind that was truly his own. He'd made this world resemble one of the few places in Konoha he'd felt comfortable: the training ground where he and the rest of Team 7 had undergone Kakashi's bell exercise. Sasuke sat on top of the log that Naruto had ended up being tied to during the exercise and let the breeze ruffle his hair and the sound of the swaying trees distract him from what he knew was going on outside of his body.
Oto's ninja were currently invading a neighboring village, because their leader had done something Orochimaru found despicable enough to deal with personally. Sasuke had made his way to the surface of Orochimaru's mind for a moment out of sheer curiosity and, when he'd found himself looking through Sharingan eyes as people ran for their lives only to be cut down by Orochimaru, he wished that he hadn't. The sannin's swift steps indicated that he had a specific destination in mind, but he was not wasting the opportunity to kill that the terrified villagers provided him with. The pleasure and absolute glee that coursed through the body as Orochimaru killed appalled Sasuke and had driven him back to the safety and isolation of his own place.
It had taken several moments before he could tune out the screams of the villagers that still reached him, and when that had been accomplished, Sasuke found himself thinking, not for the first time, about the decision that had led him to his current situation.
"What have I done?" he asked himself out loud. "How could I have chosen this for myself?"
It was easy now, after the fact, to see where he'd gone wrong. Sasuke could think back and almost pinpoint the exact moment where he'd made the choice to follow this path. The choice hadn't been particularly hard to make, because it had seemed like the only path he could take at the time. Then again, back then, he'd only had one thing on his mind, a thing that made everything else in his life pale in comparison. Every sacrifice he'd made and every person he'd hurt for the purpose of accomplishing his goal had been an accepted casualty of his war with Itachi, even when the sacrifice had been his own body. He'd given up everything for the chance to kill his brother, but in the end, even that had been taken from him.
His regrets were many, but at the end of the day, they were just an emotion that he wasted precious energy on whenever he felt nostalgic. He couldn't undo the choices he'd made any more than he could take control of his body and go back home. Konoha was forever lost to him, which is why his sanctuary always looked like a place in his home village. He could at least make sure that those few, special places in Konoha would never fade away from his memories.
The screams that had followed Sasuke when he'd left Orochimaru's conscious mind had finally faded and Sasuke couldn't hear anything of what was going on in the outside world. That was probably a good thing, unless he wanted to add more memories of people screaming and begging for mercy to the amount he already had. Orochimaru's emotions, which tended to leak even into this place, were strangely quiet, which piqued Sasuke's attention more than the lack of screams. Orochimaru did not know the meaning of moderation, so everything he felt was strong and reached Sasuke no matter how deep in his mind he tried to hide. The handful of times Sasuke had not felt Orochimaru's emotions had ended badly.
Sasuke made his way out of his sanctuary and into Orochimaru's conscious mind once again. With a bit of extra energy, and Orochimaru's permission, Sasuke was able to see what Orochimaru was seeing. The fact that Orochimaru had granted him permission at all should have worried Sasuke, but he was too curious to think further about it. At first, all Sasuke saw was darkness, until a lamp was lit somewhere in front of him. The new illumination brought Sasuke face to face with an older man sitting up in bed holding the lamp. The man's eyes were wide and his face was frozen in fear.
"I told you what the price of betrayal would be, did I not?" Orochimaru asked. When the man didn't respond, Orochimaru continued. "Sheltering Konoha ninja, especially that blonde nuisance, was a violation of our agreement."
Naruto was in this village? Sasuke thought. That's why Orochimaru allowed me to see this.
After the thought had left him, and Orochimaru had responded to it with a mental chuckle, Sasuke reminded himself to shield his thoughts, as he'd learned to do over the past year, so that Orochimaru couldn't hear them.
Thoughts safely shielded, Sasuke pondered the implication of Naruto's appearance in the village. What had the blond idiot been doing this close to Otogakure? There was nothing for him in this country, unless…
Unless he's still looking for me.
The thought momentarily flared the small spark of hope Sasuke still harbored, until the realization that if Naruto knew that Orochimaru had taken over Sasuke's body he wouldn't still be looking.
"What was he doing here?" Orochimaru asked. "Was he alone or did he bring company?"
The man, apparently realizing that lying would only cause him more pain, decided to talk.
"There was only one ninja, the blonde you mentioned. He said he was looking for someone."
"Who was he looking for?" Orochimaru asked, even though Sasuke was sure the snake already knew the answer.
"The boy showed me a picture of a Konoha ninja, Orochimaru-sama," the man said, his voice reflecting the man's rising fear. "He said that the ninja he was looking for was named Uchiha Sasuke."
"How long ago did this happen?" Orochimaru asked in a way that made Sasuke think he was doing it so that Sasuke himself could hear the answer, because Orochimaru already knew what it was.
The man thought for a moment. "I would say it was about two months ago," he finally said.
Sasuke's shock manifested itself in the dropping of his shields, which allowed Orochimaru to feel the response and send his own smug satisfaction back to Sasuke. Sasuke gathered himself once again and not until his shields were back in place did he allow himself to think of the implications of the man's response.
