I'm back, back in town
and everything has changed
I feel, feel let down
The faces stay the same
I see, see shadows
Of who we used to be
When I drive, drive so slow
Through this memory
xxxx
"You show up on my door step at eleven o'clock at night in the pouring rain after disappearing four years ago, with your face badly bruised and you expect me to believe that you're okay?" Lucas raised an eyebrow as he stared at the timid brunette before him. This version of Brooke scared him. In all the years he'd known Brooke Davis, he'd never seen her as shy or nervous. She was always outgoing and blunt and she always spoke her mind even if whatever was on her mind was rather inappropriate.
"I'm not okay," she whispered quietly as she shook her head, chocolate brown locks falling into her face.
"Well then why don't you tell me why you're not okay? Not saying anything makes people assume that you're okay, when clearly you are not."
"It's complicated," she shrugged. Lucas noticed that she avoided eye contact with him whenever she spoke. It was like she was afraid of him and that scared him more than anything.
"You can't show up on my doorstep after 4 years of silence and tell me that's it complicated Brooke. Who did this to you?" Lucas demanded, a fire lighting in his passionate blue eyes as he spoke.
"What makes you think that somebody did this to me? Maybe I did this to myself?" she suggested with a straight voice. She was a good liar, she'd always been but Lucas Scott was one of the few people that could see right through her lies.
"You didn't do this to yourself," he chuckled bitterly. "The handprints on your arm indicate that someone physically abused you. Please just let me in Brooke. Maybe I can help."
Self-consciously, Brooke slid her jacket over her body in attempt to shield the bruises that decorated her arms. "I was attacked," she mumbled as she drew in a sharp breath. "About a week ago."
"By who," Lucas croaked as images flashed in his mind of all the possibilities that could've happened.
"My very own mother," she said flatly, no emotion in her voice at all.
"Your mom did this to you?" he whispered quietly as he ran a hand along Brooke's banged up cheek ever so lightly.
Brooke shook her head. "No but she hired someone to do it for her. I have this theory that I was just disposable in her little plan to achieve fame. She saw my talent and she used me to build this extravagant and wealthy company then as soon as she had everything she wanted she decided that it was time to get rid of me. I was only a distraction and that's all I've ever been."
Lucas slammed his fist down onto the table harshly, causing Brooke to jump a little. "That bitch!"
"We are going to make her pay for her actions," Lucas whispered as calmly as he could muster but inside he felt a war begin to wage.
"No," Brooke shook her head confidently. "I'm done with her and I could care less if I ever see or speak to her again. She is dead to me."
"You can't let her get away with this Brooke," Lucas insisted, harshness plaguing his voice insistently. "I won't let her be responsible for breaking you."
"I was broken long before she attacked me," Brooke admitted as she let out a deep sigh. "This just made me realize that I have nothing left to live for."
"Nothing left to live for?" Lucas blinked with confusion. How could she believe that she had nothing left to live for? "Brooke you have everything left to live for. You need to prove to Victoria that she cannot take your passion or your talent away no matter how hard she tries. She may have taken the company but she didn't take your talent Brooke."
"I am nothing without that company Lucas and I have nothing!" Brooke screamed heatedly as she released every bottled up emotion inside of her, the emotions that she'd been hiding behind her strong façade ever since the attack. "That company was my life and it was what I lived my life for. It is what I strived to become and everything that I could've hoped for and she tore it down. Now I have nothing left." Her breakdown was followed by a multitude of tears, flowing freely down her soft cheeks.
"Brooke," Lucas whispered serenely, in attempt to buffer the situation that was playing out before him. "What about the people you left behind in Tree Hill? These are the people that love you, isn't it worth living your life for them?"
"I don't know anyone anymore Lucas. I'm not the same girl that I was 4 years ago. That girl is gone Lucas and I don't think she's coming back."
