Just like the weeks before the visit to Dr. Patrick, the next two weeks also flew by. The boys enjoyed their last days of fun summer as much as possible, going outdoors as often as they could, and trying to involve themselves with things that they knew they wouldn't be able to do again for a while.
Before they knew it, it was the night before Blaine's first chemo. As the boys laid in bed together, bodies buried completely under the covers, wrapped up in one another after their nightly make-out session- a ritual that they had developed over the past few weeks- worrying thoughts began to cloud their minds. Blaine was the first to speak his thoughts aloud.
"I'm scared, Kurt." He whispered to the younger boy.
Kurt began to gently rub circles along Blaine's lower back, attempting to provide some comfort to his boyfriend.
"Me too." Kurt replied, equally as quiet, as if any loud noise might disrupt this moment.
After a few more moments of quiet thought, Blaine asked,
"What do you think it will be like? What if I can't handle it?"
Kurt was quick to answer.
"You can handle it. You're the strongest person I've ever met. You can handle anything. I'm sure of this. And if it ever feels like too much, just remember that I'll be right there. You can lean on me. Ask of me anything and I will provide as best I can. I promise you. I love you so much, Blaine. You're my world, and I hate to think of you going through this, but it's just a hurdle we'll have to jump together. We'll do the best we can."
Blaine relaxed a bit at Kurt's words, although it was impossible to dismiss his worries completely. Kurt understood, because he was still scared too. But there was nothing they could do about it, so they closed their eyes and, eventually, fell asleep, holding one another as tightly as they could, both afraid to let go.
The morning of Blaine's first chemo, Burt tried to make sure both boys were as comfortable and at ease as possible. He even made breakfast for the boys- all he could manage was toast, but he was damn proud of it anyway. Burt was upset that he wouldn't be able to be there for Blaine, but he knew there wasn't much he would be able to do during the actual chemotherapy anyway. He had looked it up on-line and discovered that the actual part of getting chemotherapy was easy and actually pretty boring. The week following chemo was the hard part, and Burt would make sure to be there when it counted. Regardless, he knew this would be a nerve-wracking experience, and he felt bad that the young boys would have to deal with it on their own. But alas, Burt had his car shop to run, and the doctor seemed to only want one person to go with Blaine, and Burt knew there was no way he could convince his son to leave the young boy's side.
Burt was so proud of his son for dealing with all of this so maturely. He was proud that he had raised his son right, although he could hardly take all the credit. He always knew Kurt had a big heart, and he was happy to see someone return the boy's feelings, for once. Burt loved Blaine like his own son, and was glad the two teenagers had found one another.
But now this cancer thing had happened... Why did bad things have to happen to such good, loving people? Not just the cancer, but the bullying and the hatred aimed at them. But Burt knew they would make it through, if they held onto one another. And Burt didn't have a doubt in his mind- what the boys felt was real, and they would last. And one day, Blaine would truly become a part of the family.
Blaine and Kurt were greeted with a warm smile from a nice looking older lady working the front desk in the chemo ward. The great thing about this woman was that she gave this smile directed at them regardless of the fact that Kurt and Blaine were currently holding hands, standing shoulder to shoulder. Kurt sighed in relief. At least they wouldn't have to worry about homophobia while at the hospital.
"Hi. I'm Blaine Anderson. I'm here for chemotherapy. This is my boyfriend Kurt. He'll be staying with me."
The nurse shuffled through some files on her desk and typed something into her computer, then looked up at the boys again, still all smiles.
"Hello, Blaine. Kurt. You're right on time. Perfect! If you will just take a seat in the waiting room, your nurse, Jamie, will be with you shortly."
Kurt and Blaine walked over to a couch in the waiting room, sitting down as close together as possible, still holding hands. They remained completely silent, not sure what was the proper thing to say while waiting for someone's first chemo treatment to begin. Luckily, they did not have to wait long before they heard a woman calling out,
"Blaine Anderson?"
The boys quickly stood and walked over to her, greeting her with polite hellos.
"You boys look scared to death." Jamie joked,
"But you have nothing to worry about. I promise. We tend to hundreds of patients a day, and the actual process of getting chemo is completely harmless. In fact, Blaine, you'll probably end up falling asleep, from all of the medicine in your system, within the first hour."
Both boys relaxed at these reassuring words, glad to hear that it would be fairly painless and easy.
"Now if you'll follow me, we just need to draw some blood from you, Blaine, then we'll get you hooked up to an IV."
Kurt and Blaine followed Jamie into the back room, passing by many cubicles- some filled with computers and desks, some filled with empty chairs and tables covered in needles and bandages, and some filled with patients being tended to.
They entered one of the cubicles filled with needles, and Jamie quickly took Blaine's blood. They then walked down the hall even further, and ended up in a large, open room, with some smaller, private rooms off to the side.
