Author's Note: Whew! Finally got this chapter done. It was determined to shape and reshape itself as I wrote it, and it wound up being quite different than how I had planned. But it feels good at this point, and I'm convinced that the story has its own plans that sometimes override mine. Thanks to everyone for the really nice comments and questions; if you've sent me a message and haven't heard back from me, I apologize. I'm trying to work through them when I can, giving enough attention to each one as I reply. I've also been busy trying to keep with some of the more recent Liley stories that have been posted, because we're getting some good ones put up. I expect that with summer here and school out for many writers, the number of stories and chapters being posted should increase. Oh, and if later in this chapter you'd like a visual component to Lilly and Miley looking all sweet as they sit next to each other and holds hands, go watch them on the Tyra Banks show again. Parts 5 and 6, as they're posted on YouTube. It'll make you smile at how cute they are together, I promise.
Here are my standard disclaimers: I make no claims on any of Disney's, Miley Cyrus', Emily Osment's or Hannah Montana's trademarks or copyrights, and no infringement is intended on them or those of any other artist or publication mentioned. Be forewarned that this story most certainly will contain femslash. If love and affection between two consenting young adults of the same sex bothers you, I suggest you turn right around and find something else to read. Keep any flames to yourself and remember that what our world needs now is more love and acceptance, not more hate. Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated!
We Got Nerve
by Jo P.
Chapter 12: Clarity
Forget the application
You're the right girl for the task
Let me take you on vacation
Just do it—you don't have to ask
--The Donnas;"Take It Off" (as covered by Hannah Montana for Lola)
As the sun finally finished climbing above the horizon, the group of young men and women cleaning one stretch of beach in the city of Malibu stopped for a break.
"We really appreciate all of you coming down and helping out today, Miley, Lilly," said Sarah Sweet. "Things are getting better, but sometimes it's still tough to get enough people to get all the work done."
Lilly smiled as Miley handed her their thermos filled with Gatorade. "I think the world is happy to have someone like you looking out for her, Sarah," said Lilly before she took a drink from the thermos.
Sarah smiled as she sat down on the sandy beach. "She needs all the help we can give her," she said simply. As a shadow fell over her, she looked up. "Hey babe," she said to Cassie as the dark-haired woman sat down beside her girlfriend.
"Your nieces are so cute," Cassie said to Miley and Lilly. "How old are they again?"
"Peyton turns fifteen next month, and Melody just turned thirteen," answered Miley. "I think they've had a good time these last two weeks."
"They've had a great time, Miles," Lilly said as she smoothly moved some of Miley's long hair from in front of her wife's lovely face. "I bet as soon as we get back to Misty Hollow that they'll start asking their parents to move out here."
"Hey Aunt Miley, Aunt Lilly?"
Lilly and Miley turned to see Peyton jogging toward them, not at a full run but not taking her time, either. "What is it, Peyton?" asked Miley.
As Peyton reached the circle of four friends sitting there, she said, "Do you mind if we head on back to the house? I don't think Mel is feeling real good."
Both Miley and Lilly could see the concern on their older niece's face, informing them that she wasn't just making this up as a way to get out of any more work today. "Okay," Miley said, getting up quickly. "Where is she?"
"She said she was going to wait by the car," Peyton said, turning to look at the parking lot. She turned back to Sarah and Cassie. "I'm really sorry to have to run out on you like this, honest!"
Sarah smiled. "It's okay. I'm happy that you came out and helped as much as you did."
Cassie stood and said, "It's really nice to meet you, Peyton. Have a good flight back home."
"It was great meeting you two!" said Peyton happily. "And Sarah, good luck with your doctorate. Maybe I might go to college out here one day."
Sarah grinned. "Well, if you ever do apply to UCLA I'll see what I can do, but I suspect your aunts might push for USC," she said, giving a teasing look to Miley and Lilly.
"We'll push for whichever school fits her best," Lilly said. "Okay, we need to go check on Mel. See you later!" Lilly took off a run, temporarily leaving Miley behind in her haste to get to the car and check on Melody.
"We'll try to help out some more when we get back," Miley said, waving. "Oh, you still have that spare key, Cassie?"
Cassie held up her keyring, giving the keys a jangling shake. "Got it right here," she said, a smug look on her face. "And we'll be happy to keep an eye on the place for you while you're gone."
"Thanks, both of you," Miley said. She gave each of them a hug, then she broke into a run across the sand toward her wife and niece, both now at the red Mustang in the parking lot.
As Miley reached the car, she saw that Lilly had opened the door and was sitting in the back seat, holding Melody while the thirteen-year-old buried her face in Lilly's shoulder and cried. "What's wrong?" asked Miley, concern filling her thoughts.
