Chapter Seven

Several minutes passed and she was still the same tangle of limbs cradling him. She kept obsessively checking and re checking his pulse and breathing. Both were strong and regular.

Rose was scared. She couldn't remember being this scared when she had been with the Doctor. What the hell was happening to her John? The doctor's didn't seem to know and THAT had been no absence seizure. He'd been staring at something in terror, horror even. He had been fully aware of what he was seeing and it had caused his current state of collapse. Whatever he had seen his brain had gone in to damage limitation mode and made him pass out.

As she brushed the hair from his closed eyes her mind turned to what she had heard that had woken her. She couldn't remember properly but he had been shouting and he had definitely said "The TARDIS" and he had screamed "No" three times as he'd woken up. Was it just a dream? But he had been very awake when he had stood in the kitchen and then dropped to the floor. He hadn't thrashed about at all so it couldn't be described as a traditional seizure and she was sure it wasn't anything to do with an absence.

A low moan brought her back to the present.

"John?"

He moaned once more and his brow furrowed.

"Are you in pain? John talk to me!"

Rose sounded worried thought John guiltily, but for the moment he didn't want to open his eyes. Where was he? A cold hard surface, he stretched a hand out and felt a tiled floor. The pool room? No that hadn't been tonight he was in the kitchen. It came flooding back and he gasped as his eyes shot open. Donna, Mars and Ood Sigma.

"John! Oh thank God." She gathered him in her arms and hugged him to her.

"What happened?" He murmured.

"I don't know. You were dreaming and I heard you, you were calling out. I don't remember the words that woke me but you definitely said TARDIS and No more than once and then you stood up and stared at something in that corner," she pointed to a corner of their kitchen, "And then I think you fainted. I sort of caught you well I ended up here just underneath you anyway."

He shifted position to try and sit up but was forced back down by a wave of nausea, he gagged and retched and rolled on to his side.

"Stay here. I'm just gonna get a bowl and a wash cloth OK?"

His only response was another low moan. He felt awful but he couldn't tell her why. He thought his physical reaction was one of shock but he could hardly tell Rose he was in shock after seeing *him* change a fixed point in time could he?

What had *he* been thinking? God this floor was hard and cold. Where was Rose?

"Rose..?"

"Right here" she dropped to his side and slipped a cushion under his head and wiped his face with a cool wash cloth. She placed a small bowl next to him and pressed a plastic tumbler of cold water to his lips. He sipped gratefully and with Rose's help he got himself in to a seated position with his back leaning against a cupboard.

"Better?"

"Thank you, can I have more water?"

"Sure, just don't puke it back on me."

"I'll try not to."

When he had drunk again he let his head drop forwards with his chin on his chest. Rose observed him; he looked like shit still. Pale, sweaty and shaking. She placed a hand on his forehead before speaking,

"I don't care what you say I am calling Dr Vince out to you today."

"I don't need a doctor."

"I disagree. John you fainted and we should try and find out why."

"A bad dream, nothing more."

"Bad dreams don't make an otherwise healthy person faint John."

"I don't need a doctor."

"Well what do you need?"

"Sleep."

"And every time you sleep you have bad dreams."

"Not every time."

"Often enough. John please, humour me I'm scared."

He sighed and repeated himself,

"I don't need a doctor but if it means you'll stop worrying…"

"Thank you, I think you need a blood test, maybe you're anemic or…"

"I'm not anemic I'm just tired."

"Well some sleeping tablets then! Something to keep you properly asleep."

"Yeah that would be right, tablets for a normal human function…"

"Don't John; lots of people need help sleeping."

"I'm too tired to argue with you. Rose I feel awful."

"Do you think you can make it back to bed if I help you? I can call Mum and Dad."

"No let's not bother them; I'm sure that together we can make it."

"Slowly then John."

Very slowly he crawled to the kitchen table and with Rose's help he hauled himself upright. The room swam momentarily but he shook his head to clear it and by leaning on Rose he was able to make a slow progress to their bedroom. Eventually she had him in bed and after fussing around him she finally left him alone to sleep.

He didn't sleep but each time Rose checked on him he pretended to be sound asleep. She had left a beaker of water on his bedside table and had propped a note by it which read,

*Dr Vince will come around after his morning surgery.

Love you and go back to sleep, Rose.*

Eventually he decided to stop fighting what he had seen and accept it. *He* had changed a fixed point in time. No one should do that and there would be terrible consequences. If Ood Sigma had appeared to him then he had also appeared to *him.* Did that mean that when *he* regenerated he John would die?

They were linked. They were the same… but he John couldn't regenerate. Surely he'd die… Rose would lose him again. They had just decided to try for a family but could he carry on with that knowing that if she conceived she'd be condemned to bring up his child alone?

"Jackie did it."

"Donna?"

"Yes it's me and anyway how do you know you will die when *he* changes?"

"You can read my mind?"

"When your thoughts are as clear as that and if I concentrate yes I can."

"If *he* changes I will die."

"You don't know that."

"I can't make a baby with Rose."

"For all you know you already have."

"Have I?"

"I don't know but you have no right to deny what she wants because you might die. Anyone might die at any time. There are no guarantees in a human life."

"You're right and I can't very well stop now without alerting her."

"John, tell her. You need to tell her. Tell her before the doctor gets here."

John was alarmed and spoke loudly and angrily,

"*He's* coming here?"

"No no," soothed Donna, "Your doctor with a little d, Dr Vince. Rose is coming John she heard you call out. Tell her."

Donna was right, he could hear Rose on the stairs and as Donna faded away she mouthed the words "Tell her" to him.