My eyes fluttered open to find the light of the sun tearing it's way through the curtains and into the room. On one side of me Edward was lying sleepily with his hand over his eyes and breathing in and out evenly. On the floor Jacob was snoring yet again and Jasper was knocked out on the floor drooling onto the carpet.

Well Bella Swan, here's another day, let's get up and face it. I got up out of bed and put clothes on, tripping on my pants when I did so. Pants… oh yea I have to go get Jasper some pants. Since my job is hazardous and people don't stick around for that long, they pay me after each day I work. Who knows when a person would up and leave that job.

If I didn't need this job so badly I would have up and left the minute that bald dude locked eyes with me. I walked out of the hotel room and walked towards the front desk. I walked in to see two hung over hotel employees. Heh go figure. I walked past the front desk and out the door when Rose noticed me and recognized my face.

"EMMETT!" She shrieked.

"I'm right here Rose, what?" He sighed rubbing his temples in a Bella Swan fashion.

"That girl she is who jumped me the other night!" Rose said eyeing me like I was going to jump her again. Tempting, but I'm on a mission and that Emmett dude looked like he could stop a rampaging bull with his bear hands.

"Excuse me miss do you per chance have wings?" Emmett sighed still rubbing his temples.

"Not that I know of, if I suddenly sprout wings and fly away I'll let you know." I said continuing my walk to the only clothing store in this town.

I walked in and headed towards the men's department grabbed some pants and walked towards the cash registers. The only one that was open had a small man balding in the middle of his head. So this is where they all go fleeing from that job huh? I walked up to him and smirked.

"So we meet again." I said looking him in the eye evilly, which totally creeped him out.

"Uh how m-may I help-p you?" He stuttered.

"Scan this." I said handing him the pants.

"Ok." He said in a small voice.

"$5.50 please." He said watching my hands carefully. What did he think I was going to do? Slug him? Yet again very tempting.

I handed him the money and as soon as he gave me the change I turned to the lady next to me.

"Do you need that water bottle?" I asked sweetly.

"Uh no…" She said.

"Thanks." I said smiling and I took the bottle and poured out all the water on Baldy. "Welcome to the Titanic. One way tickets only please." And with that I took the pants and left. Ah how I love Saturdays.

~Back at the hotel~

"Uh Bella, where did you get these pants." He said sounding relatively scared.

"The store why?" I said looking over my schedule for work.

Then before my sensitive little eyes Jasper walked out of the bedroom in -wait for it- orange booty shorts. I didn't even know they sold booty shorts in Nepal. Yup Nepal is where we are and evidentially the town is really called Tittywaken.

I should have looked at those pants before I bought them.

"HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND GOOD IN THIS WORLD!" I shouted falling out of the chair I was sitting in.

"You have to go back and get new ones!" Jas shouted hysterically at me trying to cover up his muscular thighs.

"Umm I'm sorry I can't, Baldy probably told the manager to beware of psychotic teenagers with water bottles by now." I sighed and silently enjoyed this moment of triumph. "Now go out and find a place where you can work booty shorts guy, maybe they'll just think you're a he she and not bother asking questions. I mean this is Nepal how bad could it be?" I said shooing him out the door.

Down the street Jasper began looking in all the store windows but sadly no one was wanting cross dressing bird dudes for work. Poor Jasper hung his head and kept walking muttering to himself how horrible I was and one of these days am going to be attacked by a lion or run over by a bus.

Soon in front of him there were 5 men on donkeys and as soon as they saw him they jumped off their steeds and bowed to the ground in front of him.

"Oh great and holy Dalai Lama, we have finally found you." One of them said.

"Huh me?" Was Jasper's response.

"Yes good and holy one come, we must take you to your palace." Another said dragging Jasper to a donkey and riding off into the sunset with him. And that was the last Me, Jacob, and Edward heard of him. Well for a few hours anyway. At about 3 in the afternoon Jasper showed up at our hotel in a nice robe and was carried here by 5 giant men holding a throne. This creeped me out hugely.

"What the f*** is this?" Jacob gaped at the scene.

"You have said unholy words in front of the great Dalai Lama!" One monk shouted next to Jasper. He waved his hands and Jacob was taken away by big scary looking men.

"What are they gonna do with him." I whispered to Edward.

"I don't know." He whispered back.

"Good monks me and my friends have a mission to attend to now so please bring the cursing one back." Jas said bowing to the monks following him. In return the monks bowed back and brought Jacob back.

"What did they do to you?" I whispered as Jasper talked with his new monk friends.

"They made me read an absurd book and meditate." Jacob said shivering.

"What book." I said.

"Twilight." Jacob said as a bolt of lightning struck behind him. Hmmm weird it was sunny a few minutes ago.

"Now if you will excuse me my friends I must go and save the world." Jas said all professional like.

"We would like to help with this." One monk said. "Will this help?" He pulled out 25,000 dollars in cash from his robes.

" Oh hel … heck yea!" My mouth dropped.

"I will see you soon my friends." Jas said again to the monks.

"We already bought your tickets on you better hurry, your flight leaves at 5. It lands in New York." A bald monk said.

Well this town is strange I tell you. With a capital S. Jasper is the new Dalai Lama? Monks have laptops and can pull 25,000 dollars out of their robes? Maybe we landed in the Twilight Zone. Another flash of lightning struck behind us. Ok what is it with lightning and the word Twilight? Another flash. Gimmie a break!

Ok so we packed our things and left for the airport. We made a stop by the computer store so I could "employ" another sucker into working there to take my place. And in the next 5 mins we were at the air port and ready to go.

"Ok Jasper what did you do?" I said raising an eyebrow at Jas.

"I have found true enlightenment here in this wonderful country." Jas said all spiritual like.

"5 bucks Jasper gets off the crazy train as soon as we land in New York." Jacob said to me.

"Your on." I said shaking his hand.

"What about me?" Edward said stealing a quick kiss before Jacob could see. An I know its sad but I'm gonna miss this place.

"All passengers boarding flight 546 to New York please board now."

New York here we come.

A/N

I know it's a short chapter but I couldn't find the time to make a long one. Sorry . I hope the next chapter will be a tad bit longer. I guess we'll see. Until next Sunday.

-Slinky762