Lilly felt that concern wash through her own mind, and it was powerful enough that she had to take a second to refocus her concentration. She looked up at Miley and tried to send a soothing thought to her best friend, but it was hard at the moment. "Trish broke up with her," Lilly said sadly.
"Aw Mel, I'm sorry," Miley said as she sat in the front seat, starting the car but leaving it in Park as she turned to look into the back. "Dang it, why did she do that?" she said, not really expecting an answer.
Melody lifted her face from Lilly's shoulder, and the redness in her eyes made Miley's heart ache just as much as Lilly's had when she first saw the young girl's condition. "She said that she cared about me a lot, but that she wanted to try to be straight." She gulped down a breath of air before she continued, "How do you try to be straight?" she asked loudly, turning to look at Miley. "I mean, if you know you're gay, then why keep makin' yourself miserable by tryin' to be something you're not?"
"Oh, Melody," Miley said as she leaned over the seat and kissed her niece on the top of her head. "Some people are too scared to admit what they know in their heart, inchworm," Miley said, using a nickname that she and Lilly hadn't called Melody since she was nine. She smiled sadly as she said, "Not everybody is as brave as you and your sister are."
Melody looked over at her big sister who, despite all their arguments and tiffs over the years, had always been there to stand up for her. As she looked at Peyton, the fourteen-year-old reached across the seat and took her sister's hand. "If she's not smart enough to see how terrific you are, Mel, then she doesn't deserve you," Peyton said firmly.
"It's not fair!" Melody suddenly shouted, making everyone else in the car jump. "She should have at least tried! She should have tried to give this a chance!"
Lilly looked at Miley. "I think we need some serious medicine for this, honey," she said, pleased when she saw Miley smile knowingly. As Miley turned around and buckled her seat belt, Peyton did the same. As the car pulled out of the parking place and began its trip to the Marble Slab Creamery, Lilly continued to hold her niece.
"It's not fair," Melody muttered again, morosely.
"No, it's not," Lilly said softly. "But life isn't fair, Melody. It's full of good things and bad things, and we have to learn the enjoy the good and move past the bad."
Melody sniffled, then she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I think I loved her," she said sadly, closing her eyes as tears spilled forth once again.
"Oh, Mel," Lilly said as she looked up to see Peyton watching the two of them closely. She gave Peyton what she hoped was a soothing smile, then she said, "At your age emotions are so strong that losing someone you love can be heartbreaking." Without looking Lilly reached over the front seat and rested her hand on Miley's right shoulder, giving it a loving squeeze as she felt Miley's fingers curl around her hand. "And having someone break up with you can seem like the end of the world, especially if you really liked them. But there's going to be someone out there who's meant for you, Melody Burns, and you just have to keep plugging along until you find her."
Miley kept her eyes on the road as she continued to drive, but it took all her concentration to keep the car in the road. Lilly's words had made Miley think of losing her mother all those years ago and how that loss had devastated her for quite some time; obviously Lilly had known that. The simple contact of Lilly's hand on her shoulder had given Miley immediate comfort, just as Lilly had known it would. However, the tears that were collecting in Miley's eyes weren't tears of sadness—they were tears of happiness, for having a partner who understood her as well as Lilly did and who was always ready to offer her love and support, even before Miley knew she needed it. I want Melody and Peyton to have this. It might be too much to ask for, but I want them to experience a love that fills their hearts and souls like Lilly fills mine. As silence took hold through the car, Miley said over her shoulder, "Thank you, Lil."
Lilly gave Miley's fingers a squeeze. "You're welcome, Miles," she said warmly.
"She was hot, too," Melody said abruptly. After a few seconds of stunned silence, Peyton broke the silence with her laughter. She was quickly joined by Lilly, then Miley, then finally Melody herself. "I mean, she was really hot!" Melody added through her laughter.
"Okay, she was really hot," Peyton admitted. "She had a great ass."
"Peyton!" hissed Miley.
"No, her ass really was terrific, Aunt Miley," Melody said, nodding her head. "Nice and strong, and her legs rocked, too."
Lilly covered Melody's mouth with her hand. "Okay, let's not make your Aunt Miley run out of the road," she said quickly.
"Hotter than any of my boyfriends so far," Peyton grudgingly admitted. "For now," she quickly added.
"Are you two competing or something?" asked Lilly, looking back and forth between the two sisters.
"Uh uh."
"No way!"
Lilly simply smiled and sat back in her seat. "Yeah, yeah, tell it to someone who might believe it," she said quietly.
After thirty minutes and two scoops of ice cream therapy, everyone was feeling better. Melody was still obviously sad, but she was no longer crying every few minutes. "I just can't imagine trying to live like something I'm not," she finally said to no one in particular.
Miley rubbed Melody's back. "Mel, we all do that to some degree," she said. "It's dangerous and pretty dang scary to let the whole world see all of who you are. You and your sister are very special and very fortunate to have been brought up to be as accepting of others as you are. You're two strong young women, and you have to always remember that."
