Author's Note: Welcome back! Thanks for being patient waiting for this chapter. Work's been crazier than usual the last three weeks, and it's been tough putting my usual time into writing. And even though I'm not using their music for this chapter, I do so love the way The Killers write their songs, not compromising themselves for the sake of mass appeal but instead staying true to their original visions. Same for Garbage, whose music I did use for this chapter. I could probably find a song for every chapter from just those two bands if I tried.
If you've forgotten the special dream in which Miley and Lilly foresaw being on Oprah to introduce Hannah and Lola's new baby Megan Montana, you can go back and relive that dream in Chapter 13 of "This Is Our Life." If you're ready to hit the story running, then by all means, read on! The birth of Brooke Destiny Truscott marks the end of the second part of this story, so now we're entering the third and final part with this chapter. I'd guess we're looking at another six to eight chapters including this one, but that could always change. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Here are my standard disclaimers: I make no claims on any of Disney's, Miley Cyrus', Emily Osment's or Hannah Montana's trademarks or copyrights, and no infringement is intended on them or those of any other artist or publication mentioned. Be forewarned that this story most certainly will contain femslash. If love and affection between two consenting young adults of the same sex bothers you, I suggest you turn right around and find something else to read. Keep any flames to yourself and remember that what our world needs now is more love and acceptance, not more hate. Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated!
We Got Nerve
by Jo K.
Chapter 20: In Her Nature
Seek to destroy 'cause they're scared of you
That's why they try to make a fool of you
So jealous of my pretty star
'Cause you've got soul inside your shattered heart
-Garbage, "Right Between the Eyes"
As the pearl Tesla Sedan turned into the driveway, Lilly Truscott peeked into her rear-view mirror, grinning madly as she saw the purple, pink and silver infant carseat resting in the middle of the car's back seat. Its occupant was quietly sleeping, and if she had any recognition that she was at her home, she kept it to herself for the moment.
"You know, that's like the fortieth time you've checked on her," said Miley Truscott with a knowing smile on her own face.
Lilly turned to Miley and smiled even more widely, showing off her teeth as she beamed. "I know, and I still can't believe it!" she said brightly. She took Miley's hand as she shifted their car into Park, smiling at her wife of the last seven years as she said, "Miley, thank you again for giving me this amazing, wonderful, beautiful little girl."
As Lilly and Miley leaned in and kissed tenderly, Miley reached behind Lilly's head and pulled her best friend against her mouth tightly. She breathed in every bit of Lilly she could, savoring the taste of her lips and tongue and the smell of her skin and hair. "You're welcome," she replied softly, her voice deep and sweet like clover honey. "And I need to thank you, Lilly Bear, not just for gettin' me pregnant, but for puttin' up with my hormonal ass for the last ten months."
Lilly closed her eyes and leaned her head in closer, kissing Miley's neck gently. "Hormonal or not, your ass is awfully cute," she teased her wife, grinning against Miley's neck when she felt a playful pinch on her own behind.
"Yeah, right," Miley said self-deprecatingly, looking away. "I need to call that personal trainer and have him start coming over next week if he can. He wasn't supposed to come over until three weeks from now, but maybe he can—" Lilly's fingers on her jaw made Miley abruptly stop speaking; the gentle pull on her chin led Miley to slowly turn her face to look at Lilly, whose eyes were full of concern.
"What's going on, Miles?" Lilly carefully asked. "Did I upset you by saying that about your butt? Because I wasn't teasing or being sarcastic, honey, I really do love your butt." Mentally, Lilly kicked herself. Miley's hormones were already flipped out while she was pregnant. Of course they're going to be even more crazy right after she's delivered our baby. Heck, I already knew she was worried about getting her pre-pregnancy body back; the last thing I need to do is make her more self-conscious about things. Way to go, Lilly.
"Hey," Miley said as she turned back to look into Lilly's face, still smiling but a bit lackluster at the moment as the normally bubbly blonde continued to mentally chastise herself for not thinking before she spoke. "Honey, you didn't do or say anything wrong," Miley said lovingly. "I'm just really self-conscious right now when it comes to my body. I mean, I gained twenty-one pounds over the last ten months, then I lost about half of that in one day. I think my body's still in shock!"
"Miley, you still look incredibly beautiful to me," Lilly said, wrapping her arms around her best friend. "And you always will, I promise. But I know that you want to look your best, both for me and for your career, and I'm gonna do anything I have to do to help you with that. Even though I'm gonna love you forever, sweetheart, I want you to feel good about yourself, too."
Miley smiled as she let herself relax in Lilly's arms. "Well, gettin' Gwen Stefani's personal trainer is gonna go a long way when it comes to that. Just hope he can start a couple weeks early. He doesn't come cheap, but Gwen swears by him."
"You better be taking it easy for a few days, woman," Lilly said firmly. "Walking around the house is okay, but no exertion. We're not taking any chances with you, Miles, especially after the way you bled in the hospital." When Miley didn't immediately reply, Lilly need stronger measures were needed. "Promise me, Miley, that you won't overdo it? Please?"
Miley glanced at the astonishingly cute blonde hugging her. Lilly was right, of course, and Miley did understand the need to take her recovery slow, at least for the first few days. Patience wasn't her strong point—well, not for either of them, for that matter—but Miley knew she could do it. For Lilly and for their child, Miley could do anything. She smiled at Lilly and ran her fingers lightly through Lilly's soft golden curls. "I promise to not overdo it, Lilly Bear," she said sweetly. "Now let's get inside. It's time for baby Brooke to see her home."
Lilly insisted on unlatching the car seat from its base and carrying in the detachable baby carrier. The fabric was a lovely shade of purple shot through with streaks and strings of pink, covered with a mixture of Hannah Montana's butterflies, guitars and stars and Lola Montana's lightning bolts, surfboards and hearts. It was one of the first pieces in their Baby Montana line of baby gear, with more items to be hitting stores over the next six months. It had taken some persuasion last year on Lilly's part to get Miley to agree to licensing baby items, but Lilly had always proved to be extremely good at persuading Miley. In fact, Miley had already been willing to sign off on the Baby Montana items, but her curiosity as to how far Lilly would go to persuade her had led to a very energetic night of lovemaking that both young women had enjoyed immensely.
As Miley stretched her back, she watched Lilly carefully lift the carrier out of the back of their family car. She was pleased that they had stood firm on their desire to use 100% recycled material in the plastic of the baby carrier and car seat base; it had added significantly more development time, but Miley and Lilly were both pleased that their products were helping the environment rather than harming it.
"What are you thinking about, Miles?" asked Lilly as she shifted the carrier's handle to her left hand so she could hold Miley's hand with her right.
