Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. I just like messing with the characters :P

Sorry for making you all wait so long. This week has been really crazy so I haven't had much time to update. Please don't hate me.

Chapter 5-Faliure of Lies

Emmett POV

Now it's my turn. Great! I hate this. I mean who goes to a therapist for BEING DUMB! Especially going to a crazy therapist! I am not dumb. I just sometimes say "uneducated" things. Whatever, I just hope for his mental wellbeing that he doesn't yell at me like he did to Bella and Edward. I guess I'll just have to try and not piss him off. Wow, I just thought that like it's possible. As I entered the room I saw what he was now wearing. He was dressed as a clown? Yes, your heard correctly a clown. Why you ask? Well, I can't even answer that myself.

"Hello Emmett, I am guessing you are wondering about my current attire. The answer to why I am dressed as a clown is because I thought this was a good way to catch your attention and keep you focused. This method seems to work on children so it surely must work on you," explained Dr. Pazzo speaking really slowly like talking to a child.

"Why would you think that Doc?" I asked still confused about "his method".

"Well Emmett I understand you are here for being ...well how can I phrase this nicely...stupid," Dr. Pazzo said explaining the theory of my confusion.

"Yup that's what Daddy has brought me here for," I said using my "dumb" voice just so we could get this stupid session over with. I stared absentmindedly at the wall and noticed in the very back corner a small framed certificate. Why didn't anyone notice that before? Oh, right I guess they must have been too busy getting yelled at. The certificate was awarded to John Doe. Hmmm isn't that the name they give to unidentified patients at the hospital (it actually is a name they give to people before they find out who they are). I wonder if he actually is a therapist or if he changed his name to Dr. Pazzo?

"Hey Doc, why is your doctoring certificate given to John Doe?" I asked somewhat curious and the other half of me wanting to waste time so I don't have to be given a punishment.

He turned red really fast and replied quickly, "That's my wife's certificate not mine."

"But that's a guy's name?" I replied questioning his sanity and if he was gay or not.

"They were a poor family. They could only afford one name." he said curtly obviously trying to move on with the subject.

"But you don`t have a ring on your finger or a picture of her on your desk."`I said clearly seeing through his facade of failure lies.

"I do not were a ring to keep it away from FREAKS LIKE YOU! I DON`T HAVE A PICTURE OF HER ON MY DESK BECAUSE I DON`T WANT PATIENTS LIKE YOU STALKING HER AND I don`t know DRINKING HER BLOOD OR SOMETHING!" he yelled turning as red as the chair. Now I know why he keeps that thing around. Great! The vampires out of the bag. Good thing the secret`s out. Now I don`t have to hide my mad vampire skills. `

"Don`t worry Doc we only drink animal blood not humans were vegaterians," I said trying to calm him down and convince him were not the bad vampires.

"What are you talking about Emmett and why do you drink blood at all, I didn`t mean that literally I was just trying to make a point," Dr. Pazzo asked while scribbling on his note pad. Oh crap he`s writing this shit down.

"Ha Ha Ha...psh I don`t... I was just uh... trying to add to your rant and all," I said nervously.

"Oh, good thing to... I thought you were a I don't know ... vampire or a leech or something." he said relieved.

"Ha no vampires here Doc, none at all, what so ever," I replied without humour. That was a close one. I mentally wiped the sweat off my forehead.

"Good to know, now on with the session," he replied clearly not seeing my worrisome expression.

The rest of the session included a long discussion about not saying things that will make me look stupid using the convenient current example. I swear everyone seems to look really dumb when in this office which only makes his job easier and better for him to judge us. By the end of the session I was seriously considering busting through the wall and making a run for it just for something to do I mean this guy can go on for hours and still make you bored out of your mind. Finally when I thought it was all over, and he told me the session ended, when I was about to walk through the door he decides to tell me that I have to take a University course and bring back university level notes so he can asses my progress. Yea I`m sure he can asses university level notes when he probably didn`t go to university at all judging by that faker then fake certificate. Whatever I`ll probably have to do it anyways because Carlisle always makes us stick to our "commitments". Oh well at least I don`t have to walk on fire or paint my car pink. The torture has ended and has been passed off to the next patient; Rosie.

Thanks everyone for reading my story and for commenting. Rosalie and Jacob are next to endure the wrath of Dr. Pazzo. So press that little blue button and review for me. I`ll update faster if you do.

Luv ya,

Francesca