"Baby I didn't know… I didn't know and I'm so sorry Emma…" he said just above a whisper.
She started to cry harder, leaning against him out of sheet instinct; melting into his strong arms that wrapped tightly around him.
"Emma, I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't know…"
Anger, the worst Stabler trait, overtook her little body.
"How could you n-not know…" she sobbed into his chest, her voice cracking with excretion.
"Baby it's complicated adult things..-"
She cut him off, pulling back and slamming her small hands on his chest.
"I'm so sick of complicated adult things! Y-you…"
She trailed off, falling into a full blown panic attack as tears streamed down her face and her breath became labored.
Olivia stepped in, then, pulling her off of Elliot's lap and into her own so that her back rested against her own chest.
"Emma, breathe with mommy, baby," she coached steadily, allowing the young girl to catch her breath as best she could against her.
"That's our strong girl… there she is," Liv encouraged softly as Emma began to steady. "There she is… mommy and daddy's strong girl. You get it front both of us, Emma. So much from both of us, no matter how we got here."
The little girls face screwed up, and she shook her head making Elliot's heart break again.
He was a wreck as he watched the scene unfold before him.
His poor little girl was her broken, and he knew it was because of him; because he'd come back.
Reading his mind, Olivia gave him a look over their daughters head that was punctuated by a sharp shake of his own.
Nodding slowly, he took a steady breath and moved towards them, taking a brief moment to take them in.
It occurred to him, then, just how many times he'd seen her that way; calming the un-calm-able and mothering the parent-less.
He supposed his daughter felt fatherless, at least, at the moment.
His daughter.
She was looking more and more like her mother every day; kind hearted and loving, just like her; a friend to everyone she came across; strong and brave and stood up for her little brother, no matter how annoying he was being or how wrong he was; but in that moment, he couldn't help but notice, she was so small.
In her momma's lap, matching her breath and with her eyes closed, he was reminded that is mature little girl was still just little.
Crawling carefully across the bed, he sat cross legged in front of them both and gently placed their overlapped arms.
"Emma Bee?" He asked softly. "Do you think you can look at me?"
She started to sniffle again and her lip quivered as her eyes screwed more tightly shut.
"Ok ok ok…" he said softly. "You don't have to… but will you just listen a minute?"
He waited until her face relaxed slightly and she nodded once, quickly.
"I made…" he paused, a moment to steady his shaking voice. "I made some really.. really terrible mistakes. And I was really terrible to your mommy, and because of that, you too."
Dropping his hands to her's, he squeezed tightly and smiled just a little when she wheezed back. Liv looked at him, tears forming in her eyes.
With a gentle nod to her, he continued.
"I will never, ever be able to make up for the lost time and all the time mommy spent so sad cause of me. But I promise you Emma, I will do whatever I can for the rest of my life to try to. I'm never leaving you again, baby girl. I'm gonna work to be the best daddy to you, and to Noah, that I can and the best man for your momma. I promise you that."
Tears began to spill out of the corners of her closed eyes, and using a large thumb he brushed them away.
"Baby girl I love you. I love you so much. I've loved you since the moment I saw you in the park that day. I know this is a lot to process," he said more softly, "so I'm going to sit on the couch and let you be with momma for a little. And when you're ready? You come talk to me. I'm here for you baby. Forever."
He pressed several soft kisses to her temple, exhaling a silent sigh of relief when she nodded.
"I love you baby girl…" he repeated, leaning over her to kiss Liv's cheek, "and I love you, Olivia," he nodded before leaving for the living room.
As she let her girl calm down a bit more, she found her eyes wandering towards the dresser across from the bed they shared on so many nights.
It was lined with picture of their family that they'd build over the previous year.
Photos of her and Elliot; with the littles; one photo of the whole gang and one of just all the siblings.
When the intuitive ten year old opened her eyes, she followed her mom's gaze and cleared her throat softly.
"Do they know?" She asked softly.
Liv nodded against her head and pressed a soft kiss to her hair.
"They've known since the week of our first family dinner," she whispered, "I… I told daddy that he couldn't be in your life until the big kids knew. So we told them. We talked for a long time and…" her voice cracked a bit, "and they decided to give me and your dad another chance and get to know you guys. And they fell in love too baby… just like your daddy."
Emma just sniffled in response, staying quiet for a few more minutes before finally braving a look up to her mom.
"He really didn't know?"
She shook her head, gently pushing her hair behind her ears and wiping away a few stay tears.
"He would have been back here without a second thought."
Emma inhaled a shakey breath at the words she knew to be true before her eyes widened in realization.
"D-did… was he still married to Kathy…"
Olivia took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly before looking down at her.
"Yes baby."
