Greetings. I present to you the latest chapter. I noticed as I was reviewing a previous chapter that the notes stated that the story would be over in 3-4 chapters. That is inaccurate at this point, as the story has suddenly taken yet another unexpected turn (I love it when the muse strikes and sends me to strange places). I'm hoping you'll enjoy the direction and the additional chapters.

Reviews are appreciated and treasured, as always, so don't be shy. I especially appreciate suggestions and constructive criticism. I'll never grow as a writer otherwise.

Enjoy!

8/4/08

Chapter 14: Desperation

He had intended to leave as soon as he packed up what little had survived the attack, but once he'd made it out of the building, Naruto found himself looking back and staring at the remains of his apartment. The outside of the building betrayed nothing of the destruction inside, but Naruto had more than enough images of how the apartment had come to be destroyed to haunt his nightmares for a while to come. He wasn't particularly fond of the place, but it had been home for the majority of his life. It had been the only place he'd been allowed to live in, and Naruto wondered how much of a hassle it was going to be to talk someone else into renting to him. After one last look, Naruto picked up the bag that now held all of his remaining possessions and walked away.

When he reached Sakura's house, where he'd be staying until he found another apartment, he thought about how, six years ago, he would have been ecstatic at the opportunity to spend time with her and would have been wasting no time thinking of ways to get her to notice him and fall for him. A grin split his features at the schemes he used to come up with, none of which ever worked. When Sakura finally opened the door, his grin only widened.

"What's so funny?" she asked as she ushered him into her house.

"I'm just remembering my old crush, Sakura-chan," Naruto said. "I would have killed to spend time with you like this back then."

Sakura smiled, but Naruto could see sadness in her eyes. Naruto's grin disappeared as her smile also faltered.

"I'm sorry, Sakura, you know I don't feel like that anymore. It was just a joke."

It was true that he didn't have a crush on Sakura. He loved her, of that he made no secret, but it wasn't that kind of love anymore. She was a dear person to him, and he'd die to protect her if necessary. Their friendship had grown to where they could joke about how stupid they'd been when they were younger, which is why he hadn't hesitated to bring it up.

"It's ok, Naruto," she said and took his bag. "It just sometimes hits me that I was so blind and so selfish, and that I really hurt you."

They'd had this conversation before as well, but Naruto had a feeling that no matter how many times they had it, or how often he told Sakura that he was over it, she'd still carry the guilt.

"You're letting me stay at your place until I can figure out where to go," Naruto said, "I can't think of a better way to show that we're ok as we are now."

Sakura smiled, and then her expression darkened. "I swear, Naruto, if I see you in my bedroom rifling through my underclothes, I will bash your face in."

Naruto shook his head in denial. Sakura didn't have to know that the thought had gone through his head several times already. If he were crafty enough…

"I promise to be good," he said.

"You better," she replied. "You'll be staying in the guest bedroom at the back of the house, and I think that you've been here enough to know where everything is, but I can show you around again if you'd like."

"Nah, I think I'll be fine."

"Is that all that was left?" she asked, looking at the bag.

"Yup," Naruto said. "Most of my clothes were destroyed, as was all of the furniture. My weapons survived, though not too well. I'll need to clean them and reassess how useful they still are. It looks like I'll have to start over."

"What will you do now?" Sakura asked.

Naruto shrugged. "With everything that's going on, I haven't really had time to give it much thought. I'll need to find someone else willing to rent to me and go from there."

"Why don't you buy a house?" Sakura asked. "It doesn't have to be big, and at least you'd own it and wouldn't have to put up with anyone else giving you dirty looks or bad mouthing you every time you left your apartment."

Naruto pondered the suggestion. He'd always thought a house would be too big for him, but perhaps if he could find a small one, he could make it work.

"I'll think about it," he said.

Sakura nodded. "I can help if you want. Now, how about we make some dinner?"

Sasuke's jaw hurt from where he'd been clenching it ever since he and Kakashi had left the hospital. Sasuke been left at the front door of his house with instructions to pack some clothes for the next couple of weeks while Kakashi went to talk to the ninja still investigating the dojo. What they could still possibly learn after all the time that had already passed was unknown to Sasuke, and it annoyed him that so many people were on the grounds.