Melody looked at Miley, a sad smile on her face. "I think Trish is hurtin' too, Aunt Miley. She tried her best not to cry, but I could see it in her eyes, how torn up she was."
"Trish is wrestling with what Miley and I went through for quite some time, Melody," Lilly said from across the table.
"I don't think Trish is dealin' with exactly what we were, hon," Miley said as she reached across the table to take Lilly's hand. She ran her thumb over her wife's hand lovingly as she said, "Trish seems more worried about what other people are thinkin' of her. We couldn't really give a flip about what other people thought; we were just worried about losin' each other as friends."
Lilly considered Miley's words, and the more she thought about them the more she saw her best friend was right. Certainly there had been fear and concern about how their family and friends would react to finding out she was in love with Miley, but the fear of losing the girl who had become part of her life loomed large over all other worries. "I guess you're right, Miles," Lilly said, "but regardless of exactly what it is that someone's afraid of, finally accepting that you're in love with another girl—or another boy, for guys—is pretty darn scary any way you cut it."
"So when did you know, Melody?" asked Miley out of curiosity.
Melody grinned as Peyton started laughing, nearly choking on her bite of ice cream. Lilly slapped Peyton's back until the fourteen-year-old was able to get her coughing under control. "This is a good one," croaked Peyton, still smiling.
"Well," said Melody as she took another lick of her ice cream, "we were at this sleepover last year at one of my friend's houses when they snuck these boys in to see us. We started playing this game where you'd spin a cell phone twice, and the two people it pointed to went into a dark closet for a few minutes."
Miley and Lilly both nodded. "'Seven Minutes in Heaven' is what they called it when we were in school," Miley said. "Never really had played it, though."
"Me either," said Lilly. "I was okay with a kiss or holding hands, but not making out like that. At least not with anyone but my sweetheart, once I figured that much out." She flashed Miley a brilliant smile over their entwined hands, still resting on the table openly.
Melody gave her aunts an approving smile as she continued, "Anyway, it came up for me to go in the closet with Gary Boring, this one boy in our class."
"Eww!" said Peyton. "The one whose brother got caught jerking off in the bathroom last year?"
"Yeah, that's him," said Melody as Miley and Lilly stifled their laughter, barely. "Anyway, for me it wasn't exactly seven minutes in heaven, more like ten seconds in hell. That was how long it took for him to get himself kneed in the balls for tryin' to put his hands up my pajamas."
Now Miley and Lilly couldn't hold in their laughter any longer. The heavy hearts from earlier this morning needed some happy form of release, and the humor of the story fit the bill nicely. Even Melody laughed a bit at the memory, and Peyton just leaned forward to rest her head on the table as she cackled, her upper body quivering with laughter.
"So anyway," said Melody, "they decided I had to go again since I didn't make it the whole time, so when they hurried up and spun the phone again, it pointed to Bridget Brookers."
"Now, ya'll know that I'm into boys," interjected Peyton as she lifted her head to look at her aunts, "but that Bridget was cute. Long, curly blonde hair, bright blue eyes, cheerleader, track star, she just had it goin' on!"
Melody grinned. "Well, by then I was so mad at havin' to do it again that I just grabbed her arm and pulled her into the closet with me." She sighed and took another lick of her ice cream. "We lasted the whole seven minutes that round," she finally said with a smile and a happy sigh.
"I heard that they had to pull you two out of the closet," Peyton said with a wry grin. "And then off each other."
"Bridget was a really good kisser," Melody admitted proudly.
Peyton looked over at Miley. "Bridget was Melody's very first girlfriend," she said proudly. "And I still think that Mom and Dad liked her better than anyone else."
"What happened to her?" asked Lilly.
"She moved to Texas," Melody said, a twinge of hurt in her voice. "I talked to her for a while, until she told me she had found a new girlfriend out there. But things didn't go real well for her, and she was having trouble at her school last I had heard."
"When was the last time you talked to her?" asked Miley. All she and Lilly had heard of this was when Melody had told them she had found a girlfriend a little over a year ago. Now she found herself curious to know more.
"Forever," sighed Melody.
"More specific would be nice," said Lilly, giving her niece a slightly chastising look.
"Six months or so," Melody clarified.
"And you haven't tried to keep in touch with her?" asked Miley.
"Why, so I could hear about how much fun she was having with her new girlfriend?" countered Melody, and by the sudden rise in her voice it was evident that there was still some emotion for her very first girlfriend running deep inside her. She looked down at the table and quietly said, "That would hurt too much."
Peyton caught Miley's eye from across the table, and she very slightly shook her head, trying to warn her aunt that this wound was still too painful to explore, especially now that it had been made worse by losing another girlfriend, even one that she had only been dating for two weeks.
