PART ONE

Nibelheim - 1993-2001

Living next door to her is torture.

I try to ignore it, but every night this week, I haven't been able to stop the way my ears strain to try and hear what might be happening next door, the way I turn on my side sometimes and stare at the wall, wishing it would turn to glass so that I could look out on the other side and see what she might be doing at the moment.

Despite the constant distraction in my head, it doesn't take much for my mind to wander and fixate on her. Little moments remind me of a past I can't recall, an ache crawling through my skull when I try to figure out why I'm so triggered by things like ceiling fans and doorknobs and the low lighting of a kerosene lamp.

But living next door to her really stirs me up.

The first few days I didn't think much of it. But it wasn't long before I realized that we had lived like this before - side by side, in a tiny little village somewhere far away, along with windmills and water towers and the gray, dusty peaks of distant mountains. Memories start to return to me slowly, and now I can't stop staring at her door whenever I pass it by in the morning when I'm leaving, or when I come home at night.

And I can't stop staring at her wall when I'm laying down to go to sleep.

What is this feeling? Why am I so confused?

Why does everything ache when I think of her?

It doesn't matter, because we're blowing up a reactor tonight.

V. Verdant and Bold

TIFA

[ μ ] - εγλ - 1993 | 11th August

It is at the end of that first summer when Tifa realizes that Cloud is becoming one of her favorite friends, even if he isn't part of the troupe that comes to be dubbed the Four Fiends by some of the village elders. Despite the way the school year had ended, Tifa always remembers to invite Cloud whenever she spend time with her friends in town that summer. For one, Thea reminds her over and over again how important it is for Cloud to make friends, and as his next-door neighbor, Tifa takes that responsibility very seriously. But for her, it isn't a matter of obligation or even of being a good, neighborly person. Tifa genuinely likes spending time with Cloud, and as the summer wears on, she finds that they are together more often than not, especially since they live next door to one another and it is easy to go back and forth between their homes. And while Tifa knows that Cloud doesn't get along with her group of friends, it doesn't stop them from spending time together, her treehouse their favorite, secret space where no adults and no other kids can bother them.

It doesn't matter much to her if he is a part of their group or not, even though she does wish that all of her friends would get along together as one unit. Secretly, she cherishes the way that she has Cloud to herself, finding him more and more intriguing over the course of the summer as they get to know each other.

The height of the summer, though, is when Cloud's seventh birthday rolls around in mid-August. Tifa is all too eager to spend it with him. None of the other village children are invited to his home that afternoon but Tifa, and for some reason, she feels special, sitting in his kitchen with him and both their mothers, eating a homemade, vanilla-frosted cake.

Tifa couldn't contain her excitement when Cloud's mother informed her and Thea earlier that week that Cloud's birthday was coming up, inviting them over for a small celebration. Cloud blushed when she brought it up, hiding his face behind her skirt. But all Tifa could think about was the gift she is going to give him, and she spends the rest of the week making sure it is perfect.

The sun is bright and hot in Nibelheim's sky, shining relentlessly through Claudia's wide-open bay windows. She and Thea laugh over tall glasses of chilled yellow wines, the children stuffed and energetic from cake.

"Tifa," Thea prods gently, leaning back in her chair. She's cooling herself with a large Wutain bamboo fan, painted with intricate, floral designs. "Why don't you give Cloud the gift you made for him?"

Tifa feels her heart beat a little faster. The gift is in her pocket, wrapped up carefully and neatly in tissue paper. She'd been so excited to give it to him, but now that the moment is here, she is suddenly nervous and shy.

"Okay," she finally whispers, looking back and forth between the two adults, cautiously avoiding looking at Cloud. For his part, he stares at her curiously, and the feeling of shyness that percolates in her chest seems to swell up even higher.

Slowly, she slips her hand into her pocket, pulling free the small bundle of tissue paper. She places it on the kitchen table, leaning forward in her chair. She's still not tall enough to sit in adult chairs properly, so she has to lean over the table with a little strain, her feet swinging back and forth underneath. When she looks up at Cloud and slides it in his direction, she notices that his cheeks are bright pink.