"Come here," Lucas smiled lightly as he placed his arms around the broken brunette. "I'm going to show you the amazing impact that you've had on everyone and I'm going to prove to you that carrying on is the answer."
Brooke just nodded her head as she clung to Lucas tightly, closing her eyes and taking everything in. "Can I stay here for awhile?" she finally mustered up the courage to ask the question that had been haunting her since she showed up on his doorstep a mere hour ago.
"Of course you can. It's good to have you back Brooke Davis," Lucas grinned as he released the brunette. And he meant every word. He was going to finally do the one thing that he had failed to do so many years ago. He was going to save her.
When we were only kids
And we were best of friends
And we hoped for the best
And let go of the rest
I heard, heard myself
Say things I'd take back
If I could, could retell
And make these stories last
I see, see shadows
Of who we'll always be
And I drive, drive these roads
That made our memories
xxxx
"Hey."
Her voice was stone cold, possessing no sign of emotion or life. She sounded empty. Just like her marriage. Or rather, ex-marriage.
"Haley," he whispered and the desperation is reflected in his tone. It's pathetic really.
"Nathan," she nodded her head curtly. "Where is…"
"MOM!" a little voice boomed and she looks up to see her 4 year old son running at her full tilt, his messy blonde hair flying behind him.
"Jimmy-Jam," she grinned as she scooped the little boy up in her arms. "How was your weekend with your dad?"
"It was fun! We went to the bobcats game and he got my jersey signed by some of the players!" the little boy gushed excitedly, his blue eyes filling with laughter and passion. She wished that she could feel as alive and as energetic as her son but considering the circumstances she wasn't sure if she'd ever feel that way again.
"Well, we'd better get going babe," Haley sighed as she set her son back down on the ground gently and offered Nathan a small but yet forced smile. "Say goodbye to your father."
"Bye daddy," the little boy whispered as Nathan wrapped his large arms around the boy's small frame.
"Goodbye Jamie," he whispered quietly. Goodbye was always the hardest part and every time his wife and son departed, goodbye only grew harder to say.
"We will see you next weekend," Haley stated plainly before turning on her heel, her sons hand tightly interlocked with her own, and heading towards her car.
"Here you go," Haley smiled as she handed her son a plate of macaroni and cheese. "I made your favorite."
"Thanks momma," the boy smiled gratefully as he dug his fork into his plate and began shoveling food into his mouth.
"Where are your manners young man?" Haley raised her eyebrows and shot her son a questioning look. "I know that your father allows you to eat like a caveman but I don't condone those kinds of table manners."
"Right," Jamie smiled innocently as he took a much smaller bite of food and chewed with his mouth closed.
RING RING
"Ugh," Haley groaned as the phone rang. She rubbed her temple tiredly before glancing at the caller ID and debating on whether or not to answer. LUCAS SCOTT flashed across the screen and her brow furrowed in confusion. She hadn't spoken to Lucas in probably two weeks or so and she found it odd that he'd be calling, especially when he knew that she ate lunch promptly at 12 o'clock every day. He usually wouldn't call until after he knew that she wasn't eating.
"Hello," she smiled into the phone as she juggled the receiver in between the crook of her neck with her shoulder and cheek.
"Haley. I need you to come over here right now." Haley didn't miss the prominence in Lucas's voice or the urgency of his tone.
"Well… I just picked up Jamie from Nathan's and I was going to grade some papers… can't it wait?"
"No, Haley. Please just come," Lucas begged and Haley felt bad because she hadn't spoken to Lucas in weeks and it was mostly her fault because she'd been busy.
"Fine," she surrendered as she looked over and noticed that Jamie was already finished eating. "I will call Nathan and see if he can watch Jamie for awhile."
"Thank you."
"No problem," she answered flatly before hanging up the phone. She couldn't help but wonder what was going on over at Lucas's.
She quickly dialed the familiar number and listened to the ringing sound on the other end. She was ready to give up when finally she heard his phone click on. "Yeah?"
