Disclaimer: I do not own naruto
Warnings…..: hehe not telling :D
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Chapter 6. To the edge.
"I have to go." He slurred racing from the classroom.
"Wait Gaara." Kasashi said from the corner. Making the red head turn on the spot, although he kept his eyes downwards. "Just letting you know that the school ball is being held in a few days. Its tradition before the genin exams that every village come together and celebrate."
"Every village?" Gaara asked.
"Yes, even the sand, so you will be able to see some of your old friends."
Gaara felt his heart stop and turned from the room. Ninjas from the sand would be coming here. He felt things move in slow motion. 'His friends. Ha! Like I have any.' He thought walking through the school grounds. He numbly made his way home. Once he got to his door he turned and had no idea how he had gotten there. The drug seemed to be playing time tricks with his mind. There was at note at the door, it read:
Gaara glad to see you stayed at someone's house last night. We are happy you have made some friends. We will be back for dinner, see you then!
Kan and Temari.
Gaara sighed to himself, he had been starting to enjoy being by himself. He went upstairs and grabbed Temari's vodka and walked to his bathroom. His face looked pale and his eyes were red and his pupils were black. He looked like the demon inside him.
"Sand ninja are coming here for a ball." He said to himself. In his mind things were going bad, the drug had started to take on a horrible overtone. All around him he saw faces of the kids from the sand, they laughed at him and ran away from him. They hated him. Now they were coming here, just after he thought he had escaped that place his past was coming back to haunt him. He bent over the basin and made himself vomit till his eyes were on fire and his breath had turned to panicked gasps. In a haze he took out Temari's bottle of dexies and started to fumble with the lid.
"Gaara?" A voice said behind him. Gaara turned with his Kunai outstretched ready to defend himself. "Hey there, I ain't gonna hurt you."
"You're the guy from the park." Gaara said lowering his Kunai
"Yeah, my name is Zabuza." It was the first time Gaara had looked at him properly, he was wearing high waisted pin striped pants and a tank top.
"How did you find me?" Was all that Gaara managed to say.
"I told you I would find you didn't I?" He said sitting on Gaara's bed, waiting for him to leave the bathroom. "I am sorry about how we met, it was wrong of me to grab you like that, it's just I thought you could do with a release."
"Yeah, it's okay." Gaara said moving from the bathroom and standing in the door way.
"Looks like those pills I gave you are going well. But I wouldn't mix them with those things in your hand, or they will have nasty side effects." Zubuza said smiling.
Gaara made a sound akin to a grunt.
"How about we finish off that vodka instead?" Zubuza said laughing as Gaara threw the bottle at him. "So tell me all about yourself." Zubuza said lying on the bed as he came to sat down next to him.
"Not much to say." Gaara said looking at the guy next to him, he was toned and rugged. He noticed his pupils were as big as his own. "You had one of the pills too?" Gaara asked curious.
"Yeah. They are good huh. Make you feel all loved up."
"Hmmm. Yeah." Gaara said looking up at the ceiling, somewhere in his mind he knew that laying on his bed with this guy who drugged him and tried to take his pants off wasn't a good idea. But something – maybe the drugs - made him feel content with the situation. This guy Zubuza seemed to be a misunderstood soul as well.
"How was your night?" Zubuza asked next to him
"It was..." Gaara paused not knowing what to say.
"The pills made you do something...?" Zubzua asked.
"Yeah. They did." Gaara sighed
"What?"
"...I had ...sex ...with that girl and then me and the guy we."
"Had sex?" Zubzua asked turning on his side to face the red head.
"Nah we... finished each other off orally." Gaara sighed feeling sick. He instantly grabbed for the vodka and took large swigs, cringing his eyes, trying to black out the images from last night.
"I see, was it a bad thing?" Zubzua asked.
Gaara stopped drinking. 'was it bad?' he asked himself, "no, it wasn't bad, it's just."
"You don't like talking about this kind of stuff huh?"
"It's just wrong that's all. It's what people do when they love each other, and no one loves me," Gaara confessed feeling tears well up in his eyes, "So it's wrong, these feelings are wrong." He finished in a whisper.
They lay in silence for a while. Each drinking from the vodka for different reasons.
"So my friend." Zubuza said breaking the silence, "What would you like to do now? Anything in the world, we can do." He asked sitting up and swigging more of the vodka.
"Just drink and lay here and just... Be." Gaara replied rubbing his stomach with his hand. His belly felt strange like he hadn't eaten in so long it was swallowing him whole.
"We can do that." Zubuza said laying back down.
They stayed like this for most of the day, talking and getting slowly more drunk as the drugs wore off.
They both giggled for the 50th time.
"What's funny?" Gaara said grinning at nothing.
"I don't know." Zubuza said laughing. "My stomach hurts from laughing, and I am so hungry, let's raid your kitchen."
"Yes! That's a great idea." Gaara said leading Zubuza down stairs by the hands and into his kitchen. "Except, I don't know how to cook." Gaara admitted.
"That's fine. You have on your hands the best cook in the hidden mist village!" He said grabbing out some eggs.
"Wonderful." Gaara said hiccupping and standing in Zubuza's way of the bench. The man looked down at him with a small smile on his face.
"Move, letttme put these eggsss down." Zubuza giggled.
"Kiss me." Gaara said sounding braver than he felt.
Zubuza's expression changed and suddenly he looked more sober, "I'm not gay Gaara, I know I grabbed you that day, I was high and I like sex."
"So kiss me then."
