19
Edward doesn't believe in divorce, but I do. I had given in on the O.J. issue. I had learned to pray every morning, and I had done the nasty without birth control, but the Barnabas issue was never going to happen. I would leave my gorgeous man in my cloth if he insisted our son be cursed with that name. It would be the least I could do for our offspring.
It was funny how quickly the house got finished once Edward was in town. I don't know if the construction crews listened to a man more, or if he prayed it done. I was busy picking out furniture and waiting for my doctor's appointment to arrive.
I had been doing a bit of praying of my own. I wanted a girl, hell I would even take a hermaphrodite as long as I didn't have to name it Barnabas. We never approached the issue, but I could tell he mumbled the word Barnabas when he prayed, the jerk.
I was finally sitting on the doctor's office chewing on my fingernails when Rose reached out and slapped my hand.
"Ow," I yelled and smacked her back. A toddler looked at us in shock, surely receiving time out if he acted like that.
"Why are you so nervous?" she asked.
"My marriage depends on us having a girl. I have a 50-50 chance of this ending my happiness."
"Fine, I wasn't going to tell you, but if it will make you relax I'll do it," she said, and I wondered if she was pregnant and offering to steal the name away.
"Emmett and I are buying that house on Ranger Road," she said as if announcing the second coming.
"Ooh, next to the Stanley's? You better keep your drapes closed," I laughed.
"Why, is he a pervert?"
"No, she is," I said to really throw Rose for a loop.
"I thought you would be over the moon," she added with a sullen voice.
"Rose, I'm having a crisis here, my marriage may or may not be ending, and they've already broken ground on the church."
"You can't leave Edward, or I'll lose the bet. I said for sure you would make it one year."
I was stunned, and a bit pissed someone bet less than a year. I mean, I would have, but I had insider information.
My name was called and I took in a gasp of breath before standing and heading back. Edward was going to try to make it, but he had to be at city hall getting a zoning matter cleared and didn't want me to reschedule. Rose held my hand as the doctor verified my pregnancy.
"Can you tell what it is?" I asked, thinking if he had his hand clear up there surely he could feel the outline of the baby's body.
"No, I can order a sonogram if you like," he offered.
"Yes, I like," I replied.
"Usually parents don't care about the sex of the first born," he said nonchalantly.
"Oh, all of my babies have to be girls," I informed him. "My husband wants to name his son Barnabas, like that wouldn't doom him to rape in prison."
The doctor looked up from the chart he was writing in and said, "My father's name was Barnabas, and he did fine."
Rose laughed but I glared at them both. Now the doctor would do everything in his power to curse me with sons. I was going to be yelling in the backyard for Barney one thru ten.
I arrived home to find Edward just pulling into my father's garage. I walked over and he pulled me into his arms. "How did everything go?" he asked.
"I'm not pregnant, just fat," I lied.
He chuckled and said, "Well, I like you fat, so no big deal."
"The doctor scheduled a sonogram and we'll know the sex then," I told him, and he smiled and kissed me.
It was just what I needed to calm me. Edward made me feel safe and loved, if he only had better taste in names.
"Emmett and Rose are moving into that house next to the Stanley's," I told him.
"Great," he responded, "Has Jasper heard anything from the university?"
"I haven't talked to Alice."
"I have some good news; we can start moving in on Saturday."
"Perfect, it is when your piano arrives," I said, feeling like things were finally working out.
Since I was pregnant I didn't have to lift boxes. I got to give instructions on where to put things. A bunch of my boys from my classes came over to help and I promised to give them extra credit. By nightfall I was wiped, and Edward was stuck rubbing my feet as I lay proudly across O.J. I had been given free rein on the bedroom so I put him in there.
"If we are having a girl what name do you like?" I asked him.
"I like Marie," he admitted.
"Really, you don't think it is too close to Mary?"
"What's wrong with Mary?" he asked.
"Nothing is wrong with Mary, but it seems too cliché for a pastor to name his daughter Mary, unless he names his son Joseph," I said and hoped I could plan on a little Joe.
