CHAPTER 43
As night fell, and after ingesting the foul, bitter travelling herbs, Dappledshade made her way towards the Star Falls with Longfang. The herbalist led the way with his long tail waving high in the air. He seemed excited for the first time in a long time. He probably felt quite a lot of relief, knowing his life was no longer hanging in the balance.
The trip was shorter than that to the Gathering; Gorseclan had the luck of being the closest to Star Falls. They had to walk alongside the cliffs at the back of their territory until they came to a gully that carved a furrow into the mountainside near the Flaxclan border. The gully was fed by Star Falls, making the land around it lush with forest. All cats journeying to the clan's sacred place had to do was simply follow the creek uphill. In winter the task was harder; the creek flowed more strongly, and the rocks alongside it were slippery.
She gasped a little when reaching the Falls. Gorseclan apprentices were not required to make a trip here before becoming a warrior, unlike in Tussockclan. She had never been here before, and it was beautiful. Holy? Maybe, maybe not, but certainly beautiful. The clear night sky above reflected on the still part of the pool near the rim; moonlight flashing off the ripples flowing from where the waterfall crashed down from the cliff above. The air was crisp and clear and smelt of forest and water. Her ears filled with the crashing of the waterfall colliding with the pool beneath it. Near the base of the Falls was a large, smooth stone, touched by generations of paws. Longfang nodded towards it. That was where she needed to lay down and touch her nose to the water. There she would fall asleep, and commune with Starclan. More importantly to Dappledshade, it was also where she would awaken with nine lives, and the name "star".
She thought maybe it would be hard to fall asleep on the cold, hard stone, or with the sound of the waterfall pounding in her ears, but surprisingly she felt herself drifting off quickly after shutting her eyes. She felt a familiar tug in her guts, but instead of a sensation of being dragged down, it was like she was being hurled upwards.
When her eyes snapped open, she was on a field of bluish grass, glittering with light. Looking around, it seemed like a strange echo of Gorseclan territory, only… brighter, and tinged with a starlight hue. The sky was massive, almost oppressive with how the stars and bright full moon hung in the sky, so close to the ground compared to the sky she was used to. As she looked around with curiosity, the fur on her spine rose. There was that feeling, just like the one she had felt when she first was visited by Stoatberry… like she was being watched. Back then, she had thought of the god of the ocean, of Deepwater. So did that mean now it was Silverpelt's judgemental gaze on her back?
She didn't get much time to think about it; all around, the stars were growing closer and closer. Falling stars shot towards the ground, and as they grew near, they formed into the bodies of cats. They weren't identifiable yet, as their pelts were nothing but stardust. The Starclan cats gathered around her in a circle, making her feel just a touch uncomfortable. She tried to stop the defensive twitch of her tail, the slight lowering of her head. None of these starry cats were showing any aggression.
One of them stepped forward. As it did so, the pelt took on colour, and Dappledshade was surprised to recognise the angular features shared with the herbalist she had left behind in the waking world. Sorrelwind padded forward, stopping about a cat length from where she stood. "You really are a Gorseclan cat through and through, Dappledshade." The deputy said, looking her up and down with clear judgement.
"You're angry."
"Seethingly so." Sorrelwind's reply was flat, but it was easy to imagine she held a bubbling rage below the surface. "But…" Dappledshade's ears perked from their uncomfortably angled back position, surprised when the she-cat's tone softened somewhat. "I do realise Icestar was too far gone. He had to be stopped." Her shoulders sagged, and there was pain in her expression. "I didn't realise just how bad things really were, until I… came here."
"I swear Sorrelwind, I wouldn't have acted unless it was necessary."
Her reply made Sorrelwind's eyes narrow. "And becoming a leader like you always wanted is just a nice little bonus, right?" She sighed. "I know he's no longer alive, and I know he's also not here in Starclan…" Her tone turned coy, and she observed Dappledshade with her head tilted to one side. "I also know that you know where he ended up."
Before Dappledshade could question what her former deputy meant, the starry cat ploughed on. She had a job to do after all. The tortoiseshell startled slightly when Sorrelwind suddenly reached out and touched her nose to the top of Dappledshade's head. The contact caused a surging sensation to rush through her body; like being burned inside out with fire. "I strip your old life away, and give you life anew… With this life, I give you resilience." Sorrelwind was saying, though Dappledshade could barely hear her through the pain of the life. "Use it to prepare for all the things good and bad that may come as leader of Gorseclan. You never know what may happen…" As she stepped back and the burning sensation faded, the experience left Dappledshade gasping. If that was what they would all feel like, resilience would certainly be needed!
