7
After the toe curling kiss Edward turned to leave. I was stunned, and a bit hurt. He didn't even wait to retrieve his shirt and that was downright rude. I could have stayed in the hot spring and watched the others make out if I had known he was going to run out on me.
I took a shower and wondered if he went back to the dance to make good on his commitment to dance with the older woman. I was so confused and didn't know if I should chase him harder or move on to an easier target.
I turned in early for the night and never heard Rose or Alice come home. I woke up feeling almost sick by the constant itching. I got in the tub and then applied the Desitin cream before heading out for breakfast. Meditation hour had just ended and both Rose and Alice had been in attendance. I walked over to where they stood in line and waited for them to fill me in.
"How did it go with Edward?" they both asked.
"Great," I lied. "He's one hot preacher."
They both laughed and something told me they knew nothing happened. I turned the conversation back to them. "Did things go well with muscles and the brain?"
"He's literally brilliant," Alice responded, and I wasn't sure if she knew the definition of the word Literally or Brilliant.
"I'm never dating an old man again," Rose said with a giggle.
"You're both deranged," I mumbled, because I was jealous.
We made it to the food table and I looked at the fruit and cringed. I wasn't ready for that again. I got some Melba toast and coffee and went to an empty table. I was angrily dipping my hard toast into my black coffee when Edward arrived. I glared at him, but was a bit relieved the older woman wasn't with him.
"Good morning," he said with a smile.
"Really, what's good about it?" I asked.
"Well, the weather is perfect, you are one day closer to being healed, and I plan to kiss you again today," he grinned.
What nerve, as if people actually planned out kissing. "Let me clue you in, preacher boy. The weather is humid and freaks my hair, I am still getting new blisters, and I'm not going to let you kiss me today."
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because I don't like the way you kiss," I lied. I loved the way he kissed. I just didn't like the way he left after he kissed me.
"What if I let you teach me to kiss better?" he offered, but I wasn't sure I believed him. I gave him a wary look and shook my head. "No?" he asked for clarification.
"No, it would take me hours and hours to teach you. I doubt you have the time," I said, and took a bite of my soggy toast.
"You're right" he said to sadden me. "I am very busy today, so I will have to see you tonight for my lesson."
He stood and walked away without waiting for an answer. I wanted to stand and yell, "Over my dead body," but who was I kidding. I was feeling giddy inside over the prospect of kissing him for hours. Rose and Alice sat down and watched Edward walking away.
"Is he mad?" Alice asked.
"Yes, totally mad, crazy as a loon," I answered.
"Emmett told me Edward doesn't believe in premarital sex," Rose smirked.
It was just my luck, to find the one hot guy who would want to stick a ring on my finger. Jake had wanted me to marry him too. I wasn't marrying anyone. I didn't like Jake, and I didn't know Edward, but it wasn't an issue when you lied as good as I did. I would swear my undying love to Edward and get a little something before having a revelation that we were not meant to be.
I felt confident I could pull this off and smiled at Rose, "I don't think he is opposed to having sex with a fiancé."
"You want to marry him?" Alice gasped.
"Sure, why not," I said with a shrug.
"It would be so amazing to marry here," Alice sighed, and Rose looked at me like I had gone insane.
"You don't even know him," Rose pointed out.
"I know everything I need to know," I lied. "We have talked more than I ever talked to Jake."
Alice looked at Rose with wide eyes and said, "I need to talk to Jasper more."
"No, you don't," I said quickly. "Jasper isn't religious; he doesn't care to know what you're thinking."
I had to keep Alice from showing him her brain was as small as everything else on her body, except her breasts, she had great breasts. I wasn't going to really marry Edward and it was a ridiculous notion that only Alice would believe. But I did find the challenge intriguing.
I spent the day lying on my bed with my feet on the arms of a chair and a fan blowing directly onto my airless area. I was hoping to dry up the blisters and start the shedding process. I had earbuds in and was singing loudly to the song, I love the Way You Lie, when Edward walked into my room.
I screamed and dropped my feet as he turned every shade of red and spun around so only his back faced me.