"If it is a girl, you can name it. If it a boy, I get to," he bargained.
"No, I think we should both agree 100 percent," I said.
"Fine, what girl names do you like?"
"I like Laramie," I offered.
"It's a city," he said as he shook his head.
"I like Gem."
"We are not naming our daughter Jim."
"If you name our son Barnabas I am naming our daughter Laramie Gem," I said angrily.
I wanted to believe my hormones were making me so obstinate, but who was I kidding, this was the real Bella and he better get used to it. I wanted to begin calling my little bundle something and announced to everyone my pregnancy. My mother would freak, but nothing like Elizabeth. I'm sure she will insist on a paternity test.
That next week I was so busy with school and decorating that it felt like Edward and I were only seeing each other in bed. I had a particularly difficult day on Thursday when my jeans wouldn't zip. I cried, for both happiness and sadness. Edward tried to calm me but I was inconsolable.
"Honey, it just means the baby is growing and healthy," he said.
"I know," I yelled. "I'm happy to be pregnant; I just don't want to wear maternity clothes."
He hesitated as he tried to figure out what I meant. "Why?" he asked.
"Forget it," I said and grabbed an old skirt that would fit over my baby bump. I headed off to work and hoped my clothing dilemma would force Edward to cave on the name. I was willing to play up every pound I gained and every inch I grew in order to make him change his mind.
I realized he was playing for keeps too when I got home that night and found we had a visitor. An elderly man sat in my living room. He had a thick head of grey hair and the kindest eyes I had ever seen. I knew who he was by the Priest robes he was wearing.
"You must be Barnabas," I said and extended my hand.
"Yes, it is so nice to meet you Bella. I think of Edward as almost a son."
I smiled and Edward and whispered, "Almost."
We spent the entire evening with the old Priest and I helped him get settled in one of our guest rooms before pulling a number on Edward. I walked into our bedroom and stopped to hold onto the dresser as I took deep breaths.
He rushed to my side. "Are you okay, love?"
"Yeah, I think so. I'm having a really weird pain," I lied.
He helped me to the bed and looked totally panicked. "I'll call the doctor."
"No, I feel better by lying down," I said and he sat next to me on the bed. "I think it was too much having company after a long day at work."
"I'm sorry, don't you worry about Father Barnabas, I'll take care of anything he needs. Get some rest, okay?"
"Thank you Edward, you are so good to me," I said in the most pitiful voice I could manage.
He turned off the light and I smiled widely. Did the wedding game not teach him the lengths I would go to win?
I had to admit I really liked Father Barnabas and he seemed to have Edward's undying loyalty, but come on, I can't name my son that! He spent two days with us and then had to leave. I could tell how emotional Edward was and tried to make it better with a little mommy, daddy time.
We dropped the name issue until the day of my sonogram. I took the afternoon off from work and we drove to Port Angeles together. Edward was so excited to get a glimpse of our baby, but I just hoped it wasn't ugly. I would love it regardless, but I somehow thought it would be just a tiny bit easier to love a cute baby.
We were led back to a room and I was handed a paper gown to put on and told to leave on my underwear. I sat on the table and waited as Edward paced. A woman walked in and I looked at her and instantly looked away. She had a huge mole on her chin with a crop of hair growing from it. I couldn't look at her again or I would burst into laughter.
I felt Edward nudge me and I quickly said, "Can I have a moment with my husband please?"
She left the room and I covered my mouth with my hand to contain myself. Edward chastised me for not looking beyond her physical appearance. I wasn't buying his holier than thou attitude. "Edward, she has a beaver on her chin, don't tell me that isn't funny."
"Bella, that's obscene," he said and I noticed how his mouth twitched.
"Go tell her to come in," I said, "But don't get turned on by her."
He shook his finger at me and then called the woman back into the room. I kept my head down and Edward refused to look at her too. She spoke directly to us and asked, "Do you want a boy or girl?"