"Just about how good this feels," Miley answered as she stopped and hugged Lilly with her free right arm. "You know, bringin' our baby home." Judging from the two rental vehicles already waiting in their driveway, Miley knew that some of her family had already gotten here; she just wasn't sure who or how many awaited them inside.
As Miley opened the door, several voices joined together to shout, "WELCOME HOME!"
Miley and Lilly looked around, taking in Lilly's parents Meredith and Phil, Aunt Dolly, Mamaw Ruthie, and one other person whose presence made Miley winsome and proud all at once. "Daddy!" shouted Miley, opening her arms and hustling across the floor to throw herself into her father's arms. He hadn't made it out to California until early in the morning, so this was the first time for him to see his newest grandchild.
"Hey bud," said Robbie Ray as he hugged his daughter firmly. "Like what you two've done with the place," he said, giving Lilly a smile as he extended an arm for her too. Without a word but with a big smile Lilly crossed the room and hugged her father-in-law with one arm.
"Here, we've got a little girl who wants her other grandpa to hold her, since you didn't get to do it at the hospital," Lilly said as she placed the carrier down on the sofa. She quickly unbuckled the straps and gently lifted Brooke and her pale green blanket out of her cushioned seat, being careful not to wake her. "Miley fed her right before we left, so she'll probably sleep a little while longer." Lilly placed her daughter in Robbie Ray's arms, noting that he apparently still remembered how to hold a baby. Brooke continued to snooze away as she turned her head to face her other grandfather, putting a smile on Robbie Ray's face quite easily.
"Jackson and Kaela said they were sorry that they couldn't make it this time, but Kaela's studyin' for some big test of hers," said Robbie Ray with a hushed voice.
"And Luanne's all tied up with her work and takin' care of the house, since Ron's in Nashville another few days," added Dolly. "But they both said that they were happy for you two and that they'd try to get out here as soon as they could."
"Peyton and Melody were fit to be tied when their parents told 'em that they couldn't make it out this time," said Ruthie. "I had a word or two with their father, but I can see him not wantin' them to miss too much school this close to the end of the year." She put her arm around her son as she peeked at her newest great-granddaughter, resting snugly in his arms.
"We'll get them out here during the summer," Lilly said confidently. "Not like we're going anywhere, after all," she added with a smile.
"Hey, let's go make sure everything in the nursery is ready," said Miley suddenly as she took Lilly's hand. "I wanna try feedin' her in there when she wakes up!" Without waiting for a reply, Miley took off for the stairs, not exactly running but moving faster than she had since giving birth. Lilly felt herself being tugged along, just managing to keep her footing as Miley raced up the stairs.
"Ow," said Miley softly as she reached the top of the stairs as a faint shock of pain rippled through her pelvis. She gingerly rested a hand on her lower abdomen, drawing Lilly's interest.
"Miley..."
"I'm not overdoin' it, Lilly, I promise!" said Miley quickly. "I just moved a little too fast back there." She gave Lilly a loving smile that conveyed both the honesty in her statement and her gratitude for Lilly's concern. "C'mon," she said, "let's take a look at the nursery."
As they stepped into the nursery, Miley flipped the light switch, adding to the sunlight shining softly through the gauzy white drapes. She walked around the room, humming to herself as she inspected every piece of furniture and ran her fingers across all the exposed surfaces, smiling happily when no dust was to be found.
"Are you conducting an inspection, Miles?" Lilly asked, more than a bit amused by her wife's antics.
Miley stopped and looked over her shoulder, flashing Lilly a smile that sent a tingle up the small of her back. "Maybe I am," Miley said with a teasing quality to her voice.
Lilly turned to look at the decorations on the walls, trying to get her mind off how sexy Miley's voice had sounded. It was going to be several weeks before Miley's body would be fully healed, and the last thing Lilly wanted was to make her best friend feel pressured when it came to making love. Yes, Miley had told Lilly that there were other things they could do until she was fully healed, but Lilly truly didn't want to rush Miley into doing anything before her body and her mind were ready. And so she found herself looking at the Hannah Montana posters placed along the walls of the nursery. While there were two Lola Montana posters also hanging, Lilly found her gaze skipping over them as her eyes danced from one lovely picture of her wife's alter ego to another.
"My gosh," she whispered as she took in one of Hannah's first posters. Miley had just turned fourteen, and her youth was evident in how thin her face and arms were. Her mouth was also slightly different, more prominent because the rest of her face hadn't filled out yet, but surprisingly Lilly still found her heart racing at how breathtakingly beautiful Miley had been, even back then. I shouldn't be surprised, really. I mean, when we were this age I had already been in love with her for some time, even though I had just admitted it to myself a few months before this poster came out.
"You say somethin', hon?"
Lilly swallowed. Did I say that out loud? She turned, starting to say that she was just clearing her throat, but she froze when she saw how close Miley was to her. In fact, Miley was less than a foot away, and while Lilly fought to speak, those remaining inches shrunk until Miley had her arms around Lilly, gazing into her bright blue eyes with a heated look that did all sorts of lovely things deep inside Lilly. Lilly knew her pupils had to be huge by the way Miley was smirking at her, so she just closed her mouth and smiled in reply.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" asked Miley. By the look on her face, she most likely had a good idea of what was going through Lilly's mind, and the way her long fingers gripped Lilly's butt through her shorts only solidified that theory.
Lilly swallowed, noting how dry her mouth suddenly was. "Um, I was just, uh, thinking about..." Lilly shook her head. There was no point trying to fib to Miley; she'd catch the untruth before the words ever left Lilly's lips. "I was... thinking about how gorgeous you were, even at fourteen," Lilly admitted, gesturing to the poster she had been staring at. "I mean, you were already hot with a capital H." She paused and then added, "Hope that doesn't sound too creepy, I mean, me lusting after a poster of you at fourteen!" smiling weakly at she spoke.
Miley threw her head back and laughed her throaty, sexy laugh that always sent tingles of excitement up Lilly's spine, particularly when they were close enough for Lilly to see the subtle movements of her throat beneath the skin as she laughed. "Not too creepy," Miley teased. "After all, you were fourteen then, too." Miley brushed Lilly's hair away from her face, tucking most of it behind her left ear. "So did I... turn you on back then?" she asked slyly as she stared deeply into Lilly's eyes, a glowing shade of turquoise in the morning light, while she slowly and lightly ran the fingertips of her left hand up and down Lilly's strong back.
Lilly nodded her head. "Yeah, you sure did," she said simply. "Even if I was too chicken to tell you until later." She felt herself blushing, and she couldn't help but smile as she admitted the feelings she had battled internally for so many months, even years, back then. And the fact that they were looking at this particular poster made it even more poignant.