"Nathan, are you busy right now?"
"Depends," he chuckled lightly but of course he wasn't busy. His days were filled with silence and dullness.
"Lucas is having an emergency of some sort and he needs me like ASAP so can you please watch Jamie while I go to his house?"
"Sure," Nathan agreed as he twirled the telephone cord around his finger absentmindedly. "You know that I love spending time with Jamie whenever I can."
"We will be there in 5," Haley said plainly before hanging up and gathering her keys and purse from the counter. "Come on Jimmy-Jam, you're going back to dad's house."
The four year scrunched his face up in perplexity. He knew the routine and he'd just left his dad's house so why he was returning was a mystery to him. "But I was just there…"
"I know but Uncle Lucas needs me and I figured that while I was visiting Uncle Lucas, you could spend more time with your father," Haley suggested with a shrug as she slipped her flats on and grabbed Jamie's shoes for him.
"Okay!" the little boy clapped his hands together excitedly. "I never get sick of playing video games."
Haley rolled her eyes as she ushered her son out the door and locked it behind them. She watched as her son bounced towards the car and she felt a deep frown spread across her face. It shouldn't be like this. She shouldn't be driving to Nathan's every weekend to drop her son off, they should be a family. She quickly shook it off. This isn't your fault, she reminded herself as she walked towards her car. It wasn't her fault that her marriage was over. She wasn't the one that chose alcohol as an escape route for her pain.
Everything has changed
Faces stay the same
Everything has changed
Faces stay the same
xxxx
10 minutes later, her sleek black car was pulling up outside of Lucas Scott's residence. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she locked the doors and jogged up the front steps. She didn't even bother knocking, she just threw the door open and slipped her shoes off.
"Hello?" her voice drifted throughout the house and she heard hushed voices coming from the kitchen. What the hell…
"Hey Luke," she offered the blonde a smile as she entered the kitchen. "Brooke," she nodded her head towards the brunette and turned back to Lucas. "So what did you… wait a second BROOKE?" her eyes nearly came out of their sockets as her eyes refocused on the brunette that had left them 4 years ago.
"Hey," she chuckled nervously as Haley rushed over and wrapped her arms around the woman that she had considered one of her very best friends, despite the lack of contact over the last 4 years.
"Brooke, take the sunglasses off," Lucas warned, his voice edgy and Haley could sense some obvious tension.
"Fine…" the brunette breathed out and Haley smiled as she could picture Brooke rolling her eyes underneath the oversized glasses. She lifted her hands and slid the glasses off of her eyes and up on top of her head.
A large array of purple and yellow bruises adorned her usually unblemished and perfect face, followed by some slight swelling above her left eye, and a small but yet unmistakably deep cut coated the swelling.
"Brooke…"
"I was attacked," the brunette spoke ruthlessly, the hate and disparity clearly evident in her voice. "By my own mother."
"Oh, honey," Haley mumbled as she looked at Lucas helplessly and wrapped her arms around the brunette's petite frame. "Why didn't you come to us sooner?"
"I didn't want to burden you guys with my problems…"
"We would've helped you Brooke. There is no way that your mom attacking you is a burden to us Brooke," Haley whispered comfortingly. "God, how could she do this to you?" A tear started to slip from her soft brown eyes and she found herself reaching up to wipe the sultry liquid away.
"She cares about no one but herself and I needed to get away from New York because I was afraid of ending up like her," Brooke spoke quietly as her voice burned with anger.
"Brooke, you will never end up like her!" Lucas snapped, his voice sounding harsher than he'd intended.
"That's what I thought but I've already become her. I'm miserable, alone, and self-destructive."
The hopelessness in her voice made both Haley and Lucas exchange looks of concern. "Brooke…" Haley spoke as she struggled to find the right words.
"I just want to be alone for a while okay?" the brunette insisted as she stood up and headed towards the door. "Please?"