"I don't care, as long as it's normal," Edward said.
"And preferably hairless," I mumbled and Edward glared at me.
The woman sat at the machine and began to play with the hairs on her chin as she worked with the knobs. Edward coughed to stifle his laugh and it got so bad he had to leave the room for water. I opened my gown and said, "Hurry, do the sonogram and tell me what it is."
"The gel isn't warm yet," she said.
"I don't care, just go," I demanded.
She squeezed the gel onto my stomach and I screamed loudly from the shock, bringing Edward running back into the room. We both lost all concern about the beaver faced woman and looked at the screen in front of us. She moved the wand over my stomach and we saw the tiny heart beating furiously.
"Oh my God," Edward whispered.
"It has a good heart beat, strong and fast just like it should," the woman said.
"Can you tell the sex?" Edward asked, and I didn't even feel the need to laugh at his question to the beaver woman.
She moved the wand all over the place and couldn't seem to find the area she wanted. I began to worry my child really was a hermaphrodite after all. I said a quick prayer and promised to never make fun of women with beavers on their chin again.
She sighed and said, "The baby won't hold still."
Oh no, I had an ADHD baby. I made a mental note to look into medications and hoped like hell the Reverend Masen wasn't opposed to drugging our hyperactive child.
The woman finally gasped and said, "There, I got it."
Edward and I looked at the screen and saw nothing but static. I wasn't even sure there was a baby there, only a heart. She smiled and turned to look at us. "I can tell you with 100 percent certainty the sex of your baby."
20
Praise the Lord, our baby had a sex, only one. I felt my eyes fill with tears and I was suddenly terrified. This was real, it wasn't like fighting over the size of the flat screen, which I won, because I am married to the only man in America who thinks smaller is better.
I was going to have a son or a daughter, not an assumed one, but an actual baby we could name and talk to. I looked at Edward and he had the same terrified look on his face that I had.
We were both excited, but we didn't even know each other a few months ago. It was a lot to take in such a short amount of time. I wasn't sure I had the ability to mother in the way he would expect, but by the look on his face he was having the same fears.
Beaver face was busy typing on the keyboard and I spoke softly to Edward. "Our baby. It is real."
"You'll be an amazing mother," he said and kissed me.
"Nice try," I said harshly, "I'm not caving."
"Bella, it is important to me," he begged and gave me such a sexy, sad, gorgeous look it almost caused me to cave. But in reality Edward had that look often, so I was becoming immune.
"We don't even know the sex yet," I pointed out, and beaver face stood and began cleaning the gel off of my stomach.
"I put the sex of the baby on the screen and printed you a picture. I'll leave and let you find out together," she said, and handed me the paper with the blank side showing.
I held it like it was made of glass and then looked at Edward. "Are you ready?"
"Wait," he called out, and I almost squeed in delight at the thought he was going to give up on the name. "I just want to say first that I love you. Thank you for making me a father and I swear to protect this child with my very life."
Oh my God was he good. He was trying to push my maternal buttons and I had to take a steadying breath. Would I be willing to let my child suffer a broken bone or two to spare him from a horrid name for life? Yeah, I was good with it.
"Are you ready now?" I asked, without commenting on his swipe at the emotional card. He nodded and I slowly turned over the paper.
Apparently our child is an alien monster, because there was nothing human like in the picture, but across the top was the word, GIRL.
I screamed so loudly the beaver lady peeked in to see if we were okay. Edward collapsed onto my chest and began to sob. I thought he was upset and I did the stupidest thing possible. I promised to have another baby right away. I prayed he was too emotional to process my promise.
He raised his head to show his tears and said, "Bella, I'm having a baby daughter, I couldn't be happier. This feeling is incomprehensible."
His hand moved to my abdomen and obviously our baby is a daddy's girl, because she kicked and I felt the weirdest sensation. It was like an angry butterfly pounding to get out. Edward laughed and kissed the spot where she kicked. "Daddy loves you, Marie," he whispered.