Naruto had been here, looking for him, two months ago. Orochimaru had taken Sasuke's body a little over a year ago and Sasuke refused to believe that Konoha was so uninformed that Tsunade-sama wouldn't have found out about it. Naruto had to know, and yet was still looking for Sasuke.
"Uchiha Sasuke has been dead for a long time," Orochimaru said. "Uzumaki Naruto will accept that eventually. Why did you shelter him?" Orochimaru asked.
The man swallowed hard as he set the lamp on a bedside table. "He was injured and he didn't seem like a threat. I meant no disrespect to you, Orochimaru-sama. I didn't know that he was your enemy. If I had, I would have held him until you could deal with him."
"All Konoha ninja are my enemy, Takeshi, you should already know that."
Before Sasuke realized what had happened, the man's head had been separated from his body and Orochimaru was using the bed covers to clean the blood off of his sword. The Sharingan deactivated, and when Orochimaru raised his head, Sasuke found himself looking at his reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall beside him. His shoulder length hair was disheveled and strands of it clung to his cheeks and neck. His pale face had spots of blood on it, but Sasuke knew that none of it was his own. The mirror also showed that his clothing was similarly stained with blood. When Sasuke's attention returned to the face, Orochimaru was grinning.
"What do you think, Sasuke?" Orochimaru asked as he licked the blood off their face. "I think the blood suits you very well."
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Sasuke sat up in bed and couldn't immediately place his surroundings. He panicked, threw the sweat-dampened sheets off of him, and got to his feet. Light from a window caught his attention and the moonlight filtering into the room helped him identify his surroundings as Naruto's living room. Sasuke took slow and deep breaths to calm his racing heart as beads of sweet slid down his neck and chest.
When the panic receded, Sasuke made his way to the small bathroom. He turned on the light and had to blink several times until his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. When he was able to see again, he came face to face with his reflection in the mirror above the sink. For a moment, the image from the nightmare superimposed itself over the current reflection, and Sasuke recoiled until his back hit the wall behind him. The image quickly faded, leaving Sasuke with a reflection that didn't make him feel any better.
Sometime during the night, his hair had come out of the hair tie, leaving it unbound and messy, with strands sticking to his bare back and shoulders. There were dark circles under his eyes, which stood out starkly on his pale face. Sasuke's gaze traveled to his chest and the countless scars that a life as a ninja had brought him, before it rested on the seal that Naruto had placed on him. Sasuke ran his fingers over it, amazed at the complexity of it. It didn't hurt and he couldn't remember getting it, but he could still feel a small trace of the chakra Naruto had used to place it. Sasuke's eyes left the seal and traveled to another seal, the one that represented his contract with Orochimaru's snakes.
This seal had been placed on him a year after he'd joined Orochimaru, and Sasuke could still remember that day clearly. He hadn't known it was going to happen, nor had Orochimaru asked for his permission to do it. One morning, Kabuto and Orochimaru had dragged him from his room and taken him deeper underground. He'd been restrained by Kabuto while Orochimaru placed the seal on his right bicep.
Sasuke flexed the muscle and touched the snake that had been burned into his skin. Unlike Naruto's seal, this one hurt when he touched it, and unlike the curse seal that had disappeared when Orochimaru had taken his body, Sasuke would carry this seal until the day he died. Sasuke looked at his face in the mirror once more and wondered who the beaten down stranger with the dull eyes and gaunt face staring back at him was.
Anger rushed through him as he looked at what he had become. His right hand balled into a fist and he had every intention of smashing the mirror into pieces, but stopped centimeters from hitting the surface when he remembered that this was Naruto's apartment and he had no right to destroy any part of it.
Sasuke tore his eyes away from the reflection and washed the sweat off his face. When he finished, he stepped into the small hallway that connected the bathroom to Naruto's bedroom. Before he had a chance to head back to the living room, he felt a flare of chakra. The chakra was unmistakably Naruto's, and Sasuke's guard immediately went up. If the blonde's chakra was fluctuating, there had to be a reason for it. Sasuke felt the surroundings for other chakra but felt only Naruto's.
"Help me. Please, Sasuke, help me."
The desperate plea cut through Sasuke like a knife, and he abandoned his previous intent of going back to the living room and headed for Naruto's bedroom instead. He opened the door, glad that it wasn't locked, and walked into the darkness of Naruto's bedroom expecting the worst. Enough light streamed into the room from the open window to allow Sasuke to see that Naruto was in bed, caught in the throes of a nightmare. Naruto had thrown the most of the bed covers onto the floor and was covered in only a sheet that he clung to as if his life depended on it.
"I know you're in there," Naruto said, and his face showed the desperation that his voice conveyed. "Fight Orochimaru, Sasuke. Give me a chance, just one chance, to free you."
Sasuke froze when he realized what Naruto was dreaming about. The blonde must have regained his memories of the battle with Orochimaru, while Sasuke still lacked his own. Curious and concerned for his friend's state of mind, Sasuke got closer to the bed until he was within touching distance of the troubled teenager on the bed.
"Damn it, Sasuke, fight him. Don't let me down again."
A piece of Sasuke's heart cracked at the disappointment in Naruto's voice, but he had no one to blame for that but himself. He had let Naruto and Sakura down time after time, culminating with his betrayal of everything they'd offered him, and there was nothing that he could ever do that would make up for that.