"So you like it?" asked Miley as she examined the newest Hannah Montana poster where it hung over Lilly's bed. As in, literally over Lilly's bed. Lilly had gotten a stepladder and her father to help her tack the poster onto the ceiling, ensuring that Miley's face would be the last thing she would see before she fell asleep and the first thing she saw upon waking. Of course, Lilly would have preferred the poster to be one of Miley dressed as herself, but having a picture of her best friend blown up to poster size and then hung over her bed might have been a bit too obvious.
"I love it," answered Lilly truthfully as she fell onto her bed, lacing her fingers together behind her head as she reclined, staring up at the girl she was hopelessly—if secretly—in love with. "The way that shirt falls across your chest is really sexy," she said before she even realized what was coming out of her mouth. "And, uh, the jeans go with it perfectly!" she added, hoping she had covered up her tiny Freudian slip.
"Well, that particular poster now hangin' over your bed is the very first one ever made," said Miley proudly as she climbed onto Lilly's bed, knees first and then shifting to lie down beside her own secret crush. No, crush wasn't the right word, because Miley was sure that her feelings for Lilly were much more than a crush; they had grown out of the love and friendship the two girls had shared for years now, becoming something more powerful and more lasting than a fleeting infatuation. Her tangential attractions to various boys had slowly dwindled away over the last few months, being increasingly replaced by her deepening feelings for her best friend. Lilly was her one true love, and Miley had just recently mustered up the courage to admit that truth to herself. Maybe one day she'd be able to confess how she felt to Lilly, and maybe, just maybe, they'd get their chance to live happily ever after.
"The first copy ever of that poster?" asked Lilly after considering Miley's words and what they meant, her head swiveling to stare at Miley with bright blue eyes.
Miley couldn't help but laugh at Lilly's open-mouthed smile, indicating just how thrilled her best friend was at Miley's actions dating back several months. As Hannah she had asked in advance to be there at the first printing of this particular poster, and she had requested that she be given the first one that came off the line. Miley was sure that most of the people at the printing plant expected the young superstar to keep that poster as a keepsake, but Miley had plans for it that meant much more to her than any keepsake or memento ever could. She turned to face Lilly. "Yeah, the first one ever. I wanted you to have it, Lilly." How much more should she reveal? Had she already revealed too much?
"You know, most people would keep something like that for themselves," said Lilly pointedly. A hint of curiosity was buried beneath the question itself, obvious to her best friend.
"Yeah, well, I was thinking of someone more important to me than myself," Miley said carefully, watching Lilly's eyes for any sign of reciprocation of the romantic feelings she kept carefully buried when she was alone with Lilly. But when Lilly suddenly slid across her bed and hugged Miley tightly, Miley felt her arms return the warm embrace reflexively, before her mind could decide if that was crossing the blurry line between close friendship and open love. But as she closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the scent of Lilly's vanilla-coconut shampoo and the warm strength of her wiry arms, Miley decided that at that moment she didn't care what lines they crossed.
"I still can't believe you kept this poster all that time," Miley said, shaking her head slowly. "And I really don't know how you kept it from gettin' ripped or marked on or somethin' like that."
Lilly glanced sideways at her wife. "Another benefit of it being on the ceiling," she said sagely. "Much harder to trash it up there."
Miley nodded silently as she and Lilly gazed at the poster. Hannah's autograph was still readily visible in the lower left corner, silver permanent ink on a dark brown background: To my #1 Fan, Lilly Truscott! Love you, Hannah Montana. Lilly carefully reached out to lightly touch the slick ink with her fingertips, smiling as she felt its familiar texture. She didn't see Miley stare at her with undisguised desire for long seconds, so it came as a surprise to her when Miley abruptly said, "Let's go to the bedroom, honey."
Lilly spun, not quite sure her ears had heard Miley correctly. "What did you say, Miles?"
Miley grinned. "I said, let's go to the bedroom. What did you think I said?"
"You have to take it easy, Miles," said Lilly, hesitant to do anything that could hurt her wife. However, she stopped speaking when Miley stepped closer and slid her right hand down the front of Lilly's shorts, fingers neatly diving between the soft fabric of Lilly's panties and her hot skin. Lilly's eyes snapped closed as her head tilted back slightly; she sighed so softly that Miley could feel it as much as hear it.
"Ready to go to the bedroom?" asked Miley, her low voice making Lilly quiver nearly as much as her finger's actions.
"Uh huh," whispered Lilly as she carefully unwrapped her arms from where she had placed them around Miley's shoulders moments ago. "Don't take your finger out of me," she whispered as she turned, pulling Miley's arm around her side as they began to sneak down the hallway to their bedroom. It was difficult to walk when all her attention was focused between her legs rather than in front of them, but together they managed to make it to their bedroom without incident.
As Miley closed the door behind them, she slid her finger out of Lilly and her hand out of Lilly's shorts as she gave her best friend a playful push forward in the direction of their bed.
"Uh!" grunted Lilly as she spun to give Miley a frustrated look. "Why'd you go and do that for?" she asked with a huffy voice, placing her hands on her hips to complete her only half-joking look of indignation.
Miley locked the bedroom door as she turned around and leaned back against the door. She slowly brought her right hand to her mouth, taking her time as she slid her slick middle finger between her pursed lips and into her mouth. Miley could tell by the look on Lilly's face that her best friend was about to explode with pent-up desire, so she cut her teasing foreplay short. "Strip," she said, pointing at the bed with her free hand.
Lilly had her clothes off in the same amount of time it took Miley to close the short distance from the door to their king-sized bed, somewhere between two and three seconds. She stretched her naked body out atop their soft pink comforter, making sure that Miley got a very good look at all of her. Two can play the foreplay game, she thought happily as she felt her heart speed up in time with Miley's.
As Miley watched Lilly show off her toned, athletic figure, it was all she could do to not pounce on top of her wife and take her without restraint. And there might be time for that later tonight, she thought happily to herself, once everybody else and their sharp ears leave. Miley climbed onto their bed, straddling Lilly at her waist. Miley could feel her pelvis twinge with the position she was in, so she was careful to not stretch her legs any further. "Now, what was it Dr. Jensen said to us?" she asked as she leaned over Lilly, letting her long brown hair fall on each side of Lilly's head and shoulders. "Oh yeah," Miley murmured, "she said, 'No vagina sex for you, Miley, not for six weeks!'" Lilly giggled at Miley's quite good imitation of their obstetrician's voice, making Miley snicker as well.
"But," Miley continued as she began to softly kiss Lilly's left collarbone, "she didn't say anything about me making love to you, Lilly Bear. And I think that you've earned some really special lovemaking, with everything that you've done for me through this whole pregnancy."