Unwilling to make whatever Kakashi had planned easy for the elder ninja, Sasuke went into the kitchen and rummaged inside the refrigerator for the remains of the food Sakura had brought him. He wasn't particularly hungry, but since he didn't have much to pack, this was the only way he had to stall. He smelled the food first to make sure that it was still good before heating it up. Sasuke had just sat down to eat when Kakashi came to get him.

"I thought I told you to pack," Kakashi said.

"I was hungry," Sasuke lied. "Help yourself," Sasuke added, gesturing to the dish in the middle of the table.

Kakashi looked at him as he ate, but didn't join him. Sasuke couldn't tell much from the man's expression, but could sense annoyance in the shifting of his chakra.

"I had dinner planned for when we got to my house," Kakashi said.

Sasuke shrugged. "As I said when we were at the hospital, I can provide for myself."

He surprised himself by eating everything that'd been left. He hadn't had much of an appetite lately, and the unpalatable hospital food hadn't helped.

"I can see why Jiraiya was concerned about this place," Kakashi said, looking around the kitchen and into the living room beyond. "It's about to fall apart."

"You exaggerate, Kakashi," Sasuke replied as he cleaned up. "This place has stood for generations. A little abandonment isn't going to destroy it. Besides, what does Jiraiya know? He's too busy chasing…" Sasuke cut the cutting comment off before it could be voiced. He was glad that his back was to Kakashi, because Sasuke couldn't help the wince at yet another unexpected comment that had popped into his head. Orochimaru's hatred for Jiraiya had been great, and Sasuke wondered just how much of that he was channeling, and how long it would last. "I thought Jiraiya was supposed to be in charge of me instead of you," Sasuke said, hoping to deflect the conversation away from what he'd almost said.

"He's been sent out of the village on a reconnaissance mission," Kakashi replied, but the tone of voice clearly stated that, while he was going along with Sasuke for the moment, the other matter was not dropped, simply delayed.

"Pity," Sasuke replied. "He was a much better conversationalist."

"You probably know more about him, don't you?"

Sasuke recognized the remark for what it was and let it go. He would not let Kakashi bait him. The man could speculate all he wanted, but the only way to get proof was for Sasuke to admit to the knowledge he had, which he wouldn't do. Not even Ibiki had been able to get that information out of him, so an amateur like Kakashi didn't stand a chance.

Kakashi followed him up to his room and wasted no time looking around while Sasuke pulled clothes out of the box of his father's clothing that he'd carried up from storage and shoved them into a small bag. He took some toiletries out of the bathroom and added them to the bag. When he was done, he found Kakashi dusting off a picture that had been left face down on his desk long ago.

"Do you want to take this?" Kakashi asked, holding out the dusty photo of Team 7 to him.

"Why bother carrying reminders of things that are long dead?" Sasuke asked. "They'll only tie you to the past."

They left the house in silence, and Sasuke resisted glancing back at the house as they made their way out of the Uchiha neighborhood. Instead of heading to where Sasuke thought Kakashi's house was, they headed into the shopping district.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked. He shifted the bag on his shoulder as the weight of it began to irritate his injury.

"Unlike you, I haven't had dinner yet and I need to pick up a few things," Kakashi said.

"If you tell me where your house is, I can meet you there."

"And miss this opportunity to spend quality time with you? I don't think so," Kakashi said. "Besides, I don't know what you like to eat, and I can't ask you if you're not around."

As they headed deeper into town, Sasuke concentrated and cast out his senses for any potential threat. The looks and whispers of the civilians he ignored, instead focusing on the ninja they passed along the way, whose chakra spiked as soon as they saw him. Sasuke noticed that some reached for their weapons while others simply gave him and Kakashi a wide berth. One came as close as bumping Sasuke as he passed, to which even Kakashi reacted.

"Watch it," Kakashi called out to the man, but the ninja continued as if he hadn't heard.

"I think he has a right to his anger," Sasuke replied, not bothering to lower his voice. "They all do."

When they reached the store Kakashi wanted, Sasuke hung back. "I'm going to Inoue-san's shop, Kakashi," Sasuke said. "I'll wait for you there, since it's on the way back out of the market place."

"What part of you being here for me to ask you what you want to eat didn't you understand?" Kakashi asked, his eyebrows rising in an expression that clearly questioned whether Sasuke had any intelligence.