"Don't you knock?" I yelled.
"I did, several times," he responded.
I pulled the earbuds out of my ears and threw them at him. "I guess this means we're engaged," I sighed.
"What?" he laughed.
"If a preacher sees your Holy land don't you have to marry?"
He finally turned back around to look at me, or at least at the part of me that has a working mouth. "I came to see if you want to attend a group session I'm giving tonight on a boat."
"You're not going to walk on water are you?" I asked, and kind of wondered if he could.
"No, but I will offer both water and wine to drink," he teased. I could sense there was more to this boat ride than he was telling me. But I was bored out of my mind so I decided to agree.
"What should I wear?" I asked.
He laughed and turned to leave as he threw out a suggestion. "Underwear would be a nice change."
"Don't act so Holy Father, I've seen your spirit stick too you know," I yelled after him. Of course I saw it due to water on his guru outfit, not spread eagle in front of my eyes.
I got ready by applying the thick, sticky cream and dressed as cute as a diseased cootchie can before heading to join the group at the boat dock. Most of the other participants were couples and I wondered if we were going to work on kissing after all. I was good with it, since he would have to jump off the boat to leave me.
Edward helped me onto the boat and whispered, "You look beautiful."
"You're just saying that because my legs are closed," I said a bit too loudly. The others looked at Edward like they were losing faith in him.
We rode to the far side of the island and out further into the ocean. At a certain point the boat stopped and all the lights shut off. It was completely dark, without only moonlight shining off the water. Edward sat in front of everyone and spoke softly.
"I want you to listen," he said.
We all sat quietly and all that could be heard was the sound of waves hitting against the boat. It was a slow sloshing noise that sounded almost musical. He finally spoke again and said, "If this turned out to be your final moment, what would you regret?"
"Getting on this boat," I called out and everyone laughed.
"We are too far from land to swim, the radio is out, and the boat is sinking….think to yourself what you would be feeling," he instructed, totally ignoring my outburst.
I thought about my class and how much I would miss them. I thought about my parents, and wondered if my death would bring them closer or separate them more. Then I thought of Edward and how much fun I had with him. And of course, how much fun I would miss out on with him.
I looked up at his expression and he was sitting with his face up at the moonlight and I could see traces of tears. I wondered what he was thinking. He finally addressed the group again. "If this was your last moment on earth, did you live up to your potential?"
Everyone shook their heads back and forth and I noticed how the couples began to sit a little closer to each other.
"Did you hurt people you loved?"
We all nodded.
"Did you offer forgiveness to those who wronged you?"
We shook our heads back and forth in unison.
"It isn't too late," he whispered. "Get rid of the regret and live each day as if it were your last. Sometimes we have to be reminded to be still and know that He is God. It is the 'be still' part that we have trouble with."
He stopped talking and we all sat silently as we felt a desire to change and be better. I finally stood and walked over to Edward. He smiled and opened his arms so I wrapped mine around him and we held each other quietly.
The other couples began to mumble and whisper to each other. Kisses and apologies could be heard and I spoke into Edward's ear, "You are freaking amazing."
He chuckled and whispered back. "I'd kiss you, but you don't like the way I kiss."
"I'll regret it forever if I don't kiss you right now," I admitted truthfully and planted a good one on him.
The boat began to cheer and I felt the need to perform further, but luckily Edward didn't. The engine started and we made our way back to the island. We all climbed off the boat and everyone thanked Edward as he smiled and wished them all a good night.
When everyone was gone I held out my hand for Edward's and when he took it I started walking toward the bungalows.
"Bella," he said softly. "I'm not sure we should go back to your room."
Well, I was sure. I could be sure for both of us. He had already seen my entire body, and I had glimpses of his. "Is it a religious thing?" I asked him.
He ran his hands into my hair and kissed me before he answered. "I've made some really big mistakes when it comes to women, I don't want you to be another one."
"So what are we going to do, skip around the island and play hopscotch? I'm not naïve Edward. I'm sure you have a new girl every three weeks, just like Jasper and Emmett."
