10
Spending the afternoon in bed with Edward was like trying to fly a kite in a wind storm. He was wild and hot, and then would calm things down to a standstill. My poor privates were so confused I was about to cry. Maybe this was a form of religious sex and I didn't know it?
I finally sat up as I tried to catch my breath. "Are we just messing around all day?"
"I think this is more than messing around," he said.
"No, I know the difference," I informed him. "You haven't even touched flesh and whenever I try to touch flesh you pull away. We need flesh touching for this to be more than just messing around."
"Then marry me right now," he begged.
What the F? He seriously wouldn't even have sex with his pretend fiancé? I accepted his ugly ring; the least he could do is accept my ugly offering.
"Bella this is complicated," he sighed, and I shook my head in disagreement. I had done this lots of times, and there was nothing complicated about it. At that moment Alice and Jasper came to our bungalow and I lost all hope of screaming his name in passion.
Edward got up and went into the other room to speak to his friend, or to prove he was still clothed, I'm not sure which. Alice looked in to see me lying in bed with a red mouth and a dressed body. "We got a canoe, do you want to come with us?" she asked.
Who in the world would think canoeing was preferable to making out? I guess Edward did, since he accepted the offer for both of us. I decided to look at my plan from another angle. Maybe an island divorce would be easy and quick!
Jasper talked to us about the dynamics of rowing successfully, but I stopped listening when he said the words, dynamics of rowing successfully. I concentrated on my own issue. I knew you had three days to change your mind when you bought something expensive like a car, maybe marriage worked the same way.
I glanced back at Edward rowing with all his might and said, "Hey, do you ever help people with divorces?"
"I don't believe in divorce," he said to plummet my hopes. He was sure picky on what he believed and didn't believe in, and quite frankly it was boxing me into a corner. I was going to end up married with ten kids and living with my horrid mother-in-law if I wasn't careful.
"I think marriage is a mathematical equation," Jasper said. "You need to have the right numbers and you have to show your work to make it count. It starts out as simple addition but it moves into complicated algorithms that keep you on your toes to make it work."
"You are so right," Alice said, and I flipped her off.
"Math has nothing to do with marriage," I said as I smirked at Jasper. "Math is absolute; marriage is a 50-50 outcome."
"Marriage is sanctioned by God," Edward inserted, making my argument moot.
We rowed in silence as I tried to come up with an acceptable argument. The problem with arguing with a Pastor is they pulled the God card every time. I suddenly thought of a different road to travel down. "Okay, what if you marry the wrong person, or they die, like Rose's husbands?"
"Rosalie's marriages achieved what she wanted to achieve," Alice pontificated. "Other people want a forever union, bound together by religious doctrine."
"Alice," I said in frustration, because she sure picked a hell of a time to become smarter. "Are you talking from your own heart or trying to hurt mine?"
"Hurt yours?" Edward asked in shock.
I was trapped on a small wooden boat and would have to jump into the ocean to get out of this conversation. "I didn't mean mine," I lied. "I meant to say Rose's."
This was getting ridiculous and I didn't know how to back my way out. Now I couldn't even plan to divorce my fake fiancé whom I would be forced to marry and become breading stock. I decided to remain quiet so I didn't get in any deeper.
Edward was quiet too, but Jasper began teaching Alice the different constellations. He's such an ass.
We finished the odd double date and made our way back to shore. Rose and Emmett were lying on a blanket talking softly to each other. It was touching, without them touching. Alice and Jasper wandered off in another direction and I headed with Edward to find something to eat.
We made a plate and sat silently at a table. I felt like I needed to say something, give him a glimpse at my life so he could understand me better so I sighed and said, "I dated Jake because he had great abs."
"Excuse me?" he said and leaned closer.
"He looked good without a shirt, I didn't like actually talking to him," I admitted. "I would have ended it as soon as he got a gut."
"Are you still seeing him?" Edward asked. I realized we hadn't officially broken up, because hey, he still had his abs.
"Maybe," I said, as I tried to think back. "But like I said, I don't really like him."