"I don't really care about food," Sasuke said, "but I would like to go and make sure that I still have a job tomorrow."

"Fine," Kakashi replied, "but don't complain when all I buy to feed you is the nastiest vegetables."

Sasuke suddenly flashed back to a similar scene more than a decade past.

"But I don't like the Daikon radish," four-year-old Sasuke said to his older brother as they stood in front of their aunt's shop. "Mom didn't tell you to buy that."

Itachi turned to Sasuke and smirked. "Mom told me to buy vegetables for dinner. She didn't say that I had to get the ones you liked," he teased.

"Okay then, no Daikon radish," Kakashi said.

"What?" Sasuke said, brought back to the present by Kakashi's words.

"You said you didn't like Daikon radish," Kakashi replied, studying him. "I don't like it either, so you'll get no argument from me."

Sasuke looked away. "I'll meet you by Inoue's shop," he said and left Kakashi at the entrance to the store.

He was halfway to the shop when he picked up the men that were following him. Because he was being watched by Kakashi, and because the Hokage needed every available ANBU helping in preparations for the incoming invasion, Sasuke no longer had ANBU trailing him. As the men got closer, Sasuke recognized them as the group that had attacked him on his first day around the village. He wasn't 100 percent sure that they were heading for him, so Sasuke kept walking towards his destination. When there was no doubt that the men were heading for him, he bypassed Inoue-san's shop and headed out of the shopping district. If there was going to be a confrontation, he didn't want it to be around civilians.

"What's the matter, Sasuke, getting soft already? What's a couple of puny civilians? It'll be fun to see them get slaughtered."

Sasuke's head whipped around so fast that his back screamed in agony at the sudden movement.

"Who is there?" he asked.

"I'm inside your mind where you'll never be able to get rid of me."

Sasuke's breath caught in his throat as the all too familiar voice reverberated inside his head. He closed his eyes and concentrated, drawing himself into that place deep inside his mind where he'd resided for the years he'd been Orochimaru's host. The safe haven in his mind had been empty ever since he had left it when Naruto destroyed Orochimaru, but it now had a new inhabitant.

"Nice little place you have here, Sasuke," Orochimaru said, gesturing at the training area that surrounded them. "No wonder I was unable to completely break you during all those years."

"You're dead," Sasuke said, "this isn't real."



"You should know by now that I'm very hard to kill," Orochimaru said as he advanced on Sasuke, who was frozen where he stood. "I should thank you for this place. When that blonde brat decided to get rid of me, I was able to store a piece of myself here."

"This is my mind, my body," Sasuke said with bravado he barely felt. He was shaking; the nightmare he thought had finally been over was suddenly standing before him once again. Not only that, but Orochimaru had managed to inhabit the one place in his mind that had been out of reach to him before. "You're not getting control again."

Orochimaru laughed, and the sound sent chills down Sasuke's spine.

"You amuse me, child," the snake said. "You have my memories and my skills. It's only a matter of time before I regain the body to put them to good use."

Orochimaru's hands were suddenly around Sasuke's neck. Sasuke's hands wrapped around the elder ninja's arms, but he couldn't break the hold.

"Stupid child, you don't stand a chance against me."

Kakashi left the store intent on putting some decent food into the wayward teenager he was now in charge of. He wasn't the best cook, but he knew his way around the kitchen. Besides, if he could get Sasuke to eat three decent meals a day, maybe he could put some weight back on that lanky body. Sasuke had lost some weight since the time Naruto had brought him back from Oto, and Kakashi wasn't sure if it was because of the trauma of the return, the stress of what had happened since, or if the young man simply hadn't had enough money to buy food. Either way, now that Kakashi was responsible for him, he hoped that was one less thing the young man had to worry about.