"Most women wouldn't dream of hitting on a Pastor, so no I don't have new women every three weeks. I spend most of my time with couples teaching them to reconnect," he informed me.
"Maybe you're spending so much time reconnecting people that you are forgetting to connect yourself. I'm not going to jump you, but I wouldn't mind holding you closely for a bit," I said to tempt him.
He looked right into my eyes as he struggled with his conscience. I didn't wait for him to make a decision; I took his hand and led him to my bungalow. I didn't turn on any lights; I just pulled him into a big chair and sat down with him.
"Okay, Mr. Masen. When kissing you need to be in the moment. Don't think about what is coming or when you should leave. Just kiss for the sake of kissing," I instructed.
"And it won't get out of hand?" he asked.
I shook my head so I wouldn't have to verbally lie. Our mouths were getting closer and closer together and his arms were pulling me tighter to his body. Just as we connected into a deep tongue kiss the lights came on and Esme walked into the room. And she didn't even knock.
8
Esme Cullen was only about ten years older than me, but her presence filled the room. I naturally cowered in front of her and Edward looked like he was caught molesting a saint. She put her hands on her hips and then looked around the room.
"Are Emmett and Jasper here?"
"No," I said quickly, in case she thought I was entertaining her entire staff in my room.
"What's going on?" she asked us both directly.
"I was…um…kissing Ms. Swan," Edward said guiltily.
"And that is all because I have an out of order vagina," I said to let her know kissing was all we were doing. "If you don't believe me ask your husband."
I took the situation from bad to worse and didn't even realize it. Edward quickly explained about the poison ivy so Carlisle wouldn't be turned into fish bait.
Esme sighed and then sat down in a chair, as if she was going to join us for the evening. I don't care if she owns the resort, I'm not teaching her to kiss, too.
"The reasons for the rules are to keep us free from legal action," she explained.
"I'm not going to sue, Edward and I are in love," I lied. "We had a WHAM moment when are eyes met across the room. This is a forever kind of feeling, not a vacation fling." I thought it sounded convincing and she let a small smile form across her face so I continued. "We're talking marriage; of course I don't have a ring yet, so it isn't official."
She rushed over to where we were sitting and hugged us both tightly. "I'm so happy for you Edward. You deserve this more than anyone I know."
Wait, why did he deserve it more than anyone else? Was there something I didn't know? Was he deformed somewhere important or emotionally incapable of a relationship? I suddenly wished I knew my fake fiancé better. There is nothing worse than being the ignorant girl with the loser guy.
She left the bungalow and I looked at Edward to see if he was upset at the cover I used. He didn't appear upset, he looked….hot. His eyes were dark and he pulled me back to his mouth and kissed me with a vengeance. The kissing was great, but his strategically placed thigh was even better.
All I could think was, Ahh, yeah right there.
Until Alice came through the door. Edward immediately pulled away from my mouth and I had a thought which I let escape from my mouth, "Why aren't we at your bungalow?"
He chuckled and got up to leave, and didn't invite me along, so I made do with Alice. She sat down on the sofa and smiled widely at me.
"How are Pinky and the Brain?"
"I think I'm in love," she sighed.
"In one week?" I asked, before I declared my own obsession with my priest.
"I've never loved a guy for his mind before. Jasper teaches me so much," she confessed and I nodded, assuming it was the truth.
"Does he know you work for your daddy?" I asked, and it took a lot to use the word 'work'.
"I think my father would love him," she said as she appeared deep in thought. I was certain her father would love Jasper; he could let him finish raising Alice without worry.
"Well, I'm feeling better so I think I'll attend the regular schedule tomorrow," I said and headed off to bed. I wasn't so sure when the alarm went off before sunrise.
I had to force myself out of the bed. I applied my cream and put on the jammies before heading off the meditation. Jasper looked shocked to see me, and thrilled to see Alice. She sat in the front of the room as I made my way to the back next to Rose. I scooted my mat next to the wall and leaned against it with my eyes closed.
"Bella?" I heard someone call softly. I opened my eyes to see Jasper kneeling in front of me. "Are you thinking of the day ahead and how you can make it better?"