The next cat to come forward with colour returning to their starlight pelt was Kowhaifall. Horsefoot came beside her, nuzzling her fondly. So they had found each other; she was glad. "Dappledshade, thank you for uncovering the truth and ousting Icestar from the let Rowanfall know I'm alright, will you?" Kowhaifall said softly, looking at her with a much warmer gaze than Sorrelwind. "With this life, I give you love." She touched her nose to the tortoiseshell's head as she spoke the words. Dappledshade winced, expecting more pain, but instead the feeling that rushed through her was only warmth. It was love for the clan, love for family, for friends, for one's mate, for one's kits. "Use it well, and share it freely. Don't hide your love for fear of weakness. It is one of the strongest things a cat can have."
As she moved back, Horsefoot took her place, running his tail along her back as she padded past him. "With this life, I give you protection." This life was painful again, but not as burning as Sorrelwind's was. Instead it made her heart tense, like it was desperately ready to go on the defensive, to fight for that which it desired to protect. "Use this life to protect not only clan and kin, but the things you value, and the morals you keep." He dipped his head to her slightly as he stood back.
Next came a cat that took a moment to recognize. When she did, Dappledshade's eyes went wide. The spotted tabby she-cat strolled forward almost casually. It was a far cry from the severely wounded state Greybrook had been in when Dappledshade had last seen the Flaxclan cat. The border skirmish really did feel like such a long time ago. Greybrook inclined her head. "Thank you, Dappledshade, for ending Icestar's reign, and saving my clan even more suffering at his paws."
"Greybrook, I-" Dappledshade began to speak, wanting to express her regret to the young Flaxclan warrior for her part in her death. Icestar might have been the one to give her the wound that would ultimately kill her, but Dappledshade had been the one to battle her and weaken her to the point where she was vulnerable.
Greybrook lifted her tail, stopping the Gorseclan cat short. "I need no apologies from you, as long as you are a good leader for Gorseclan; one who understands that what Icestar taught you was wrong." She moved closer, following the Starclan cats that had come before in offering their life. "With this life, I give you duty." The life was one filled with a resolute feeling behind the sear of pain, though tinged with sorrow. Was it Greybrook's own sadness? That her life had been cut short while doing her duty as a warrior to her clan? "Never forget your duty to your clan and the warrior code; do not let your personal desires cloud it."
The next Starclan cat was Swallowstar, coming up beside his warrior as she stepped back. It was not the Swallowstar that Dappledshade remembered however. Here he had been restored to the proud and strong cat of his youth. No longer was he thin, frail and covered in greying hair. Now she could easily see what a formidable warrior he had once been. He looked her up and down with sceptical yellow eyes, standing over her with a very deliberate air of intimidation. "You better learn from the mistakes of your past leaders." He growled, making no pleasantries. "There are still cats alive down there that I care about. I do not wish to see them here with me until they grow as old as I was." Before she had much chance to wonder which cats he might be speaking of, the pain of his life just about brought her to her knees. "With this life, I give you honour." She wondered if the Starclan cats could control how much this process hurt, because she could have sworn he was doing it on purpose. The feeling seemed to be lasting longer too. Perhaps it had something to do with how long the individual bestowing the life had lived. "Remember honour in all you do; honour for clan, code and Starclan above all." He turned with curl of his lip, observing her trying to stop her legs from shaking due to the intensity of his gifted life. "Act with more honour than the leaders before you, or I'll haunt you to an early grave." The way he hissed the words sounded dead serious, though Dappledshade was fairly sure he couldn't actually do that. Starclan cats couldn't haunt anyone right?
The next cat to approach her she did not recognise at all; though she looked very familiar. The dark tortoiseshell and white she-cat was very like her own mother Shadefeather. "Hello Dappledshade. Do you know who I am?"
"Your Loutusbloom… My grandmother?" It was a guess, though Lotusbloom was quick to nod. Her mother's mother had died of sickness back before Dappledshade had even opened her eyes.
"You've grown up to be strong and beautiful." She purred. "I told your mother when you were born that you would be one to watch. It appears I was right." She touched her nose to Dappledshade's forehead, and a feeling of warmth flowed through her, though it was more solemn than the life of love that Kowhaifall had given. "With this life, I give you faith. Have faith in yourself and your clanmates…" She pulled back and observed Dappledshade with fondly. "And you could stand to have a little more faith in Starclan too. Trust us."
