Ok so telling Jasper that our plan was based off cartoon plots didn't go too well.

"Cartoons? Why don't you just grab a monkey and ask him to write this story huh?" Jasper yelledajflkdsa fnfsda; vcoisafsdhnfjewnf;dsahfishfs;nafdsu

"Ok I didn't mean literally." I knew this wasn't going to go well.

"Jasper it's all we have now so just deal." I said rubbing my temples yet again. By now you're probably on the edges of your seats yelling at the screen " What, what are they going to have to do!" Well readers you asked.

~When Jas was in the shower~

"What good jobs are there Bella? Better than that I hope. Please it's not right." Edward pleaded, but to no avail. I had made up my mind. Besides I would never want to be a whale blubber gutter or a seal speaker, not until hell freezes over.

"Come on Bells it's just bizarre!" Jacob ranted pacing back and forth.

"Well guys all of these ads say Female workers only. And Jas doesn't have any pants." I sighed.

"Ok." They both sighed and looked at me seriously. Then they bust out laughing.

"I'm sorry Bella but PHP Ninja (sadly it's a real job, go ahead look it up)? HHAHAHAHAHHA!" They rolled on the floor and gasped for air. And now let me guess your thinking "Da Hell?" Well a PHP Ninja is a programmer by day and a security guard by night. I only have to do it for a week, not that it makes it any better.

Also why is this job position open? Well let me read you the description.

"Looking for Female with some computer skills and not scared of much. Since this job gets well, you'll find out." And that was it. There was an address, but what they want with a programmer/night guard escapes me. And I'll find out? (GULP)

~In the front of Frozen Monkey Balls Computers ( Our computers are so cool they can freeze the balls off a brass monkey)

I stood there staring at the sign. I mean what else was there to do? Run back to the hotel screaming? Tempting but no. I took in a good deep breath and walked through the doors. A small man balding in the center of his head looked at me and smiled. Like I was the one person they couldn't fit on a life boat on the Titanic. He rushed over and grabbed my hand shaking it violently.

"You must be Bella Swan. Am I right?" He said between shakes.

"Yea, uh I'm here for my job interview I guess."

"Oh there's no need for that." He said still smiling creepily at me.

"Uh why? And when do I start?" I stuttered wondering when he's gonna let go of my hand.

"No reason, and you start now, bye!" He said taking off like a fighter jet off a runway out the door, leaving me there with the most bizarre expression on my face and an old lady with dreadlocks (?) and a cat in her purse standing at the register looking at me expectantly. I will tell you now, there are some freaky ass people in this town, what ever town this is.

I blinked rapidly wondering why he wanted to get out of here like a bat out of hell. Walking over to the counter I tried to remember how to work a cash register. The lady smiled at me and put a paint ball gun on the counter.

"Um excuse me but why do you need a paint ball gun? Won't the paint freeze in midair?"

"Oh it's for when them damned kids go in my yard and try to take my yard ornaments and hid them in that bears den again." She said smiling a toothy grin at me. I started blinking again. Where the hell am I? Mommy… "You know once them kids get hit by it once they never come back." She continued smiling like she just said she would give them cookies.

"Ok." I gulped and scanned the paintball gun. Just as I was going to tell her how much it was a big scary guy with tattoos came in and eyed me evilly.

"Give me all the money in the register!" He barked and shoved a bag to me. No wonder people scattered like flies from this job! I grabbed the bag shakily and began filling it up.

"Boy are you trying to take this nice lady's money from that there register?" The Old lady piped up.

"Yea granny whats it to you?" He snarled.

"Didn't your momma teach you better you hooligan! Take this!" And right before my eyes the old lady with dreads began beating this dude mercilessly. She whacked him so hard one of his teeth flew into the tip jar! Just as she was about to get him again with her purse, her cat jumped out and went for his face.

"That's it! Get 'im fluffy!" She yelled like she was at a football game. My jaw dropped as the dude picked up what was left of his pride and ran out the door into the snow. Crying. Just as it couldn't get any better the lady turned back around and asked me ," So how much is it dear?" Stunned I threw my hands up and said," Take it please. You just saved my life and newly acquired job."

"Why thank you dear, come along fluffy." She said all old lady like. The cat meowed happily and trotted after her out the door.