When Kakashi got to Inoue's shop, he found that it was closed. Frowning, he looked around hoping to see Sasuke waiting for him outside one of the other shops. When he didn't see Sasuke, Kakashi made his way out of the shopping district, figuring that if Sasuke was going to wait for him, it'd be in a less crowed area. He'd walked ten feet when he saw someone lying face down on the ground. The long, loose hair immediately tipped him off to who it was. Kakashi set the bag he'd been carrying on the ground beside Sasuke and turned the young man around. He tried to, at least, but wasn't able to get the body to move. As he felt around, Kakashi realized that Sasuke's hair had been unbound to hide the two kunai that had been imbedded at Sasuke's shoulders. They hadn't pierced the skin, but they were pinning Sasuke's shirt to the ground. When he'd gotten the kunai out, Kakashi pulled the paper that had been wrapped to the handle of one of them and read the note made up of torn pieces of newspaper.

"Murdering Snake," Kakashi read out loud.

Kakashi crumpled the paper and shoved it, and the two kunai, into the pocket of his vest. He'd have someone in investigations examine the pieces for evidence once he'd gotten Sasuke home. 

As he was turning Sasuke over, he felt dampness on his hands and cursed. The wound on Sasuke's back must have re-opened.

Kakashi propped Sasuke against his legs so that the wound wouldn't be aggravated further. Sasuke's eyes were open, but staring at something only he could see. Kakashi tapped Sasuke's cheek, hoping for a reaction, but there was none. His hand went to Sasuke's neck to feel for a pulse, and that did garner a reaction.

"NO!" Sasuke screamed, and wrapped both of his hands around Kakashi's arm.

"Sasuke, calm down, it's me," Kakashi said.

"Let go of me," Sasuke said, his voice betraying fear. His eyes were still not focused on Kakashi, and Kakashi couldn't remember a time where he'd seen Sasuke look as scared and as vulnerable as he did now.

"Sasuke, snap out of it!" Kakashi said and shook Sasuke's shoulders. When that didn't work, Kakashi focused just enough chakra into his hands for a mild electric shock. Sasuke's body jerked, and his eyes closed momentarily. When they opened again, Sasuke was finally focused on Kakashi.

Sasuke pushed Kakashi away and got to his feet, but wouldn't meet Kakashi's eyes.

"What happened?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke's chakra was fluctuating wildly, and Kakashi hoped that no one else happened to come by, especially no one that reported directly to the Hokage. After a few moments, however, Sasuke's chakra all but disappeared, and his body relaxed. He brushed his hair out of his face and looked around as if nothing had happened.

"What are you looking for?" Kakashi asked.

"My hair tie and my bag," Sasuke said, finding neither. "Those bastards," he muttered.

"What bastards?" Kakashi asked.

"There were four or five of them," Sasuke said, still not looking directly at Kakashi. "They were following me. They must have taken my bag."

"If you knew they were there, how did they manage to knock you out?"

"They must have gotten to me when…" Sasuke trailed off. "Ask Jiraiya, he knows who they are."



Sasuke finally met Kakashi's eyes, and there was something there that hadn't been there before. Kakashi couldn't quite pinpoint it, but he knew for certain that Sasuke was lying about at least part of what had happened.

"This happened before?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, on the first night I was allowed out," Sasuke replied. "Jiraiya scared them off."

Sasuke turned around and started walking back towards the Uchiha neighborhood.

"Where are you going?" Kakashi asked.

"They took my clothes," Sasuke said. "I need to rummage around my house for more."

"Leave it until tomorrow," Kakashi said, "you can borrow some of mine for tonight."

"We're halfway there now, Kakashi."

"I need to get you home," Kakashi said.

"Why?" Sasuke asked. "Can't it wait an hour?"

"You can't feel it?" Kakashi asked, taking a closer look at Sasuke, who seemed genuinely puzzled at Kakashi's insistence that they go to his house immediately.

"Feel what? The ninja didn't injure me."

"They didn't have to, Sasuke. You were already injured. Whatever they did re-opened the wound on your back."

Frowning, Sasuke reached behind him to feel at the wet cloth. He seemed surprised when his fingers came away bloody.

"That's why I can't wait an hour. I need to re-bandage that before it gets worse."

Sasuke looked at him, and for a moment Kakashi thought he saw indecision on Sasuke's face. The indecision lasted only a moment, however, because it was soon replaced by indifference.

"A little blood isn't going to kill me, but if you insist, then lead the way," Sasuke said.

Kakashi picked up the bag of groceries and led the way to his house. Sasuke had been a little less defensive, a little more open, when they'd left the hospital. Now, however, Sasuke was as closed off and defensive as he'd been the first night Kakashi had seen him after his return. Something had caused the relapse, and Kakashi vowed to find out what it was.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Sakura?" Naruto asked.