Miley caught Peyton's gesture, and she understood the meaning behind it. She put her arm around Melody and said, "You know that if you ever want to talk..."
Melody looked up into her aunt's blue eyes. "I know I can always talk to you or Aunt Lilly. And thank you, Aunt Miley."
"Don't worry about thankin' me," Peyton said, feigning offense. "My feelings don't matter anyway." As she turned to look away, a wadded-up napkin hit her in the side of the head.
"Thank you, Peyton," said Melody, a smirk on her face. "Even though you can still make my life miserable at times."
Peyton grinned. "Same here, little sis. Same here. And you're very welcome."
Twenty-six hours later, a private jet pulled away from Los Angeles International Airport, bound for Nashville. Hannah Montana was singing in a special Christmas show at the Grand Ole Opry that night, and Miley had made sure that two extra tickets were being held for Peyton and Melody. Neither girl had ever been to a live show at the Opry, and the chance to see Hannah Montana perform only added to the thrill of the moment.
"Do we get to go backstage?" asked Peyton, her excitement showing through the normally reserved exterior she projected to the world.
"Yes, Peyton, of course you get to go backstage with us," Miley said, dressed as the blonde musician. "The two of you get to stay with Roxy and Lola when I'm onstage. And Roxy will be sharing a room with you at the Opryland Hotel tonight."
"Then we get to take the limousine back to Knoxville?" asked Lilly, wearing a new wig of shimmering white hair dusted with tiny specks of pink, yellow and blue.
Miley nodded. "Yep. Daddy's bringing it in late tonight, and we ride back with him in the morning. He'll probably have a car rented for us somewhere in Knoxville and then we can all ride back to Misty Hollow when the limo drops us off."
"That works," said Lilly happily as she snuggled next to Miley on the love seat they were sharing. She carefully ran her left hand under the bottom of Miley's shirt, resting her hand on her wife's slightly enlarged belly. "I love you," Lilly said softly in Miley's ear as she rubbed the warm skin of the woman she loved completely.
"I love you, baby," Miley whispered back, turning to kiss her wife softly. As they kissed, Miley could feel her body responding to her lover's touch, her kiss, her scent mingled with Lola's perfume.
Lilly grinned against Miley's lips as she shifted to hold her best friend more tightly. "I love it when she kicks so I can feel her," she said, pulling just far enough away from Miley's lips to speak clearly. She opened her eyes to see Miley's shimmering sapphire eyes looking back into her own.
"She can feel how excited I get when you touch me, hon, plus she knows that you're her mommy too. That's why she kicks your hand like she does; she's tellin' you that she loves you and that she can't wait to meet you."
Lilly couldn't keep the grin off her face as she felt two, then three more kicks against her gentle grip. "Well, that makes three of us, because I can't wait to meet her either!" she said, softly squealing with delight.
The flight went smoothly, and they arrived early enough to make a quick stop at the Montana Children's Center, the combination school and housing facility that they had built and donated to the city of Nashville five years ago. It had been almost a year since they had last visited the facility, but that time away was quickly forgotten as squealing hordes of girls and boys thronged around them and their guests. They only had a few hours to spend on this visit, but they squeezed everything they could out of their time there, seeing many of the new improvements to the school building and the new apartments that had been built to expand the center. After a loud and raucous goodbye from the center's children, families and staff, the four of them hopped back into the limousine and went directly to the Grand Ole Opry.
The Christmas show was a different experience than usual for Miley and Lilly. The Opry had been decorated with greenery and red ribbons and bows seemingly everywhere, and even though it was much colder in Tennessee than it had been in California, the warmth and happiness in the building were more than enough to lift everyone's spirits. There were over two dozen artists performing that night, and knowing that Hannah Montana wasn't the center of attention allowed everyone to relax considerably. Peyton and Melody got to stay backstage with Miley and Lilly, with Roxy secretly enjoying having two more clients to watch over. Having the teenagers present reminded her of those days several years ago when she found herself frequently tested by Miley and Lilly, teenagers themselves at that time. But when the two of them revealed their love to each other, much of the immature behavior that Roxy had come to expect from teenagers had ceased, replaced by a warm, caring love between her two clients that made them seem much older than they truly were. As proud as Roxy was for her two stars now all grown up, it felt nice to have two new teenagers to keep an eye on—although she would never admit that.
"This is really nice, Hannah," Lilly said from where they were sitting just off to the right of the stage. A chair had been brought out for Hannah to sit in given her pregnancy, but she had refused to sit unless Lola had one too. It had only taken a moment to procure a second seat, which the two girls scooted up next to the first so they could hold hands while watching the other artists perform.