Edward looked stunned, much worse than when he saw my legs open in front of a fan. I always hated this part of the relationship. When you find out the person isn't who you think they are, because they are never the person who you think they are. It made me think about what Edward could be hiding.
"Well, have a good night," he said and stood to leave.
I motioned with my hand to tell him goodbye as I remained in deep thought. He most likely was trying to prove something to me by leaving, but I didn't care. If he wasn't going to get naked, I wasn't going to make him stay. I thought about who Bella Swan really was and if she was someone Edward could ever really love. I was cynical, sarcastic, horny, sacrilege and not good with parents. What about me could he possibly want to marry?
Esme saw me sitting alone and came over to the table. "How are you?" she asked, like she was queen of the manor.
"How long have you been married?" I asked her rudely.
"Fifteen years. I married Carlisle when I was only twenty," she said fondly.
"And then you moved here?" I asked further.
"No, we've been here about five years. Why?"
"Do you ever regret marrying him?"
She smiled and reached out to take my hand. "I can assure you Edward is an amazing man. Don't let doubts ruin things for you."
"But how do you know? He came here with some rich woman and then stayed with you and Carlisle. Maybe she would have left her husband for him and they could have been happy together."
Esme's eyes grew wet and she whispered softly, "Edward came here with me and I talked him into staying."
"You were in his parish?" I asked, and she nodded.
"We were both in horrible situations. This island fixed it all for us."
"You and Carlisle, or you and Edward?" I asked for clarification.
She bit on her lip to keep from saying something that she wanted desperately to say…something I wanted her desperately to say. She dropped a major bomb on me and I needed her to clear up a few lose ends.
"I better go," she said and I reached out and grabbed onto her arm.
"Wait, you have to explain things to me," I demanded.
"Talk to Edward, and Bella, trust in him," she advised and then walked away.
I didn't go to Edward, since I had no idea where his room was. I went back to my room and lay on my bed to think. This was crazy to be confused over a guy I had met just over a week ago. It takes people years to figure out they don't belong together, but he was only giving me a few days.
I got the ring and looked at it again in its box. It could be pretty if you had on something to calm it down a bit, like a prom dress. I took it from the box and slipped it on my finger. I help up my hand and one of the stones fell out.
I searched around on the carpet and when I stepped on something I heard a crunch. I looked under my foot to see a pile of tiny green powder. I looked back at the ring and took it off to look closer. Inside was an inscription…made in China.
I threw the ring as hard as I could at the wall and it shattered into several pieces. Edward Masen was a liar. He was pawning off a cheap ring and trying to make me marry him. I wasn't being celibate for an inexpensive knock off ring.
I marched down to the beach where Rose and Emmett were still lying and walked up to their blanket. "Where's the preacher?" I demanded.
"Isn't he with you?" Emmett asked.
"Why would he be with me? I have a vagina and those scare him. Where's his room?"
"Oh..um…" Emmett sat up and looked around like someone would come running up to save him. I had asked a simple question. The resort wasn't that big, he had to be around here somewhere.
"Just point and I'll figure it out," I said to solve his dilemma.
"Why don't you come to my room and I'll get him for you?" he suggested.
I nodded in agreement but also planned to make Edward show me his room. I hoped he wasn't sleeping in the jungle as he paid penitence for something that involved Esme. But if he was, I planned to move him in with me immediately and demand he pay me with some holy loving.
I followed Emmett to his room and Rose waited with me while he got Edward. The room was small but neatly kept. She snooped through his dresser drawers and his small desk but found nothing incriminating.
Edward walked in with a stern face, either upset with me for looking for him, or certain I was ending our engagement. Emmett and Rose left and I looked at Edward and held up my hand. "I need another ring, love," I said hatefully.
"I'll get you a diamond when I can," he said shamefully.
"I want to see your room," I demanded.
"You can't. Women are not allowed in there."
I stared at him in disbelief. He was picking and choosing which rules to follow and it angered me. "But I'm your fiancé," I said cynically.
