Chapter 5 - The Lighthouse

Revised on 1/4/12

When did you learn to speak so well? How did you get that scar? Is there someone on your planet that you love more than anyone else? Why are you so bitter? Why did you take care of my wounds? Why do you understand me so well? Why was it me that you decided to seek out? What's so special about me?

To me, all these questions crashing around my mind sound like the waves, threatening to take me away.

I didn't see him all day. The only reminder that I had of his presence was the bandage left behind to cover my self inflicted wound from the night before. I knew that he was avoiding me, and that only served to inflame the hurt that was already there.

I wanted to see him.

I decided to stay home. I didn't want to see those three girls, or my co-workers, or my lecherous teachers, especially if I wasn't going to be seeing Pai. All of it was too much for me. I needed to see him, no matter what. But, I had no idea how to contact him, and I didn't know how to get to his dimension. My heart ached as I continued to think about him, so I tried my hardest to think about something else. Perhaps I was weak, both in body and in mind.

As the day progressed, the realization dawned on me that although I had allied myself with the aliens, I had done nothing for their effort. I spent the rest of the day compiling all the information that I had on the mews; addresses, powers, DNA infusions, the secret base under Café Mew Mew, usual hangout places, addresses of schools. It made me sick realizing just how much I knew about the mews. I guess that it made sense that I knew so much, since I was one of them. One of them…

Once I had groped around my brain for everything that I knew about the mews and written it down, I leaned back in my chair, staring that the poster on my ceiling; a scene from a faraway beach, the sun setting into the sea beyond the couple sitting on the edge of the dock. 'I will go to the library tomorrow after school' I decided. 'I'll get a few foreign photo collections. That will make me happier…'

I looked back down the pages in front of me that revealed everything that I knew about what I hated. I pulled up the sleeve of my sweater to look at the scars on my wrist, running my index finger over them. I thought that perhaps I should have worn something like Pai did over his arms, and then I realized that some of my 'friends' would take more notice that they did now. I looked over at my razor that I had cleaned earlier that day, staring at it for a long time before deciding to get up. I rose from my chair and lay down on my bed, curling up under my sheet.

Slowly, I drifted into a light slumber, until I was woken by stale air and a whooshing sound. The sheet was lifted from my body, and as I groggily opened my eyes, I realized that my light had gone out, leaving the room dark. I noticed a figure looming above me, holding up the sheet. I blinked very slowly, and smiled slightly, recognizing the lean form. He leaned down, his lips centimeters from my ear.

"Come with me, Retasu." He whispered to me in that familiar voice of his. "I have something to show you." I nodded very slowly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I remember thinking that he looked surprised when I did this, but I was half asleep, so most of the interaction is quite fuzzy in my mind.

He then slid his arms under me, lifting me from the comfort of my bed. I pulled myself into the warmth of his chest, a suitable replacement for my pillow. I closed my eyes again, falling back into the world of dreaming. When I awoke, I lay in the sand, a million broken shells scattered all around. I looked up at the sky, not yet bright from the rising sun. I looked over at the sinister figure that sat a foot or so away from me; Pai.

I blushed as I observed that he was once again wearing nothing but his pants. This time, however, I noticed scars running along his chest. After looking at him for a while, he turned to look at me, his expression remaining the same. "Good morning." He said softly, running his hand through his loose hair. I slowly sat up, looking out at the scene before me. What I saw was the gentle glow peeking out over the sea in the otherwise dark sky, showing where the sun would rise.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"The beach," He responded flatly. I realized that he probably wasn't going to be any more specific, so I gave up any hope that he would.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked, worried that he would say something truly heartbreaking.

"You love foreign shores." He said, more as a statement than a question. "I was concerned about you the night that I…" He paused, looking awkwardly at his feet. "After I bandaged you up that night, I looked at your books, waiting for you to wake up." I stared at him, somewhat awed by the melancholy expression that he wore.

"You didn't wake up until the sun rose, so I left, hoping that you would be okay without me." He stayed.

He turned to me, his eyes filled with sadness. "The character that you put on your leg…" He began, his voice getting quieter with every word. "That's how you write my name in your language, isn't it?" I turned back to the sea, nodding slightly.

"Ever since I met you…" I said, realizing that Pai had said the same exact thing as I, exactly at the same time. I turned to face him, looking at him in the eyes. I didn't finish, because he spoke first.

"I've become possessed." He said showing me his right forearm. I saw that there were a series of scabs, in the shape of symbols that I couldn't read.

"It says Retasu." He said as I looked up at his face that was inches from mine. "I really am sorry, but I can't…" He said, his eyes still filled with sorrow. He then frowned, his face drained of color. "I'm sorry." He said, lowering his arm as he turned away, looking back at the sea through the light mist. I realized then that tears were pouring down my cheeks, and had been for some time. I quickly wiped away all of the salty drops from my face and looked back at him.

"Pai-san," I began, his eyes flickering over to me. "It doesn't matter if you can feel the same way or not, but I really love you." I finished, feeling tears continue to fall from my eyes.

He continued to stare at the sea, not looking at me. His eyes were lifeless now as he stared at the waves that crashed onto the shore. He then looked at something behind me, and when I turned to see, I saw a lighthouse looming above the hills in the sand. I turned back to him to find him looking at me now.

"Do you want to go there?" He asked as I blinked in confusion. "We're going to the lighthouse." He said as he offered me his hand. I hesitantly placed my hand in his, and then closed my eyes after stealing one last glance of him. Once again, when I opened my eyes, I was seated inside a small, circular room.

Pai stood up first, pulling me up with our still intertwined hands. When I was on my feet, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I felt tears welling up again as he buried his head in the crevice between my neck and my shoulder. I heard the waves crashing in the distance as I returned his embrace, unable to stop the tears. As we stood there, wrapped in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity, I felt the warmth of the rising sun on my back. Finally, Pai's grip loosened, and he pulled back from me, staring into my eyes.

Slowly he drew closer, pulling me back into him, his hands resting on my back. His lips were so warm when they met mine, I couldn't stop myself from letting more tears flow as he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck again, pulling him into the kiss even more. Although he never told me exactly what his feelings were, I decided that this meant that he accepted mine.

I could hear the fog horn of a distant ship drowning out the sound of the waves that filled my ears.