"S-so he cheated on Kathy," she said, more as a statement than a question.
"We both were wrong, Emma. It wasn't just your daddy."
"Jess's daddy did that to her mom b-but he sees Jess and the new baby," she responded, her lip quivering.
"And… and your daddy would have been there too, baby, if he had known."
"But why didn't he know? You didn't call him?"
"I did baby… but he didn't answer. He'd gone through a lot at work and… he wasn't in a good space."
Emma sat quietly for a while longer, processing the news and staring at the now obvious similarities in all of their family photos.
"I don't want to talk to him right now," she said, finally, "can I sleep with you?"
Her voice was small, and Liv nodded immediately.
"Oh sweetie…Of course. It's late and you're exhausted. Let's get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning?"
She nodded and moved to curl up in Elliot's spot, curling into his pillow and hugging it to her chest.
Liv sighed softly, laying beside her and wrapping her in her arms after she tucked her in.
Drifting off almost immediately, Emma sighed.
"I love you momma…"
"I love you more, Emma Bernadette."
Olivia watched her girl sleep until her soft snores filled the bedroom before carefully pulling from her embrace and creeping to the living room.
El was sitting up straight on the couch, wide awake and clearly with his mind running wild.
She paused, watching him; taking interest in the way his mind raced through his now dark blue eyes, just like their daughter's; the way his chest rose and fell as he tried to keep his anger at bay, just like her's.
They were so similar that it scared her.
Clearing her throat slightly, she took a step forward and nodded when he looked back.
"She's asleep," she whispered.
He nodded slowly and stood even slower. "Olivia… I'm… Jesus I'm sorry."
Holding a hand up, she slowly rounded the couch and sat down, motioning for him to sit again.
With nervous hesitation, he did, and turned to face her when she pulled her knee up between them to face him.
"You've got to stop apologizing, El."
He nodded slowly and exhaled sharply.
Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth to speak before pausing and looking down; away from him.
"Just ask it." He said, a tinge of hurt in his voice.
In the time between his question and her response, he took several long and calming breaths in a desperate attempt to keep his bubbling anger and hurt at bay.
"Please promise me you're not going to run," she held her hand up to him as he started to protest and she raised her voice a little. "Jesus, Elliot please. I know, but just please promise me. Promise me."
Screwing his eyes shut, he exhaled sharply and nodded slowly before taking her hands.
"I haven't left In the last year. I don't plan on leaving now. Not right now, not ever."
His words were steady and measured, and his voice sure and confident.
Taking a deep breath and finally allowing her tears to fall, she nodded and laid against him, melting into his embrace.
He tightened his grip on her, whispering soft words of encouragement as he rocked with her.
"I love you. I'm not going anywhere. We are a family and nothing will change that, Benson."
She nodded quickly into his chest, soft sobs of relief and nerves wracking her body.
As he calmed her, his eyes drifted up to Eli who'd finally come from his room after having listening to the whole ordeal.
Eli say carefully beside her, placing w hand in her back and rubbing a few small circles before laying against her.
Forcing herself to get under control, she untucked herself from Elliot and wrapped her closest arm tightly around him, pressing several kisses to the top of his head.
"I love you, Liv," he said softly.
"I love you, sweet boy," she choked out, snaking another around around him and leaning them both into Elliot.
They sat like that for a while before the elder Stabler glanced at the clock on the wall and spoke softly.
"Alright guys… it's late. We all need to get some sleep, okay?"
"Yeah," Liv agreed, reluctantly letting go of her bonus son.
Eli gave them long hugs before shuffling off to the room he shared with Noah, no doubt ready to send a myriad of texts to his siblings.
Elliot walked slowly behind Olivia, stopping at their doorway.
"M-maybe I should sleep on the couch?" He asked carefully. "I don't wanna make her uncomfortable."
"You promised you'd never let me sleep alone again when we're together…" she whispered, her lip beginning to quiver again.
He furrowed his brows, glancing over at their girl as she put her hands flat on his chest.
"Show her you're serious, El."
"You're right," he nodded, kissing her forehead and leading her over the threshold.
She climbed into the middle of the bed next to their daughter, and he curled up on her side, pressing tightly behind her.
Emma woke early the next morning, just as the sun was beginning to light up the bedroom.
She was sleepy and sad and her eyes were puffy from an evening of heavy crying.
Her eyes were on the ceiling for a moment as she adjusted to the world around her, taking note of the heavy arm draped across her.
Rolling towards her mother, her eyes widened when with surprise when she saw Elliot nuzzled behind her and sleeping uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. It was his arm that was draped around them both, holding them both as close as he could.
Both were facing her, and it was clear by how soundly they were sleeping that they'd stayed up much later than her.
