The Analyst
Author: LVB
Summary: Leia Organa is a complicated woman. Shortfic. One-shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own SW or anything related. All rights reserved for LucasFilm. Title belongs to a song by Delta Goodrem.
She was the analyst. She always had been. Somehow she felt it had been in her blood all along; ever since she was a curious child. She remembered lying awake in bed many a time in her youth. She could distinctly recall the way her mind would race while it considered all the problems she had encountered that day.
True, as a child she hadn't had many problems growing up in House Organa. She was an Alderaanian princess. Yet, night after night she would lie in her bed and simply think. One thought would characteristically merge into another and then another after that.
She would often pretend to be asleep when her father would check on her in the middle of the night – and he did that often. She was unsure why though – because who couldn't feel safe in the palace of Alderaan?
One event changed that however. It had cemented her journey into adulthood. It had catapulted her into a world of harsh reality, a world in which death and suffering was not even beyond princesses of broken planets. Yes – Leia Organa grew up on the Death Star. She found herself to be no longer the innocent and curious child that lay awake in her bed. She was a woman now. She was a woman who still lay awake in her bed. Her soft whimpers were never heard as she lay awake in a frightened state.
No longer did the questions burn at her mind – no. It was the ultimate fear that threatened to destroy that lingering thread of her childish innocence. She lay awake in terror, night after night. It consumed her; tore at her sanity night after night. Behind her closed eyes, she was forever condemned to watch her planet die.
It continued long after she had been released.
But as Leia Organa fought on and survived, some of that innocent childish wonder returned to her. And once again, she began to analyse. She became the analyst.
She analysed battle plans.
She analysed strategies.
She analysed the success of the Rebellion.
And yet amongst all her duties and the night terrors that still plagued her, she found the time to analyse her life.
She unlocked a part of her mind she thought long dead. She found images, feelings locked away tightly in her mind. Instead of the black mask, she found herself falling asleep to an image of a sweet voice and chocolate brown curls.
She found images of a man that walked in her mind – scruffy looking, yes. But the further she analysed she recognised the glowing aura of kindness and compassion that was well hidden to the naked eye. She found her heart beginning to beat harder and harder.
In fact, the more she analysed the more she found herself not caring about the answers.
And for the first time since Alderaan was destroyed; she felt at peace.