"Of course it's a good idea to stop by with dinner. What do two bachelors know about cooking decent meals?" she said by way of explanation.

"Kakashi has been a bachelor for a long time, I'm sure he's learned to cook by now," Naruto insisted.

"Naruto, don't tell me that you don't want to stop by Kakashi's house and see how much trouble those two have gotten into?" Sakura asked, a gleam in her eye that reminded him of those times when he'd said or done something stupid and she'd hit him.

Naruto chuckled. "Sakura, your evil streak scares me," he said. "It's only been a half day since they were discharged from the hospital, so I doubt they could have gotten into much trouble during that time."

Sakura grinned and quickened her pace. Once they'd reached the modest house, she motioned for Naruto to knock but the door hadn't been properly closed and swung open as soon as he put his hand on the worn wood. They let themselves in, and the scene they walked in on certainly wasn't what they'd been expecting

"What happened?" Sakura asked. She shoved the food she'd been carrying at Naruto and rushed to the couch, where Kakashi was re-bandaging the wound on Sasuke's back. Naruto couldn't help a grimace when he caught a glimpse of it.

"A group of ninja jumped him," Kakashi said as he moved aside to let Sakura take a look.

"They won?" Naruto asked. "Sasuke, you're losing your touch, man."

"This is the wound from Kabuto, right?" Sakura asked. Her earlier humor had all but disappeared.

"Yes," Sasuke replied.

"Kabuto damaged the cells, which is why the wound isn't healing as it should," Sakura said. "I can close it again, but you'll have to be careful not to reopen it. Do that too many times and it'll be harder to heal."

Sakura went to work and had the wound closed as much as she could in a few minutes. She re-bandaged it and helped Sasuke sit up. Kakashi threw him a shirt and Sasuke quickly put it on.

"Who attacked you, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"What difference does it make?" Sasuke replied.



"It makes a lot of difference," Naruto insisted, "those men need to be punished."

Sasuke managed a bitter bark of laughter. "Keep dreaming," he said. "It's not like the Hokage can do anything about it."

Naruto opened his mouth to argue some more, but an icy glare from Sasuke stopped him. "Drop it, Naruto."

Naruto clenched his jaw in frustration. 'Stubborn bastard,' he thought.

Kakashi rummaged inside his vest and pulled out two kunai and a note. "They left evidence this time, so I'm not going to drop it," he said. "I will find who owned these kunai and make sure word gets to the Hokage."

"What does the note say?" Sakura asked.

"Murdering Snake" Kakashi read. "It's not very original if you ask me."

Sasuke didn't react to the note's content, which made Naruto wonder if this sort of thing had happened before. He was about to ask when Sakura interrupted.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" she asked Sasuke.

"No," Sasuke replied.

Kakashi turned to Naruto and, noticing the food he was still holding, beamed. "You brought us food," he said. Kakashi's forced cheerfulness sounded hollow and fake, but Naruto decided that it was probably best to let the matter go for the moment.

"Sakura's cooking," Naruto said.

"That saves me from actually having to cook."

Kakashi took the food from Naruto and headed into the kitchen to heat and serve it. Naruto turned back to the living room where Sakura was examining Sasuke's other wound. Sasuke was wound tighter than a clock and looked like it was taking all of his willpower not to shove Sakura away. The wall that Naruto had felt had come down a little after his conversation with Sakura and Sasuke at the hospital was back up and stronger than ever. Sasuke felt as unreachable as if he was still in another village, and Naruto wondered again if they'd done the right thing by bringing Sasuke back.

"The other wound is healing better," Sakura said. "If you have any problems, let me know."

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, and Naruto hated feeling like he couldn't say or ask what he wanted for fear of crossing a line he was unaware of and pushing Sasuke even further away. He clenched his fists and turned away from his former teammates, choosing 

instead to look out of the window. Did Sasuke even want to be back? Had he been happier with Orochimaru? Naruto shuddered at the thought, but realized that he'd never asked Sasuke. Not that Sasuke would have given him an honest answer even if he'd asked.

