Disclaimer:do not own anything I just like messing with the Cullen's mind :p

Chapter 6-I'm the One Who Understands You

Jacob POV
Oh my gosh! I have a date today... I mean like totally awesome therapy session with my lover, I mean Dr. Pazzo... my therapist. It's so obvious that he wanted private session with me because he's totally in love with me. I mean how couldn't anyone love this face, clearly not Bella, but whatever. Just because she can't take my total hotness, and just because I'm a little bit homo doesn't mean anything. It's her fault I gave up on girls. Just because I'm part dog says nothing about my real self. I mean any girl should love me because I can like totally help them with their fashion and like getting their hair as good as mine. I mean just because I'm not sparkly and pale like those gorgeous Cullen men, no it doesn't mean anything Ok. Just because Carlisle, Dr. DILF, is not the least bit interested and is married to his wife of like 200 years doesn't mean I gave up on doctors or old people. I mean if it works for Bella I'm sure it can work for me. I have a feeling Dr. Pazzo is going to be crazy for me, no pun intended.

"Jacob, it's your turn, enter my office please;" He called from his office.
(What he heard)
"Babe, enter to come and find me in my chamber of love," he said seductively.
Ha! See I told them that he wanted me. Alright, if he wants it like that then I'll give it to him like that. I strutted in whipping my hair back and forth and sat there in his lap in that bright red chair showering him in my luscious locks.
"Get off of me! What are you doing!" he yelled at me pushing off his lap.
" Oh baby, I know you want me you don't have to hide it any more, your secrets are safe with me," I told him putting a finger to his lip to stop him from talking.
"Jacob, I am not a homo sexual get it through your hair covered head! I am not discriminating against gays but this is not appropriate and I cannot take any more of your advances. Please for the love of all that's holy leave me alone or I will transfer you to another therapist! I'm sure I can find at least one that can suit your...needs!"My lover yelled Hmm...That's why he keeps that chair around. OMG he's playing hard to get! I'm sure he's just saying that because he hasn't come out of the closet yet. I mean we all know he's totally lying about having a "wife". Like it's either he's gay, which I hope, or he's lying, which is also a good outcome. Its fine I'll just be extra good untill he warms up to me. This loosely translates into telling him about my "emotional problems". Good thing he's not a homophobic like my last doctor or totally not open to experimenting like Dr. DILF Whatever I guess I'll just have to pull out the big guns on this one.

"Lov...I mean Dr. Pazzo, can I just go out for one quick moment to get something important," I said politely while crossing my legs sitting patiently for his response.

"Sure Jacob, just make it quick so we can get back to our session... by the way I charge by the hour," he said annoyed.

"No worries Doc I'll be back before you can say werewolf," I said swiftly while moving it out the door to my car.

Good thing I always keep my guitar in the trunk. I can wait to give him the biggest performance of his life, then he'll love me for sure. I guess I'll just have to change the song a little to fit the situation. Good I made it back in record time. I made my way to Dr. P and sat on his desk with my guitar and started to sing:

(I kind of changed the song a bit)

You're on the phone with your wife, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesn't get your homo like I do
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday session

I'm the kind of boys she doesn't like
And she'll never know your gay like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's a therapist and I'm a werewolf
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Just then Emmett walked in looked around the room taking everything in and then started laughing so hard he fell over. Then he got up and said "I'm sorry I'll just leave... you... two... alone," he said with a laugh in between each word. Somehow I knew Alice had something to do with it.

Coming to your office with you in your red chair
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the white sofa thinkin to myself
Hey isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's a woman and I'm a guy
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me
You belong with me

"Alright, well Jacob that was really beautiful except the werewolf part, I don't understand that, regardless I do think though that you really have to understand I do not want a relationship with you. First of all it's not legal and second of all I am not at all interested," he stated simply.

"Doc, I understand completely," I replied, "I know you're really trying to say that I should wait till I'm of age and then our love can flourish, that's fine just remember I'll always be waiting in the wings once you leave your wife so I can take her spot, now back to the session."

He smacked his face in exasperation and sighed.

"Alright, so what are you here for again?" he asked exhaustedly.

"I think I was sent here for my emotional problems but clearly I don't have issues with that," I stated

"Sure you don't," he said while starting his lesson on dealing with emotions and counting to 10 when being angry.

Well that went well know all I have to do is come to a couple more session and I'll have him hooked. Did I mention my punishment is to make people annoy me and then try to count to ten to calm myself.

I hope you liked it! Sorry I didn't update sooner. Review or I'll send Jacob to sing for you. Stay tuned for Rose's session