August 24, 2012

Thanks to everyone who continues to add this story to their favorites and leave thoughtful comments. It's difficult keeping up with this story when there are other projects I'd like to work on, but you all deserve the best. Hopefully, you'll stick around long enough to see Redefining Soul Mates come to its conclusion!

Enjoy, review, and God bless!

evelyn-shaye

Special thanks to my incredible betas, ChloeCougar and Linnfromia. Never doubt yourselves, ladies – you make this story exceptional!

Chapter Twenty-four: New Beginnings

In the blink of an eye, the drama of autumn h had faded into the Christmas season and then springtime. Now summer vacation was upon us. Freshman year had been full of surprises, especially with Tamara's "death" and Braden's conspicuous absence. Leanna and Ashton had remained at Westhope High to evade suspicion, but Braden couldn't stay, not with Tamara's volatile newborn state. Grandfather maintained contact with him, and Leanna gave us regular updates. From what we heard, Tamara had taken to vampire life with ease but planned to live on the outskirts of a more populated city until her first year ended and her thirst ebbed.

Garet and Jonathan remained constant friends of mine, and we even added three members to our group: Annalee, a new girl from Kansas with bright blue eyes, a smattering of freckles, and tons of spunk; Kirsten, a tan, dark-haired beauty who loved all forms of music; and Craig, a complete jock in terms of ability but down to earth with a handsome smile. The seven of us were a crazy bunch, but it just made our experiences that much more meaningful because we had found common ground where there should've been only differences.

Jake and I were still going strong. Annalee groaned constantly that he and I were too mushy, but I was ecstatic. The imprint didn't scare me; the anticipated jealousy toward his previous relationships with my mom and Tamara never took root; and we never lost the easy, friendly banter we had always had. The physical aspect continued to be a wonder and a struggle, but it had settled down a little after we'd spent a few months together.

I'd asked Momma about it one night, and she'd agreed that Jacob and I had simply needed to experience the normal teenage hormones, plus the desire of imprinting, before we could make a conscious decision about our boundaries. "You two have been in love with each other your whole lives, whether you realized it or not," she'd told me. "Having to discuss the next step after years of going with the flow is bound to trip you up a little. You're like kids experiencing a first crush and wondering if a kiss is really full of cooties," she'd added with a grin.

I couldn't argue with Momma's logic. Intimacy with Jacob thrilled me, but I felt too young; I still had about a year of growing before I would be fully mature. Jacob and I had talked, and we'd agreed that, on my seventh birthday – which Alice had already determined would be my "sweet sixteen" – we would lay all our cards on the table and decide how to proceed with eternity.

Until then, we were just two giddy teenagers in love.

The last day of school was full of hugs and yearbook signings. Jacob wasn't too enthused at the prospect, but I was in my element. I had made other friends in my regular classes, so it was great sending them away with well-wishes and receiving a few of my own. Even my family signed my yearbook, though Jasper seemed a little stiff through it all and Rosalie refused to sign Jacob's after he drew a paw print on her cover page and scrawled "JAKE WUZ HERE" in big letters.

"Nessie!" Garet approached me through the crowd, waving her yearbook in the air. "Don't forget me!"

"Never!" I laughed, reaching for her book. I wrote a cute message with lots of hearts, promising to keep in touch all summer—all that happy stuff that friends write—but included a little bit of thanks for being a true friend when I'd had none. I knew she would appreciate it.

I handed the book back to her, and she smiled. "Make sure I get yours," she reminded me. I extended mine to her and found another book placed in my hand. "Write a message in this one, too," she said quietly.

I opened the yearbook curiously. A lump caught in my throat when I saw the first page. "Tamara Jackson: always in our hearts, even in death. To her and to our favorite memories together. With love from her friends."

I glanced up at Garet. "You wrote this?"

Garet nodded, one tear slipping down her cheek. "I wanted to do something special…for her parents. I kept it a secret in case someone accidentally told them before it was finished." She paused. "Do you think they'll like it?"

I pulled my closest friend into a warm, supportive hug. "This is the greatest gift ever," I reassured her.

She sniffled and brushed her tear away. "Thanks. I made sure only to give it to her friends," she added, "so no one would write some kind of spiteful message in there."

"Good thinking," I commended and moved over to the side of the hall so I could sit down. I tapped my pen against my cheek pensively before composing a short remembrance:

"Tamara, dear Tamara. I can safely say that you were my first friend here at Westhope." Jake was already my friend, so I didn't consider my words a lie. "I will be forever grateful to you for accepting me as I am and inviting me so openly into your group. I hope that, wherever you are now, whether we meet again or not, life is beautiful and you are happy."

The last line was difficult to write. With eternity ahead, there was a good chance we would cross paths and that our reunion would not be as sweet as our former friendship. But I knew her parents would appreciate the sentiment.

