Stephanie's POV
What does one do when they are arrested by the person they are dating?
The first reaction is almost a given- You get mad.
But what do you do after that?
Take it from me, I've been in plenty of situations that caused me Italian temper to go off, and from those experences I have realized that no matter how mad you get it won't make a difference.
Scream all you want, you're still gonna get shot.
Cry all you want, they're still going to shove you in a trunk.
Kick all you want, they are still going to stalk you.
Punch them in the face, they're going to arrest you in an attempt to marry them.
Okay, so maybe that last one only happens to me.
Anyway, back to the point. Since anger is the only thing I have right now, and we just established that it won't get me anything but a shit load of nothing, we can just assume that I continue on down the road to nowhere.
Wait a minute...
I don't have nothing.
I have a lawyer.
Well actually, I have a Ranger in a suit with a briefcase.
You know what that gets me?
One hell of a fantasy...or two...or three dozen
Well yes, but that also gives me...something...
Huh.
I'm not quite sure what Ranger in a suit can give. (Other than the fantasies) I have never even seen him in court before. Oh hell.
What I am I going to do if Ranger doesn't even know what to do?
Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out.
Now think of calming and beautiful images.
A donut. Yum
A shoe sale. Wow
A car that can never blow up. Halleluiah
A dog that can clean up after itself. Thank the Lord.
A man that can clean up after itself. Wait what's the difference between this and the previous one?
A delicious cake that has no calories. If only
Ranger in a bed with silk sheets... Oh. My. God.
Where the hell did that last one come from?
Just relax Steph and just keep pictuing it. You need it okay. You've just been arrested and there is no sugar anywhere in site.
Keep picturing Ranger naked. No problem.
"Are you feeling okay Steph? Your drooling and you look a little crazed there." It was Carl and he was holding out a cup of coffee to me.
"Carl what are you doing here?" I asked as I took the cup of coffee from him.
"I work here Steph" He said that slowly, emphasizing every word like you would with a child, as he sat down on the chair across from me.
"I know that you dumbass. I mean what are you doing here in this room. How did you know I was here? And where is Ranger?"
"Everyone knows you're here Steph, you made such a commotion coming in when you tried to grab Morelli's gun and shoot him with it."
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Almost would have been able to do it if my hands weren't handcuffed behind my back...and if I didn't trip over my own feet. Yeah, real smooth Steph. And then you wonder why people laugh when you tell them your a bounty hunter.
"Couldn't you have waited another three weeks to get arrested Steph?" Carl said, interupting me from my inner musings. "I had two hundred bucks riding on that deal and I just lost it."
"You guys actually had a bet on when Morelli would arrest me!"
"Actually, it was just a bet on when you would get arrested." Oh
"But then we made another bet on who would press charges. Big Dog won that one in case you were wondering, so that actually means I lost three hundred bucks. Thanks a lot Steph."
Scum. All men scum. When I rule the world every last one of them will burn in hell or become my servants. Except Ranger, he'll me my special kind of slave...speaking of Ranger.
"What about Ranger? Where did he go? I need to talk to him." I have to ask him about what we were going to do, cause I sure as hell had no idea.
"Ranger went to go make a call. He is right outside the door. I'll go tell him that you want to talk to him." He got up and waked to the door, as he reached out to grab the door knob, he paused and turned to me.
"Steph?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know all the details of what happened, but just know that I am on your side and that I wish you luck."
"Thank you Carl." Maybe not all of them are scum.
"I would hate to see a nice ass like that behind bars, and I have one hundred dollars saying that you'll kick Joe's ass in court."
I retract my previous statement.
"Go to hell, but thank you for the compliment on my ass and your support in this situation."
"Aw, is that really something you should say to a friend who is on your side."
"Probably not, but then again I'm on the other side of the law now. I've gone rogue and I've gone solo."
"You've been watching Clint Eastwood movies haven't you."
"A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." We both laughed at that.
"You know Steph, I meant it when I said I hope you win."
"So you can get the money?"
"No, well yeah, but not only that, but because I know you're a good person Steph, and I believe that Morelli went to far with this one."
"Well, you're proabaly the only one in the Burg who will think so."
"What do you mean Steph?"
"As if you don't know. I've been the black sheep of the Burg for as long as I can remember."
"What about Joe? He wasn't exactly the golden boy back in the day."
"He's a cop now. Where he's gone from bad to good, I've gone from bad to worse."
"Steph, look what he just did as a cop. He arrested a woman he claims to love."
"That's not how it's going to be said in the Burg. Their view of the situation is that Morelli doen't deserve what I did to him, so I deserve what he did to me. To them Morelli is a really good man who did what any cop would do when faced with a crazy and dangerous woman."
"Steph, that isn't true."
I looked at him and smiled.
"You're crazy sure, but never dangerous."
My smile turned into a scowl and I gave him the mother of all glares.
"Have I told you recently how much I loath you?"
"You and every other woman I know." He glanced at his watched and grimanced. "I have to go now Steph. You know that cop stuff you see on TV is complete bullshit. All I do here is file paperwork, drink coffee, wrestle the occasional nudiest here or there into handcuffs, and watch as my belly goes over my belt."
"I would laugh, but unfortunately I know exactly you're going through."
He got up and walked to the door, and just like before he paused.
"Steph?"
"Yeah Carl?"
"What were you thinking of before I interrupted you? You were looking a little crazed and dazed then"
I could feel the blood rush to my face as I reminisced on my previous thoughts on Ranger.
"Oh, I was just, uh, thinking about...cake."
"Must be some pretty damn good cake."
You have no idea.