Lilly felt herself start to tear up as she reached up to carefully run her fingers through Miley's cascading waves of chestnut brown hair. "I was happy to do anything for you, honey," she said. "Even when it was three in the morning and you decided you had to have a milkshake or some fresh raspberries or something like that."
Miley smiled broadly. "Even though you really didn't want to wake up, you always got out of bed, got dressed and drove me wherever I wanted, honey. And you didn't even complain too much."
"Well, I had to complain some, or you wouldn't have appreciated it as much."
Miley considered that for a moment before nodding. "You may be onto something there," she admitted. "But I really do appreciate everything you do for me, Lilly. And you have been the best wife that anyone's ever seen durin' this pregnancy, I swear."
Lilly smiled as she lifted her head enough to press her lips against Miley's soft pink ones. "Thank you," she said softly, rubbing the tip of her nose against Miley's. "I think we did pretty good for two first-time mothers, don't you?"
"Totally," Miley agreed with a nod. "And that brings us back to me making love to my amazing wife," she said with a sly grin as she briefly considered what tantalizing action she should begin with.
Not quite thirty minutes later, Miley and Lilly made their way downstairs. Miley was pulling her long hair back into a ponytail as she stepped off the stairs onto the ground floor, with Lilly just a step behind her. Lilly was sure that everyone in their house knew what the two of them had done, mainly because she just couldn't get her huge grin off her face. Oh, and there was the matter of Miley's shirt being on inside out. The tag poking straight out from her collar was a dead giveaway. Lilly just smirked more as she decided not to mention that little slip to her wife. Like Miley said, everyone knows anyway, she thought as she looked out the back door at the ocean. Oh yeah. This day kicks ass.
The next few days passed by in what seemed to be a blur to both new mothers. Their company left after two days, flying back to Tennessee so the new parents could spend some dedicated bonding time with their baby. After the first three nights of both of them getting up and moving to the nursery when Brooke woke up crying during the night, they mutually agreed to move Brooke's bassinet into their bedroom, positioning it just a few feet away from their bed. Lilly said she'd get another bassinet to match it later in the week so they could keep one in Brooke's nursery, which led Miley to agree to the change.
Lilly initially grumbled about how much more work she had to do than Miley in terms of feeding; when it came her turn to get up and feed their daughter, Lilly had to get out of bed, pick Brooke up and rock her while they went downstairs, heat up some of Miley's pumped breast milk, test the temperature on her wrist, feed Brooke while rocking her, burp her and clean up any resultant surprise, then finally carry the once-again snoozing infant back upstairs to her bed. But that changed after the first week.
Lilly solved her unfair distribution of work problem with one of her typically brilliant, if offbeat, ideas. The next time she woke up and took a hungry, grouchy Brooke out of her bassinet, she simply carried her daughter back over to the bed she and Miley shared. "Oooooh, you're a little fussbudget, aren't you?" she cooed happily to her daughter, who didn't seem very amused by her mother's baby voice. "Yes you are! Just like your momma the big fussbudget! Yes ooo are!" Lilly slid back into the warm spot in the bed that she had just vacated, placing Brooke between her and Miley. It didn't take much effort to get Miley to roll over without quite waking her up, and Lilly found it even easier to support Brooke's head and brush her baby lips against Miley's nipple to get Brooke to latch on and start nursing hungrily. She giggled at the grunting noises that their daughter made as she ate, covering her own mouth in an attempt to not wake Miley. Once Brooke was done with one breast, Lilly carefully dislodged her and then switched both of them to Miley's other side after rolling her wife back over. When Brooke was finished with Miley's other breast, Lilly burped her and then placed her back in her bassinet and slid back into bed beside Miley. As she lovingly stared at her wife's breasts, she quickly placed a soft, quick kiss of thanks on each of them before snuggling back up against her wife, nuzzling her nose against Miley's as she rejoined her wife and child in slumber.
The next morning Miley awoke first, stretching lazily as she sat up in the bed. She looked in the bassinet beside her bed, smiling as she saw Brooke sleeping peacefully. However, her nose wrinkled as she caught a whiff of what lay hidden in her daughter's diaper. "How can somethin' as cute as you make smells as nasty as that?" she asked to no one in particular. "C'mon, stinky britches," she said as she picked Brooke up and carried her down the hall into the nursery, placing her on the changing table. She made sure to fasten the safety strap across Brooke's body as she unsnapped the nightie, exposing the guilty diaper. She quickly changed Brooke, depositing the dirty diaper into the smell-containing diaper trash can they had bought several months ago. She washed Brooke's bottom with a warm baby wipe, prompting a fleeting smile from her daughter. It had been Lilly's idea to buy an automatic baby wipe warmer, pointing out to Miley how much both of them hated cold washcloths first thing in the morning, and that had turned out to be another good idea. Miley smiled and hummed softly as she lightly dusted Brooke's bottom with baby powder, sniffing in the fresh, clean scent as she began putting a new diaper on her daughter.
Miley's heart jumped slightly as she started tucking Brooke's tiny legs back into the nightie; that combined with the growing warmth in her chest told her that Brooke's other mother had joined the two of them. "Morning, lover," Miley said quietly as she reached up over her shoulder with her left hand, squeezing Lilly's fingers as they trailed across Miley's hand. A soft robe slid over Miley's shoulders, giving her relief from the slight chill in the air. After getting used to sleeping with Lilly, Miley always felt cold when she first got out of bed; Lilly's body heat was considerable even without any amorous activities, and Miley loved it. "Mmm, thanks for the robe. I was gettin' cold."
Lilly slid her arms around Miley's waist, tying the fluffy white robe loosely around Miley's long, more slender body. "Who would've thought," she said pleasantly as she stood on her tiptoes to peer over Miley's shoulder. "Aw, she looks so adorable," Lilly said proudly. "Just like you when you sleep," she added as she kissed Miley's cheek.
"She smiled while I was changing her diaper," said Miley proudly.
"And I missed it?" Lilly asked quickly. "Uh! No fair!"
"Look," whispered Miley, pointing down at Brooke where she lay on the changing table. As Lilly's gaze joined Miley's the two of them saw Brooke look at where her mothers stood together and then smile again, holding it for a few seconds before the expression shifted and was once again that of curious inquiry.
"She smiled at us," said Lilly. "Early for that, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but every baby is different, remember? Some smile earlier, some smile later. It might have just been gas or somethin'."
"Well, if it was, she'd have gotten it from you," teased Lilly as she unbuckled the safety strap and picked up their daughter.
"In your dreams, girlfriend," Miley replied quickly with a grin.