"So does mommy, Laramie," I added, to show it was game on.
He chose to ignore my comment and we began making plans to finally announce to the world we were having a baby. The first person I wanted to tell was Charlie. My dad was a cool old man, not a typical grandfather type, so I had no idea how he would respond.
We drove to his house and walked in to find him cleaning his gun. Edward pulled me behind him, as if my father would shoot me for getting knocked up. I was married to a Pastor for heaven's sake. Charlie set the weapon aside and invited us to come sit.
"Dad, I have some news that might be a bit shocking," I began.
"Damn it, I knew it wouldn't last," he said, and I suddenly realized it was most likely my father betting with Rose.
"I love Bella with every fiber of my being," Edward said, to calm my father and to piss me off.
"Give it a rest," I sighed, and my dad looked back and forth between us like he knew he was right.
"Aside from the occasional condom, which I really don't understand, Edward doesn't believe in birth control," I began.
"You're expecting?" my dad interrupted to spoil the surprise.
"A daughter," I announced and then quickly added, "We haven't picked a name yet."
Charlie smiled proudly and then said, "I've always been partial to Katie."
"Yeah, so are the majority of parents of my students. I have six Katie's," I groaned.
"Bella likes the name Albuquerque," Edward said, as he rolled his eyes.
"I do not," I yelled. "But Fargo would be cute for a boy."
"Sure, name our son after the coldest place on earth," he said angrily.
"Maybe Elizabeth should be named that," I mumbled under my breath and Edward gave me an angry glare. "I'm just saying."
"You are happy about the news, aren't you?" Charlie asked in confusion.
"Oh, we are ecstatic," I assured him. "How did you and mom pick my name?"
"Your mother went to a psychic," he laughed. My eyes widened and I was actually considering doing the same thing. Who knew psychics could name babies? Then he added, "The woman's name was Madame Bella."
Edward burst into laughter and I kicked at him but missed. Only my mother would do something like that. Elizabeth most likely fasted and prayed for forty days and forty nights, but my mom heads to a carnival.
"Can we use your phone?" I asked my father, so we could call my mother and have moral support. He nodded and Edward got up to get the receiver. I dialed and put her on speaker phone. She answered after several rings.
"Hi mom," I said.
"Hi baby, do you know how to get wine off of a white ceiling fan?"
I let my head fall into my palm and groaned as the two men looked at each other in confusion. I didn't ask, some things are better left unknown. "Edward's here," I announced, "And we want to tell you something."
"Hold on," she said, "I need to yell at the paper boy."
We could hear her door open and she yelled out, "Hey, stop throwing papers in my driveway."
"But you have a subscription," a young voice yelled back.
"Oh, cool, okay never mind. Bella, what did you want to tell me?"
I looked at Edward and said, "You are so lucky I'm like my father."
Charlie shook his head back and forth adamantly and Edward covered his mouth with his hand to hide his expression. Maybe I had a tiny bit of my mother in me.
"Mom, you are going to be a grandma," I announced.
"I knew you were pregnant at the wedding, you looked upset, and a mother can always tell," she announced.
"I wasn't pregnant at my wedding," I said forcefully. "Edward was a virgin on our wedding night."
Charlie jumped up and covered his ears and Edward looked mortified. At least I didn't announce he lost his virginity to a nun, now that would have been embarrassing!
"I hope you were gentle with him," she said, causing Edward turned bright red.
"No way, we broke the bed," I laughed.
"Did you know your daughter pees in the shower," Edward announced, to get the focus off of him and sex.
The line was silent and finally Renee said, "So, it just goes down the drain."
What? Did he think I came up with that all by myself? He suddenly blurted out, "We're having a girl."
That worked and got Renee focused. She screamed and sounded like she was jumping up and down on her sofa. "Oh Bella, I met this woman at rehab named Celeste, isn't that a gorgeous name?"
"Why were you at rehab?" I asked in shock.
"I'm not an addict, I just needed to meet new people," she explained.
