Chapter five Explanations
Severus stormed through the hall of Hogwarts in a rage, flying into Minerva's office with out bothering to knock.
"Who is she, Minerva?" He snarls furiously.
"Who is who?" Minerva questions calmly.
"The woman you sent to me with memories I should have but don't." He says, whispering dangerously, "Who is she?"
"How much have you seen?" She sighs heavily.
"Who is she?" He demands again.
"Sit down," She instruct in an attempt to calm him down.
He glares at her before complying.
"Would you like a drink?" She offers politely.
"Not for myself. However, a few drops of veritaserum in your tea should do nicely," He snaps at her, "What I want is a bloody answer."
"Her name is Tara Doe," Minerva sighs, finally giving in. "I hired her to assist Madam Pomfrey the year of the final battle. If you tell me what you saw, I can fill in the blanks."
He glares at her cautiously before continuing.
"I knew her? She worked with me?" He asks.
"Yes," Minerva answers honestly. "It was often joked about whether she was Madam Pomfrey's assistant or yours. You were a bit unfair to her at first, constantly throwing her abilities into question. However, it wasn't long before you began to respect her."
"Did I love her?" He asks quietly, avoiding her gaze, "I saw…moments of intimacy."
"She slept in your chambers after a while." Minerva replies quietly. "I'm not sure how it happened. It was your private life, Severus. I wasn't there so I can't tell you much. The only person who can is Tara. Where is she? I assume she turned up for occlumency lessons?"
"Did I intend to marry her?" He continues, ignoring her question.
"You came to me with a dark blue velvet box. Inside was a white gold ring with a sapphire stone surrounded by tiny crystals. You said she didn't like diamonds…she never got the ring, but informed me that you did propose before you left to face you-know-who. However, what your actual intentions were, I do not know."
He stands up and starts pacing back and forth in front of her desk. "Why did she leave? Why didn't you tell me?" He demands.
"You had returned to your old, bitter ways. She left because she was afraid. You couldn't remember her, Severus, and she was afraid she had lost you, the man she loved. She had no hope, and before the reality of it all could hit her, she let you go. It was a poor attempt to spare herself as much suffering as possible. I told her, when she first arrived for the lessons, that she should tell you the truth. I was afraid you would find out on your own and become upset. Looking at the way your acting now, my fears were well founded. However, she insisted that if you couldn't remember her after four years, there was no point in telling you. Severus, where is she?" Minerva demands firmly.
"Apparently I didn't mean that much to her. She had the nerve to show up to today's lesson not only four hours late, but also hungover. Then she had the nerve to tell me that she got drunk because she wanted to screw the bastard sitting next to her. I was angry-"
"You mean you were jealous," She interrupts him, seeing right through him.
"I was angry," he repeats insistently, "and used ligillimens on her. The alcohol that was still in her system made her mind so easy to penetrate that I saw memories from..."He breaks off.
"From before you-know-who tried to kill you." She provides.
"Yes," He confirms, "I threw her out. Knowing her, she's back at the Three Broomsticks, hoping to get lucky with some other idiot."
"That's just it, Severus. You've forgotten her. You don't know her."
"And I suppose you do?" He snaps, "People can change in four years, Minerva!"
"That may be true, but I don't think she has." Minerva replies.
"Then where do you think she is?" He challenges.
"Packing. She's going home." Minerva answers, sighing heavily.
"What about her occlumency lessons?" Severus demands, frowning.
"Severus, she was reluctant to face you to begin with. Now that you do know, and you've thrown her out of your office the moment you found out, do you honestly think she's likely to come back?" Minerva points out. "I'm more concerned with how she'll deal with the Welshire Brothers."
"They're punishing her with nightmares, Minerva. She has progressed enough in occlumency to be able to stop them. It's hardly anything to worry about." He replies.
"It wasn't just nightmares, Severus. Let me show you something." She shifts through the papers on her desk and hands Severus three pieces of parchment. His face became paler after reading each one.
"They're threatening her with rape, murder, and kidnapping…not necessarily in that order, and she shrugs it off by saying that the three men are all talk and no action." She informs him.
"Really? So that's how Rutnam ended up in St. Mungo's? It was because the brothers were afraid to act?" He returns sarcastically.
"My thoughts exactly." Minerva agrees.
"We have to stop her," Severus replies, quickly coming to a decision.
"Why, Severus! You actually sound as though you care for the girl!" Minerva says in mock surprise.
"You mean despite the fact that she's willing to screw any random man that she meets in a pub?" Severus counters.
"How do you know she did?" Minerva questions, "You were obviously angry at the time. You wouldn't have noticed whether or not she was lying."
"Why else would she drink to such an extent?" Severus demands, "Assuming its' not a habit?"
"Did you upset her in any way during her lessons yesterday?" Minerva asks.
"No," Severus answers firmly, "Actually, yesterday was the first time she was able to keep me from penetrating her mind."
"Did she stay after the lesson, even for a moment?" Minerva pushes.
"Yes, but not for long. The conversation got a bit too personal and she left." He replies.
"What did you talk about? What made her decide to leave?" She prods.
"A man from her past…a lover who had the nerve to forget-" Severus breaks off, realization dawning on him.
"That, Severus, is why she drank last night." Minerva answers.
"I asked her if she loved him and she left." Severus mutters, "Do you think she's still at the cottage?"
"There is a chance. We'll take floo."
"She's not here," Severus snaps in frustration.
"I have her home address, if you'd like to go see her there." Minerva offers.
"Why me? Why don't you check up on her yourself?" Severus demands.
"Do you or do you not wish to see her? To question her in regards to the details of your relationship with her?" Minerva asks, already knowing the answer.
He studies her guardedly before answering, "I do."
"I'm not blind, Severus. You're in love with her." Minerva adds.
"I'm not," He denies.
"Then why were you so angry when she told you she had been with someone else? Also, why did that anger persist up until the point when you were presented with the thought that she may leave, and that she was in danger?" Minerva points out.
"Minerva, you are far too observant," Severus snaps at her.
"Then you don't deny it?" She asks.
"Just give me the address!" he sighs in defeat.