Thank you all for the reviews, they make my day! We'll see a softer side of Jesse here, and some St Berry action. Here's the next chapter… please enjoy. :)
Jesse sat at his aunt's house, watching a pointless movie with Quinn. It was some chick flick that Quinn had told him was the best girl movie of all time. He didn't know how he'd been roped in to watch it, but he found himself sat on the Fabray's sofa watching Lindsey Lohan grow bitchier over the course of the film.
"So what's this film called again?" Jesse asked his cousin.
"I've told you before Jesse, Mean Girls." Quinn replied, annoyed that he was interrupting.
"Well, I've never heard of it." Jesse muttered.
"That's because you're an idiot." Quinn rolled her eyes. "Everybody has heard of this film."
"Well, I'm pretty sure I haven't. The only person who I would have watched it with is Rachel, and she likes musicals more." Jesse kept his eyes fixed on the TV, ignoring how he felt talking about Rachel.
"Oh, well if you haven't watched it with Rachel Berry then it can't be any good at all." Quinn said sarcastically. "I don't even get why you're going after her again."
Jesse turned his head to look at Quinn. She could tell she'd touched a nerve. His face was serious, his eyes looked almost pained. They looked at each other for a moment before Jesse answered her.
"Because I made a mistake, Quinn." Jesse said with a sigh. "Because I was a selfish idiot who cared more about a national title than the girl I loved, contrary to what I promised her. Because I want to be happy again, and I want things to be right again. Because I hurt her, and I want to show her how sorry I am. Because I love her, and I can't stand watching her be with Finn, when it's me she should be with."
Quinn just stared at her cousin, dumbstruck. A St James with feelings wasn't what she was used to seeing. Quinn spent most of her time annoying her cousin, and Jesse was the best at annoying her, but she did care about him. In those few sentences Jesse had displayed more emotion than she'd ever seen before, and she could tell he meant what he said. He may have been a cocky jerk about the 'mission' they were on, but he was hiding a lot of real feelings behind his swagger, and Quinn realised this now.
"Well, they're good enough reasons I suppose." Quinn said quietly, raising an eyebrow at her cousin.
Jesse nodded and flashed her a quick smile.
"I've grown up a lot you know." He told her. "When I hurt her, and consequently myself, it forced me to work out what I wanted. Once I had what I thought I'd wanted, it left me with nothing else, no long-term good. If I'd gone of to UCLA who knows what I would have done, but I take the fact that I have an opportunity to fix what went wrong as big enough motivation to start making things better."
Quinn nodded. She knew how he felt. They'd both fallen in love, made a mistake and were now feeling the painful consequences. Their mistakes combined had pushed their loved ones into each other's arms, messing things up for both her and Jesse. She could sympathise with him completely.
"Well, I hope it works out for you Jess." She answered, using the childhood nickname that only his family had ever been allowed to call him.
"Thank you Quinny." Jesse smiled at his cousin. "This is one of the few nice family moments we've had, isn't it."
"Don't get used to it St Lames." Quinn replied, throwing a cushion at him.
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Rachel and Jesse had been practising their duet for the best part of three hours when Jesse called a stop to the proceedings
"Rachel, shall we stop now?" He asked. "We've been working for ages."
"Practise makes perfect Jesse." Rachel replied, checking over the notes she'd made as an evaluation of their rehearsal.
"We have ages until we perform. Three hours is enough work for now." Jesse told her, standing up to stretch his legs.
They were at Rachel's house, her dads being out of town for a wedding. She knew they wouldn't like the fact that she was here with Jesse, the guy who had broken her heart, but she couldn't really do anything about it. She got up and went out into the hallway.
"Would you like a drink or something?" She asked, playing the perfect host, as he followed her to the kitchen.
"Sure." Jesse said, smiling. He entered the kitchen, thinking back to the many times he'd been here before.
Rachel handed him a drink, and they stood there in an awkward silence, each caught up in memories. There was a tension to the air, one that Rachel tried hard to ignore. In the end, Jesse broke the silence.
"I think we should talk about the giant elephant in the room." He said, receiving a panicked look from Rachel, making him want to laugh but the atmosphere was to tense.
"I-I don't know what you mean." Rachel stammered, unusual for someone usually so confident and well spoken.