I looked at Edward and said, "You know, you might want to have an addiction group at the church. Forks could use the help."
My father looked at us and nodded. "It would really benefit the community."
"That is a great idea; I'll talk to the area Bishop," he agreed.
We all kind of lost focus and ended up finishing the conversation with my mother without mentioning the baby any further. I handed Edward the phone and said, "Call your folks."
He set the phone down and said, "It's late in Chicago, we'll do it later."
I glanced at the coo coo clock and looked back at Edward. "Seven o'clock is late?"
"I don't want to interrupt their dinner," he said, to make his excuse sound more authentic.
I had to admit I was a bit excited to tell Elizabeth her son impregnated me. She could imagine Immaculate Conception all she wanted; I was going to tell her just how potent her son is. I was sure big E would be happy for us and I was a bit excited to give him the news.
We said goodbye to Charlie and headed home. I planned on making cupcakes to take to school and announce the news to my classes. I was covered in pink frosting when Edward came into the kitchen. I held out my finger and he took a taste.
"Does it taste good?" I asked.
"Amazing," he said, as he stared into my eyes. I think he meant the finger, not the frosting.
I dipped it into the bowl and brought it to my own mouth and wiped it slowly down my tongue. Edward smiled and pulled me into his arms. "I want a taste," he said and kissed me deeply.
I wiped some on his neck and licked it off as he let his head fall back and moaned. I was ready to frost his entire body when he picked me up off the ground and sat me on the counter. Okay, this was new. Apparently Edward becomes adventurous when frosting is involved. He stood with his pants around his ankles as I moved back onto my elbows and let him under my skirt. It was hot, and I planned on making cupcakes much more often.
We finally made it to the bed and I lay on his chest as he played with my hair. I thought about the day and tried to imagine what our daughter would look like, once she lost her alien look. I finally raised my head and asked, "Why don't you want to tell your mother?"
"I want to tell her," he said. "I just don't want her to spoil it. This is the best day of my life and I want to keep it that way."
I could get on board with that. I didn't feel like fighting with Elizabeth today either, but I would be ready to go the distance tomorrow.
"What do you think she looks like?" I asked with a big grin on my face.
"She looks like an angel," he said softly and I kissed his chest.
"A few months ago I didn't even know you, now look at where we are," I laughed.
He took my head in his hands and looked into my eyes. "You're wrong, I've known you since the beginning of time and God helped me find you."
I imagined my soul waiting for Edward to come find me, never knowing what was missing, just knowing something wasn't right. My heart leapt into my throat and I felt tears threaten, but I was smarter than he thought. I was married to someone just as good at the game as I was. He was using emotion during my hormonal time to sway my ability to make a decision.
I kissed his chin and then whispered, "You are so full of shit."
21
I remember when my mother taught me how to bake a cake. I would sit by the oven and stare through the glass as the thing took forever to bake. Being pregnant was just like that, but without the window. The church was looking more and more finished everyday and we actually booked a wedding. It was Rose and Emmett's, but at least something was going to happen in there.
I wasn't sure where Jasper and Alice were in their relationship, maybe he wanted to make sure he had taught her everything he knew before proposing.
Edward was making his way through town by knocking on doors and introducing himself. I never realized religion was so much like politics. The name game was still in full swing and I had come up with a foolproof plan. It was brilliant, unbeatable, and totally awesome. I was in a much better mood knowing I was going to win.
Things got really interesting when we finally announced the pregnancy to the Masens. I sat silently next to Edward as he spoke about the miracle of childbirth and the purpose for families in God's eyes. I think he quoted a few scriptures, but I wasn't paying too much attention.
Elizabeth finally spoke and said, "My grandmother named me, and I'll name your daughter."
Wait, was it some religious thing? Some small print I missed when I took on a minister? I heard a weird sound come out of my mouth. It was a blend of shock, anger, and incredibility. It sounded like a squirrel caught in a trap.
"I'll have to speak to Bella," Edward said, like there was a chance in hell I would let her name my baby.