"Here you go," she whispers bashfully.

Thea is giggling, Claudia smiling broadly. Cloud stares at the bright blue paper, blinking in hesitation. Claudia clicks her tongue and leans in his direction.

"Come now," she whispers affectionately. "Don't keep everyone waiting. Open it, Cloud!"

Cloud inhales as if he is about to embark on the greatest undertaking of his life, and he reaches for the paper. He pulls it close, and Tifa watches his hands nervously as he begins to slowly tear away the layers of tissue paper. Her breath catches in her throat, her feet kicking more frantically under the table.

Eventually, he unravels it fully, shoving the paper out of the way. A dark leather string with a row of small, shimmery beads slides out onto the table. They are black, amber, and green-hued, arranged in alternating patterns. Cloud lays the string out on the table in front of him, his fingers gently pushing the beads back and forth as he examines it.

"It's a bracelet," Thea says when both children stay silent. Cloud is inspecting the gift, appearing a bit confused, while Tifa isn't sure what to say. It's her first time giving a gift to one of her friends that she made herself, and it feels more special and personal than the store-bought birthday gifts her family has given to her friends like Emilio or Lester. For some reason, this makes her feel even shyer.

Especially since an identical one is fitted around Tifa's left wrist.

"Tifa, why don't you tell Cloud about the bracelet?"

Tifa blinks when she's prompted. She looks up at Cloud, and their eyes meet across the table. He tilts his head to the side, ready to listen to her explanation. Self-consciously, she hides both her wrists under the table.

"Um," Tifa begins. "The beads are onyx, peridot, and emerald. They're from Wutai, where my Mama is from."

Tifa falls silent again. There's more she wants to say, but locking eyes with Cloud, she feels afraid to tell him. She's never felt these strange feelings before, and she wants to hide behind Mama.

Luckily, Mama knows her well. She exchanges a broad smile with Claudia, then leans over to pick up the bracelet. "Tifa, when did you become so shy!" she teases. She turns to Cloud, tucking a thick lock of dark hair behind her ear before she gently lifts his wrist, looping the bracelet under it.

"It's a friendship bracelet," Thea explains. "My grandparents were originally from Wutai, Cloud, but they moved to Nibelheim as part of the early settlement here. My grandfather wanted to explore the mountains. Lots of rumors that it was rich with minerals and materia that could bring in gil."

Tifa blinks, watching as Thea's slender fingers tie the leather around Cloud's tiny wrist. She's always intrigued to hear about her parents' pasts. Wutai seems like such a faraway, distant place, akin to one of the foreign lands in the fairy tales that she reads. Everything she knows about it has come from books and pictures. Even her mama has never been there, but has had precious goods like these beads imported from the isolated nation.

"Onyx symbolizes protection, and tiger's eye is meant to bring courage and strength. "Peridot," she goes on, offering Cloud a wink, "Symbolizes friendship and compassion. And emerald - this darker green, here - symbolizes love and loyalty."

Cloud blinks, turning his wrist over, staring at the bracelet at her words.

Thea is beaming when she turns back to Tifa. "Tifa, show him yours! Friendship bracelets are supposed to match."

Reluctantly, Tifa lifts her wrist from under the table. She holds it up, showing it to Cloud. It's almost identical to his, but the pattern of the lighter green, peridot beads and the darker emerald ones alternate in the opposite direction.

Tifa had sat at the desk in her room for the last few nights, stringing them both carefully together.

"What a thoughtful gift," Claudia says. She glances at Thea, and both women smile knowingly at one another. She nods happily, directing her gaze on Cloud. "True friendship can't be broken by anything, you know. Cloud, what do you say?"

Cloud looks up at Tifa, his cheeks still warm but the look in those royal blue eyes is intense. "Th-thanks," he stammers.

He smiles.

Tifa returns it, a fuzzy feeling of warmth flooding over her. She suddenly doesn't feel quite as nervous or shy as she did before. Instead, she feels happy, and she thinks of all of her friends, maybe Cloud is her best friend.

They don't speak of the friendship bracelet after that, but Tifa notices that neither of them ever takes them off.