Not quite two weeks later Miley and Lilly made their first post-baby appearance as Hannah and Lola. Oprah Winfrey and her studio audience were captivated by the adorable baby as well as the beaming young mothers, and when the filming was over Miley and Lilly found themselves besieged by supportive fans and their families. Finally Brooke decided that enough was enough, and when a soft cry didn't get her mothers to make their retreat, filling her diaper did.
"Ugh," said Lilly as she changed her daughter's diaper backstage. "You could've picked a more pleasant way to tell your mommies it was time to go, little girl."
Miley smiled as she sat on the counter beside Brooke, gently stroking their daughter's wispy blonde hair. "Well, she did start fussin' at us," Miley said politely. "We just kinda ignored her."
"Well, I'd say she got us back," replied Lilly with a wry grin as she snapped the bottoms of the hidden onesie beneath Brooke's baby dress. She picked up the infant and handed her to Miley, then she covered their girl with her soft pink blanket as Miley shifted Brooke so she was lying against her chest and shoulder. The ringing of Miley's phone filled the room with the strains of Hannah's song "Fallen Angel," but the sleepy baby ignored the new noise easily. "I got it," Lilly said as she fished the phone out of Miley's left front pocket. "Lola speaking, Hannah's busy holding the baby, can I help you?" she said cheerily. She listened for a minute, then she glanced over at Miley with inquisitive eyes. "You feel like stopping by the record company today, Hannah? They said that you had a special visitor over there waiting to see you."
Miley thought for a moment, then she shrugged her shoulders softly, being careful to not wake Brooke. "Sure, I guess we could stop by there. I never get tired of showin' our daughter off," she added with a loving smile.
"Okay, we'll be by there in just a few," Lilly said. "Bye!" she said before she ended the call. She slipped the phone back into Miley's pants pocket, brushing her fingers over Miley's hip as she withdrew her hand. The two of them shared a knowing smile; Brooke had been sleeping in her own bed for several hours the last few nights, giving Miley and Lilly some precious time to carefully make love and intimately recharge each other's soul. Lilly was hoping that their moments of personal intimacy would continue, because she cherished every single one of them even more now.
It was evident by the look on Miley's face that she was sharing much the same feelings as Lilly. "Love you," she said quietly with a tender smile as they walked to the performers' entrance of Oprah's studio.
"Love you too, country girl," replied Lilly with a wink and grin as she looked beside her, her heart once again thrilling at the dreamy sight of Hannah Montana gazing at her with undisguised love and devotion.
"Cali girl," Miley tossed back, flashing Hannah's brilliant smile just for the woman she loved.
"Your Cali girl," said Lilly proudly as she slipped her right arm around Miley's waist, pulling her close until their hips rubbed against each other as they walked. "If that's too close, let me know, hon."
Miley gave her a soft look of disbelief. "Like either one of those is gonna happen," she replied sarcastically. After a moment she added, "You couldn't ever get too close to me, baby. Not possible. And there's no way I'd tell you if there was, because you touchin' me feels way too good to give up."
As they reached the limousine, a few paparazzi were eagerly waiting, and the cameras began to flash and whir even before Miley, Lilly and Brooke were close enough for good pictures. As the voices began to shout, Lilly held her hands up and out as she said in a firm voice, "Hey! Our daughter's asleep, so we'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't wake her up. If you behave, we'll let you take some close-up pictures of us, but no pushing, fighting or yelling, okay?" After a few seconds of murmured approval, Lilly said with a smile, "Good. Now get some pics of our little jellybean, because she's the cutest thing ever!"
The impromptu photo session lasted nearly ten minutes, with Miley and Lilly taking turns holding Brooke as well as each other. When they were finally underway with Brooke strapped snugly into her carseat in the back of the limousine, Miley leaned heavily against her wife. "Long day so far," she said. "I'd almost forgotten how draining it can be to do the whole Hannah-Lola thing."
Lilly smiled and shook her head slowly. "I hadn't," she said as she kissed the top of Miley's head. "But I still had a great time being with you and our baby. Listen, if you want to just skip stopping by DreamWorld, I can call them and—"
"No," said Miley, her voice quiet but firm. "I know they want to see little Megan," she said, tasting the new name as it rolled off her tongue and deciding once again that she liked it. "Plus I want to show off what a cute baby we make," she added with a cocky grin of a superstar.
Lilly leaned over and kissed her fingertips, then she lightly touched them to their daughter's tiny forehead. "We certainly do," she said proudly.
The drive to DreamWorld only took four minutes, since it was just down the road from Oprah's studio. Lilly was the first to walk into the DreamWorld office, smiling as she saw how busy Helena, the receptionist, was. "Hi Helena!" Lilly said cheerily. As the young blonde just slightly older than Lilly and Miley looked up, Lilly nearly laughed at how her expression went from frustration to delight in just seconds.
"Mrs. Mont—er, I mean, Lola! And Hannah!" she squealed as she shot to her feet. She gasped as Miley stepped closer. "Is that...?"
Miley nodded. "Yep. This here is Megan," she said proudly as she turned so Helena could examine the baby's features.
"Oh, she's adorable!" Helena said, toning her voice down now that she saw Brooke was asleep. "And her name's Megan?"
"Uh huh," said Lilly. "Megan Montana. Got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"
"I'll say," said Helena. With a gleam in her eye, she said, "As soon as we heard that you had gone into labor two weeks ago, we all volunteered some time to get your nursery ready."
"Nursery?" asked Miley. "I didn't have a nursery here." She turned to look at Lilly, who appeared equally puzzled. "Did I?"
"You didn't, but you do now." Helena moved to the entrance to the rest of the building, opening the door and motioning for Miley and Lilly to follow her. As they walked through the building, a few people spotted them. Inevitably each person would first happily greet Hannah and Lola and then be enthralled by the snoozing baby with them. By the time they reached Hannah's large office, the procession was nearly a dozen strong.
"Okay, you know that conference room beside your office?" asked Helena as she stopped at one door before Hannah's office.
"The one I never use?" asked Miley.
"Yes! Well, you can use it now!" Helena opened the door to reveal a most striking change to the formerly stuffy conference room. The formerly dark room had been redone in shades of white and soft pink, and a changing table and a playpen had been added to two corners of the room. A large rocking chair and a pink loveseat had replaced the leather conference chairs that had formerly been in the room, but as Miley and Lilly walked into the room they found their eyes drawn to what had replaced the medium-sized conference table.
"Is that a craps table?" asked Miley, utter surprise in her voice. "Like for gambling?"
"Well, yes and no," Helena said hastily. "Yes, it's a craps table, but it's not for gambling. My brother-in-law works for one of the casinos in Las Vegas, and they were getting ready to just throw this one out. They told him that if he'd haul it off, he could have it for free. I offered him fifty dollars for it, because I thought it would make a fabulous little play area for your baby!"