"I think Grace Amanda would work," Elizabeth said, ignoring her son and the trapped squirrel.
"Lizzy, this is Bella," I interrupted, and Edward closed his eyes. Did he think that would stop him from hearing my words? "I'm going with a more modern name, something unique and original. "
Tick, tick, tick, the line was silent. I looked at Edward with wide eyes and he shook his head in dread.
"Are you still there?" I asked.
"Oh, are you speaking to me?" she answered with rage in her voice. Wow, she wouldn't even respond to the name Lizzy.
"Can I speak to Edward senior?" I asked.
"Hello dear," I heard him answer.
"Is she having a stroke?" I asked in laughter, "I think I just shocked the hell out of her, but Grace, is she kidding?"
He chuckled and said, "You're on speaker phone dear."
There was no way this was going to get any better so Edward told them we would call back later. I tried to act apologetic, and gracious of his mother's offer, but he knew me too well. But the fear of having Renee want to take a stab at naming our child scared him into remaining calm.
"I think we should just tell my mother we are considering her name along with a few others," he finally said to settle the matter.
I was fine with lying to her; it was how I survived in the world. But it did surprise me Edward would do it.
The day finally arrived for my final nail in the problem with names. I woke up in a great mood and planned a huge lunch for all of our friends. Jasper and Alice were still in Seattle but he had been offered a job next year in Port Angeles. Rose and Emmett were living in sin together in Forks, but Edward was going to fix that when the building was finished.
Edward gave everyone a tour through the church and we all were touched by the gorgeous stained glass and rich cherry woods. Just as we exited the building a large semi truck pulled up. I jumped up and down with my big belly and yelled, "Surprise Edward."
"What's this? Is the steeple cross coming early?" he asked in confusion.
"No, I ordered something for you. It is my gift to you for being such a great husband, lover, father, and Reverend."
Alice and Rose were impressed, but Edward looked a bit miffed. I just smiled because I knew this was the end of our game. The truck driver got me to sign for the delivery and then crawled up onto the flatbed to pull off the canvas.
A sign engraved with copper lettering, needing to be set in a permanent brick surrounding read, Saint Barnabas Church.
It was gorgeous and sophisticated, like a sign should be, not a baby…well, a baby should be gorgeous if it can help it any. Edward was stunned into silence and walked toward the truck bed. "Wow," he exclaimed.
"Do you like it?" I asked, since Edward would be much too modest to name his son after his church.
"I love it," he admitted. "And since you named the church I'll name the baby."
Wait, what? I didn't see that coming. I had ended the discussion on the name Barnabas; I hadn't caved about naming the baby Marie, or Grace. I didn't hate those names, like I did Barnabas, but I wanted my daughter to have a name nobody else would have. My only deal breaker was letting Elizabeth name it. I didn't want to end up with Joan of Arc Masen.
The days began to move faster when the church was finished. Rose and Emmett got married, and I had to stand with her in a flowing gown for fat women. I think she planned it that way, but since nobody was invited to the wedding it was okay.
We got to work on the nursery and I had to admit Edward had great taste in furniture. The room was frilly and light. The only thing missing was the baby and the name in blocks over the bed.
I sat during the Sunday services staring at Edward preach. He was amazing and spoke from his heart as he begged us to hearken unto the Lord. I loved it when he wore his robes and how emotional he would become at the pulpit. It got me hot. I glanced around the room to see the other women looking at him in the same manor and it weirded me out a bit.
When his sermon finally ended and he stood at the door thanking people for coming, I moved to his side proudly. He smiled and put his free arm around me. We talked to several people and Edward made plans to visit some of the sick. I made him eat before he left for most of the day.
I was lying on O.J. as I napped and a sudden pain hit me with a vengeance. I thought labor came on slowly. I gasped and held my stomach in shock. I had to admit my pregnancy had gone flawlessly. I never had morning sickness, or waddled uncomfortably. Maybe my luck had run out and my labor was going to be colossally bad.