Naruto sighed and leaned his forehead against the cool glass. It would be very easy to walk out of the house and never look back, leaving Kakashi and Sakura to deal with Sasuke. It was tempting, and Naruto felt guilty for even acknowledging the option. What kind of friend was he if he was thinking of running away? He wasn't a quitter, and he was half responsible for the situation, so he couldn't run away. Sasuke was his friend, even if the friendship seemed mostly one-sided.

He was saved from further musings by Kakashi's announcement that dinner was ready. Sakura met his eyes as she passed him, and Naruto could see similar doubts in her eyes. Perhaps they'd made a mistake in bringing Sasuke back to Konoha after all.

Once dinner was over, Sasuke used his injury as an excuse to get away from the tense atmosphere of the kitchen. They'd eaten mostly in silence, and Sasuke was glad that he'd eaten at his house earlier because he'd not had much of an appetite while sharing the dinner table with his former teammates. Sakura's worried looks and Kakashi's appraising stares were one thing, but Sasuke had found Naruto's anger the hardest to deal with. Sasuke couldn't tell if Naruto was angry at him or at something else, and it bothered Sasuke that he might have been the cause.

After Kakashi had shown Sasuke where he'd be sleeping, the elder ninja had gone back to the others. Sasuke heard them talking and, since he was sure they were talking about him, had done his best to tune them out. Once Sakura and Naruto left, Kakashi had retired to his own room, leaving the house in complete silence.

The room was a good-sized room with a bed, a dresser, and a small window. Sasuke hadn't bothered to try the window, since Kakashi had probably set up some kind of system of seals to keep Sasuke from leaving the house. Right now, however, keeping Sasuke locked inside might be to Kakashi's disadvantage if Sasuke lost the tenuous control he currently had over Orochimaru. While he'd been with the others, Sasuke had pushed the fact that he still carried a little piece of the snake out of his mind. Now that he was alone and surrounded by silence, however, ignoring it was no longer an option.

The fear that he'd shoved to the back of his mind resurfaced, leaving Sasuke cold and shaky. He'd blocked the part of his mind that had become a refuge to Orochimaru and surrounded it with barriers, but Sasuke could feel the barriers being prodded and tested and knew that they wouldn't hold Orochimaru for very long. If Orochimaru regained control of Sasuke's body now, while he was in Konoha, many people that Sasuke still cared for would die. The easiest solution would be to leave the village, but Sasuke wasn't sure if he could break Kakashi's seals, at least not without alerting Kakashi to what he was doing. The elder ninja would try to stop him, and Sasuke didn't want the man involved any more than he had to be. Orochimaru had tried to kill 

Kakashi once before and Sasuke didn't want to give the snake the opportunity to try one more time.

There was another option, one he could exercise without anyone ever having to know that Orochimaru was still alive. Sasuke walked to the door and paused, wondering if this door had been sealed as well. After a few moments of indecision, Sasuke decided to take the chance and opened the door. He paused on the threshold, but nothing happened. Sighing in relief, Sasuke left the room and made his way to the kitchen. As silently as he could and using the moonlight coming in through the high window for illumination, he opened drawers and cabinets until he found what he was looking for: a kitchen knife. It probably wasn't as sharp as a kunai, but it was all he could get his hands on. If he died, then Orochimaru would die with him. Sasuke didn't see much of a problem with that.

"Looking for something?"

Sheer willpower kept Sasuke from reacting to the unexpected voice, and years of training himself not to show weakness to Kabuto or Orochimaru kept the surprise from showing in his voice.

"I wanted water," Sasuke said.

"The cups are in the cupboard to your right, not in that drawer," Kakashi said.

Sasuke shut the drawer and opened the indicated cupboard to pull out a glass. He filled it with water from the tap and was halfway to his room when Kakashi's voice stopped him.

"We want to help you, Sasuke. If there's something wrong, I hope you know that you can tell us."

Sasuke continued on into the room and shut the door on Kakashi's offer. He could tell them what was going on, but what good would that do? He'd only be putting them in more danger than he already had. No, Orochimaru was his problem, and Sasuke would deal with it one way or another, hopefully before anyone got hurt.

As I said earlier, it's the muse's fault. However, now that the damage has been done, I plan on taking full advantage of it. Naruto and Sasuke might not like me too much for it, though. Until next time.