Naruto suddenly screamed and clutched at his chest in the exact same spot where Sasuke himself had driven a Chidori through. Had Naruto's dream shifted so that he was now remembering the fight at the Valley of the End, or… Sasuke's eyes widened as a thought struck him. Had Orochimaru hurt Naruto with a Chidori in the exact same spot? Of course the snake would know about the Valley of the End, since he had all of Sasuke's memories. The snake would have been only too happy to remind Naruto of that fight in the worst way imaginable.
Naruto screamed again and Sasuke couldn't just stand by and watch any longer. He took the hand that Naruto had on his chest in one of his own and used the other to shake the blonde.
"Wake up, Naruto," Sasuke commanded, "it's over, and you're okay. Orochimaru is dead."
Naruto's eyes immediately shot open, wild and unfocused. When they landed on Sasuke, the confusion that had been in the blue depths was immediately replaced by sheer terror.
"NO!" Naruto shouted and pushed Sasuke away.
Sasuke, who had been leaning awkwardly over the bed, was caught off guard and the push sent him sprawling backwards. His foot got caught on one of the discarded covers and he fell. His back hit something as he landed, and his fall was accompanied by the sound of glass breaking. The sound, however, was nothing compared to the sound of his heart breaking as he looked into Naruto's terrified eyes. Sasuke looked away from Naruto and remained motionless on the floor while Naruto pulled himself together. He inclined his head slightly so that his hair fell to cover his face.
When Naruto finally spoke, his voice was hesitant. "Sasuke, is that you?"
Sasuke got to his feet and turned on the light. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come in," he said.
He refused to meet Naruto's eyes again and instead let his gaze drop to the ground. It was then that he noticed what had broken during his fall. He kneeled and picked up the framed photograph of Team 7. The glass had broken in three places and one of the pieces had cut into the picture, carving a thin, white line over the Sasuke in the photograph. Sasuke got up and placed the frame face down on the dresser.
"You'll need a new frame," was all Sasuke said.
Awkward silence fell over them while Naruto got out of bed and picked up the discarded covers.
"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Naruto said, "I didn't know it was you. I thought…"
Naruto trailed off, but Sasuke was only too happy to finish the sentence. "You thought I was Orochimaru."
Naruto didn't reply, but he didn't have to.
"It's okay," Sasuke said. "I was Orochimaru."
"You're not anymore," Naruto countered. "That time has passed and it doesn't matter anymore."
This time Sasuke did meet Naruto's eyes. "It does matter, Naruto, you've just made that abundantly clear."
Sasuke left the room, got dressed, and picked up his bag. He had made it to the front door when Naruto came out of his bedroom.
"Wait, Sasuke, you can't leave," Naruto said. "Let's not leave this like it is."
Sasuke's instinct to run was so strong that he momentarily considered breaking the Hokage's rule and teleporting out of the apartment. The only thing that stopped him was the knowledge that he was already on precarious ground with the Hokage and he couldn't afford to make it worse.
"There is nothing to say, Naruto. The situation is what it is and I made it this way, no one else. "
Sasuke let himself out of the apartment and into the cool night. He wanted to ignore the ache in his chest and the stinging in his eyes, but found that the sensations intensified with ever step he took away from Naruto's apartment.
When he felt dampness on his cheeks, he wondered if it had started to rain.
&&&&
Dawn found Naruto sitting at the small table in his kitchen, staring at the photograph of Team 7. He'd thrown away the broken pieces of glass, but the damage had already been done. He fingered the white line that had been carved into the Sasuke in the photo and resisted the urge to scream in frustration. The photograph reminded him too much of the forehead protector sitting on his dresser with a similar line carved through it, a line that Naruto himself had put there.
He had not been able to return to sleep after Sasuke left, and it hadn't been just because of the nightmare Sasuke had pulled him out of. Naruto hadn't been able to get the hurt in Sasuke's eyes as he'd walked out of the bedroom out of his mind. Sasuke, being the emotionally distant bastard that he was, had kept a perfectly blank face, but his eyes didn't lie. Naruto's instinctive reaction as he'd woken up had deeply wounded his friend, and for that, Naruto felt incredibly guilty. Not only that, but he'd told Sasuke earlier in the day that he should not be held accountable for Orochimaru's deeds and that no matter how the villager's reacted, Sasuke had at least three people that believed in him. Even if it had been while pulling himself out of a disturbing memory, Naruto had reacted no differently than any of the villagers they'd come across.
Naruto finally let out that scream of frustration he'd been fighting for the past four hours and banged his head against the table several times, hoping that the pain would bring clarity to his mind. When it didn't, Naruto got up and paced. He wasn't afraid of Sasuke. He didn't believe that Sasuke would hurt him. That nightmare, the memory of his final battle with Orochimaru, terrified him, and when he'd seen Sasuke so close, he'd been unable to tell nightmare from reality. By the time he'd done so, it had been too late. Sasuke, of course, had reacted exactly like he usually did and had immediately closed himself off, and Naruto knew that no amount of apologizing would take back what had occurred. He'd let Sasuke go, because making him stay would have just made things worse.