Haley looked at Lucas who nodded. "But please don't go far."
"Just into the backyard," she replied solemnly before slipping out the door.
"Oh. My. God," Haley groaned as she covered her mouth with her hand. She was having a difficult time comprehending this whole situation. "When did she show up here?"
"Last night," Lucas shrugged. "She stayed in the guest room and we haven't spoken much since he arrived. She's just so distant and unlike herself."
"What about Victoria? Did Brooke turn her in?"
"No. She gave the rights to her company to Victoria and just left. She's scaring me Haley. She said that her life wasn't worth living anymore…"
A few tears started to slip from Haley's eyes yet again. "What happened to her? God, she was so full of life and happiness and now she's bitter and angry and mad at the world… I mean yes she has every right to be after what happened but it just scares me that's all."
"It scares me to Haley," Lucas whispered as she wrapped his best friend in a tight hug. "But we've got to do everything that we can to show her the importance of her life and the impact that it has had on others."
"Of course," Haley nodded her head in agreement. "But I don't think we should do it alone."
"How do you mean?" Lucas scrunched his brow in confusion. He knew that Nathan had been horribly upset with Brooke for leaving. He'd never forgiven her for causing his family so much pain. She'd left Jamie without a godmother and she never even bothered to call, visit, or send him a freaking birthday card. And she'd left a pregnant Haley behind, a pregnant Haley who'd been devastated by Brooke's disappearance.
"Peyton."
"Peyton?" he turned to look at Haley as if she were out of her freaking mind. "I haven't seen Peyton since High School…"
"But I've kept in contact with her," Haley responded as she reached for her phone and scrolled through the contact list. "It's not really good contact but we exchange cards on important holidays and we call one another every so often and I even visited her once in LA a few years back…"
"I guess I kept in contact with her because I was afraid of losing her like I'd lost Brooke…" Haley trailed on as she noticed the skeptical look that Lucas was giving her.
"And what makes you think that Peyton can help? She and Brooke haven't spoken to each other rationally since the break up…"
"Because even though she made some big mistakes in the past, she loves Brooke and she knows Brooke better than any of us."
"Nobody knows Brooke anymore," Lucas whispered sadly as he glanced out the window and saw Brooke sitting on the sand just behind the backyard, staring out at the ocean helplessly.
"Why don't you call Peyton while I talk to her?" Haley suggested as he gaze followed Lucas's out the window. "Please?"
He didn't want to talk to Peyton in the least bit but Haley was right, she did know Brooke better than anyone and she had a special bond with Brooke that neither of them had. "Alright," he surrendered as he grabbed Haley's phone. She sent him a small smile and before he knew it she was slipping out the backdoor too.
Peyton Sawyer. His hands trembled with nervousness as he stopped scrolling once he reached the number he was looking for. He wasn't nervous because he felt anything for Peyton. He was nervous because he hadn't spoken to her in over 4 years and he didn't know what to expect. What if she too was not the same Peyton he'd known in High School?
Finally, his shaky hands managed to press the call button and before he knew it the familiar sound of a phone ringing assaulted his eardrums.
"Hello?"
She still sounded the same. He could recall that Peyton had left Tree Hill 4 years ago to mend her broken heart as well. After being rejected by none other than himself and shunned by her best friend, it was clear that Peyton felt there was nothing left for her in Tree Hill and so she left for LA, the city that was full of opportunities and excitement. A job working as an intern for Sire Records had shown up and surprising enough after being one of the five final applicants, Peyton had gotten the job. And that was the beginning of her new life, the start of the life she lived today.
"Hey Peyton. It's me, Lucas," he spoke awkwardly, his eyes still casting a glance outside where Haley and Brooke were.
"Lucas? Wow, it's been a long time hasn't it?"
"Yeah, it's been four years. So how are you doing Peyt?"
"Fine," she answered flatly. "I mean it could be worse right?"