I stared at the page a moment longer, and then started writing again before I could stop myself. When I had finished, I read it over fondly. I had listed, in heart-shaped bullet points, my favorite ten things about her. Number ten was eyes sparkling like the ocean. Number six was slipping in the cafeteria and throwing spaghetti all over the track coach. Three was how beautiful she looked in her Homecoming dress. My number one was the message I had written her.

I blinked away a few tears I hadn't noticed until now. We should've had the rest of high school, at least, to exchange giggles and tears and grow closer together. And Garet especially deserved to have her best friend in the mortal world until they naturally parted ways. Thanks to Braden, that option was no longer possible.

I gave the yearbook back to Garet with a weak smile. "Tamara was pretty special," I said softly.

Garet laughed briefly. "Yeah," she sighed.

The final bell rang, and the small crowd filed out quickly, eager for summer to begin. I hugged all of my friends one last time. "Please keep in touch," I said sincerely. "My family will be in Washington for the month of July, but I'm free all June and August, and I'm sure any of you could come visit me."

"I won't be here," Annalee laughed. "I need to make sure the sunflowers are still in bloom back home. But I'll send all of you a postcard from Kansas, and maybe we can Skype sometime!"

"Make sure you send mine to my camp address or else I won't get it," Craig answered her. Craig had been accepted into a sports and adventure camp for the next two months, so he had a summer full of white water rafting, rock climbing, cross country running, and team sports ahead of him. He was planning to try out for varsity cross country and track next year, since he'd been junior varsity for the last three.

Kirsten wasn't with us because her family had already flown out to meet their two-week Caribbean cruise. We agreed to have an overnight party once she got home.

Garet and Jonathan had both found jobs at the local mall, so I knew where I'd be spending quite a few of my afternoons.

Finally, Jacob and I separated ourselves from the group, waving as we went. "See you soon!" I called happily.

We headed toward the trees, as was our tradition, so I could hop on his back. While we ran, I pressed my hand against his neck. Did you enjoy high school the first time around?

"I never exactly finished it, Nessie," he joked.

I smacked him playfully. Seriously, though. Was it like this? Did you have as much fun as I'm having?

"It was pretty similar." He slowed to a human run so the wind wouldn't obscure his voice so much. "We guys never got much into the yearbook thing, except to mess around, write stupid messages. Being werewolves together, our bond was stronger than a yearbook could ever say, you know?"

I considered that. I bet it's that way for some friends.

"True," Jacob conceded. "But being supernatural helps. There's not much apathy with us – it's either unbreakable friendships or irreversible hate."

Or predetermined romance, I reminded him.

Jake laughed. "Yes, there is that," he agreed cheerfully.

Once you've imprinted… I paused to think of how to phrase my question. Do school and work and life in general just cease to be important? Like, is being in school with me hard to deal with because you'd rather spend all your time being more intimate with me?

Jacob didn't answer for a moment. Eventually he slowed and let me slide from his back, taking my hand in his. I watched his face carefully; his expression was inscrutable. "Yes and no," he finally said.

How so?

"Well with the imprint, as long as I'm with you, everything is sunny," he explained. "I don't really lack anything as long as you're close by where I can listen to your laugh or protect you if you're being threatened." He stopped.

"But…" I spoke aloud for the first time. "Like, when I was a baby, and Rosalie or Momma or Daddy or whoever wanted to hold me, you were reluctant to give me up, right?"

"Ness, I will always need you." Jacob faced me seriously. "It's easy in school, where the expectations are laid out plainly: no PDA, leave room for friends – all that stuff. In your house it's different because my limitations change minute to minute, depending on your family. It's not set in stone." His eyes clouded thoughtfully. "I guess what happens is I don't know when to prepare myself to give you up, so it catches me off guard and I—I have to hold you for just a moment longer."

"Oh." I placed my palm on his forearm. I didn't realize it was such a struggle.

"It's really not that bad," he countered. "It's easier now that we're dating because I know that you won't ever push me away. Defending you isn't as far out of my reach. Then again," he amended, "it's almost harder now because I love you as a friend and a lover at the same time, whereas before we were just friends. My heart has swelled, so…" He couldn't finish.

So now you have more to lose? I ventured.

Jacob struggled to keep his face expressionless, but I could see a frown tugging at his lips. Finally he caught me in a fierce embrace. "Nessie," he whispered urgently. "I know that there are things beyond your control, but please do everything in your power to stay safe. I can't always protect you – as much as I wish I could – and if something happened to you, I could never live with myself. I wouldn't live. There would be no point."

My eyes widened, and I showed Jake my horror. No! No, Jake, you can't think like that! I won't let you! He shook his head, but I stopped him. Think of Billy, think of your pack. Just don't… Tears pricked at my eyes.

Jacob sighed. "Oh, Ness, honey, I didn't mean to upset you," he apologized. He rubbed my arms soothingly.

I sniffed. "I'm fine," I assured him, smiling through the tears. "Please promise me that you won't end yourself, Jacob. I mean, we don't even need to have this conversation right now, right?"