Miley turned to look at Lilly, and the look of uncertainty of her best friend's face reflected what Miley herself was feeling. "I don't know, Helena, I mean—"
"Look, it's all carpeted with really low-pile velvet which we had installed by an upholstery service, the walls are padded with brand new shock-absorbent foam and they're high enough that your little rugrat won't be able to climb out of it for several months. This new padding and the pink velvet is all hypoallergenic and so tough that she won't be able to chew through any of it. It's also padded lightly underneath the velvet, not so soft as to be dangerous but just enough to protect her little head when she starts rolling over. And did I mention that it's the most stunning shade of pink that we found for the velvet?"
Lilly looked closely at Helena while she was speaking, and the more the blonde talked the more Lilly realized that she had put quite a bit of time, effort and money into doing this. Lilly silently reached forward and lightly brushed her hand against Miley's arm, catching her wife's gaze before she made a show of stroking the soft pink velvet lining the large table. "It feels really soft, Hannah," Lilly said, lifting her head up to smile at Miley. "I think that Helena put a lot of time into converting this room into a nursery, and you've got to admit that nobody else'll have a playpen quite like this one," she added with a humorous smile.
"It wasn't just me," Helena quickly added. "Several of us put in some free time getting everything ready, and Ms. Kittrell paid for most of it."
Miley and Lilly looked at each other, sharing similar thoughts of pleasant surprise. Apparently Jen did have a maternal streak in her after all.
"We also redid the room so it now has a door that adjoins your office," added Helena, pointing to the door that Miley honestly hadn't even noticed until it had been pointed out. "That door locks from inside your office only, so you can't ever be locked out of here. The hall door still locks like always, we've just been leaving it open until you actually started using it. That made it easier for us to work on it during our breaks."
Lilly made a mental note to call Jen as soon as possible. I want everyone who volunteered their time to doing something as sweet as this to get paid for every minute they worked, no questions asked. It's the least we can do for people who care this much about us. I know Miley feels the same way.
"Thank you," Miley said, wiping at the moisture that was slowly forming in her eyes.
"Yes, thank you," Lilly added. "All of you really went above and beyond to get this done, especially since little Meg decided to come a couple of weeks early." As everyone laughed lightly, Miley handed Brooke to Lilly, smiling as she watched her best friend kiss their child on the forehead, getting a sleepy grunt and frown in response.
"Lola and I could never ask for a group of people as sweet as all of ya'll," Miley said, looking around the room. "We're really blessed to work with each and every one of you, really. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts."
As everyone clapped softly, Lilly leaned over and whispered in Miley's ear, "You said hearts."
Miley immediately understood what Lilly was saying, and she grinned because she hadn't forgotten anything or misspoke in any way. She turned and said softly in Lilly's ear, "Two hearts. One for our baby, and the one that we share. That's why I said hearts instead of heart, like I would have if I'd been talkin' about just you and me."
"Ah," said Lilly proudly. She smiled as she realized that Miley had indeed spoken correctly. "You're good," she said to her best friend, who winked in return.
"You know it, girlfriend," Miley said in reply. She turned to look at Helena. "So who's here wanting to see me?" Miley asked.
"Oh! I completely forgot!" said Helena quickly. "I notified Ms. Kittrell as well, but she was across town. She should be here before long, though." Helena hurried out the door into the hall, leading Miley and Lilly the short distance to Hannah's office. "I was asked to keep this visit a secret, so I asked her to wait inside your reception area until you informed of what you wanted to do." Taking a hint, the others who had gathered to see little Megan Montana quickly dispersed to give the Montanas some privacy.
"Okay..." said Miley slowly, trying to decide who warranted such an effort to keep things quiet. She opened the door to her private reception area, staring in shock at... "Mikayla?!"
Lilly instantly stepped into the room, closing the door behind them. She quickly handed Brooke to Miley, prompting Mikayla to jump to her feet.
"Whoa! Whoa!" Mikayla said abruptly, holding her hands out in front of her to forestall being attacked by an angry Lola Montana. "Believe it or not, I didn't come here to fight."
"Well, I don't believe it," said Lilly, right arm drawn back as she stepped between her family and her wife's nemesis. "In fact, I—" Lilly stopped as she realized that Mikayla wasn't the only person waiting on them. Sitting beside and slightly behind Mikayla was a small girl who appeared to be about four or five, dark hair and bright eyes both quite evident as she sat in apparent shock. "Well, who are you?" Lilly asked in a much more polite voice as she lowered her arms.
"You're..." gasped the little girl, pointing at Lilly. "You're..."
"I'm..." replied Lilly with a smile, matching the girl's stammering. "I'm Lola," she said with a smile, extending a hand to shake with the youngster. "And who are you?"
The young girl gingerly took Lilly's hand, shaking it seriously before she could find the words to speak. "I'm Esmerelda, but most people call me Esme 'cause it's shorter," she said with a quiet voice. "I asked Aunt Mikki if there was any way I could meet Hannah Montana, but I didn't know that I'd get to meet you too!"
"Wait a minute," said Miley as she stepped forward to get a better look at their other guest. She made a point to keep Lilly between Brooke and Mikayla, though. No point in taking chances. "She's your aunt?" Miley asked, not believing that any relative of Mikayla's could actually be polite.
"Uh huh!" said the little girl proudly. "My parents brought me out here for the week, so I could see Aunt Mikki." She looked down slowly as she added, "Well, they're not my real parents. My mommy died right after I was born. I don't remember her at all."
"Aww," said Miley, all too familiar with how it felt to lose a mother. "I lost my momma too, but I was older. I was nine." She shifted Brooke to hold her with one hand and extended her other hand to the little girl. "I'm Hannah," Miley said simply.
"You're really pretty in person," said Esme as she shook Miley's hand just as seriously as she had Lilly's.
"Why, thank you!" said Miley happily.
"OHMYGOSH!" Esme suddenly squealed. "Is that your baby?" She jumped to her feet, standing up in her chair as she peered at the now-stirring bundle in Miley's arms. "Oops!" she said, covering her mouth with her hands. "Sorry!"
Brooke started to fuss noisily, and the sound of her cries triggered a now-familiar sensation in Miley's breasts. "My milk just let down," she said as she turned to Lilly.
"Let's go into your office, honey," said Lilly. "I've got a blankie in the diaper bag so you can nurse her."