Deciding that being busy was the best solution to his troubled mind, Naruto got dressed. He didn't put on his uniform, since he was still suspended, but he did dress appropriately for the place he was going to visit. When he was finished getting dressed he teleported to the Hokage tower. He could have walked to the tower, but walking would just give him more time to think, and thinking was not something he wanted to do. It was still early, but he knew that Tsunade, despite her lazy attitude, liked to start her work day early. This was the best time to speak to her, before the duties of her position merited her full attention.
He let himself into Tsunade's office as he always did, without knocking or announcing himself. She would have sensed him anyway, so he saw no point in the pleasantries. Naruto found the Hokage standing by the window holding a steaming cup of tea. She did not turn to face him as he sat on one of the chairs in front of her desk.
"What do you want, Naruto?" she asked.
"I want to work," he answered.
The Hokage turned to face him.
"You should have through of that before you left the village to look for an S-class criminal with two forbidden techniques in your arsenal."
Naruto did not argue with her statement, because she was right. "There's got to be something I can do," he said instead.
Tsunade sighed and settled into her chair. She took a sip of her tea and watched Naruto over the rim of the cup. Naruto had to fight the urge to fidget under the scrutiny.
"The whole point of you being suspended is that you don't get to do what you want to do," Tsunade said.
Naruto shook his head at her misunderstanding. "I'm not asking to be reinstated as a ninja, Tsunade, all I want is something to do."
Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Why are you here, then?" The only thing I can do for you is reinstate you, and you haven't earned that yet."
Naruto wasn't paying attention to Tsunade anymore as he got an idea.
"Since I'm not currently working for you, there's nothing that says I can't work for one of the civilian merchants, is there?" Naruto asked.
Tsunade did not immediately reply. When she did, there was a note of disbelief in her voice. "Naruto, I would have thought that you'd made more than enough money over the past six years to have enough saved up for emergencies. Do you need money that badly that you'd work for a civilian?"
Naruto looked up at his friend, confused, until he realized what she was saying. "I don't need the money, I just want something to do," he told her.
Tsunade's eyes bore into his and Naruto couldn't keep from fidgeting this time. He hated when she looked at him the way she was looking at him now, because it always made him feel like she could see all the way into his soul.
"Sasuke, huh?" was all she said.
Naruto managed to keep the grimace off his face. "What makes you say that?" he asked.
"I've known you long enough, Naruto, and the only times you've looked this disturbed and troubled all had to do with Sasuke."
Naruto sighed. Damn her for knowing him so well and damn him for being so easy to read. "We're adjusting, that's all," he said and the reply sounded lame even to him.
"Right, so that's why you look like you haven't slept much, or is that just the nightmares keeping you awake?"
He was tempted to argue with her, to insist that everything was fine, but that would just confirm her suspicions.
"I have a lot to sort out," Naruto finally answered. "Too much happened in too short a time, and my mind is still trying to work it all out."
"Talking about it might help, Naruto," Tsunade said. "I'm offering as a friend, not as your boss."
"Thanks, Tsunade, but this is something I have to work out for myself."
They fell into companionable silence until Tsunade broke it. "There is a carpenter that just opened up shop close to where you live," Tsunade said. "He came from Earth country and doesn't know many people here. You night want to pay him a visit."
The confusion Naruto felt at the sudden change of subject must have shown on his face, because Tsunade explained further. "He's looking for help."
Naruto grinned, and Tsunade smiled back.
"Just don't tell anyone that I sent you to him. I'm supposed to be punishing you."
"I won't," Naruto said as he jumped to his feet, energized now that he had something to do. "Thanks, Tsunade-baa-chan."
"You could address me by my title, brat," Tsunade said.
Naruto's grin widened. "I could, but that wouldn't be any fun. Bye!"
With that, he left her office and made his way to what hopefully would turn out to be a lot of work.
&&&&
Kakashi stood in front of the memorial stone, as he always did at this time of the morning. He liked to come at this time because very few people came this early, and Kakashi liked reminiscing in solitude. Though he usually reserved this time to think about his past, this particular morning Kakashi was thinking about his present; namely, a former student that had been dragged back home by two other former students.
Kakashi shook his head as he thought of those two. How desperate must they have been to attempt such a stunt on their own? If they had come to him for help, would Kakashi have helped them or marched them straight to the Hokage for punishment? Should he congratulate them on their success or berate them for all of the laws they'd broken?
He idly wondered what his teacher would have done if he'd been in a similar situation, if Obito or Rin, or even Kakashi himself, had decided to leave the village in search of power. Kakashi couldn't help a small smile at the thought: his teacher would have gone after the person himself, brought him or her back kicking and screaming, and then would have locked them in a room for a long while to ponder their foolishness. Kakashi's smile disappeared as guilt slowly worked its way to the surface. Should he have gone after Sasuke himself? Should he have been more of a help to Naruto and Sakura? Kakashi sighed. Thinking about the past was so much easier because all of the decisions, for better or worse, had already been made.
A flash of white to Kakashi's right drew the man's attention. He didn't turn his head, but he could see out of the corner of his eye that he had company. The man's chakra was familiar, and slightly agitated, but Kakashi decided that there was no use in cutting short his ritual simply because a legendary ninja had decided to pay him a visit. If what Jiraiya had come to tell him was important enough, the man would wait.