As they sat there, Lilly leaning against her girlfriend and frequently placing little kisses on Miley's shoulder, arm and head, several other artists stopped by to congratulate them on their future daughter. Taylor Swift had gone so far as to buy a diaper bag and matching backpack for them, leading to her getting matching hugs from the mothers-to-be. They made sure that Taylor met Peyton and Melody, nearly causing both girls to faint. Peyton in particular had always loved the talented singer's music, and being this close to one of her favorite artists was yet another thrill of a lifetime. "I'd go gay for her," Peyton would happily say later, stars still in her eyes, and no one could doubt the sincerity of her words.
The rest of the night passed by like a dream for all four young women, with Peyton and Melody staying with Roxy in the suite next door to Miley and Lilly. It was after eleven when they finally reached the rooms, and Lilly immediately put her yawning wife to bed. "You've got to get some more sleep, Miles!" Lilly said as she steered Miley to the king-sized bed.
"Not sure why I'm so tired," Miley grumbled as she tossed her red leather jacket into the chair next to their bed.
Lilly gave her an astounded look as she took off her purple skirt. "You think it might have something to do with being pregnant, sweetheart?" she asked sarcastically. She tossed her purple skirt at Miley, narrowly missing her wife's head.
"Ha ha," said Miley as she pulled her shirt off, leaving just her light gray bra and matching panties on.
"Yep, I know I'm funny," Lilly said pleasantly as she threw herself down on the large bed, bouncing lightly as she hit. She crawled across the bed until she reached Miley, then she got on her hands and knees and kissed Miley's belly tenderly.
Miley reached down and wrapped an arm around Lilly's head, holding her lover's lips against her skin, still tingling from the contact between them. "You're more than just funny," Miley said. "You're everything to me." She smiled down at Lilly, her natural blonde curls hanging free from Lola's wig that she had worn most of the day.
Lilly placed several more kisses on Miley's bare stomach, finally ending by rolling over onto her side and gazing up into Miley's bright blue eyes. She grinned happily as she reached up and took Miley's right hand with her own. "You're everything to me too, Miles. And you know that."
Miley smiled down at her best friend who had been half of her heart for the last eleven years. "Get those clothes off," she said with a purr. "I'm ready for bed."
"Okay, but I need to run to the bathroom first," said Lilly as she sat up and skipped to the bathroom.
Miley finished taking off her bra and panties, tossing them into the seat on top of her jacket, shirt and pants. She turned down the bed and slid into the cool sheets, smiling as she felt her body begin to relax against the smooth fabric. As she heard giggling that heralded the arrival of her wife, Miley's smile grew even wider. Her body shivered in anticipation of Lilly's touch, and as the covers were peeled back she said, "'Bout time you got done, slowpoke!"
"Had to brush my teeth too," Lilly said as she slid across the bed, not stopping until she was lying pressed against Miley's back. She yanked the covers back over them, even though the combination of their body heat would probably drive them to kick most of the covers off during the night. For now the silky sheets felt heavenly, only surpassed by how good being next to Miley felt. Lilly kissed Miley on the shoulder, prompting her wife to turn her head toward her so Lilly could kiss her on the lips as well. "Love you, Miles," Lilly said as she wrapped her arms around her wife, moving her right arm to support Miley's head and her left hand to lovingly hold Miley's right breast.
"Mmm, love you too, Lilly Bear," Miley said as she reached up and rested her left hand atop Lilly's where it covered her breast, already drifting into the pleasant grip of slumber now that her bed was complete. It had been a long day, and they both needed some rest. Neither of them had to say anything about making love or not; instead it was just something understood between them, when to reconnect sexually and when to use simple intimacy to reinforce that ephemeral but unbreakable connection. Maybe that might change during the night as their subconscious minds took over during their dreams, but for now they were perfectly content to just hold each other and get some much-needed rest.
Three thousand miles away and endless emotional states apart, two women glared at each other across a coffee table in Los Angeles.
"All I'm saying is that I don't think it's gonna look good to be launching an attack in the press during Christmas," Mikayla said, slicing her hand through the air in front of her.
"Well, if you don't do something soon then you're going lose all the momentum you got out of your confrontation with them at the movie premiere two weeks ago," countered Margot, her face stern with irritation.
"Oh yeah, the momentum," Mikayla sneered. "I had forgotten about that. I don't think I've ever had that many people wanting to kick my ass at one time before." She took a drink of her sangria and leaned her head back to look up at the fan on the ceiling, lazily spinning in the same direction it always did, always moving but never going anywhere new. "I'm surprised no one tried."
"Your record sales went up thirty percent the next week," said Margot. "It worked out well. Especially since nobody did kick your ass."
"Not for any lack of intent. I thought that Lola bitch was going to knock the shit out of me right there. Remind me to make sure she's not there next time I try to scare Blondie."
"Good luck with that. They're together almost all the time."