"Thanks, hon," Miley said, relief obvious on her face. "Didn't really want to soak this shirt." Miley was not a big fan of nursing bras, to say the least. She found them quite uncomfortable, and since the three of them had been spending most of their time at home, she hadn't really been in any situation where she couldn't drop everything and nurse Brooke. One of her concerns about today had been what to do if her milk let down while they were out in public, possibly causing her to leak through her sheer bra and onto her shirt. That would be extremely embarrassing to the young mother, because she knew a picture of that would circulate through myriad tabloids from now until the end of time.
As Lilly unlocked the door to Hannah's office, she moved aside to let Miley step in first and sit in her ultra-plush chair, then she followed her wife in. It only took a few seconds to retrieve a blanket from the diaper bag; as soon as she had the soft blanket in her grasp, Lilly tossed it to Miley, neatly landing it equally on Miley's chest and Brooke's back. "Ha!" she laughed once as Miley smiled and Brooke fussed even more at the strange object touching her. However, as soon as Miley got them covered with the blanket and lifted her shirt and bra to let Brooke start feeding, the fussy cries stopped, replaced with eager grunts and content sighs.
"She eats a lot," said Miley, smiling over at both Esme and Mikayla. Might as well be polite, she thought to herself, knowing that Lilly would get most of what she was thinking. Just because Mikayla's a bitch doesn't mean we should act the same way, especially to her little niece. She looked up at Lilly, who appeared to be in agreement, if only begrudgingly, as she looked back at Miley. "So why did you want to meet me while you were out here, Esme?" Miley asked pleasantly, focusing her attention on the little girl with the big smile on her face. Oh, she is just adorable. How ironic would it be if Mikayla's niece was actually one of my fans? She sure seemed to be a big fan of Lilly's, too.
"Well, I love your music!" Esme said eagerly. "And the clothes you two make are really cool!"
Lilly took a closer look at Esme, trying to see if this was some kind of joke, but all she could see was honest excitement on the little girl's part. "I think I might know why she wanted to come by and meet us, Hannah," Lilly said.
"Why's that, hon?"
Lilly flashed Lola's quirky smile at Esme as she said, "I think I know a little girl who wants some autographs!" Sure enough, Esme laughed and clapped her hands happily at Lilly's words. "You think we might be able to find some CDs or posters for Esme, sweetheart?"
Now Miley smiled as well. "I think we might be able to scrounge up some souvenirs for a fan," she replied confidently. She swiveled the chair slightly, moving close enough to her desk to pick up her phone. "Hey, Helena?" she said into the phone. "You think you could scare up some posters and CDs for Lola and me to autograph for little miss Esme?"
Sitting across the room, Mikayla was amazed at how friendly Hannah and Lola were being to Esmerelda. Despite all the mean, bitchy things Mikayla had done to them, they put all that aside to be nice to a five-year-old fan who wanted to meet them. God, they're so hopeless, she thought, being careful to keep the blank smile on her face. They deserve what they'll get.
After Helena brought in several posters of Hannah and Lola, four of Hannah's CDs—Miley removed the copy of her newest album, since it was made for an older audience—and three shirts, two Hannah Montana and one Lola Montana, Miley and Lilly happily signed each item for Esme. The girl was thrilled at just meeting two of her favorite stars, but having them give her several personally autographed souvenirs pushed her beyond ecstatic. By the time Esme and Mikayla walked out of Hannah's office, the five-year-old was literally jumping up and down in place, waving her Lola Montana t-shirt as she carried a small bag stuffed with other memorabilia, including a half dozen autographed posters poking up out of the bright yellow bag.
"She looks pretty happy," said Lilly to Mikayla as they watched Esme dance down the hall.
"Esme!" called Mikayla. "You wait at the reception area, okay? I'll be right there." As her niece waved her acknowledgment, Mikayla turned to regard Hannah and Lola. "I don't get you two at all," she said after studying them for a moment. "I mean, I pull all the shit that I've thrown at you, and you still go out of your way to be nice to my niece. How do you do that?"
Miley looked at Mikayla with a neutral gaze. "It's who we are," she finally said. "It's in our nature."
Mikayla considered Miley's words for a bit, then she looked up into her nemesis' glittering blue eyes. "Then your nature is entirely too trusting," she said, allowing an insidious smile to creep across her lips. "Hope you're gonna be ready to perform at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in three weeks, Hannah," she said, and now her smile was no longer blank but rather unsettling. "I put out a press release this morning challenging you to a hard rock rock-off at the concert after the induction ceremony there. You may sell more records than me for now, but let's see how you do with something outside of your precious comfort zone. If you've got the guts to even show up, that is." Mikayla went to poke Miley in the chest, but her hand was slapped away by Lilly before her finger could come close to Miley or Brooke.
"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" spit Lilly at the smirking brunette.
"So I've been told," replied Mikayla, her smug smile not wavering.
"Mikayla, I can outsing you on any day with any type of music you want," Miley said heatedly, shifting Brooke to her right arm to eliminate the chance of her dominant arm spontaneously knocking the smug grin off the other singer's face. "So if you really want me to embarrass you at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame concert singin' hard rock or heavy metal, I'll be happy to do just that."
"Good!" said Mikayla. Hannah had always had the upper hand whenever they had faced off in the past, but this time it was Mikayla dictating the timing, location, and type of music, and this time she'd come out on top. After all, Hannah had just delivered a baby two weeks ago, and she had taken several weeks off from touring or performing before that. She was going to be walking into this concert cold, out of sync, out of shape, singing to a completely different style of music... and without her regular band.
Margot had done some checking over the last two months, and no less than five of Hannah's band members were going to be gone on vacation at the time of the upcoming concert, three of them out of the country. It was a gamble that the blonde superstar wouldn't call them back from their vacations to play at this concert, but Mikayla was extremely confident that Hannah wouldn't ruin her musicians' private time with their families just for a personal challenge between the two of them. She was just too kind-hearted, and that would prove to be her undoing this time. Breaking in a new band took weeks, if not months, and time was not on Hannah Montana's side this time.
Then there was the other trap that Mikayla had planned for Hannah, but now wasn't the time or place to wave that dare in her face. Mikayla wanted Hannah to stew on the upcoming concert for a few days before dangling another challenge in her face, particularly one that very obviously played to Hannah's weaknesses. Just thinking about what awaited her enemy made Mikayla feel deliriously happy inside. First she'd hurt Hannah's reputation, then she'd hurt her.
Mikayla continued to smile as she asked with an overly sweet voice, "So should I tell the press that you've bravely taken me up on my challenge, or should I wait a few days in case you decide to chicken out?" By the way the fire flared up in both Hannah's and Lola's eyes, Mikayla knew she had used precisely the right words.
"Hannah won't be backing out!" said Lilly angrily. "You'd be the one to back out, if you had any sense! Or do you just get off on having my wife make you look like an idiot? Oh, not that you'd need any help; you do a good job of looking like an idiot all by yourself!"