Thirty minutes later, apparently having gotten tired of waiting, Jiraiya came to stand beside Kakashi. The jounin spared the sannin a glance, and before he could look away, Jiraiya spoke.
"Do you ever wonder about the roads not taken, Kakashi?" Jiraiya asked.
"Why would you want to?" Kakashi retorted. "You can't go back and change anything."
Jiraiya walked closer to the monument and ran his fingers over the name Kakashi had been staring at minutes before.
"I sometimes wonder whether I would have made a difference had I been here the day the nine-tailed fox attacked the village," Jiraiya finally said. "If I'd been here, then maybe I wouldn't have to come here to talk to my student."
Kakashi still remembered the last moments of his teacher's life and wondered if Jiraiya would have made a difference. Would the sannin have tried to talk the Yondaime out of sacrificing himself? Would Jiraiya have offered another alternative?
"We can lose ourselves in the possibilities, Jiraiya, which is why it's best not to dwell on what could have been."
Jiraiya turned to Kakashi. "You were always a realist, weren't you Kakashi? It makes me wonder why you're here, if not to wonder about what you could have done differently for the people you cared about."
"It's unlike you to sound nostalgic, Jiraiya," Kakashi said. "What brought this on?"
Kakashi's flippant comment was meant to distract the sannin from whatever was eating at his conscience. It had the opposite effect, however, because Jiraiya's face darkened.
"I've sat outside of Naruto's bedroom window for the past few nights," Jiraiya said after a tense silence, "and have heard just how much this experience has affected him. I thought that maybe having Sasuke stay with him would help, but it just made things worse for both of them."
Jiraiya trailed off and the guilt in the man's eyes was hard to miss. Kakashi's eye widened when he finally processed what Jiraiya had said.
"I thought Sasuke was living at home," Kakashi said. "When did he go stay with Naruto?"
"Just last night," Jiraiya said, but did not bother to elaborate further.
The man's eyes suddenly lost their focus. Wherever Jiraiya was, it certainly wasn't with Kakashi in front of the memorial stone anymore. Kakashi returned his gaze to the stone, and his teacher's name, and wondered, once again, whether he should have been more involved in his student's lives, like his teacher had been with Kakashi.
"If we'd done something about Orochimaru when we had the chance then two teenaged boys wouldn't currently be tearing themselves apart just to survive another day."
Kakashi had a feeling that Jiraiya was talking about his own past, so he remained quiet until the man was ready to continue the conversation. After a moment, the older ninja shook his head slightly, as if pushing away old ghosts, and looked at Kakashi once again.
"I ran into Sasuke yesterday," Jiraiya said. "A group of ninja had cornered him and one of them had a kunai to his throat."
Kakashi wasn't entirely surprised at the news, but that didn't keep him from having to clench his jaw in anger.
"Who were they? As ninja, they should know better than to do something like that," Kakashi said.
He also realized, however, that ninja would be the ones to react the strongest, because they had lost the most when Oto had invaded Konoha. They weren't likely to forget anytime soon, or let Sasuke forget it either.
"I don't know," Jiraiya said. "I didn't recognize any of them."
Kakashi clenched his jaw and was glad for the mask that hid his features. "What did Sasuke do?"
"Nothing," Jiraiya said. "He could have taken all five of them out of commission, but he had instructions from Tsunade not to do anything."
"Have you informed the Hokage?"
"Not yet. I want to find them first," Jiraiya replied.
The older ninja was quiet for a long moment, and when he'd finally put whatever was in his thoughts into order, he faced Kakashi once again.
"Sasuke is trying very hard to pretend that the last 6 years haven't affected him," Jiraiya finally said. "He's convinced that he can handle things completely on his own."
Kakashi's lip curled up slightly at that. "Sasuke does that," he said. "He's always been a loner."
"I doubt that's the case," Jiraiya countered. "He was forced to become a loner when his brother killed his clan, and everyone else was only too happy to leave him alone to deal with his ghosts by himself."
Kakashi fought the irrational urge to tell Jiraiya that Sasuke was one of his students and that he knew the boy better than Jiraiya.
"With all due respect, you weren't here," Kakashi said instead.
"It's because I wasn't here that I can see the situation more clearly," Jiraiya insisted. "I don't have a prejudice one way or another about Sasuke. All I see is a very lonely boy who made a terrible mistake and has been left alone to deal with the consequences, whether he wants to be alone or not. We're responsible for our students, are we not, Kakashi?"
It took everything Kakashi had not to react to Jiraiya's statement. A lifetime of pretending not to care about anyone around him worked wonders in situations like this, and he managed to disguise his anger, and the slight sting of truth, as boredom.
"Sasuke is a strong-willed individual," Kakashi finally said and mentally patted himself on the back for managing to keep his voice neutral, "who doesn't like people interfering with his life. I, for one, understand and choose to honor that."
"A lot of good that did him," Jiraiya said. "It led him straight to Orochimaru."
"What do you want from me?" Kakashi asked, a note of exasperation finally creeping into his voice.
"You were his teacher, Kakashi; you stand a better chance of getting through to him than I do. He shouldn't be left alone to deal with everything that's happened to him in the last six years. We both know what happened the first time he was left alone to grieve."