Mikayla leaned forward, placing her glass on the coffee table. "Blondie and Rainbow Brite," she sighed. "So how can we turn their being inseparable against them? I mean, there's got to be some way to use that in our favor."
"I'm working on that," said Margot as she took a drink of her coffee.
Mikayla made a face at her manager. "How the fuck can you drink that this late and still sleep? It's ten o'clock."
"You get used to it," said Margot. "And putting the right flavoring in it helps, too," she added with a knowing smile.
"Yeah, I bet," Mikayla said, turning away to look across the room. The box she had been looking at earlier that evening still sat in the corner of the room, unnoticed by Margot so far. Realizing that she was pointedly looking at it, Mikayla quickly looked back at her manager, only to see Margot staring at her intently. Shit.
"Did I interrupt something when I came over?" Margot asked, the neutral tone of her voice not quite disguising the probing undertone.
"Nah," said Mikayla, reaching for her sangria and taking another long drink of it. "Just thinking about the next single." Play it cool, don't let her see that you care.
Margot stared at her for long, uncomfortable seconds before quietly saying, "Bullshit."
Mikayla sighed. Great. Exactly what I need. "Look, I came across some pictures I thought I had thrown out, okay?"
"Pictures of...?"
"Yeah." Mikayla fixed Margot with a glare. "Like I said, I thought I had thrown them out."
Margot set her coffee mug down on the table, exactly over Mikayla's face on the new Rolling Stone. "Would've been better for you if you had, probably," she said, her voice not exactly threatening as much as frank.
"Yeah, probably," Mikayla agreed. She looked at the cardboard box again. She wasn't going to go over there, not with fucking Margot here. That bitch had already taken what parts of her life that Mikayla hadn't ruined herself; she sure as hell couldn't have those memories too. "But I didn't."
Margot leaned forward, locking gazes with her young client. "You realize there's no chance of things ever working out, right? Because you really fucked things up so badly that if he ever found out half of what you did, he'd probably kill you himself."
Mikayla couldn't help but shudder. Margot was a manipulative, domineering bitch, but what really hurt was when she was completely right. Mikayla had fucked up her life, and nothing she ever did could entirely put the pieces back together the way she sometimes dreamed about. But she had accepted her mistakes, and now she was trying to make things right, as least for some of the people she had hurt so badly. "Is that a threat?" she said, still looking at the larger woman sitting ten feet away from her.
Margot laughed, and the suddenness of that response startled Mikayla. "No, that wasn't a threat," she said as she stood. "If I threatened you, you'd know it, believe me. Besides, I don't need to threaten you anymore, do I?"
Mikayla turned away, willing the tears she felt building to stay hidden, at least long enough for the bitch to leave. "No, you don't," she said through gritted teeth. "I understand the way things stand."
"Good girl," said Margot, and the syrupy tone of her voice made Mikayla want to vomit. "I'll call you tomorrow and we can go over some of what the writers have come up with for your upcoming interview." She walked to the kitchen before she turned and said, "Oh, I saw you had gone to Mass the other day. Nice touch, especially with this coming up. It'll make it look like you're on the moral high ground."
"I feel like a hypocrite," muttered Mikayla.
As Margot walked to the door, she called over her shoulder, "That's because you are," she said with distinct humor in her voice. "I'll lock the door behind me."
As Mikayla heard the door close and the lock snap into place, she threw herself lengthwise onto the couch and let the pent-up tears go, hitting the cushions with her fist as they muffled her cries of anger. Finally she threw her head back and simply screamed, a long scream meaningless except for the sheer frustration that gave it voice.
As she waited for the echo to fade, she swallowed against her dry throat. "Well, that felt better," she said with a dark smile. She picked up her glass and Margot's coffee mug and carried them into the kitchen. Normally she'd let the maid clean up tomorrow, but she didn't want to see any trace of the other woman's presence right now. "Fucking bitch," she mumbled as she set the glass and mug in the sink. "Moral high ground. What a bunch of shit." She walked back into the living room, picking up the Harmony One remote control that ran pretty much her entire living room. "They've been married for five fucking years, they don't so much as look at anyone else, they don't drink, they don't smoke, they don't do drugs, they don't get arrested, and to top it all off they're gonna be the future fucking Moms of the Year. How in the name of Jesus, Mary and Joseph hangin' off the cross am I supposed to beat all that?"
She turned on the remote and hit the button marked Watch TV. She grumbled to herself as she waited for the system to power itself on and randomly select one of her favorite channels, the way she had the system programmed by the installers. "Oh, Gee, Bob," she said to herself sarcastically, "I really think that Hannah and Lola Montana are corrupting America's youth with their really horrible message of love and acceptance. Someone needs to stop them before we all start getting along. And that whole charity of theirs that gives clothes and food and whatever the fuck else to kids that don't have anything? Pure evil, if you ask me."