Despite their growing affinity for one another, Cloud keeps his distance from Tifa in school. She notices it right away, the very first day in early September.

The air in Nibelheim is still acrid and too warm when the new school year starts. Tifa is a bright and industrious child, and she knows how to placate adults with her warm smiles and her polite assent to follow instructions. And she is eager to learn, happily taking a front-row seat in the classroom and being sure to absorb everything she possibly can from every lesson that is taught.

Her class consists of the same kids that it did the year before, the landscape of Nibelheim's youth never really changing. Emilio and the small group of boys who follow him around are all in her class. They'd spent the summer together, days and weeks that stretched on beneath the scorch of Nibelheim's summer sun throughout the fields and dry, cracked abandoned roads where they would ride their bikes and play their games. Tifa spent her days helping her mother at home and visiting the markets to do their shopping and helping her father down at the town hall where he worked and conducted his business. Afternoons she would join them in their follies when they could, but it became no secret to any of the children in that village that Tifa Lockhart often chose to spend her time with her next-door neighbor.

It causes a wellspring of jealousy that blooms when classes start, tension and animosity clear between Cloud and the other boys as soon as the schoolhouse doors open. Initially, Cloud and Emilio trade a few angry retorts, but Ms. Henley's stern gazes and warnings quickly shut their bad behavior down. Cloud withdraws, and while it keeps the arguments from continuing, Tifa is saddened because he pulls himself away from her, too. It bothers her, and Tifa can't help but watch with a frown whenever Cloud stays in the back of the classroom or clings to the edges of the playground when they go outside for recess.

Curiously, though, they are drawn back to one another when the school day ends. Tifa usually walks home with the Four Fiends, their small group all headed in generally the same direction. But at the end of that first day, she finds Cloud lingering by the line of trees just beyond the schoolhouse when they dismiss, waiting with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his shorts. Tifa notices, and she quietly splinters off of her group of friends, ignoring the way that Emilio turns back to her with a scowl.

"Cloud?"

"Hi, Tifa."

His greeting is low and conspiratorial as if he's afraid someone else might hear. He's not looking into her eyes, but Tifa is used to this. Cloud is often looking away from her when they interact, and she's become used to it by now.

"I thought you were going to go home by yourself," she says quietly. "You didn't talk to me all day."

She doesn't mean to whine when she says this, but she hears it in her voice. Papa has told her more than once how unbecoming it is to whine, and that it isn't any way for a young person to get what they want. But Tifa is only six and she can't help it.

"Sorry," Cloud says sheepishly. He's staring at his boots, and he kicks one foot back and forth in the dirt.

"It's okay," Tifa says. "Do you want to walk home together, Cloud?"

It only makes sense to Tifa since they live next door to each other. And since they didn't get to talk all day long in school, she's hopeful that it will become some time that they can spend together.

"Okay," he agrees.

Tifa grins, holding her books close to her chest as they begin to make their way down the cobblestone, the laughter of the other children fading away into the early fall winds. Cloud drifts off to her side, keeping a short distance away from her but hanging in her orbit nonetheless.

Tifa glances at him from the corner of her eyes. Cloud is quiet again, and while it is nothing unusual, she wonders what he is thinking. She hopes that his spats with Emilio and the others thanks to their blossoming closeness that summer isn't making him regret their friendship. She touches the black and green beads of her friendship bracelet, then steals a quick glance at Cloud's wrist. He's still wearing his, right in the place where her mother had tied it on his birthday.

"Did you like school today?" Tifa finally asks by way of making conversation. They are coming upon the center of town, passing the General Store that is owned by Emilio's father, and Gramp's Inn, one of the oldest and most respected establishments in Nibelheim.

Cloud shrugs a bit dramatically. "It was okay," he answers after a beat. He kicks at a rock, lobbing it out of his way. "What about you?"

Tifa turns to him, offering a smile. The sun is warm on her face and she feels happy to spend time with Cloud like this. She always feels calm and at ease when she's with him, and it's a nice feeling. When she's with the other boys, it's fun, but there's something different about it.