I got my phone and called Edward. I wasn't sure exactly how to say it to keep him calm so I said, "Are you almost done?"
"I have to drive out to the reservations, why?"
"Can you come by the house first?" I pressed.
"Do you want to go with me?" he asked.
"No," I said emphatically. I had no desire to run into Jake and delve into the O.J. matter again.
"What do you need?"
"Um…I'm having a female issue," I said, sounding like I needed him to bring home a box of tampons. I didn't even know if Edward was the type of husband who would do that.
"I don't get it," he said, because he obviously wasn't female.
"Something needs to come out," I said, and the line was silent. Before he was confused into thinking I was constipated I added, "I think our daughters wants to meet us."
I heard a hiss and then the start of the car engine. "I'm coming," he said and the line went dead.
I got up and retrieved my bag from the closet and then went downstairs to wait. My lower back was killing me and I was beginning to get pretty nervous. Edward came running through the door and pulled me into his arms.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Now I am," I admitted. Just feeling his arms around me gave me comfort.
He kissed me fervently and said, "Bella, I never dreamed I could be this happy, thank you for making all my dreams come true."
"I can't imagine my life without you," I cried. "I love you so much."
There were no games in our declarations, we were two people who on paper would never work, but we found each other and became happier than we had ever been. Edward picked up my bag and we headed to the hospital.
I had to start concentrating on my breathing by the time we arrived. The pain was growing almost unbearable and I was becoming more frightened by the second. When I finally got settled into a room and Edward was dressed in a gown, I fell apart.
"I can't do this," I cried. "I want to go home." Like that was even a possibility.
Edward pulled a chair up to my bed and took hold of my hands. He leaned in until our foreheads were touching and spoke very softly. "Bella, you are so amazing. The fact you can bring forth life fills me with wonder. This is a miracle and I want you to have faith in God and in me. I would never let anything hurt you."
His voice was so certain and soothing. The sounds in the room began to disappear and we moved into a vacuum of time where only Edward and I existed. He continued to talk and I relaxed with each word. His eyes held mine at such close proximity, but I could still see him clearly. He kept me completely calm until the anesthesiologist arrived with the epidural. I felt I had witnessed what a miracle love was.
The labor was smooth and advanced quickly, but I was free of pain and basking in the glow of love for my husband. He helped me push as we both waited impatiently for our daughter to enter the world. She emerged with a full head of dark hair and a strong set of lungs. I reached out for her and brought her to my stomach as Edward cut the cord. I was so torn with how to react. I wanted to pull her to my chest and hold her tightly, but I also wanted to examine every inch of her. I cried from frustration and Edward leaned over to kiss her messy face.
She was quickly taken away and cleaned before being wrapped in a blanket and a stylish cap. I laughed when they handed her back to me. "God, she's beautiful," Edward said through his tears.
"I'm never putting her down," I swore. I moved the blanket to see her tiny hands with long fingers, just like Edward's. Her eyes opened and we both laughed in awe. She was staring at us and I smiled and said, "Hello there little angel."
"What an amazing gift from God," Edward said and ran his finger down her cheek.
"Do you have a name?" a nurse asked.
We ignored her, not wanting our daughter's first impression of us to be what jerks we were, or to hear us fighting. "May I hold her?" Edward asked.
I reluctantly handed her over and watched Edward mumble a silent prayer. He looked so proud and so filled with love that it made me cry even harder. The nurse picked up our camera and took some pictures of us as a family.
"Thank you," I told her, because I never would have had the presence of mind to do that and her kindness touched me.
"You're Reverend Masen, aren't you?" she asked Edward.
"Yes, have we met?" he asked turning his attention away from his daughter for just a moment.
"You came by our house once," she said and he nodded with a genuine smile.
"It was really nice of you to remember," I added, feeling abundantly grateful and appreciative at the moment.
I guess she felt like an intimate part of the family because she said, "You should give your daughter a religious name. The name Jane means a gift from God."
"Get out, you bitch," I said loudly.