Taking a deep breath, she quintet her eyes to focus on Elliot.
Her dad.
Her real dad.
Still there, snuggled up with her and her mom; not having left like she was sure he would after her outburst.
Tears welled in her eyes and she inches carefully closer to them. Reflexively, Elliot's arm tightened around them both and she watched him nuzzle a little tighter into her mom's caramel locks.
Closing her eyes, Emma drifted back to sleep, curled into the safety of her parents.
Her parents.
Liv woke a few hours later, eyes puffy and sweating from being sandwiched in between two space heaters.
"Wait, what," she whispered, eyes shooting open to find the father daughter duo on either side of her.
Looking down to where her stomach was on fire, she found Elliot's arm wrapped protectively around her and their daughter, the later of whom was snuggled into her with her arm of top of Elliot's.
Gently pushing her little girls hair from her face, she unlinked the arms on top of her and crept out of bed, smiling when Elliot instinctively pulled their baby girl closer.
Emma curled into her daddy's chest, letting out a contented sigh of relief.
Tearing up, Liv snapped a quick photo before tiptoeing from the bedroom and sending a photo to the family group chat.
L: We told her last night… long night but waking up to this was promising.
Maureen replied right away.
M: Eli told us… we're on our way over with breakfast. See you in an hour or so, love you.
Blinking quickly, Liv let several tears escape down her face which she quickly wiped away before responding.
L: Love you guys so much.
When Emma woke up again, Elliot was already awake, laying quietly and still holding onto her.
They both had heard the commotion of the big kids out in the kitchen because despite their best efforts to be quiet, they never were.
She yawned and buried her head in his chest, hiding her smile when he gave her a squeeze and kissed the top of her head.
"Did you sleep okay?" He finally asked her softly.
She nodded but remained quiet.
"Do you want to talk?" He asked her after a few more minutes of silence.
Despite the quiver of her lip, sniffle, and shake of her head, she stayed tucked in his embrace.
He couldn't help but smile.
He'd danced this dance 1,000 times before with his three older girls; her sisters.
"Well… how about we lay for for a while more… and then we can go eat breakfast with everyone?"
"Yeah," she whispered.
"And when you wanna talk," he continued carefully, "you tell me and I'll be ready."
Sniffling a little more, she nodded and he rubbing her back soothingly.
"S'ok to feel what you're feeling," he added before going silent so that she could relax.
When she finally spoke, it was with a voice that shook with uncertainty.
"I… I don't wanna call you d-daddy yet."
His heart broke in half, but he hid it well.
"You can call me Mr. Poopy Head and I'm still not going anywhere," he said, cause her to pull back and and giggle softly.
Cracking a smile, he leaned over to kiss her head. "I'm serious," he said, pausing until her blue eyes met his own. "I'm not going anywhere. You can't scare me away Emma Bee."
Her teeth sunk into her lower lip, and in that moment she was all Oliva Benson.
His smile was instant, and she quirked a brow that cemented her maternity.
"What?"
"You look like your momma right now."
"Who do I usually look like?" She chanced.
"Your youngest big sister," he winked and then shrugged casually after he stood. "And your old man," he nodded, backing out of the room with a smirk on his face.
Emma took a moment before slowly following him and joining the rest of the family in the kitchen.
"Heeyyy" everyone cried, causing her to smile shyly.
She bee-lined for Liz, who had her arms open and waiting for her.
"I thought it would be fun to have a girls day. Just the four of us… what do you think?"
"That would be awesome," she said, her eyes briefly lighting up before they danced over to Noah.
They exchanged a quick glance and both nodded.
"Be right back," Emma said softly, leading her brother into her room and shutting the door.
Dickie snorted. "You sure they're not twins…"
Once he'd shut the door, Emma turned and looked to her brother.
"You ok?" He asked her softly and she nodded.
"I don't want to call him dad… not yet…"
Noah's lip quivered. "B-b-but…"
She cut him off.
"You can I just don't want to… not yet."
He took a deep breath and nodded as the pair fell into an awkward silence for a moment.
"It kinda makes sense," said finally- bluntly - "you look just like Lizzie."
They smiled at the same time.
"Dad said that earlier…"
"Thought you weren't calling him that," Noah giggled.
"Shush," Emma muttered, opening her arms for a hug when Noah bounced over to her.
"Daddy loves you. Me too. So…" he took a deep breath. "Just… give him a chance," he shrugged.
The pair returned minutes later to a kitchen full of adults who were trying to be casual.
"All good?" Liv asked.
The duo nodded and Noah leaned into his sister who ruffled his hair.
"Noh you wanna do a boys day with me and Dick?" Eli asked, nudging his little brother.