"I liked learning about butterflies," she replies. "And the caterpillar cocoons. I think butterflies are so pretty, Cloud, don't you?"

Cloud turns to her, just as they round their way past the water tower in the center of town. Cloud glances up at it, then affixes his attention back on Tifa.

"Yeah… he mutters, before scrunching his nose up thoughtfully. Tifa watches as he drops his hand to his wrist, twisting the beads of his friendship bracelet there. He blushes slightly, then looks away again.

"Hey Tifa, do you want to see something cool?" he asks her.

Tifa instantly brightens, enthused by this request. She's excited to do something fun and she's definitely excited that Cloud is asking her. She nods eagerly.

"Sure! What is it?"

Cloud pauses, stopping in the middle of the road. He scratches his head, then looks up at the water tower. He then cocks his head to one side, indicating the little dirt road that leads towards the base of the mountains, near the lower part of the village and not far from where the Shinra Mansion is built.

"It's this way," he tells her.

She follows him, and they circle along the road, bypassing the Shinra Mansion. Tifa stares up at it, its tall, rusted iron gates twisting together like decrepit arms that brood from up above, blocking entry.

Tifa realizes that Cloud is leading her to the orchids and fields just beyond the mansion, bordering the trailhead that leads to the roads up to the mountains. The children of the village often come here to play, but they are frequently warned against going any further than the trees that grow here. Cloud leads Tifa past a wooden fence, the grass growing taller and taller until it is tickling her shins and brushing against the frills of her dress.

Cloud ganders at her over his shoulder slightly, then keeps moving, picking his pace up a bit. Just beyond the fence, the grass opens up into a wide field that is teeming with wildflowers. There is an abandoned shed just beyond, a few tools and old pieces of machinery leaned up against its wall. In the grass a few feet away sits a tireless old motorcycle, pieces of its exhaust and fuel pipes hanging in the dirt, its glass foglights cracked.

Across the field, butterflies dance in whirling, circular patterns, the kaleidoscopic colors of their wings shimmering in the sunlight as their forelegs touch down on the petals of flowers or blades of grass. Some swoop high in the sky in arcs and loops, like kites flown by the hands of unseen children.

Tifa blinks, watching as they flutter past her. She pauses in the center of the field, turning her head from side to side in awe of what she sees. Cloud scratches the back of his neck by his rattail, and Tifa, for the first time, notices how it has seemed to grow out a little longer since he first moved back to the village.

Their eyes meet for a brief moment before Cloud turns away again, moving in the direction of the old bike that is leaning over in the dirt. He touches the handlebars, his fingers drifting along the corroded rubber before he climbs over the seat and inspects the frozen odometers on its dash.

Tifa watches him curiously as he looks over the machine with interest. The butterflies dance around her, and she steps through a flurry of them, holding her arm up as she joins Cloud by the bike.

"What is this?" she asks him.

Cloud looks at her, those royal blue eyes picking up every ray of sunlight as he blinks. He glances at the bike, then squeezes the handlebar as if to demonstrate.

"It's an old motorcycle," he explains. "A really old one. From the 1950s. It was one of Shinra's first models when they started making automobiles."

He says this so confidently that it makes Tifa feel that warm shyness all over again. In her young life, the only automobile she's ever seen is Gramp's truck, which is sometimes used to bring in deliveries from nearby villages and ports. Most people in Nibelheim get around on chocobo.

"I didn't know there were any motorcycles in Nibelheim," Tifa comments.

Cloud shrugs. "Caleb is the one who told me about it," he responded. "It was abandoned years ago. He said he was thinking about fixing it up, and was gonna let me help him."

Tifa smiles, thinking about this. Caleb is Chief Zander's nephew, an older boy of about fifteen or sixteen. He was a farmhand who Tifa often saw working throughout the village. She hadn't known that Cloud had taken up hanging out with him.

"That sounds really cool," she tells him, happy for him.

Cloud blushes again, turning to look back at the gauges on the bike. "There are all kinds of vehicles in Midgar," he goes on. "It's a lot different here."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Cloud continues, turning to her, his eyes lighting up when she shows interest in the topic. "There are these big freeways all around the city that connect the plates and each sector to one another, and all the cars and motorcycles drive on them."