"I would lose credibility if someone saw you enter my room," he said.
"But it is fine if they see you leaving mine?" I asked.
"I counsel people all the time," he began but I interrupted him.
"With your tongue down their throats?"
He groaned and arched his back in frustration and I wasn't about to let him off easy. "Why did you lie about the ring? It didn't belong to your grandmother; it belonged to a gumball machine."
He thought for a moment and then his shoulders slumped. He finally looked at me and said painfully, "I wanted to see if you were greedy."
My brain thought, Bfphlt. I couldn't even form coherent words. Of course I was greedy, but not for his jewelry, for his body. I didn't know what to say so I walked out. I was mad, and confused, and a bit insulted, but I was also clear enough to do a little detective work.
I jumped off the trial and hid in the thick undergrowth as I waited for him to leave Emmett's room. Then I followed him through the maze of bungalows, hiding each time he stopped to talk with someone. He finally made his way off the trail and into an area I had never seen before.
I followed after he disappeared and made my way around a bend to where a huge, and I mean humongous, house sat all by itself. If this was where the pastor lived, he was dipping into the collection plate!
I snuck up to the large bay window and looked inside. I was shocked at what I saw.
11
Edward was standing by a fireplace with his head resting on the mantel in frustration. But my eyes were drawn to the painting above the fireplace. It was a huge portrait of a beautiful woman in a nun's habit. He had a painting of his freaking nun. Not actually his nun, but his nun love, the love who didn't want him when he left the Priesthood.
He wanted to know if I was greedy and he was staring up at mother gorgeous every day. I wasn't wasting another moment on the uptight Edward Masen. I had most likely lost out on other opportunities while trying to bed a pastor.
I marched back to my bungalow and searched the entire place for hidden candy. I even looked through Alice and Rosalie's suitcases. After finding nothing I headed to the food hut and demanded sugar packets. I downed them all as fast as I could.
Carlisle saw what I was doing and came over to save me from a coma. "Bella, is everything okay?" he asked.
"How can you hurt someone really badly without killing them?" I asked.
He looked around nervously as if I was talking about hurting him and then said, "Do you want to talk about it?"
I thought for a moment, because the sugar was pretty much rushing through my veins. "No, I don't want to talk about it. I want to hurt him. Hey, will you hold him down while I put poison ivy on his blessed place?"
"Are we talking about Edward?" he asked.
"Oh, is that his name? Are you sure it isn't Judas?"
Carlisle laughed at me and it was not a good time to find humor in my words. I was ready to maim Edward and I would be fine with collateral damages.
"Engagements are stressful," he said stupidly.
"We are not engaged," I yelled. "I wouldn't marry him if he was the last preacher who didn't believe in birth control and divorce. Did you know he gave me a fake ring?"
"Edward has other things he needs to consider," Carlisle said, but I wasn't listening.
"Do you want to know why he gave me a fake ring? To see if I was greedy," I answered without letting him guess. "Who does that? I gave my heart and soul to him and he played me like a child."
I was aware I was lying. I hadn't given anything to him, I was only trying to take and he wasn't giving.
"Edward has a reason to test people. He can't trust easily," Carlisle said and I saw how he was trying to keep from telling me something.
Luckily, I was an intelligent woman and I could figure things out for myself. Edward was testing me to see if I would call uncle and give in. He wouldn't marry a girl he just met as much as I wouldn't marry a guy I just met. I came on strong with the sex thing and he was teaching me a lesson. Well, I would be the one to teach him a lesson.
I smiled evilly and gave Carlisle a big hug. "Thank you so much for explaining everything to me. I overreacted and I'm over it. I'm just so in love and it's hard to think straight."
He nodded and I ran from the room on a sugar high. It was dark and everyone was gathering on the beach for affirmations. Someone would stand and state something they knew to be true. I kept looking around for Edward and was shocked when he stood from the far side of the group.