"Right," he agreed readily. "Nothing's ever going to happen to you, so the point is moot."

"Exactly."

Jacob flashed my favorite smile and kissed me quickly but passionately. "Let's head inside," he suggested, tugging me along.

There was a huge commotion when we stepped inside the house. Jasper whirled around furiously, upending furniture and scattering papers, pacing with almost inhuman speed. Jake and I approached carefully. "Uncle Jasper?"

Jasper faced me before I could blink, nostrils flared and eyes black as pitch. "Nessie," he growled. He advanced toward me, but every member of my family jumped between us and Jacob shoved me against the wall, shielding me from view.

Jasper snarled once and then roared in frustration. "Ah, hell!" he exclaimed. I cowered into Jacob's back, afraid Jasper would snap at me again, but instead he fell to the ground and banged his head repeatedly against the floor, likely making dents in the hardwood.

Alice knelt down beside him and placed a hand on either shoulder. "Everything's fine, Jazz. You've shown a lot of self-control today," she soothed, but her voice was tense.

My family relaxed slightly but didn't change their positions. I stepped out next to Jacob, who wrapped one arm protectively around me. "What happened?"

"Yearbook day is always the hardest," Daddy explained quietly. Jasper thrashed silently on the floor. "All of those bodies crowded together in the heat of summer, without any kind of breeze to scatter their scents…the air becomes so concentrated that even mature vampires struggle."

"Usually he chooses to skip, but he didn't want you to miss having your whole family there on your last day of freshman year," Rosalie told me. Her voice, surprisingly, didn't hold a shred of bitterness. My aunt watched Jasper with mere concern in her eyes, and perhaps a bit of sympathy.

"That's why we went hunting yesterday," Alice continued in a broken voice. "We thought that we would be able to avoid temptation if we filled up before the appealing smell was forced on us." Jasper groaned and buried his head in his hands. "It's okay, honey," she comforted. "It was a hard day, but you made it through. You reined in your thirst."

"And look where it got me," he moaned. "I almost attacked my niece just because she's half-human!"

So that explains it. I knelt down where I was so Jasper and I were at eye level but still divided by our family. "I don't hold this against you, Uncle Jasper," I said quietly. "Believe me when I say that you are not a monster, and I love you even when you struggle."

Jasper fixed his eyes on mine and gasped tearless sobs. My family nodded in appreciation and approval.

Alice patted his back. "See? You're doing so well," she commended, her voice more natural than before.

I stood and directed my attention to Grandfather. "Why hasn't he been to hunt again?" I asked.

"We're trying to strengthen him, teach him to resist his cravings," he informed me. "The longer he holds out, the easier it will be the next time."

"So, sometime tomorrow, then?" I guessed.

"Early in the morning," he confirmed. "Alice will accompany him to make sure there aren't any innocent hikers on the trail." Both Momma and Daddy stiffened at his words.

"Why don't we all go hunting?" I suggested cheerfully. Everyone stared at me. "Oh, come on, when's the last time we hunted as a family?"

"Yesterday," they droned in unison.

I crossed my arms. "I didn't get to go!" I complained.

"If I recall correctly, Renesmee," Daddy replied, a hint of a smile on his lips, "we invited you to join us, but you said, and I quote, 'You can't stop Titanic right in the middle. That's a gross injustice!'" He mimicked my voice perfectly.

"It is!" I defended. "You have to get the full experience all at once."

"If I might interject," Momma ventured, "I think that you were just a little too comfortable on the couch last night and enthusiastic about the prospect that you and Jacob would have the house to yourselves for an hour."

Daddy growled but his expression was easygoing. I blushed a little, and Jacob laughed beside me. "Sounds about right," he agreed.

"Hey!" I protested, swatting his arm. "Why don't you tell the family how excited you were to be alone for an hour?"

Jacob's eyes widened, and he glanced at my dad in horror. "That's n-not something we need to discuss right this second," he stammered.

My family and I laughed good-naturedly at his expense. I planted a kiss on his cheek. "You know I love you, Jacob," I pouted.

Jacob groaned. "You little monster," he teased, pulling me into a side-arm hug.

Momma smiled at us. "You know, I wouldn't mind taking a short hunting trip again," she said. "I'll go with you tomorrow, Nessie, if you still want to."

Daddy nodded; of course he would go if Momma was going.

"You'd better count me in, too, after that discussion we had this afternoon," Jacob told me.

"What discussion?" Daddy asked suspiciously. Jacob faced him easily, cocking his head, and I knew he was showing Daddy the part about my being careful. Daddy tried to look merely pensive but his eyes shone with approval. Jacob didn't need to hide something so important concerning Edward Cullen's only daughter.

"Well, a hunting trip with my brother, sister, husband, daughter, and future son-in-law," Momma joked. "This should be fun."

Daddy shot her a glare, but Momma shrugged it off. "Don't bother testing fate," she warned.

I glowed and leaned into Jacob's side. Why would I want to test my fate? It was already perfect the way it was.