I was actually sleeping, which would have made the day much better, but he ruined it for me. "Yes," I whispered. "I was thinking how great it would be if Jasper would shut the hell up."
"Good girl," he said and patted my leg as if I was a dog. The guy was really beginning to bug me.
When the sun rose we were allowed to head to breakfast. I needed coffee right away or there was a real possibility someone was going to be hurt. I poured a cup and sat down just as Edward walked up. I held up my finger to make him wait and took a big gulp, "Okay, go ahead," I told him.
"Good morning, love," he said with a grin.
Love, did he really just call me love? I didn't have near enough coffee in my system for that. "Yeah, what you said," I replied, only capable of lying so much.
"I heard you went to meditation," he said proudly. I had heard that tone of voice from my parents when I actually attended classes instead of sneaking off with friends to hang out at the mall.
"Well, I do need to pass after all," I said cynically. It wasn't a good idea to let him see morning Bella. I should have let him keep the illusion that I was always chipper, but come on, when was I ever chipper?
Rose came over with Emmett and sat down without speaking. I finally realized she hadn't spoken all morning. I watched her as she ate silently. Alice came to the table with Jasper and said loudly, "I read that chapter about transcendental meditation. I need to find a mantra."
"How about this one," I suggested, "This is crap, this is crap, this is crap."
Alice rolled her eyes and looked at Jasper. "She's so clueless," she said and I laughed loudly.
Rose smiled softly and went back to her eating. "Are you okay?" I asked her.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Do you like teaching kids?" she asked me out of the blue.
My mouth fell open in surprise. She had never once asked me about my job. "Um…as opposed to animals?" I asked.
"I guess I meant do you like kids?"
"Some of them, some days," I responded.
She nodded and went back to her silent eating. At that moment Esme walked to the microphone. "Today is an especially wonderful morning," she said, and I turned to look out the window but didn't see anything spectacular.
"I have an announcement. I want to be the first to wish Edward and Bella congratulations on their engagement," she said.
I choked and Edward put his hand on my back lovingly. Rose and Alice both glared at me hatefully. The room erupted in applause and a collective mantra of, "Speech, speech."
Edward stood and I pulled him back down to the chair as everyone laughed. He took something from his pocket and held out a box for me. "I know it isn't a diamond, but it belonged to my grandmother and I would like you to have it."
Okay, there was no mention of the word marriage or engagement, so he wanted to give me a gift, that was all. I reached out for it and then remembered the word 'grandmother' and my hand pulled back. "It's a family heirloom," I said to remind him.
"Yes, and it is yours now," he said and placed it in my hand.
The room cheered again and I felt like I needed to make it worth their effort to clap, so I kissed him like we were sharing pancakes in our mouths. Then things got awkward. We sat next to each other silently, not sure what the hell just happened. Alice, as clever as always, asked, "Are you engaged?"
"Sure?" I replied, because I was so conditioned to lie.
I noticed Edward's head dropped and he smiled widely. I wanted to smack the grin off of his face, but I didn't know what it meant so I refrained. I looked down at the box and wasn't sure which finger to put the ring on. I opened the lid to sneak a peek and about pissed my pants.
The ring was huge, and covered in emeralds. So I had a huge green seaweed looking ring. It was hideous and I had to act like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Luckily I was such a good liar. "Wow, it is so unique. I can't wait to wear it," I said and even fanned myself a bit.
"Put it on now," Edward said.
"I'm afraid I would lose it," I explained and Emmett saved me.
"We have cardio next so she should take it back to her room."
"Yes, I should," I agreed and quickly stood.
"I'll go with you," Edward said and took my hand in his. We kept being stopped every two feet as people wished us well. By the time we made it to the door I truly felt like an engaged woman.
We walked to my bungalow in silence and Edward was smiling the entire way. I finally turned to him and said, "Edward, we only have two weeks left."
"I know, I'll talk to Esme," he said and I felt a huge relief. I wasn't going to have to pretend to be engaged to a man I just wanted to bed. He would take Esme's wrath and I would be happily oblivious. The day was turning out pretty good after all.