"The only one Sasuke has ever listened to is Naruto," Kakashi said. "I don't know why or how, but Naruto has always managed to get through to him."
"Except for when it counted the most," Jiraiya said. "At least that's what Naruto thinks."
Kakashi sighed. "I've already failed Sasuke," he finally said and averted his eyes from the elder ninja.
"Your student isn't dead," Jiraiya said. "You haven't failed him until you have to attend his funeral."
Kakashi turned to Jiraiya once more and was surprised at the sorrow in his eyes. Kakashi was sure that if he had a mirror, he'd see the same sorrow reflected in his own eyes for the teacher that he still missed.
"Sasuke is stubborn, but so am I," Kakashi finally said, coming to a decision.
"That's the spirit" Jiraiya said with a small smile.
"What about Naruto?" Kakashi asked, realizing that he hadn't stopped by to see his other former student either.
"Don't worry about Naruto, Kakashi, I can handle him. We've spent way too much time together for the kid to be able to hide much from me. Sooner or later, he'll come to his senses and realize that he can't handle this on his own either."
&&&&
"Are you sure you don't want me to pay you with money, young man?" the elder carpenter that owned the small, but fully stocked, shop he'd worked at all day asked Naruto. "You worked so hard and did so well, I'd hate to pay you with only those building supplies."
Naruto grinned as he eyed the load of plywood, shingles, nails, and various tools the man had agreed to pay him with.
"This is the best form of payment you can give me, Inoue-san," he said. "I have a friend whose roof needs repairs, but he doesn't have much money, so these will come in handy."
The man, Inoue Daisuke, nodded his head slightly. "Does this friend need a job?" he asked. "If he's as hard-working as you, I could use the help." Something must have occurred to the man, because his eyes widened in alarm. "Don't worry, Naruto, if you still want to work here, you can. As you can see, I've been blessed with a lot of business and I still haven't completely set up."
Naruto's eyes traveled over the small, but robust shop, and he had to agree that yes, the man needed some serious help in getting all of his supplies organized and catalogued. Inoue-san was primarily a carpenter, and had many beautiful pieces of furniture on display, but he also sold the raw supplies for a number of different things, which is where Naruto's help had come in handy. He had spent the day doing inventory on the man's supplies.
"I'll mention it to my friend," Naruto said.
Inoue-san smiled. "Is he a ninja like you, Naruto?"
"He was," Naruto answered vaguely.
Inoue-san took the answer in stride. "So why did you come work for me, Naruto, if you're already employed by the village?"
Naruto couldn't help but notice the curious, but honest, gleam to the man's eyes.
"I've been given the next few months off, and heard that you needed help. I don't like to just sit around, so here I am," Naruto replied, sticking as close to the truth as possible.
"Well, thank you, young man. I will see you again tomorrow morning?"
"Of course. Until tomorrow," Naruto said. He summoned three of his clones and together, the four of them gathered all of the supplies and made their way to the Uchiha neighborhood.
Naruto had gotten this little idea after he'd seen the supplies in Inoue-san's shop. He'd come to work because he wanted something to do, not because he wanted to make any money. Inoue-san, however, had been adamant about paying him, so they'd finally settled on a deal: for eight hours of work, Naruto could have the supplies he needed to repair Sasuke's roof, which he knew, from the times he'd made use of the Uchiha training areas, needed much work. Naruto wasn't going to tell Sasuke what he was planning on doing because Sasuke would probably tell him to get lost. Instead, Naruto hoped that Sasuke wasn't home and stayed away long enough for him and his clones to do the job.
"Come on, guys, let's get moving," Naruto said and teleported all of them, plus supplies, into the Uchiha neighborhood.
The fist thing Naruto did upon his arrival at the entrance to the Uchiha neighborhood was to look for Sasuke's chakra. When he didn't find it anywhere close to the house Naruto let out a sigh of relief. He wanted to get the job done as quickly and quietly as possible, because he didn't want a confrontation with Sasuke. Keeping that in mind, Naruto traveled the rest of the way to the house quickly and immediately instructed his clones on what he wanted done. Naruto himself took the front portion of the roof, rubbed his hands together in anticipation of the job to come, and got to work.
Four hours later, the roof was done. He was sweaty, thirsty, and achy, but felt a sense of accomplishment as he looked upon the newly laid shingles.
"We did well, considering we have little experience with this sort of thing," said one of the clones that had come to stand beside him.
"I think we picked up enough in our travels to make it work," Naruto replied. "At least the roof no longer looks like Swiss cheese."
The thought made Naruto's stomach rumble and he grumbled at his idiocy for not having brought a snack. He nodded his thanks to his clones for the help and dismissed them, then sat down and stared at the slowly sinking sun. Night was fast approaching and he was pushing his luck in staying here so long, but he didn't want to get up just yet. There was something about the slowly appearing stars in the night sky that had always fascinated him, and the view from the Uchiha roof was beautiful.
The soft sound of someone landing on the roof somewhere behind him brought Naruto out of his contemplation of the sky, and he inwardly cursed. He'd known he was pushing it by sticking around, and he was in no mood to fight with Sasuke. The steps got closer, but Naruto didn't turn his head or make a move to get up.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked.