"Ok. You have two options here. You can either take a seat in the large open space and visit with your neighbors, or you can get a private room to yourselves. The choice is yours."
Kurt glanced over at Blaine in order to see what he wanted to do, but Blaine's eyes were glued to something across the room. Kurt followed his line of vision and saw an older couple glaring down at something between the boys. And oh... Kurt and Blaine were still holding hands and, apparently, not everyone approved. Looks like Kurt was wrong in thinking that he wouldn't have to worry about homophobia here.
Blaine eventually looked over at Kurt, to see that Kurt had seen the old couple too. Kurt glanced back up at Blaine, nodded his head, then said,
"I think we'll take that private room."
Jamie walked them to the one furthest away from the old couple, and shut the door behind her.
"I'm sorry about that, you guys." She said.
Kurt and Blaine both looked up at her in confusion.
"I saw the couple too." She explained,
"Some people are just so ignorant. But I think it's great that you two are together and have one another to lean on during this. You'll need it. Never let people like that bring you down."
The boys smiled at her, then took their seats, ready to get this done and over with.
Jamie began sticking various needles into Blaine, while Kurt held onto Blaine's hand, squeezing it to remind Blaine that he was there. Once all the wires were set up, Jamie hooked up the chemo IV. She glanced at the label on it before saying,
"Well, looks like you're all set. This drip is set to run for about four hours. I'll drop by once every hour to check in on you, and if you need anything, I'll be right outside, so come find me. Blaine, if you begin to feel drowsy, that's perfectly normal. I'll be back soon, you two!"
And that was that. Jamie was gone. The chemo had officially started. And it was just Kurt and Blaine.
Blaine and Kurt chatted lightly for a bit, at first. Then, once Blaine started to feel a bit drowsy, he suggested that Kurt read Vogue out loud to him. Kurt complied, then laughed when, not fifteen minutes later, Blaine was softly snoring. Jamie was right, it appeared. Getting chemo was completely harmless.
'Maybe this won't be too bad after all...' Kurt thought, then continued to silently flip through his Vogue magazine.
Kurt had spoken too soon. Chemo was bad. It was really, really bad.
When he and Blaine had gotten home from chemo the day before, Blaine had seemed fine. The boys went upstairs and watched Moulin Rouge and ate popcorn and even got in a pillow fight after Blaine convinced Kurt that he really was feeling just fine, aside from still being a bit drowsy from the medicine. They fell asleep together in a peaceful sleep, not a concern on either of their minds.
But around 5 in the morning, Kurt woke up to the sound of groaning and crying. He immediately jerked up and looked at his boyfriend, who was curled up in a ball, lightly sobbing.
"Blaine? Blaine, sweetie, are you ok? What's wrong? Where does it hurt?"
Blaine continued to cry for a minute before eventually mumbling,
"Everywhere. It hurts everywhere."
Kurt instantly jumped out of bed and ran to his dresser to grab Blaine's pain killers. He bounded down the stairs to grab a glass of water, then, two steps at a time, ran back upstairs to Blaine. He gently rolled Blaine over onto his back and pulled him up, so that Blaine's back was against Kurt's chest. He handed Blaine the pills and the water, urging him to drink them down, hoping that they would help relieve some of the pain as soon as possible. Blaine took the medicine, then continued to cry, Kurt holding him, gently running his fingers through Blaine's hair, whispering hushed reassurances to his suffering boyfriend, until Blaine eventually fell back to sleep.
Well, Kurt had learned his first lesson. Always make Blaine take painkillers the night of chemo, regardless of how he's feeling at the time of going to sleep. He would just have to remember that for next time so that his boyfriend wouldn't have to suffer that much again.
Kurt was unable to fall back asleep. Too many thoughts were rushing around in his head, and he would hate to be asleep in case Blaine were to wake up and need him again. So Kurt sat in his bed, holding Blaine against him, watching him sleep... Blaine's face contorting in pain as he drifted in and out of consciousness.
Eventually, though, Kurt had to wake Blaine. They had a doctor's appointment at 9 AM for Blaine to get more blood work done, and they would have to set off to the hospital soon if they were going to make it on time.
Kurt leaned down and gently whispered in Blaine's ear,
"Blaine, sweetie... you need to wake up. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. But we need to go to the doctor. I promise as soon as we're done you can go back to sleep."
Blaine grunted, but refused to move. Kurt, not knowing what to do, decided to scoot out from under Blaine and go downstairs to get his dad.
"Dad?" Kurt said, spying his dad in the kitchen, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.
"What's up, kiddo? How's Blaine doing this morning? Doesn't he have a doctor's appointment in about an hour?"