Mikayla's smile snapped into a grim frown as she leaned forward. "At least I know not to dye my damn hair twice a week," she shot back. "It's a wonder you've got any fucking brain cells left under that mess you've got on your head."
"Lola," said Miley firmly, knowing very clearly that her wife was a second away from beating Mikayla within an inch of her life. "Her niece is out there, and it'd scare her to see an ambulance come to get her aunt."
"We could have them pull around the back," said Lilly, not backing off at all.
Miley turned to Lilly. "Here," she said as she handed Brooke to Lilly. "Hold your daughter." Lilly gave Miley a disgruntled look, but she took Brooke without any complaint. In fact, as soon as she lifted the baby to her chest, she felt her anger start to dissipate. You sneaky woman, Lilly thought as she looked pointedly at her wife, you knew that holding our child would settle me down, didn't you?
Miley smiled back at Lilly as she felt the searing heat of Lilly's anger deep in her own chest start to fade. "Love you, Lola," she said before she kissed her wife on her cheek, placing another kiss on their daughter's cheek as well.
"Love you too, Hannah," Lilly replied, amazed that she could be smiling just seconds after being ready to give Mikayla the beating of her life. "And thank you," she added, knowing that Miley would understand what she was thanking her for.
"You're welcome," Miley answered, then she turned to once again look at Mikayla. "I think you can find you way out, Mikayla," she said, her hands on her hips and her tone of voice clearly indicating dismissal.
Without another word, Mikayla turned and strode down the hall. "Aren't you even going to thank us? For taking the time to meet Esme?" asked Miley incredulously as Mikayla walked away.
The other singer stopped and turned around. She stared directly into Miley's eyes as she said with an icy voice, "No." She then turned back around and continued walking away.
As Mikayla collected Esme and left the DreamWorld office, Miley and Lilly just stood and looked at each other for several seconds. The chiming of the door drew their attention, but instead of seeing Mikayla's arrogance returning they saw the uncharacteristically surprised face of Jen Kittrell. "Was that fucking Mikayla that I just passed walking out of here?" Jen loudly asked.
"Yeah," said Miley, her voice slightly subdued. "She brought her niece over because she's a fan of ours and wanted to meet us."
"She was a cute kid," Lilly added. "Five years old, and every bit as sweet as Mikayla is bitchy. We signed some posters and CDs for her, and Mikayla repaid us by challenging Hannah to another sing-off. Now she thinks she can rock harder than my woman here."
"Well, she's a dumb slut," said Jen coldly. "But at least she's consistent. Someone was telling me the other day that she got caught screwing some guy in the bathroom at a nightclub last week."
"Wonder how much it cost Dyseni to keep that one quiet?" Lilly asked out loud. "But I guess she's selling records, or they wouldn't be putting up with it."
The three of them were quiet for few seconds before Miley said, "One day she'll look back at the mess she made of her life, and it's gonna kill her when she realizes it."
Jen turned to look at Miley with a quixotic look on her face, one that Miley had never seen before. "You remember the old fairy tale about the frog and the scorpion?"
"Fairy tale?" asked Lilly, smiling.
"Fairy tale, parable, story, folk tale, whatever the fuck you want to call it," Jen said, cutting her hand through the air as she spoke. "Anyway, there was this frog sitting on his ass on the bank of a pond, when this big scorpion comes up to him. The frog's just about to jump into the pond and get away before the scorpion stings him, but before he does the scorpion says, 'Hey, wait a minute'."
"Is that what the scorpion really said?" asked Miley, drawing a sharp look from her manager. Miley had to cover her face to hide her smile and stifle a laugh, but she managed to do so. Barely.
"Yes, that's what the goddamn scorpion really fucking said," said Jen, glaring at Miley. "To get back to my story, the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across the pond on his back, because he can't swim and it's too long a walk to go around. Well, the frog's not stupid, and he tells the scorpion that he doesn't want to do it because he thinks the scorpion's gonna shove that stinger right in his ass and kill him. But the scorpion looks at the frog and says, 'Well, I can't swim. So if I sting you while you're carrying me across the pond, it'd kill me too.' The frog thinks about it and finally says, 'Okay, but you have to let me get in the water first, so I can get back if you try to sting me right fucking here.' The scorpion tells the frog that that's cool, and before long they're off."
Jen looked back and forth between Lilly and Miley once, then she continued. "So they're going across the pond, right past halfway across, when all of a sudden the fucking scorpion just stings the frog, BOOM!" Jen smacked her hand for emphasis, making Miley and Lilly both jump. "The frog feels his whole body going numb from the venom, and they start to sink. He looks over his shoulder at the scorpion and says, 'Why the fuck did you do that, scorpion? You've killed both of us, you asshole!' Right before they both slip under the water and drown, the scorpion says to the frog, 'Because I'm a scorpion. That's what I fucking do.' "
Jen looked at her clients and friends, both of whom were utterly still. "Give me the details of when and where that bitch wants you to blow her ass off the stage, and I'll make the arrangements. But I want you both to remember this—Mikayla's a fucking scorpion."
A slight smile appeared on Miley's face. "Then we'd just better make sure that we don't look like frogs. Right?"
Jen returned Miley's smile. "See? You can listen to people besides your wife." She patted Lilly on the shoulder and stepped past them on the way to her office. "Your kid's really fucking cute, too," she called out over her shoulder. "Looks like both of you, if you ask me."
As Jen walked down the hallway, she called out over her shoulder, "If you ever need me to babysit, just let me know. Kid's got to start expanding her vocabulary sometime."
"You're going to need a bigger swear jar!" Lilly yelled down the hall, leaning so she wouldn't be yelling in Brooke's ears. She turned back to Miley and said, "So you're taking her up on her challenge, right?"
Miley nodded. "Well, yeah. But this could be tough. I mean, most of my band is gone on vacation." She stopped and looked into Lilly's eyes as her face lit up. "But I might just have an idea about that..."
"You know, I used to cringe in fear whenever that expression came over your face," Lilly said.
"And now?" asked Miley curiously.
"Now?" replied Lilly with a smile. "Now I just think it's sexy."
Author's Afterword: Whoo! That was a fun chapter to write, although the fact that all four of my daughters currently have the flu made it tough to find time to work these last few days. Hope you enjoyed it; I know that I personally loved Jen's retelling of the old fairy tale. I think everyone will be quite pleased (and probably surprised) with Miley's idea. And what might that other plan of Mikayla's be? You'll see soon enough, I promise. Thanks for reading, and I hope all of you that are sick recover fast and that all of you who aren't sick stay that way! See you soon!
Jo