"I know there is a higher power that rules my life and it is my desire to live up to my potential," he said and everyone clapped.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, his higher power was a painting he worshiped. I stood and looked directly at him as I wiped a fake tear. "I know one man holds my heart and it is my desire to love him forever."
Everyone cheered loudly and Edward smiled softly as he walked toward me. I mentally checked for itching and found things oddly normal so I ran and jumped into his arms as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
"I'm sorry," I lied, because I wasn't sorry at all. I was still pissed as hell and wanted to choke him with her habit.
"It was all a misunderstanding," he said, and kissed me softly.
"I don't think we should wait, Edward. I think we should marry as soon as possible."
I watched closely for his reaction. He smiled but his eyes darted to the side as if searching for a lifeline. I was sure he would cave but he said, "That's a great idea."
Oh man, he was a first rate competitor and I had to give him props. "Can your parents come right away? I'm anxious to meet your mother," I added for an extra dig.
He swallowed and said, "I'm sure they can. I'll call them."
I slid down from his body and we stared at each other, hoping one of us would stop this farce before it got out of hand. I wasn't about to call his bluff and I was going to teach him a lesson even if I had to marry him to do it.
I blew him a kiss and said, "I'm tired, I'm going to bed. Love ya."
"I'll walk you to your bungalow," he offered, and headed off behind me.
I didn't stop at my door, I entered and pulled my shirt off and began taking off my shorts. He stayed by the door so I turned my back to him and asked, "Can you unhook me?"
When his hands reached out to touch my bra strap I moaned loudly, causing his hands to pull back. "I better go," he said, with tension in his voice.
"Ah, really? That sucks," I said with a pouty tone.
"Get some sleep and we'll work on wedding plans tomorrow," he said, and kissed my shoulder before walking out the door.
"Kiss my…."
He stuck his head back in the door and said, "What?"
"I said one more kiss please," I smiled, and leaned so he could kiss me one last time.
Edward was just as stubborn as I was and if he wouldn't end this I would make sure his mother would. I was going to be the most annoying, uncouth, obnoxious bride on the planet, and I had seen enough reality shows to know how to do it, too.
The next morning I told Rose and Alice they needed to help me with wedding plans. The first thing I did was hand Rose my birth control and asked her to have Emmett give it to Edward. That would scare the lies out of him.
"Are you going to have your parents come?" Alice asked me.
"No, my mom has cactus needles in her butt and my father would kill both me and Edward," I said, because I needed Alice to focus on other more important things. "I want you and Rose to wear bikinis as my bridesmaids."
"Awesome," Rose squealed, because she had the perfect body for it. Alice seemed less convinced.
"What about a ring for Edward?" she asked.
I looked around the room and saw a small gold circle of metal attached to my luggage so I walked over and ripped it off. "Okay, the ring is solved."
They both looked at me like I had lost my mind so I lied and said, "When I go home to pack up my condo I'll get him a real ring."
"Are you moving here to live?" Alice asked.
I thought about the huge home becoming mine and realized things could be a lot worse. I could have a bonfire and we would roast hotdogs as the nun burned in effigy. "Yeah, we're living here."
I actually had no idea where Edward would want to live, because we weren't discussing real issues. We were both certain the other person would fold so details were sparse.
"Can we come visit you all the time?" she asked, as tears formed in her eyes.
"Sure, you can live with us if you want," I offered.
"If Emmett doesn't step it up I may take you up on it," Rose said angrily.
"You're just used to the old guys making fast decisions, Emmett doesn't feel rushed by the possibility of death," I explained to her.
She nodded and didn't say anything else about Emmett, most likely hoping the bikini gawking as she walked down the aisle would spur him along. We decided they would were lei's instead of carrying bouquets and each girl would have a wreath of flowers in her hair. It was tacky and gaudy, just the way I wanted it.
We missed meditation hour and turned up just in time for breakfast. I got my coffee and hard toast and made my way to where Edward was sitting. Our eyes locked and we both smiled disingenuously. I had to admit he was so handsome, much too handsome to be celibate, if he would only give it up and let this all end!