"That's the problem, dad. He's sick this morning. He woke up around 5, crying, so I gave him some painkillers, but now he won't get up. I think it hurts him too much to move. But we have to get him to the doctor. What do I do?"
Burt thought for a second, before telling Kurt not to worry and just go get himself ready. He would take care of Blaine.
Kurt and Burt walked back up to Kurt's room together. Kurt grabbed his clothes, then set off to the bathroom to get ready.
Burt walked over to the bed, and gently nudged Blaine's shoulder. Blaine flinched back in pain, groaning again.
"Blaine... I'm sorry you're feeling like this, kid, but you've got to go to the doctor. I'm going to help you get dressed, if that's ok with you."
Blaine grunted, and Burt took this as a yes. Burt headed to the closet and grabbed whatever looked like belonged to Blaine, hoping that Kurt would approve of his fashion choice, and figuring Blaine wouldn't be alert enough to care either way. Burt gently stripped off Blaine's pajamas, then dressed the boy with the tender care a father would treat his sick child with. About the time Burt was finishing up with Blaine, Kurt came back into the room, quietly thanking his dad for helping him out.
Burt then picked up Blaine and carried him downstairs, Kurt following at his heels, saying repeatedly,
"Oh! Please be careful, dad! You're jostling him! Make sure he's comfortable! Be careful! Be gentle!"
Normally, Burt would be annoyed at his son's pleads, but he couldn't help but smile at the love and care Kurt so obviously had for his boyfriend.
Burt placed Blaine gently in the passenger seat of Kurt's car, buckling Blaine in as Kurt crawled into the driver's seat.
"You sure you'll be ok going on your own, son? You can handle it?"
Blaine had begun to perk up a little throughout this whole ordeal, the pain killers obviously beginning to take their effect, and responded to Burt before Kurt could, saying,
"We'll be fine, Mr. Hummel. Thank you for helping me. I appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm such a pain."
Burt smiled gently at the young boy before replying,
"Burt. Call me Burt, son. And you're not a pain at all. Glad to see you doing a bit better. Drive safe, Kurt."
Kurt nodded, then set off for the hospital, hoping that the worst of the morning was over.
It wasn't. About halfway to the hospital, Blaine suddenly shouted,
"PULL OVER!"
Kurt did so immediately, and before he had even put the car in park, Blaine had opened the door and was leaning out, puking. Kurt figured the nausea had set in. He had done some reading on chemo a few days before and read that it was normal for a chemo patient to feel sick. Kurt leaned over and rubbed Blaine's back silently while Blaine emptied the contents of his stomach onto the side of the road. Once he was finished, he wordlessly leaned back into the car, re-buckled his seat belt, and motioned for Kurt to continue driving. Kurt did.
Kurt all but carried Blaine into the hospital, and got him a wheelchair as soon as he entered the front doors, pushing Blaine the rest of the way. Getting blood drawn took about 5 minutes, and when Kurt mentioned Blaine's nausea, the nurse quickly gave them medication to help him deal with it. Blaine took two pills immediately, hoping that would help him with the drive back home.
Once home again, Blaine went straight back upstairs and into bed. Kurt tried to follow right behind him, but Burt held him back in order to talk to him for a minute downstairs.
"How are you doing, Kurt? How did the trip to the hospital go?"
Kurt collapsed onto the sofa before responding.
"I'm tired. And scared. And sad, dad. I hate seeing him in so much pain. He threw up on the side of the road on the way to the hospital, and I practically had to carry him in, and that was all after he took his pain killers this morning. The nurse gave him something for the nausea, so hopefully we won't have to worry about him getting sick anymore. But I just hate seeing him like this... and it's only the beginning."
Burt walked over and sat next to Kurt on the couch, pulling him into a hug.
"I know, son. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this."
Burt paused,
"You really love him... I can tell. And when you love someone like that, you'll do anything to take care of them and make them happy. But... just make sure you look out for yourself too, ok? It can really take a toll on someone, seeing the love of their life suffer like that. I went through it with your mother, so I understand. But just remember that I'm here for you. I love you, son, and I want you to take care of yourself."
Kurt nodded, squeezed his dad tighter, then got up and headed upstairs to check on Blaine.
When Kurt got upstairs, Blaine was already asleep. Kurt glanced over at the nightstand next to the bed and saw that the painkiller bottle was open and a half-drunk glass of water sat next to it. Kurt looked back over to Blaine and noticed that Blaine was silently crying in his sleep. Kurt just looked at Blaine, his heart breaking, not knowing what he could do to help.
A/N: Don't really have much to say about this chapter. It's all pretty self-explanatory. lol.
Preview for Chapter 10- another time jump... summer is coming to an end and more side effects for chemo start to settle in. The boys wonder how they'll manage all of this once school starts. Lots and lots of angst. :)
Reviews are always welcome!