"Yes!!!" Noah cried, gasping and jumping up and down before rushing to hug Eli, making even the cynical Dickie smile.
"Wait," he paused, pulling back to look at Elliot and Olivia. "Mom, daddy is that okay?"
Everyone chuckled and Maureen held her hand over her chest at the new use of the term.
Elliot grinned. "Y-yeah… buddy that's fine. Hey- I didn't get a good morning hug!" He cried, rushing towards him.
Noah squealed, running from his dad who was now chasing him around the living room. Their joint laughter filled the space, and Elliot finally caught his boy, lifting him up over his shoulder and hanging him upside down.
In the kitchen, Emma leaned backward into her mom who simply pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
El and Liv got the littles off with the older kids after everyone finished breakfast.
The boys left first, followed by the older girls who gave Emma a moment to hang back and hug Elliot.
"I'll be here when you get home," he whispered and she nodded.
"I-I know…" she nodded slowly. "I.. I know."
"I love you… have fun with sissies okay?"
"I will I…" she trailed off and simply nodded, pulling back and following her sisters out.
Olivia stepped forward, shutting the door and leaning against it with a small exhale.
Her bare feet made her significantly shorter than him, and he took a step forward so their bodies were flush and he could look down at her.
She let her hands fall to his hips, shooting him an encouraging smile.
"She said she didn't wanna call me dad yet," he said softly, resting his forehead against her's.
"She's lying," Liv said almost immediately, causing him to smile small, "she already slipped up when I was doing her hair."
He couldn't help but smile a little. "You know I'm not going anywhere, right?"
She nodded against him, slowly walking him backward towards the couch. When the back of his knees hit it, he sat back and looked up at her, hands falling into his lap.
"I love you, Elliot," she said, pulling her shirt over her head.
He bit his lip, watching with bated breath as she unhooked her bra and her plump breasts spilled out.
"I love you, too, Olivia. I can't tell you that enough."
Simply nodding, she shimmied out of her sleeping shorts, revealing nothing but bare skin.
"Oh?" He asked, sitting forward and cocking his head. "When did that happen?"
Leaning down, she pushed him back and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side before trailing her hands down his muscles chest and abs.
"After I saw you with our baby girl this morning," she admired, dropping her hands lower to the waist band of his joggers and tugging. "You know, I've seen you be daddy a lot of the years, El, but this was different."
Lifting his hips so she could easily slide his pants down, he reached his head up to peck several soft kisses to her lips, moaning when she moved to straddle him.
His hard cock sandwiches between his belly and her wet folds, and his head fell back at the sensation of her gyrating hips.
"I love being her dad, Liv," he promised, guiding her up and then back down; enveloping his cock with her pussy and grunting lightly when her blunt finger nails duh into his head.
"Baby." She whispered to him as he stretched her, his too dragging along her g-spot when she leaned her pelvis backward.
"And I love being your partner," he added, bouncing her slowly at first; allowing her to adjust to his size and helping to guide her hips until she was comfortable enough to take over.
Sitting up a little himself, he wrapped one arm around her waist and the other around the back of her neck and shoulders in effort to support her now furious bouncing.
Her cunt was fluttering furiously, and though the bump of his pelvis against her clit and the angle he was fucking her at, they both knew she needed more.
Moving the hand that was around her waist down between them, he circled her clit just enough to make her see stars.
Her jaw dropped in pleasure, though no sound escaped her, and his free hand moved to tangle in her hair, tugging her head towards his lips.
"I wanna hear you…" he commanded before pressing his mouth to here's and putting pressure on her clit that made her cry out.
"Elliot! Yes!"
"That's it baby," he nodded, breathing heavily as his balls tightened at the noises she was making. "Let me hear how good I make you feel."
"It's… more," she muttered, furiously moving her hips as he groaned loudly.
"Liv… I'm gonna cum," he muttered, just as she fell off the edge of her own cliff.
Her back arched as her stomach convulsed and her cunt clenched around him; her breasts shot forward, dark nipples at attention, which is took full advantage of. Taking one in his mouth, he sucked and nipped hungrily, prolonging her orgasm and triggering his own. Her
"Fuck Olivia…" he panted finally as they created down from their releases together.
"Fuck," she agreed, boneless against him; sweaty and panting.
"God damn, Benson… we should get rid of the kids more often." He said into her chest, trying to calm himself and his cock that was still hard inside of her.
She laughed into his stubble and pushed him back so that his head rested on the back of the couch and he could look up at her with the lazy, post sex grin she loved so much.
"I'm so in love with you," he whispered.
Cupping his cheek, she took in the sincerity of his features for a moment before leaning down to capture his lips in a sweet, sweet kiss.
"And I'm so in love with you El…" she whispered, beginning to move again