"Good morning," he said and kissed my cheek. It was a nice cavalier move.
"Good morning to you, gorgeous," I said, and proceeded to kiss him openly and wetly until he had to push me away.
"My parent will be here on Monday, did you call yours?"
I noticed how closely he was watching me for a reaction. "Yes, but unfortunately they can't make it. They both said to bring you to meet them as soon as possible."
"Are you okay with proceeding? I'll understand if you want to delay things."
"I'm fine if you are okay with proceeding," I said to offer him an out.
"I'm counting the moments," he said and kissed my hand.
What a lying sack of shit he was. For a man who didn't believe in a lot of things he sure would go to the extreme to win.
"I asked Rose and Alice to be my bridesmaids. They are both so excited," I announced. "I'll ask Esme to be my maid of honor, if it is okay with you?"
I wanted him to tell me exactly how he was Esme's toy when he came here, but he kept his sanctimonious face blank.
"Are you coming to my morning session?" he asked, and I nodded and tried to swoon a little. I could pull off the star struck girlfriend, even though I knew what dirt bags men really were.
We walked together to the meeting room and I sat close to the front. He stood in his guru jammies and looked absolutely delicious. I glanced around the room and noticed how every woman had her eyes glued directly on him. I got a bit jealous, I mean, he was my fake fiancé, not theirs.
I rubbed my eye and walked up to where Edward stood as people continued to file in. "Do I have something in my eye?" I asked.
He took my head in his hands and leaned it back as he moved in closely to look at my eye. I let my body lean into his, rubbing in the most fortuitous place.
"Bella, your eye is fine," he said in just a whisper.
"I know, but other parts of me weren't. Now they are, thanks."
He kept my head in his hands and looked right at me as I smiled. "You are so beautiful," he said with just a breath.
I lost my composure and felt he was talking from his heart. I buckled because he was so handsome and so sweet and forgot the game for a moment. I stared at his mouth and then made my way up to his eyes. "I love you," I whispered, and felt my stomach fall into my pelvis. Holy crap! I didn't mean to say that and quickly recovered to jump back into the game. "You have a great butt," I declared.
He chuckled and said, "Go sit your great butt down so I can start this session."
I could feel my hands shaking so I sat on them for a few moments to steady myself. Edward greeted everyone and began. He talked about finding your center. I found mine alright, with a leaf covered in poisonous oils.
He walked back and forth in front of the room as we held a lively discussion. His legs were really long and his shoulders were wide. He would look great in a tux…if we were having a real wedding. And I could just imagine the wedding night. We would most likely destroy a bed with the wild sex that would be unleashed.
I sat up straighter and took a deep breath. I had to stop thinking about that and concentrate on plans that would guarantee he would call it quits.
12
We were making wedding plans, down to the most intimate details. Edward stepped up his game by being so much more affectionate. He would place his arm around my shoulder or let his hand rest lightly on the small of my back. He opened all the doors and offered his hand to help me up from meditation. It was real shitty of him.
The night before his parents arrived I was walking back to my bungalow with a fist full of sugar packets when I saw a group playing with a balloon launcher. I watched as they pulled the thick band back and placed a water balloon in the fold. Someone would run and the balloon would be sent flying into the air as they tried to catch it.
I had a great idea and asked the group if I could use it when they finished. An hour later I was hiding in the thick jungle and working on my plan.
The next morning I didn't go to meditation or breakfast, telling Edward I was too nervous about meeting his parents. I was going to wait in Esme's sitting area until he brought them to meet me. I actually snuck out to the thick brush and waited for their small plane to arrive.
His father exited first, looking like an older version of Edward. My heart was pounding furiously as I watched them hug each other. Next came his mother. Holy mother of Edward! She had on a light pink business suit and her hair was pulled into a French twist. She stood so straight I wondered if her spine had been fused. She gave Edward a one arm hug and then pulled away from him. She was the definition of uptight and I knew she was going to ask me for blood and urine samples.