She laughed once, and for a moment she let herself enjoy the honest—if black—humor in her words. Then the television came up on E!, and Mikayla was treated to a quite lovely shot of Hannah and Lola Montana at the premiere of "Above and Beyond," both of them stunning in their gowns and smiles as they held hands while walking the red carpet. As much as Mikayla hated them, her respect for them was slowly growing, despite her wishes. She hadn't yet gotten them to compromise their principals, even when she pushed them. And she could completely understand them standing up to protect each other.
It takes guts to stand up and be willing to sacrifice yourself to protect someone you love, not to take the easy way out. God knows I finally learned that one the hard way. She leaned back on the couch and debated changing the channel.
"Fuck," she said softly, tossing the remote onto the coffee table without switching to another station. "Some nights I just can't freaking win."
The next morning saw a dark blue Trailblazer make its way along the curvy road leading down into Misty Hollow, Tennessee. Miley was driving, with Lilly in the passenger seat and Peyton and Melody in the back.
"We're gonna drop you two off at Mamaw's," Miley said, "then we have to run somewhere for a bit."
"Where are you goin'?" asked Peyton, composing a text message to send to one of her friends. Reception was spotty along the narrow mountain road, but she had previously informed her aunts that one particular spot in Mamaw's backyard had three bars of signal, more than sufficient to send and receive texts and phone calls. She had declined to reveal how long finding that one spot had taken, despite Miley's attempt to pry that information out of her.
Lilly looked over at Miley. No sign of fear and dread could be seen on her wife's face, nor was Lilly expecting to find any now when this subject came up. "It's someplace private," Lilly said carefully, not wanting to reveal more than Miley would be comfortable with. But as she spoke, she could feel a feeling of tingling warmth in her chest, a feeling from Miley that Lilly had learned to associate with trusting someone, usually with a secret. She reached over and took Miley's right hand. "Are you sure?" she asked Miley.
Miley glanced at Lilly and nodded with a thin smile. "Yeah, I'm sure," she said.
"Okay, that is just entirely creepy when you two talk without saying everything," said Melody, goosebumps rising on her arms.
Ignoring that last comment, Lilly said, "One of the first places we go whenever we come back here is to go see Miley's mom."
There was silence in the vehicle for a few seconds, broken when Melody asked, "But I thought that your mom was de—" The smack of Peyton's hand on her arm caused a startled Melody to break off her sentence abruptly.
Tears would have come to Miley if not for the comfort of Lilly's presence next to her, but with her best friend's support there was no need for tears. Not now, not ever again when it came to this subject. "She is," Miley said, being careful to make her voice light and friendly as she spoke. She didn't want to make her niece feel any worse than she probably already did for speaking without thinking. "We always go up to the cemetery and see her grave. We fill her in on how things are going, and it's like she can hear us when we're there."
Melody looked at her sister. Peyton silently mouthed the word freaky to her younger sister, getting an earnest nod in reply as Melody rubbed her stinging arm.
It took twenty minutes to get the girls and their luggage unloaded at Ruthie Stewart's house. Miley and Lilly had bought two extra suitcases that they had given their nieces to put all their new purchases in, plus a garment bag to carry their dresses back home. The two of them had ignored the chastising look from their Mamaw, instead hurrying back out to their car to drive to the cemetery.
As they parked the four-wheel-drive vehicle in the small gravel cemetery, Miley and Lilly stepped out of the car, closing the doors with solid thumps. The fine gravel crunched under their feet as they walked through the woods, surrounded by trees mostly barren but with a few still sporting green needles. Wordlessly they walked in time, holding hands as they kept their eyes fixated on the clearing ahead of them, spotted with light and dark grey headstones of various sizes and shapes. They made their way through the front section of the cemetery, continuing to walk until they reached the far back corner of the cemetery.
They stopped in front of the familiar large headstone that marked the resting place of Miley's mother, Brooke Stewart. Lilly reached out to touch the stone, with Miley resting her hand atop the cold stone next to her, close enough that they were slightly overlapping.
"Hey Momma," Miley said quietly. "It's almost Christmas time, and we wanted to stop and say hi to you. We just got back into town for the holidays."
Lilly flipped her hand over, moving it underneath Miley's to hold her wife's hand, noticeably cold at the moment. "We have some good news for you, Mrs. Stewart," she said. "And I think you'll be proud of your daughter. I know I sure am."