"So why did you call? Not to sound rude or anything but obviously there is a reason behind your random phone call after four years of silence…"
"Don't blame me for those four years of silence Peyton when you caused them just as much as I did," Lucas growled, annoyed. "I didn't call to fight. It's about Brooke…"
And we were only kids
And we were best of friends
And we hoped for the best
And let go of the rest
Shadows and regrets
We let go of the rest
Shadows and Regrets
We let go of the rest
xxxx
The brilliant blue waves rolled in, crashing hard against the sandy shore. The beach was deserted but where Lucas lived it usually was. The sky was a light shade of gray, plagued with slightly darkened clouds, which hid the sun. The setting before her depicted her mood perfectly. That emptiness, that stillness, that feeling that a storm was brewing in, they all represented her life at this point in time. The waves thrashed against the shore in perfect rhythm. With her feet curled up to her chest, she continued to stare, without emotion, at the dark and gloomy setting surrounding her. She felt like she was lost in an endless sea, full of tumultuous twists and turns, betrayals and lies, there was no way out. The world was broken and someone along the way in her fight to the top, she'd lost herself. The girl that had lived in this town four years ago, the girl that had once walked this very beach five years ago with a brilliant smile etched across her face, was gone. She become a shell of the person she'd least wanted to become. She was slowly becoming her mother and as her life derailed she wasn't sure that there was any way she could stop it. The genetics were too powerful.
"Hey stranger."
The brunette quickly snapped out of her nightmare and turned slowly, offering the brunette a weak smile.
"Can I sit?" Haley motioned towards the spot beside Brooke.
Brooke patted the sand beside her and nodded. "I don't wanna talk about it Haley."
"I wasn't going to ask. Lucas did enough explaining and when you're ready to give me all the details, I'll be here to listen."
"Thank you," Brooke nodded her head appreciatively. Haley was always so understanding and in every situation she looked for the best.
"I'm glad your back. I have to admit, I'd kinda lost my faith in you ever returning…"
"Did everyone really doubt me that much?" the fashionista asked as she turned towards the young mother.
"I'm sorry Brooke…"
"I'm sick of apologies," the brunette mumbled in response as she averted her eyes away from Haley and refocused them back on the tumbling ocean.
"So how are Nate and Jamie?" Brooke asked, succumbing to the overwhelming silence that loomed around them.
"Jamie is getting so big and he definitely got my smarts and his dad's love of basketball. He always asks about his Aunt Brooke and why he's never met her..." Haley quickly stopped when she saw Brooke's face fell at the last sentence. "Sorry, I shouldn't have…"
"No, it's okay," Brooke insisted. "Like I said, I'm sick of apologies," she threw the last part in bitterly.
"And Jamie adores his Uncle Lucas, he kind of looks like Luke, ironically enough and he loves mac and cheese like his mom," Haley laughed, her eyes crinkling with happiness for the first time in a long time.
"What about Nate? How is he?" Brooke asked as she picked at the loose seems from the fashionable rips in her designer jeans.
"I don't know. I don't talk to him much anymore, except for issues regarding Jamie," she shrugged poignantly. "Luke would probably be the one to answer that for you."
"What do you mean you don't talk to him anymore?" the brunette's hazel eyes flickered with curiousity and perplexity.
"Nathan and I are divorced. We have been for almost a year now," she answered sadly, looking down at her hands as she spoke, her gaze landed on her bare ring finger and she felt a tear slip from her eye. She quickly brushed it from her cheek and smiled.
"Oh, Haley, I'm so sorry," Brooke muttered apologetically and she instantly felt bad for lashing out at Haley when she was dealing with her own pain, pain that had been clearly masked and was starting to bubble at the surface. "I really thought you and Nate would've been together forever. As soon as she said those words, she mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"
"I know you didn't," Haley smiled lightly. "Sometimes love just isn't enough to last forever."