I put the ring next to my Desitin, thinking it would keep anyone from stealing it, when actually just the sight of it would deter any would be thief. I headed to cardio as Edward headed to his session. Emmett's idea of cardio and mine were two different things. I wanted to sweat lightly to achieve a healthy glow. He wanted me panting and gasping for water.
I was considering heading into the jungle to find a poisonous plant just as class ended. Emmett handed out some towels but I was drenched. I walked over to Rose and said, "Let's go take a shower before we have our session with Edward."
She looked at me but obviously wasn't listening. "Bella, do you think I would be a good mother?"
"What is all this about? You can't be pregnant in one week," I said softly so Emmett wouldn't hear.
"Emmett said he wants a big family and I never considered having kids. It wasn't something I looked for in a marriage," she explained, and I laughed.
"Are you thinking of marrying Emmett?" I asked.
"No, but what if most men think about that? How many kids does Edward want?"
How the hell would I know how many kids he wanted, I was just keeping his family ring as a way to keep Esme off his back about sleeping with me? And I wasn't even sure that would get him to give it up.
"He doesn't feel any pressure to start a family right away," I lied, but it sounded like we had talked about it.
"How old is he?" she asked.
"Um…"
"You don't know?" she said, and covered her mouth to keep from squealing.
"Yes, I know, I just have to keep it quiet because he is a Pastor. It is something he isn't supposed to share."
I realized it wasn't Alice I was talking to, but Rose seemed to accept the lie just as easily. She nodded and looked at her watch. "We don't have time to shower, let's go."
We went into a room with chairs in a half circle and Edward standing before us. I smiled up at him and tried to imagine what it would be like if music kicked on and he began to strip. But Rosalie ruined my visual by asking, "Edward, how many kids do you want?"
I loathed her at the moment.
Edward looked a bit taken back by her question and his eyes moved right to me making it all the more awkward. The room was silent and he struggled to come up with an answer. "Well," he began. "I have a different perspective than most. I have religious issued to consider. Personally I don't believe in birth control."
Done, finished, caput, I thought loudly in my head.
If he thinks I'll spit out babies with only a seaweed ring he is delusional. My fake fiancé was getting the axe.
9
The session today was about thinking beyond yourself, but I couldn't do it. I kept thinking about having a baby year after year. I looked over at Alice and realized something in an instant, I wasn't really marrying Edward, and his revulsion to birth control didn't affect me in the slightest. He wouldn't know I faithfully took my pill every morning.
I relaxed and began to enjoy looking at his gorgeous face. He had a serene manner about him that made you feel totally at peace. Not even my blisters were itching as I listened to him talk about giving back to society.
When the hour was over and we had all committed to doing something to make a difference, I think that was what we committed to do, I rushed up to where he stood. "That was great," I said with a smile.
"I'm glad you were able to make it," he said, and leaned in to kiss my sweaty cheek.
"Can we go eat?" I asked, feeling the effects of only coffee for breakfast and a strenuous workout.
"Yes, Esme and Carlisle would like us to eat with them," he said.
"Why?"
"They want to know you better."
"Do they eat better food?" I asked in hope.
"Greasy burgers, I think," he said, just to torment me.
I decided to shower first and reapply some cream as Edward waited patiently in the other room. We went to the front office and then climbed a staircase to the upper floor and into a beautiful sitting area. Carlisle came over to shake my hand and asked if I was healing properly. I nodded and hoped he didn't want to see.
We sat down and I stared at the spread of food before us, seeing nothing greasy or even a hint of meat. I sadly loaded up on fruit again.
"I wanted to talk to you both about the arrangements," Esme said. "We can shut down for a few days and have all your friends and family here as free guests."
"For what?" I asked ignorantly.
"For the wedding," Esme said enthusiastically.
All my blisters just burst at once.
"That is very kind of you," Edward offered, and I kept waiting for him to add but, but he didn't.