I waited until they walked closer to the edge of the tarmac and when Mrs. Masen stood on the exact spot I needed her, I let go of the balloon launcher. I didn't wait to see if it hit its mark. I took off running as fast as I could to make my way back to the waiting area.
I sat and tried to calm my racing heart as I waited for Edward and his parents to arrive. Carlisle walked in first looking very upset. He was followed by Esme with her arm around Edward's drenched mother. I thought I saw evidence of a tiny smirk on his father's face, but I wasn't sure.
"What happened?" I asked innocently.
"I'm afraid a stray water balloon hit my mother," Edward said with a tight jaw.
She was reacting as if it was filled with vodka and not just water. Her hands were held outward and her mouth hung open in shock. Carlisle brought her a large towel and wrapped it around her shoulders before helping her to sit.
"It will dry quickly," I pointed out and everyone looked at me. "I mean, it's just water. I bet you are dying to don your bikini and hit the surf."
"And who exactly are you?" the drowned rat asked with her nose in the air.
"I'm your new daughter," I answered with a big smile, "Hi mommy."
Edward rushed over to pull me to him and spoke up quickly. "Bella, these are my parents, Elizabeth and Edward senior."
"Double E, cool," I announced, as they both stared at me.
Elizabeth's mascara was beginning to run down her sullen face and it looked like something from the Walking Dead. I tried not to laugh and turned my attention to Edward senior; who seemed much more laid back.
"How did you miss the water bomb?" I asked with a smile.
"Just lucky I guess," he answered and finally smiled in earnest. I was certain he had wanted to let lose ever since his wife took it to the head, so his smile was extra prominent. I really liked the guy.
"I would like to see your planning book," Elizabeth said, making me want to soak her again. I didn't have a freaking planning book; I didn't plan on really getting married.
"I'm afraid everything is in my head," I said to shock her.
"I can show you the flowers and cake she has ordered," Esme offered, and grabbed some papers off her desk. Elizabeth looked at the leis and the cake that looked like Dr. Seuss created it and her face paled.
Her eyes looked at me and then at her son. "Are you kidding?" she asked, without a hit of humor.
"I'm letting Bella have whatever she wants," he said a bit forcefully, and it got me a little hot.
"You have a reputation to maintain," his mother yelled. Oh, he was maintaining it all right. He was the unbedable Pastor Masen.
I managed to produce a tear by sticking my longest fingernail into the soft flesh behind my knee and looked at Edward. "I love the plans I have; it is just the way I want my wedding to be."
"And I can assure you nothing will be changed," he promised, and wiped my tear away.
Eat that mommy dearest! I smiled at her in triumph and she leaned forward, looking like a raccoon and said very adamantly. "You will not embarrass the Masen name with this spectacle."
Spectacle? She hadn't even heard the spectacle worthy parts of the plan yet. She didn't know the bridesmaids were going to be in bikinis and the groomsmen in board shorts with oiled chests. Or that I was wearing a veil…on the back of my thong bikini bottom. She should be pretty darn happy with the cake and the flowers because those were the tamest part.
"Look," I said as my anger rose, "Edward is an adult and he can have whatever kind of wedding he wants. He knows what his reputation is and I would never embarrass him."
Wait, what was I saying? I planned to humiliate him, not simply embarrass him. I looked over to see him looking at me lovingly. He ran his fingers through my hair and said, "Thank you, love."
I wished he would stop using that phrase, because it did funny things to my heartbeat when he did.
"Are you wearing your officiating robes?" his mother asked him.
"No, I'm not officiating," he replied.
I laughed a little and everyone turned to look at me. It was bad enough I was fake marrying a Pastor, but if I had to walk down the aisle to a man in robes I would tip over from laughter. "I think I want to see him as my groom, not as my Pastor," I admitted.
"I came all this way to see my son marry," she said looking right at me. "I believe our wishes should have some say in the matter."
I simply shrugged and said, "Then go home."
Her eyes narrowed and she looked at her husband and then at her son before saying, "Edward, I demand you come home with us at once. You are making a huge mistake."