"You'd also be proud of your daughter-in-law," said Miley, looking at Lilly teasingly. "Since she got me pregnant." She looked back down at the headstone, kneeling down to stare at the name chiseled into the stone on the right side. "Yeah, that's right, you're gonna be a grandma. Well, again. I know Jackson and Kaela beat us to it, but we had to work a little harder than they did." She felt Lilly move to stand behind her. She leaned against Lilly's warm legs as she felt Lilly's hand squeeze her shoulder through her coat. "I really hope you don't mind, Momma, but we want to name her after you. We talked about it, and Lilly said that she thought it would be great to name our first child after you. I think she knew that I wanted to do it even before I did." Now a tear trickled its way down her cheek, but Miley wasn't ashamed or embarrassed about these tears. "We miss you, Momma, but we know that you're still here, watchin' over us like you said you would."
"We love you," Lilly said softly. "And we always will. And your grandchildren will, too. We promise to raise them the best that we can, and we'll give them all the love that they could ever want. We promise." She helped Miley stand, giving her some room when Miley bent over to brush the needles and leaves off her knees.
As Miley bent over, she swept the debris from her jeans. She stood up and looked at Lilly, grinning playfully at the funny expression on her best friend's face. "What's that face for, Lil?" Miley said playfully. "You look like you've seen—" Miley felt her words freeze in her throat. She turned, following Lilly's gaze over the headstone to a blurry figure standing no farther than twenty feet away from them.
Lilly reached out and took Miley's hand, and immediately the blurriness faded, replaced by the same face and smile Miley still remembered all these years later, wearing a light blue jacket that Miley suddenly remembered wrapping as a Christmas present for her mother the year before she died. "H-hi, Momma," she stammered out, scarcely believing her eyes.
Lilly was speechless. Only through sheer willpower could she make her lips work enough to say, "Mrs. Stewart?" with a weak voice.
"Hello, Miley, Lilly," said Brooke Stewart, her voice just slightly different than Miley remembered it. Even Lilly could tell there was an ethereal quality to her speech, something too subtle to quantify but definitely present.
"Why can we see her and hear her, Miley?" asked Lilly, the pitch of her voice rising slightly as it tended to do when she was startled or nervous. "I mean, we're awake, not asleep. Right?"
Miley looked at her wife. "We've gotta be awake. I mean, we drove back here, we walked here, and we're standing up, not sitting down where we could fall asleep." Suddenly a flash of fear surged through Miley, and she turned to her mother and frantically asked, "We're not dead, are we?! Please tell me we're not dead!"
Brooke smiled. "No, Miley, you're not dead," she reassured the two young women staring at her. "And neither are you, Lilly."
"So why can we see you?" asked Lilly, still apprehensive. "When before we couldn't talk to you except in our dreams?"
"Love, Lilly," said Brooke, the smile of a proud mother on her face. "It was always the love between the two of you that let you see me and hear me in your dreams, and now that love has grown even more. It's now shared between three of you, not just two." She pointed with an open hand to Miley's stomach. "Your child was created from love, Miley, the strong, pure love the two of you share. No matter what anyone might say, your child is a gift straight from God, a sign of what miracles love can work if we believe in it with all our hearts." She smiled, then her face became serious as she said, "And if anyone can't see that, then they couldn't tell a possum from a parsnip!"
Miley immediately laughed, with Lilly sputtering and joining in the laughter just seconds later. After long seconds Miley got her laughter under control, then she said, "I still miss you, Momma."
"Oh, my little Miley girl," said Brooke, reaching out but stopping short of touching her daughter's cheek, "please don't miss me. I'm always gonna be there, watchin' over all of you. You just can't see me most of the time." Brooke looked at Lilly, and her face beamed. "Plus you've got the prettiest little wife I ever did see, there to hold you and love you every step of the way. She's gonna do a better job of watchin' out for you than I could."
"Thank you," said Lilly, her voice nearly a whisper. "Will our baby be able to see you?" she asked curiously.
Brooke looked puzzled for a moment. "Well, I don't rightly know," she finally said. "But if she's as smart and has a big, lovin' heart like her mommas do, then I bet she just might," she added with a smile as she faded away, leaving only a scent on the breeze like that of wildflowers and rain.
"Goodbye, Momma," Miley said, looking up to the sky. "We both love you."
Lilly put her arm around Miley's shoulders. "All three of us love you," she called out, a bit louder than Miley. "And Merry Christmas," she added with a bright smile.
Author's Afterword: I've been thinking quite seriously about making a change in the plans for the next few stories. This story is, obviously, the fifth one in my Lileyverse series, and I had planned on writing two more after this one to complete a septology. However, I think that there's just still too much that I want our heroines to experience to fit into two more stories after this one. Therefore, I think I'm going to expand the series to a total of nine stories. Yes, I like odd numbers if you're wondering.
If anyone was offended at Mikayla's lack of regard for religion (and pretty much everything else except herself), feel free to take it up with her. She has her reasons, whether we would see them as justified or not. I have to be careful to not get into too deep a discussion about her motivations just yet, because that would be revealing too much at this point. Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! See you in a bit!
-- Jo --