Tifa nods, picturing it in her head. It sounds so distant and far away, so otherwordly, that it is hard to imagine, especially when the only thing she knows is the quiet sameness of her mountain village.

She squints up at the sunlight as she looks around the field of flowers. The butterflies continue to flap their wings as they fly in aimless directions, unperturbed by the two children who have encroached on their space. Tifa watches them pass to and fro, and she smiles at Cloud, stepping closer to him on the bike.

"Cloud, can we go somewhere?"

He cocks his head at her. "Huh?"

Tifa puts her hands on her hips. "Take me somewhere on your bike," she insists.

Cloud blinks at her as if confused by her words. "But it doesn't work," he says, gesturing to the dilapidated pile of scrap he sits upon. "It's all busted up.

Tifa giggle. "We'll pretend, silly! Now be a gentleman, and help a lady up."

Tifa holds her head up when she says this, mimicking the way that her mother does anytime she says this to Papa when he helps her into a chocobo carriage.

Cloud looks dumbfounded for a moment, but he recovers quickly and offers Tifa his hand, his cheeks scarlet as if burned by the overhead sun. Tifa accepts his hand as he helps pull her onto the bike, and she tries to side-saddle the seat, pulling at the hems of her dress so that it doesn't ride up.

Cloud turns away quickly when she's seated, grabbing both handlebars. He's too short and little, and can barely reach, so he has to slide up and lean all the way forward. The awkwardness of it makes Tifa laugh and blush even harder.

"W-where do you want to go?" he asks, swinging his legs back and forth, interrupting her fits of giggles.

Tifa leans forward, looking at the horizon ahead of them. The sky is a pale shade of blue, so soaked through by sunlight that it is almost a wispy white color. The butterflies dance all around them, and the early afternoon breeze shifts the grass and blows falling leaves from the branches of nearby trees.

"Let's go to Midgar," Tifa says. "I want to see the big city and all the cars."

Tentatively, she puts her hands on Cloud's shoulder the way she's seen women riding the backs of motorcycles in magazines and movies. She tucks one leg under her, careful not to let her dress roll up, and balances herself against Cloud's back so that she doesn't fall. Cloud stiffens for a second when she touches him, but then he glances over his shoulder and when their eyes meet, Tifa smiles and leans against him.

"Okay," he agrees, his body relaxing though his cheeks remain pink. He turns back around, pretending to rev the handlebars, and he makes a low, rumbling sound in his throat, mimicking the groan of an engine. "First stop is Sector Seven!"

Tifa laughs, and Cloud narrates their drive through the city, describing scenery as they go, a combination of his imagination and his memory painting their folly. Tifa listens and joins in, adding to their game of make belief with scenarios of her own, describing the people they might pass on the street and the places that they might visit, drawing on the things she's seen and heard about the great City of Mako in her young life.

A butterfly with blue and magenta wings dives toward them, fluttering back and forth and hovering just beyond Tifa's line of sight. She watches as it moves in closer, eventually settling on her wrist that rests on Cloud's shoulder, just above her friendship bracelet.

"Cloud, don't move!"

He freezes, blinking as he leans back and glances over his shoulder. They both watch the butterfly for long moments as it perches, its wings folding together, Tifa holding her breath. It sits there for a long moment with its legs tickling her skin, and when she giggles at the feel of it, it takes flight again.

"So cool!" she exclaims excitedly.

Cloud smiles silently at her, then turns back around. His heels kick at the side of the bike.

"Yeah," he says, watching as the butterfly takes off for the sunlight. "Where do you want to go next?"

Tifa thinks. "To the Gold Saucer!" she cries, leaning her head on Cloud's shoulder.

He pretends the rev the bike again, their imaginations taking them far away. They stay there for hours, the butterflies and the waning sunlight their backdrop. Tifa holds onto Cloud, forgetting about everything beyond the border of this forgotten field. He squeezes the handlebars again, and the beads on his bracelet shine verdant and bold in the sun.

He is definitely her best friend.