I stuffed my mouth with cantaloupe so I wouldn't blurt out all the filthy words I was thinking. I had to calm down and think this through. Okay, in two weeks I would leave and then call Edward and tell him I went back to Jake. The plans couldn't be too far in progression and I wouldn't cost anyone money.
I finally smiled through my fear. "Of course with my father's job as police chief it will be awhile before we can actually have the wedding," I announced.
"I'm sure he would be willing to rearrange some things," Esme said. "You can marry here and everything would be free. That would go a long way to persuade him. "
My dad would flip at the chance to marry me off for free, and to a Minister to boot. But I had to focus on reality and in reality I only wanted to sleep with the minister, not spend my life with him. Yet, it wouldn't be too horrible of a sentence to be chained to Edward Masen. At least the little I knew of him was pleasant. But the fact he wanted to wear out my uterus was an issue. I was debating in my head as the others were discussing flowers and a menu. I finally jumped up and declared I was itching badly and needed to leave.
Edward followed me down the stairs and grabbed my arm as I tried to make a run for it. "Bella, are you okay?" he asked.
"No, I need my medication," I lied. In actuality my privates were numb with fear.
"I'll go with you," he said and I shook my head and pulled my arm away.
"I'd just jump you, you know, being engaged and all, I wouldn't be able to think clearly," I said, as I backed away and then ran. I made it to my bungalow and grabbed my suitcase and began packing quickly. I needed off this island as quickly as possible.
Alice and Rose arrived after lunch and saw my frantic packing. "What's going on?" Rose asked.
"I have to leave," I cried. "My mother is very sick."
"What's wrong with her?" Alice asked as she covered her mouth and prepared to cry.
"She got cactus needles in her ass. They aren't sure they can get them out," I said in a frenzy.
"That is a lie," Rose declared and crossed her arms in anger.
"Rose," I screamed, "She may never sit again. She'll be stuck in a bed for life. She needs me."
"Seriously?" she asked.
I caved. I was so distraught I couldn't lie. I fell onto my knees and began to cry. "Oh God, I'm engaged."
Alice rushed over to hold me and began to cry along with me. Rose only shook her head and said, "I thought you loved him."
"I don't even know him. I only want him to take a dip in my baptism font," I cried into Alice's hair.
Rose huffed loudly and got onto her knees to be level with me. "Don't make me slap you, Bella," she said harshly. "This guy is great. He is beyond great, he's perfect. You spent years with that loser Jake and now you have a shot at something wonderful. Grow up."
I raised my head, because I was so ready to take her on. Who was she to chastise me? She married Hugh Hefner's father…twice! Before I got a word out she kept talking. "Bella, these men are special. We can't blow this, none of us can."
"So what… we all stand on the beach and marry them because it may be our only chance?"
"Our guys haven't asked," Rose said with a furrow of her brow.
"Listen to what you're saying," I said with a bit of hysteria. "Edward is a Pastor, who used to be a priest, who couldn't keep his pants zipped and got hurt by women, and wants thirty children. And don't even mention his crazy ass mother."
"Listen to what you're saying," she said back to me forcefully. "You teach middle school which doesn't pay enough to take a trip to a Seattle beach let alone paradise. He's loyal and believes in, til death do you part. You lie so much it would take a pastor to deal with you, anyway."
"THIRTY KIDS," I yelled, and threw my hands into the air.
"After a couple get your tubes tied, let him pray for a miracle," she suggested.
"What about his mother?" I asked in a calmer voice.
"Do you see mommy around here anywhere?" she pointed out.
I did see her point. If Edward was living far from his mother she wasn't deciding his life for him at the moment. But that left one point that Rose had to admit was a huge obstacle. "The ring is ugly."
"It can't be that bad," she laughed, so I jumped up and ran and got it. I held it out for both of them to see and they gasped loudly.
"Oh God, it's awful," Alice said.
"I'm not punishing my uterus for this," I said adamantly. "I rather keep the poison ivy."
"Bella, you are such an amateur. Rings are easy to get, hell I'll give you one of mine," she relented.
"How did you get them, if you didn't sleep with your husbands?" I asked out of curiosity.