Yeah he was, but not for the reasons she believed he was. I was a great catch. I had an education, I was independent, adventurous, and good in bed I have been told. I didn't like her saying I was his mistake, when obviously it was the nuns fault.
"Mother, I am twenty-nine and fully capable of knowing who to love," he responded.
I turned to look at him. "Twenty-nine, hum, I would have guessed younger."
He smiled an adorable smile and said, "Well, almost twenty-nine."
Damn him! Now I needed to find a proper dress because if I was going to end up walking down the aisle before one of us called the bluff, I wanted to look pretty for him. I planned on talking to Esme to see if she had any connections on the mainland. I wasn't sure I would go with white, but maybe it would be damaging to Edward's rep if I didn't. Fake weddings were so stressful.
Esme grabbed her camera and told us she needed a picture for the special napkins she was having printed. Edward pulled me to my feet and placed me in front of him as he leaned his head next to mine. We both smiled as if we were a real engaged couple and she took the picture. Edward turned his face to speak into my ear. "In three days I get to have all of you."
He stepped away from me and I was left quivering by myself in the middle of the room. I hated him, and I loved him, and I wanted to win this stupid game, so I said, "I feel awful for breaking the ring."
"What ring?" Elizabeth said quickly, and looked at Edward for a response.
"I have a session to run, so if you'll all excuse me," Edward said and left the room. He was such a rat.
"What ring did Edward give you?" Elizabeth demanded.
"A gumball machine ring, he's a poor Pastor after all," I answered and she seemed to relax.
I sat back down, feeling a bit lost without Edward there at my side and Elizabeth began to grill me. "Are you Catholic?" she asked.
"Edward's not," I pointed out.
"In his heart he still carries our beliefs," she said to correct me.
"Um…I don't think he does," I laughed. "A wedding pretty much takes him off the team."
"He was…corrupted," she said with embarrassment.
"Well, you know how wily nuns can be," I said.
I wasn't the one corrupting her chosen one; it was done by her people, not mine. Esme jumped up and excused herself before Elizabeth looked at me with shock. "Are you stupid?" she asked. "That was very cruel."
I was confused and felt like I missed something. Maybe they didn't know about the nun and her huge portrait hanging over Edward's fireplace. "I'm sorry," I said, and not sure why. I stood and said I had an appointment with my bridesmaids and left the room.
I rushed to tell Rose and Alice all about what happened, although I left out the water balloon part. Since they were both involved with Edward's friends I wasn't so sure of their loyalty anymore. I also brought up the subject of a dress. Rose looked through her clothes but nothing was the right style, or fit.
"Maybe you two should wear sun dresses, Elizabeth seems very conservative," I admitted.
Alice screamed and jumped up and down. "I told you," she yelled to Rose.
What? Alice knew something before anyone else? Rose smiled and said, "I thought all of this was fake and you were putting us on. Alice said if you asked us to wear dresses it meant it was real."
Well, Alice wasn't as bright as she thought she was, because it was still all fake, just a higher class of fake.
I didn't see Edward's parents for the rest of the day and was sure he had them hidden out in his huge home. I found Esme and asked her about finding a dress. She told me to wait in her office and she would be there in a few minutes. I waited for over half an hour for her to return. She was carrying the most beautiful ivory gown. It was simple, without a train and made of light gossamer material. I reached out and let my hand float through the fabric.
"Where did you get this?" I asked.
"We have weddings here all the time. I keep a few dresses on hand." She put the dress against my body and stood back a bit to look at it. "Yes, this one would be perfect."
I felt a lump in my throat and I suddenly wanted my mother here to see me and my father to walk me down the aisle. I took several minutes to compose myself and remember I wasn't getting married to an amazing man. I was pulling one over on a Priest.
"Thank you," I managed to say and took the dress back to my room. I waited until I was certain Alice and Rose were gone and tried it on. It fit like it had been made for me and I began to cry. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let Edward win.
I hung up the dress and headed out to find him and call off the charade.