"Don't play dumb with me Rachel." Jesse replied. "Never, ever make yourself look more stupid than you are, never play yourself down." He told her.
"You're not really in a position to lecture me on how to make yourself look." Rachel said sharply, but only receiving a defiant stare from Jesse.
"I speak from experience Rachel. And I still think we should talk about this, make our working relationship less awkward." He contoured.
"Well, you're the one who has talking and explaining to do, so go ahead." Rachel glared at him. "My side of it is pretty simple. You hurt me even though you knew the consequences. The end, your turn."
If Jesse was surprised by her bluntness, he didn't show it. He just nodded.
"I was stupid. I put myself, and winning above you, and I shouldn't have. I hurt you, and I embarrassed you, and I'm sorry. What I did was wrong, and it is inexcusable, and I understand that I've probably ruined things between us, and although I do regret it, in a way I don't."
He paused to try and work out Rachel's expression, but all he could see was her show face.
"I think it was best that we came to an end then, because all the stuff with Vocal Adrenaline and Shelby came into the open, and you know now about what I can be truthful about. But I am sorry for the fact that I ruined what we had, because if I'm completely honest, I still think that we're meant to be."
Rachel was taken aback. She'd wanted Jesse to be honest, but him saying things like that confused her. She had been so sure she and Finn were meant to be, but she remembered something her dads had told her.
If you love two people, always pick the second, because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have feelings for the second.
Finn had been the first guy she'd ever loved, and although she'd liked Noah, she hadn't felt strongly for him. But then, after her and Finn had broken up, Jesse had come along. And she'd fallen for him. Would she still be with Jesse if the egging incident never happened? But would she have ever been with Jesse if Finn hadn't broken up with her first? She didn't know, but she knew she'd had proper feelings for two boys and that she couldn't deny that Jesse was one of them.
"Jesse, I- I don't know what to say." She told him truthfully. Her feelings were all mixed around, confusing her, bringing back past troubles and past joys.
"Rachel." Jesse said, stepping forward slightly. "Rachel, look and me and tell me you don't have feelings for me." He cupped her check with his hand, and although she flinched she didn't move away.
"Jesse please. Jesse…" Rachel whimpered. The touch of his hand on her face was sending shocks through her, but she stayed where she was.
"Tell me Rachel." Jesse said quietly, trying to make her look into his eyes. "Look at me and tell me you don't have feelings for me."
Rachel looked up, her brown eyes meeting with his green. She shivered under Jesse's touch, and took a shaky breath, wondering how the atmosphere had got so serious.
"I can't say that." Rachel said eventually, looking down as she did so. She heard Jesse's intake of breath and looked up, needing to gauge his reaction.
Everything seemed to go into slow motion for Rachel. She saw Jesse, staring wide-eyed at her, and she felt his hand slither round the side of her head. She watches as his face got closer, and she stood on tiptoe to try to get closer. But she was pulled out of her slow motion when his lips touched hers.
His kiss was soft and sweet, hesitant. When he felt no resistant he kissed harder, and felt reassured when she began to kiss him back. She wrapped her arms around his neck, encouraging him, but he then felt her hands against his chest, pushing him away. He broke the kiss.
"What?" Jesse murmured, their foreheads still together.
"I can't." Rachel said, her voice coming out raspy from her swollen lips.
"Why?" Jesse asked, pressing his lips to hers again.
"Finn…" Rachel replied, allowing him a few more kisses. "I'm with Finn now." Rachel said louder, pushing him away. "You lost your chance Jesse."
"Let me redeem myself." Jesse suggested, going in for more kisses.
Rachel let him. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but it felt so right. She knew Finn would be pissed, but right now all she could think about was holding herself as close to Jesse as possible. She knew her actions were so, so wrong- but right now, she couldn't think about the consequences. Not when she wanted Jesse so much.
That was quite difficult to write, I wanted it to be as good as possible. I changed the first part completely because it was wrong, rather than going straight into St Berry I wanted to see Jesse actually feeling something, so I thought a heart to heart with Quinn might do him some good, show us this isn't just a matter of pride. Please review and tell me what you think! Next chapter up soon- ish, it's the one I've been looking forward to writting! :)