"Wait! What city am I in?" I yelled after her.

"Well sugar don't go looking it up on no map cause you won't find it." She said over her shoulder," But Welcome to Tittywaken." She said smirking.

Perfect. I'm in a town you can't find on a map and of all things it's called Tittywaken. The guys are never gonna get over this.

As soon as I couldn't see the lady anymore she stopped and made an A and a C in the air and a flash of light consumed her. Where the old lady once was Alice now stood with her faithful pet Aro.

"Haha I work in mysterious ways." She said laughing lightly. Beside her Aro shriveled up like a prune in the cold air.

"Aww I'm sorry baby." She cooed and made another A and C in the air turning her shivering alligator into a bright eyed husky. "Better baby?" She cooed again in baby talk. Wow cat lady at heart. She looked to the sky and sighed as Aro trotted off to chase a snowshoe hare.

"It's only a matter of time Bella Swan. Only a matter of time."

I trudged back to the hotel stomping my feet as I went. Worst. Day. Ever. When I got to the hotel door I knocked our secret knock (not my idea) and recited our password (not my idea either). After a few seconds I was greeted by Edward in his jimmies. Ah sigh. I walked about two steps into the room and threw my jacket and backpack down.

"Well gang welcome to Tittywaken." I stated. I the room where the beds were I heard a clatter like someone fell over a bag of some sort and another bag like someone just hit the wall followed by hysterical laughter. Ah it's good to be home. I walked into the bed room and surveyed the damage.

Well a new problem arose when I realized some one spilled water on my bed in their fit of laughter. Here's the layout, I would sleep on this bed, Jacob was on the floor and Jasper and Edward would share a bed. So here's a question, where am I going to sleep now?

~30 minutes later~

Another shiver fought its way up my spine and I blushed even darker. Edward lay very close to me and this time he wasn't snoring. He was HOT. He rolled my way and put his arm over me. Oh My God. We must have looked like a married couple to the average idiot. I reached out and touched his face lovingly as he slowly breathed in and out. I leaned in to kiss him and-

SNORE!

I jumped back and almost fell off the bed. Ok I guess that was coming since I was being a little perverted trying to kiss someone while they were sleeping.

"Pervert." I heard from the other side of the bed. I turned back towards Edward to find him staring at me and smirking.

"I felt and saw everything." He said smiling softer. My jaw dropped and I blushed darker than a tomato.

"All you had to do was ask." He said leaning over towards me and our lips tou-

SNORE!

We jumped back from each other yet again as Jacob let another snore lose. Edward grabbed a pillow and threw it at Jacob's head blocking out the snoring. He then leaned over and pressed his warm lips to mine. Our lips moved together passionately and I parted my lips a little allowing our tongues to dance together. Edward then slid his hand up my shirt to find my girls growing hotter by the minute. Like my face. I started to panic knowing what he was getting at. I had no idea what to do next. You know, all those romance books I read when I was 12 should have prepared me for this. I broke our kiss and whispered in a soft voice.

"Stop, you know we can't. Jasper and Jacob will hear."

The lights flipped on.

"Damn straight, and in more ways than one. You should really wash your brain out with soap." Jasper whispered leaning on his elbow staring at us expectantly. "Oh please do continue, don't mind me." His smile grew wider by the second.

"Good night Jasper." Edward sighed and flipped the lights off.

"Smoochy, smoochy." Jasper cooed from the darkness.

"Not another word Jasper." Edward growled flipping on his side away from me.

"Smoochy, bow chika wow, wow."

"Jasper I have pillows and I'm not afraid to use them." Edward growled.

"Oh yea, OH YEA." Jasper yelled.

"That's it pretty boy your getting it now!" Edward yelled and out of now where the pillows began to fly. All of a sudden Jasper and Edward were jumping around the room throwing pillows back and forth. In his excitement Jasper unfolded his wings tipping over a lamp, which tipped over his glass of water, which spilled on the electrical plug shorting out the electricity in the whole hotel.

"JASPERRR!" Edward yelled in the darkness.

"Don't you mean ALVINNNN!" Jasper yelled back.

SNORE!

A/N

Haha another chapter down! Now I have a set date I would like to get my chapters in and let me tell you they will all be on time. Tune into your computers each Sunday for a new chapter (: Until next Sunday!

-Slinky762