"Well, at least you've had a date in the last five years," Brooke grumbled sarcastically, followed by a bitter chuckle. "My love life has been non-existent since Lucas."
"You never let him go did you?" Haley questioned, her eyes trained on the vulnerable brunette that was basically ripping her heart out.
"Nope," Brooke shook her head. "God knows, I've tried but I can't…" she croaked through salty tears. "It's like he's burned in the back of my mind and I've tried to get over him and move on for both my sake and for his sake but I just can't bring myself to do it…"
"Well, Luke never got over you either."
Brooke turned to Haley and shook her head. "I didn't come here looking for love okay? I came here for redemption, I came here because life became too much and I did the one thing I do best, run away. And strangely enough, this is where my feet took me okay?"
"Fine," Haley put her hands up in the air in mock surrender. Looking at this version of Brooke, Haley understood that playing matchmaker would be the wrong thing to do. Brooke came first and making sure that Brooke was okay physically and mentally was her first priority. Finding love would just have to wait.
"What about Brooke?"
"She's here in Tree Hill."
"What?" Peyton screeched into the phone, causing Lucas to momentarily retract the device from his ear. "I thought she left Tree Hill for good. Haley said she hasn't seen or heard from Brooke since she left following graduation…"
"She did but now she's back Peyton and its bad, really bad…"
"Is she okay Lucas? What happened? Please tell me she's okay," Peyton started throwing questions at him in a rapid flow.
"She's not okay…"
"What do you mean she's not okay? Is she like physically hurt Luke?" Peyton demanded, her voice hardening at the mention of Brooke not being okay.
"Yes, but the emotional damage is a million times worse…" Lucas responded meekly. "This version of her is literally scary Peyton and I don't know what to do." He rubbed his face tiredly with his free hand as the words came flowing out.
"What happened?" the blonde demanded with a fierceness in her voice that told Lucas she was dead serious about this.
"She was attacked..." Lucas started, his voice croaking as he tried to retell the story that had been haunting him last night. "By Victoria."
Silence.
"She was what?" the blondes outburst was loud and firm, mixed with shock and disbelief.
"Attacked by her mother…"
"I'm not retarded Lucas but how? Why? I don't get it. It mean yes Victoria was a horrible mother but I don't understand how even she could do something that cruel to the most amazing person that has ever walked this earth…"
"I don't either Peyton but she is fragile right now and she needs my help and Haley's help but she also needs yours."
"I'm already on it Lucas," Peyton answered briskly as she began typing away on her laptop in search of the quickest flight to Tree Hill. "I can be there by 8 O'clock tomorrow morning."
"Okay, I'll be at the airport to pick you up Peyt and thank you so much for coming. It's gonna mean a lot to Brooke. But how long are you planning on staying?"
"Well considering I just quit my job at Sire a week ago and am currently unemployed, hopefully awhile," she answered as a smile spread across her face. "And thank you Luke for calling, it means so much to me."
"Not a problem Peyton, I'll see you tomorrow morning, eight o'clock and don't be afraid to call if there is a delay in your flight."
"I won't be. Goodbye Lucas," she whispered into the phone before hanging up and darting out of the room to pack her bags. She was going home to save her best friend. She'd hurt Brooke in the past and god knows she doesn't deserve another chance but she's praying to god that she'll get one because life without Brooke Davis has already become too unbearable.
AN: Sorry for the wait but life's a bitch and I've had very little time to update this. Hopefully, people will continue to read regardless and I have some good stuff in store for next chapter. I want to give a better glimpse at Naley's marriage. Perhaps some flashbacks about the demise of their marriage will be in store? Also Peyton will be arriving and Julian is gonna stir things up pretty soon. If anyone wants me to add Rachel into the story just let me know and also tell me who'd you'd like her to end up with. Mouth, Cooper (assuming he and Rachel reunited after their tragic almost-death), and Owen are a few suggestions. Please review, please they will hopefully speed up the updating process!