"I'm watching the stars," Naruto replied. "Who knew that the view from your roof was so good?"
Naruto could tell that Sasuke was not amused by the comment. He wasn't being outright hostile either, which Naruto took to be an invitation to remain where he was.
"You fixed the roof?" Sasuke asked as he sat to one side, but well out of range, of Naruto.
Naruto wasn't sure what to make of the physical distance Sasuke was putting between them, but he had learned over the years to take a hint, and he was definitely reading the one Sasuke was giving him now.
"I had some time, and some spare supplies, so I figured I'd put them to good use," Naruto said."
Sasuke turned and pierced Naruto with a glare. "You just had roofing supplies lying around somewhere? Gee Naruto I didn't think your apartment was big enough."
Naruto clenched his jaw and fought the urge to grab the hammer lying at his feet and throw it at Sasuke's head.
"My apartment is bigger than you think," Naruto replied, more than happy to throw Sasuke's sarcasm back in his face, "you just didn't stay long enough to find that out."
Sasuke's chakra flared momentarily before he smothered it and turned away from Naruto. Naruto sighed and got to his feet. He hadn't come to fight with Sasuke and it was way past time that he went home. He picked up the satchel he'd carried all of the tools in and put them back inside to return to Inoue-san. When he was finished, he turned to Sasuke to tell him about the job, but Sasuke spoke first.
"Why did you do this?" he asked. "I didn't ask for your help, Naruto. I would have taken care of it."
Naruto shrugged. "The roof needed it," he said. "Besides, there's no rule that says you have to take care of everything yourself."
Sasuke looked like he wanted to argue with Naruto's reasoning, but after some moments of indecision, decided against it.
"The carpenter I worked for today needs help, if you're interested in a job. His shop is at the edge of the marketplace, four shops down from the Yamanaka's flower shop. It opens at seven."
Naruto turned to leave and had made it to the edge of the roof when Sasuke's voice stopped him.
"Thank you," Sasuke said.
Naruto smiled, even though Sasuke couldn't see him, and waved.
"See you around, Sasuke," Naruto said and leapt off the roof.
&&&&
Darkness had fully set in, but Sasuke remained where he'd been when Naruto left. The streetlights had come on a short while ago, providing Sasuke with some illumination. He almost wished that they hadn't, so he could have a better view of the stars Naruto had been so intently looking at.
Sasuke's gut twisted at the thought of the blonde ninja. He'd left Naruto's apartment early that morning determined to put some distance between them. The incident, or rather the way the incident had made him feel, had made it clear to Sasuke that he had come to rely on Naruto, which was simply not acceptable. Sasuke had also realized that he'd been clinging not only to Naruto, but to the past that the blonde represented, a past Sasuke desperately wanted, but knew he didn't deserve. He'd willingly thrown it away, and it was time that he began to deal with the consequences.
When Sasuke had finally made it home after leaving Naruto's apartment, he'd made a vow to keep to himself as much as possible. The villagers despised him and the ninja wanted him dead, so he was better off staying out of sight and out of their way, at least until the Hokage allowed him to defend himself. It wouldn't be any different than after his clan had been massacred. Even though he'd had the village's sympathy back then, he'd still been alone.
He'd spent most of the day looking for work, and hadn't been surprised when he'd been turned away at every shop he visited. The glares and the nasty comments that had been hurled at him hadn't disturbed him as much as the realization that, without a job, he was in serious trouble. His only possessions were inside his house, but even that wasn't saying much. He had no food or drinking water, which was his main concern. Then again, he'd learned in Oto to go days without nourishment, so he could definitely survive for a little while. He'd worry about it again when the time came.
Sasuke hadn't expected to see Naruto again for a long while, and he certainly hadn't expected to come home and find Naruto sitting on his newly repaired roof with a possible job opportunity. What was the blonde thinking? He'd made it clear to Sasuke that morning that he was afraid of what Sasuke had been, so why bother coming when everything was finally out in the open and Naruto didn't have to pretend to care anymore? Sasuke shook his head and groaned at the headache he could already feel creeping up on him. Why was dealing with Naruto always so difficult?
"Isn't this a strange place for stargazing?"
Sasuke just barely managed not to show his surprise at yet another unexpected visitor. He turned his head to regard the man standing over him, and the smug look on the man's face told Sasuke that the older ninja was well aware that he'd startled the young man.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Kakashi?" Sasuke asked, not bothering to hide his sarcasm.
Instead of answering Sasuke's question, Kakashi chose to inspect the roof. He kneeled every now and then, ran his hands over the shingles, and nodded slightly. When he was finished inspecting, he sat next to Sasuke.
"I wasn't aware that you were so well versed in the art of roof repair," Kakashi said. "Something you picked up during your time in Oto?"
Sasuke's jaw clenched at the comment, but he'd expected no less from Kakashi. The man had always spoken his mind, and Sasuke was glad that hadn't changed.
"Unfortunately, no," Sasuke replied. "Orochimaru didn't have much use for that kind of knowledge. He was more interested in the type that maimed or killed people."
"Well that's too bad," Kakashi replied. "Sometimes knowing how to repair a roof is much more useful than knowing how to kill."
