Work of Fiction

I stayed there another night which gave me a whole night alone to try to figure out what I was going to do when I got home.I knew what I wanted to do or rather what I had to do I just had to figure out how I was going to get what I wanted and not have everyone hate funny I thought to myself how everyone has an opinion on what you should do when its not their life that will be ruined.I think the worst part is that I was mad at my self.I should have gotten on birthcontrol before i even went away to school but I was never regular and my doctor said that when I did eventually want to have kids it would be difficult so I really wasnt worried about where it got you dumbass I thought to my self.

I woke up and looked at my phone 8:00 well Ill be leaving this hellhole and going I thought it wont be home for long I cant live there with him as I painfully put on my shirt and pants.I reached for the brush Kat had brought yesterday and brushed my hair i still hadnt had the nerve to take a good look at myself in the mirror and I decided today waasnt going to be the nurse came in and gave me my discharge papers and there I sat.I called her phone no anwser what the fuck I thought was she just going to leave me here like I didnt exist.

"Katie are you ready?"

"Yeah I thought you were going to leave me took you so long?

"I...I I was talking to Ryan willl you please come back to the hotel and talk to him Katie?"

"Really you were late to take your little sister home from the hospital because you were talking and feeling sorry for him?" "I dont have shit to say to him he made his choice when he walked out on me yesterday you cant put conditions on a realationship thats what he didand Im done."

"So you have made up your mind then and Im not just talking about you and Ryan do you realize that you are going to kill a part of yourself and once its done its done after everything you have ben through I just dont see how you can make a sound would have so many people behind you to help you why wont you just give it some time clear your head."

It was on the tip of my tounge to tell her what had happened what he had done not that it changed anything."im done talking Kat can you just please take me home I have things to do."

I slept most of the way home i awoke just as we were pulling into the driveway I got out of the car grabbed my things from the backseat and started walking up to the front door.

"Do you want me to stay with you for a little bit I can if you want me to"

"No I need to be by myself Ill call you tonight."

I put my key in the door turned the lock opened the door and shut it.I watched her drive away a part of me wanted her to sytay and tell me everything would be ok.I looked around and couldnt believe that so much could change in just a few days everything looked and seemed unreal to me.I went up to my room threw my bags in my room went down the hall and took a shower I sear I spent two hours in there when it was like mabe an hour tops I got out when the hot water ran out.I got out and put on pajamas and layed down on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

I awoke three hours later to a knock at my door.

"Katie can I come in?" Ryan said.

"What are you doing here why dont you leave I dont want to see you."I said realizing I hadnt been really alone with him scence he attacked me and that I was all of a sudden afraid.

"Im coming in I cant leave things the way they are we have to talk"

"Ryan please just leave me alone why do you have to make this so hard I should have never told you."

"Im not going anywhere I was wrong to walk out on you yesterday we are going to talk and its not going to be frombehind a door."

"Whatever if you want to come in than come in just keep your distance"

Ryan slowly opened the door and entered the room he looked like he hadnt slept in a week his clothes were wrinkled and his eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying.I wanted to reach out ,hug him ,make everything the way it was before that night.I think it was at that moment that I realized how much I really did love him and how much I didnt want to hurt him or mabe it was the fact that deep down I knew that I couldnt hurt him.

"Can we talk now?"he said "Ill even stand over here and put my hands behind my back he said with a laugh.

"Ryan I dont know what to say or what you want me to say."

"All I want you to say is that you will listen to me and hear me out can you do that?"

"Ill listen but I cant promise you that you will change my mind"

"Katie I love you I cant imagine my life without you well I wont imagine my life without you and I know if everything hadnt happened and everything wasnt so crazy that you wouldnt be feeling the way that you do about the baby."

"I love you to and despite the fact that I dont think ill ever forget what happened I dont blame you I just dont think I can handle all this and a baby on top of everything else i said as he sat down next to me he put his arms around me and I looked into his eyes he gently put his lips to mine and we just layed there in each others arms until we fell asleep.