"I pretended to try to have sex with them, they could never last long enough or get hard enough," she said, as if talking about baking.
"Gross," Alice yelled, and covered her ears.
Yeah, I was with Alice on this one. Gross.
"Well, it got you here and possibly married to a wonderful man, so you should thank me," Rose said, to defend her lifestyle.
Had our lives really come to this, ready to pounce on the first acceptable men we met to spare us from the world of dating? We're we so afraid of being alone that we would make time our enemy? Unfortunately, the answer was yes.
"Okay, I'll stay," I agreed, and hoped they didn't realize I had not agreed to the marriage.
There was a soft knock on the door and we all jumped up off the floor and I shoved the ring in my pocket. Alice answered to find Edward standing there looking worried. She let him in and they both left. I smiled, kind of.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Peachy," I lied.
"I have a free afternoon and I thought it would be a good time to talk," he said hesitantly.
I didn't want to talk. So far he was getting everything he wanted and I was getting nothing. I walked over to circle my arms around him and placed my face on his chest. "I can think of something better," I said softly.
"She was a nun," he said softly.
My head snapped up and I looked at his sad face. "Who was a nun?"
Please say mother, please say mother.
"The woman I fell in love with," he said with remorse.
Damn it! I could picture her, all perfect with her sexy habit, maybe not sexy, but alluring enough to catch his attention.
"I fell in love with a Native American," I blurted out, as if we were having a contest. Did another race trump a bride of Christ?
"I ruined everything for her and she decided she didn't want me. I won't ruin things for you Bella, I just can't."
I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Ruin what? I didn't have my virginity to steal so exactly what would he be ruining? I shrugged and asked, "Ruin what?"
"I'm here on this island because I am ashamed of the choices I've made in my life. I came here with a woman as her toy. Esme saved my soul by keeping me here. I don't deserve you," he said and he wouldn't look at me anymore.
"Edward," I said with a laugh, "Are you kidding me? I'm less than innocent, I mean, not even close to innocent, like the furthest thing from innocent you can get without making men pay. Actually Jake did pay a couple of times, but I was short on rent money and…."
"Bella," he interrupted.
"Yeah?"
"Don't confess to me, please," he said with a look of torture on his face. I wasn't sure if he was talking about the things I was saying, or the fact he didn't want to be my spiritual advisor right now, but I stopped confessing.
"Everyone has made a wrong choice or two; it is the only thing that makes us interesting. Just think how boring my trip would have been if I hadn't chosen that exact leaf?"
He rubbed his face with his hand and chuckled a bit. "Um…I think it would have been a bit more interesting for me if you hadn't."
"Really?" I asked, because if he would have climbed in my bed if I was blister free I was going to burn the damn jungle down.
He didn't answer and took a deep breath. "So, you teach," he said, confusing me completely.
"Yeah, but it is really just babysitting, I mean, who actually uses algebra?"
"I'm sure Jasper would disagree," he laughed.
"He's kind of an ass," I observed and Edward laughed harder.
"I love the man," he said, causing me to pull out of his arms. "He's my best friend."
I was relieved to hear Edward had only switched religions, not teams. Because Jasper was pretty, but I'm pretty sure a gay guy would want Emmett more.
"My family is…a lot," he finally admitted.
"Yeah, I kind of got that," I said, as I rolled my eyes behind his back.
"I think what you do is very noble, very impressive," he stammered, and I realized mommy and daddy Masen wouldn't think so.
"Would it help if they were handicapped kids?" I asked, because there were a couple of kids in my class that I wasn't quite sure were normal. I also wanted to point out his employment history was nothing to write home about.
"I'm not complaining, I just want you to know what you are getting yourself into," he explained, but he hadn't actually explained anything.
I was done with the talking part of the day, since I had no real intentions of actually getting married. I took hold of his hand and walked into my room. The drapes were still closed and the room was semi dark. I climbed onto my bed and pulled him down with me.
He was cautious and laid stiffly over half of my body. I kissed him softly up his neck and to his ear before running my tongue along the outer rim. He lost his religion and came to life.
I felt gloriously evil.