Zubuza looked at Gaara closely and then shrugged, "If it's what you want. Then so do I." He said while putting the eggs down. In one quick movement he lifted Gaara up onto the table and positioned himself between his legs. Slowly Gaara felt him slide his hands under his shirt and pull him closer. He smelt like vodka and musk. He had an infatuating scent similar to Neji's. Gaara felt his heart rate triple as their lips came into contact with each other. Gaara immediately opened his mouth more, excepting Zubuza's tongue. He was then pushed backwards, so he was lying on the table as Zubzua jumped on top of him. Gaara could see the hunger in the man's eyes, the want. His shirt was lifted up and over his head as Zubuza increased their pace. He felt Zubuza's hands all over him and then on his jeans trying to unzip them.
"Wait. Wait!" Gaara said pulling Zubuza off, "I can't do this."
"Why? What's wrong? You wanted to a moment ago."
"I know. I just can't. I need time to think everything through." Gaara said sliding off the table. "Is that okay?"
"Yeah, yeah it's okay. I'll find you when you have made your mind up." He said before disappearing.
Gaara stood emotionless for a moment, not knowing what to do. It had been such a crazy week, what he had done with Shika... He pushed it to the back of his mind, he didn't want to think about the possibility he could be gay. How could he be, after what his dad did to him, how could he be gay, unless he liked what his dad did. Acting as if on automatic he grabbed the bottle of vodka and walked out the door. He found himself heading towards the school. Classes would almost be over for the day. He stood at the entrance with the bottle in one hand and saw some students standing outside. He made his way over to them with the intent on asking where Kiba or Neji were. He realised though to his annoyance he didn't recognise any of them. But they all recognised him and stood back watching him sway. One of them a black haired girl pointed out the bottle in his hand and made a remark he didn't catch, but it made the others around her laugh. Gaara stood there watching them all for a moment. He was pissed off, he hated people like her. He wanted to tell her just what he thought of her, but his eyes automatically as if feeling them, spotted Kiba and Neji. Gaara felt his heart sink and the bile rise in his throat. Neji was walking with Sakura, their hands knotted together at their sides. He looked happy. Next to him Kiba had his arm protectively draped over a tired Hinata. Gaara started to slowly back away from the group of students standing there and started to walk towards the exit of the school.
"Hey Gaara!" A voice yelled piercing through the courtyard. Gaara continued walking pretending not to hear. "Hey!" Naruto said appearing in front of him blocking his way out. Behind him the rest of the group started to walk over.
"What cha doing?" Naruto asked bouncing up and down on the balls of his feat.
"Leaving." Gaara said trying to move around the blonde.
"Are you drinking still?" Ino asked from behind him.
"Move Naruto." Gaara hissed not wanting to turn around and see the two boys he craved holding hands and hugging other girls.
"Gaara I." A soft voice said.
Gaara turned around to look at Hinata. She looked exhausted her eyes were red and pupils were still larger than normal.
"I hope you're not drinking because of last night." She said quietly.
"What happened last night?" Naruto asked looking from them both. Gaara looked away and saw Shika standing there, his face passive. The whole group was watching him, he was sure the whole school was watching or at least listening. 'What have I done, why did I come here at all. This was a stupid idea.' He felt the panic rising inside of him; he didn't want to face their eyes, their smirks. He started to back away, but bumped into Naruto who was still behind him. Bouncing off Naruto he looked for a way out.
"Gaara? What's the matter?" Kiba said coming forwards trying to hold the red head.
"Leave me alone..." He said trying to back away from Kiba. He felt the world spinning around him, faces everywhere closing in. Gaara felt claustrophobic and started to hyperventilate. They would all find out, they would all know what he did with Shika, what would Kiba and Neji think of him then. They would hate him. They already hated him. He brought up then sand from the ground and made it hover around him protectively.
"Leave me alone." He hissed at Kiba. Kiba's eyes grew wide and for a moment he looked hurt. "Get out of my way Naruto." Gaara yelled making the sand grab the blonde by his feet and chuck him sideways, thus clearing his path. Gaara started to jog towards the gate, using the confusion to leave.
"Ha! I don't think so!" Guy sensi said appearing in front of him, "Bullies will be punished by the full extent, fighting in this ninja academy is strictly forbidden."
Gaara looked up at the teacher standing in his way.
"Move." Gaara hissed.
"I don't think so son, you need a strict hand and firm guidance if the power of youth within you is to flourish!"
Gaara spun around looking for another way out, but the group hand formed behind him, with an angry Naruto in the lead. Gaara saw that Kiba and Neji were holding him back. For a moment there was silence, no one made any movement except the sand swirling around Gaara.
"If I may." Said a voice. Gaara looked to see that Zubuza had appeared next to him. "Need a hand?" Zubuza grinned down at Gaara's face.
"Yes. Get me out of here."
"This guy?" Kiba yelled suddenly enraged, "This is the guy that drugged you? And grabbed you! You trust him now?"
"Not only that," Guy sensi said from behind them, "He is a rouge ninja from the village hidden in the mist, a wanted fugitive and in the bingo book."
"Hey I never confessed to be a good guy." Zubuza said shrugging and then looked at Gaara seriously, "Choice is yours Gaara, have you made your mind up, on both things?"
"Yes. You can have me." Gaara said looking at Zubuza seriously. Gaara didn't care anymore. The boys he liked hated him, he had no future.
"Come on then." Zubuza said pulling him close to him. He leaned down and kissed Gaara. The last thing he saw before they disappeared was Kiba's eyes, his big sad eyes.
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:O
Next Chapter: Confrontation!
Arrow
R&R