The Void in Our Lives

Chapter V: Awake

"Karah! Karah!"

The sound seemed to come from the far end of a very long, dark tunnel. Who was it that was so desperately trying to get her attention? Could they just be quiet? It was so nice and cozy in here, wherever here was; perfect for those blissful five more minutes of sleep…

"Karah!"

Now she could feel the little pats on her cheek, and the voice calling her name sounded strangely like Kitty's. She was her best friend and everything, but why was she being so annoying? Karah was pretty sure whatever it was could wait.

Unfortunately, she was too much out of unconsciousness already to pretend not to hear her friend's call. Under silent protest, she slowly opened her eyes and was immediately blinded by the bright light above her.

"Argh! What?" was her annoyed response while she covered her face like a vampire about to turn to dust.

"Karah… you… you need to wake up," Kitty stated, a worried tone in her words.

She managed to adjust to the light through the gaps between her fingers, and realized she was in the medical lab. How was that possible? She and Kitty were just in Alkali Lake a second ago. She hadn't dreamed it, had she?

"What… what's going on?" she asked, trying to sit up in bed.

She met Kitty's very apprehensive look. Her friend then turned her gaze toward the end of the bed, compelling her to do the same.

It wasn't possible.

It couldn't be.

It wasn't happening.

These were her brain's attempts to correct reality because it couldn't compute the fact that, standing next to the Professor, was Jean Grey.

She tried to form a word, any word, but her mouth simply opened and closed. It was like all her basic speech skills had been wiped away.

"Karah, I know this looks –" the Professor started, but Jean was already by her side before he could finish.

"Sweetheart," she said, holding her daughter's face in her hands.

The gesture sent a shiver down her spine, but it wasn't caused by Jean's cold skin.

"How…?" she was able to say, although what came out was more air than sound.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Jean said, ignoring her confusion, "I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. It's okay."

The voice was very much her mother's; the eyes, however, told another story. As they looked at each other, the young woman knew none of this was what it seemed. As surreal as it all felt, Karah sensed it went much, much deeper than what was in front of her. She couldn't reach Jean's mind, couldn't even sense the faintest signal that it was there at all. But she couldn't deny that Jean Grey was there, in the flesh and, once she was able to process this fact, she broke down.

"Mom!" she cried, throwing her arms around her mother like a little child who had just scraped her knee.

Jean, on the other hand, kept her composure when she returned her daughter's embrace, resting her head on Karah's and closing her eyes.

Kitty and Professor Xavier witnessed their reunion with visible discomfort on their faces, but Karah was just too overwhelmed to really notice.

As if afraid that, if she let her out of her sight Jean would vanish, Karah essentially barricaded herself in her old bedroom for the rest of the day, together with her mother. She had so many questions, so many things to tell her; it was so urgent to make up for lost time she felt she would explode if she didn't let everything out.

"What happened? Where have you been? How are you here? I need to know," she bombarded Jean as soon as the door was closed, "Tell me!"

Jean simply smiled at her, resting her hands on Karah's shoulders.

"I'll answer all of your questions," she stated, leading her to the bed where they both sat down, "But first let me look at you."

She brushed her daughter's hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ears.

"You've grown so much," she said, her eyes starting to tear up.

Karah thought this was an odd statement; it had only been a year and a half, and she had stopped growing way before that.

"I missed you, mom… I missed you so much!"

Karah hugged her mother again, who, this time, held her tightly in return.

"I'm sorry for the time we lost," Jean stated, caressing the hair that was so much like her own, "For all the time we lost."

"It's okay, mom. We're past that," Karah replied, breaking the embrace and holding Jean's hand in hers, "I'm just happy you're back."

She still felt something was out of place, apart from the fact that her mother had just returned from the dead. It was like… this was Jean, but it wasn't Jean. Karah couldn't find an explanation for this feeling, and she was also afraid of it; she was afraid that the mere thought of it would take her mother away again, so she forced it to the back of her mind.

"We'll never be separated again, sweetheart. I promise."

Jean then placed a kiss on her daughter's forehead and, suddenly, Karah was home again.

The day went by with Karah filling her in on everything that had happened while she was presumably dead: college, John, how fragile her relationship with Scott had become… Scott. Her daughter insisted she had to see Scott, but Jean cleverly diverted the conversation to something else. In fact, she was able to keep her answers to everything Karah asked vague; although she didn't doubt her daughter's love for her, she knew there were things she wasn't ready to comprehend yet. She hated having to manipulate her mind to accept her words as truth, but in time it wouldn't be necessary.

Karah fell asleep early in the evening, exhausted from the intense emotions she had experienced that day. Jane lay next to her, watching her sleep, while the anger and guilt for missing most of her daughter's life built up inside of her. She made one mistake and paid sixteen long years for it, searching for the baby whose absence had created a deep void in her soul. Now that baby was a young woman, beautiful and gifted, and she wasn't going to let anyone take her away again.

Making sure she didn't wake Karah up, Jean left the room. With the mansion quiet, she made her way downstairs and had almost made it to the front door when she sensed his presence.

Logan.