Sasuke couldn't help the smirk that graced his lips. "It's been useful to Naruto, at least."
That surprised Kakashi. "What makes you say that?" he asked.
"I didn't fix the roof, Naruto did," Sasuke explained.
That really surprised Kakashi. "I didn't know Naruto could do that," the man said. "Then again, he's traveled quite a bit, I'm sure he's picked up something here and there."
The dream he'd woken up from the night before was suddenly in his mind and Sasuke couldn't hide the shudder at the image of that village leader's headless body lying on the bed, all because he'd helped an injured Naruto.
"Is there something about Naruto traveling that you don't agree with?" Kakashi asked, his eye glued to Sasuke.
"Where did he go?" Sasuke asked, hoping to distract Kakashi and get him to stop looking at him with that penetrating gaze.
It took Kakashi a while to reply. "He went wherever he though you were. If he weren't such a favorite of the Hokage, he would have been demoted, or outright fired, a long time ago."
The thought of Naruto not living his life so that he could go and search for Sasuke left Sasuke feeling heavy with guilt, and he realized that he would never be able to repay the sacrifices that Naruto, and probably Sakura as well, had made for him.
"Why?" Sasuke finally asked, not caring that the one word he'd spoken betrayed the confusion he felt.
"You're one of his precious people, Sasuke," Kakashi said. "No matter what happens or how he may sometimes react, always remember that."
The words washed over Sasuke and he wondered briefly if Naruto had told Kakashi what had happened that morning. He discarded the thought as soon as it had popped into his head, however. Naruto wouldn't talk about something like that, Sasuke was sure of it. The two men sat in companionable silence for a few moments, until Sasuke spoke.
"Why are you here?" he asked.
Kakashi's response was immediate. "I made a mistake when you were my student."
Sasuke didn't bother to hide his surprise. Kakashi's face, normally a mask of boredom, held a seriousness and determination that Sasuke had only seen in Kakashi during battle.
"I took you on as my student because I understood you, Sasuke. Believe it or not, we had a lot in common."
Sasuke was reminded of the last conversation he'd had with Kakashi on the day he'd left Konoha, when Kakashi tied him to a tree with wire so that he wouldn't run away from the lecture.
Sasuke, forget about revenge. I've seen a lot of people like you and the fate of those who seek revenge is grim. It's tragic. You will end up suffering and hurting yourself even more.
Kakashi's words had been heartfelt, and Sasuke had responded by telling Kakashi that he knew nothing and had no right to lecture him. He had even gone as far as to say that he should kill Kakashi's most important person, because only then would Kakashi have a right to say that he understood what Sasuke was going through.
I wouldn't mind if you do, Kakashi had replied. Unfortunately, I no longer have anybody important to me. They've all been killed already.
Sasuke hadn't understood then what those words had meant and what it had cost Kakashi to say them. Now, with Orochimaru's memories in his head, Sasuke knew of each and every one of Kakashi's precious people and how they'd come to their tragic end. He also now knew how right Kakashi had been.
As if reading his mind, Kakashi spoke.
"I shouldn't have let you go that day, after your fight with Naruto on the roof of the hospital," Kakashi said. "You were unbalanced and I knew it. Seeing Itachi again, especially when you knew that Itachi had come back looking for Naruto, had sparked something in you and I knew that too. I should have taken you home and stayed with you until you came to your senses. I decided not to because…"
Kakashi trailed off and looked away from Sasuke to focus instead on the stars above them. He remained like that for a long time, long enough that Sasuke thought Kakashi might not finish the conversation he'd started.
"I left you alone because, if I had been in your shoes, it's what I would have wanted," Kakashi finally said. "Would it have stopped you permanently? I doubt it. Could I have convinced you to give up your revenge? Again, I doubt it. I didn't try, however, and that was my mistake."
"I made the choice to leave, Kakashi," Sasuke said after giving the older man a moment. "The consequences of that choice should be mine alone to bear."
"That's where you're wrong, Sasuke," Kakashi said, abandoning his view of the stars and piercing Sasuke with a stare. "Having friends means that you share the responsibility. The four of us, you, Sakura, Naruto, and I, are all in this together, whether you like it or not. That's what a team is, Sasuke, that's why Naruto fixed your roof, even though you probably didn't ask him to."
Sasuke wanted to believe Kakashi, wanted to give himself permission to share his life with them and let them help him, but the risk was too great, and it wasn't one that Sasuke was willing to take. It almost physically hurt to force the words out of his mouth, but he had to for their sake.
"We stopped being a team the moment I walked through the main gate, Kakashi," Sasuke said, his voice raspier than he meant it to be. "You and the other two are deluding yourselves if you think that things can just go back to the way they were. You have no idea how different I am now."
"We're all different now, Sasuke. Time tends to do that to a person." Kakashi took a deep breath, released it, and then got to his feet. "I let you deal with your demons by yourself once, Sasuke; I'm not going to do it again."
With that, Kakashi disappeared, leaving Sasuke alone to once again wonder why the members of the former team 7 refused to leave him alone.
&&&&
So there you have it. There wasn't much action in this chapter, but there should be more in the next when Konoha gets a visit from our friends from Mist.
Don't forget to leave a review on your way out! They feed the muse, which is always a good thing.