Next came a portly, semi-long coated tabby tom with thick stripes on his bushy tail and a kin, greying face. She had never met this cat personally but she knew the description. This was Beestar, the leader before Boulderstar. He had already been an elder-aged cat when Beechstar, the leader before him, died. Beestar had not lost all of his lives in dramatic fashion; he had simply gotten so old even Starclan couldn't hold him together any longer. It was said that becoming a leader tended to make cats live long lives, but there was a limit to Starclan's power. "Dappledshade." He dipped his head in greeting; his voice surprisingly rough for his jolly-looking exterior. "I give you the life of wisdom. Remember to always use your head, be objective and rational… and never stop learning, young warrior. I should have foreseen what kind of cat Boulderstar really was before I named him my deputy. I could have seen the warning signs, if I had used my head."
The penultimate Starclan cat was one she didn't know in the slightest, until he gave his name. When Ragingfang informed her who he was in a deep, booming voice, it was hard to resist the urge to jump up like an excited kit. She had thought he was just a myth. The black and white tom was one of her heroes from Gorseclan's rich verbal history. She had always asked the elders to tell her Ragingfang's stories, over and over. Her favourite was the one where he drove back a patrol of enemy warriors single-pawed. He said nothing before pressing his nose to her head, surprisingly gentle for his immense size. "I give you the life of strength…" The life held a burn as it surged through her limbs, and yet, it also felt empowering. "There are many ways to show strength… Remember that strength is more than just brute force. This is a lesson you must learn from those you replaced."
The final cat strolled by Ragingfang, looking like he didn't have a care in the world. The tiny, thin and relatively plain brown tom with a white chest was half the black and white tom's size. Yet, Ragingfang bowed to him… Strange. The mystery cat had shrewd yellow eyes, and he sized Dappledshade up as he approached. "Greetings, Dappledshade. I am Gorsestar." He looked quite amused by her shock. The first leader of Gorseclan after their split from Sunclan?! He blinked expectantly at her.
"I-I apologise for my rudeness, but… You are not as the stories describe." The tales passed down through Gorseclan history spoke of a massive strong tom. Not this diminutive weedy cat.
Gorsestar laughed, his voice light and tinkling like the bell from a kittypet's collar. "My image has been warped over the generations to suit Gorseclan's culture…" He shook his head slightly. "It wasn't always that way. When I broke the splinter group away from Sunclan, I wanted to build a clan based on cleverness and creativity." His tail curled and uncurled, the only hint of frustration in his otherwise impassive body language. "Then, my deputy killed me in cold blood, hiding the truth; he took over and made the clan all about strength." The brown tom sighed. "Perhaps, with you becoming leader, young one, you can turn the tide back towards my original vision for Gorseclan." He touched his nose to hers, then to her forehead. "With this life, I give you ingenuity." He offered no further words of wisdom, and as the rush of the life faded, she was left with the sense that Gorsestar simply wished to leave it to her and see what she would do. He stood tall. "I hail you by your new name, Dappledstar. Your old life is no more. You have now received the nine lives of a leader, and Starclan grants you the guardianship of Gorseclan. Defend it well; care for young and old; honour your ancestors and the traditions of the warrior code… live each of your lives with pride and dignity."
Dappledstar stood tall and proud, lifting her tail high as the Starclan cats; both those individuals who had given her lives and those who simply had fur of starlight around her called her new name, just as clan cats did when an apprentice or warrior was named. Once again, she felt the heavy, uncanny feeling of eyes on her back. Was Silverpelt watching? That thought led to another. She wondered, when Icestar experienced this ceremony and heard the words those who gave him his nine lives spoke, was he already thinking to undermine the promise of those new lives?
The ceremony was over, and the starry cats were beginning to leave; bowing their heads and shooting back up to the starry sky like comets. Dappledstar felt certain that she was about to awaken, and yet she did not. There was a pause, a silence as she was left all alone, standing in the field of gently swaying grassland. Then, suddenly there was a plunging sensation in her stomach, and her feet fell away to nothing; like claws were dragging her limbs down. The light of Starclan vanished in a flash, and suddenly she was in an inky blackness; she felt like she had fallen in a river, like water was rushing with a current and tossing her body around. She no longer knew which way was up, and then suddenly, she burst forth from the mire in the Dark Forest. Dappledstar spat up the muddy water as she dragged herself to the mossy land, clambering up a tree root. That… was a far more unpleasant trip here than ever before.
A familiar laugh greeted her as she shook herself off. Her blue eyes sought out Stoatberry; the herbalist was lounging on a branch directly above her head. "Oh don't give me such a scathing look." The brown and white she-cat chided with amusement at the furious look Dappledstar was giving her. "Congratulations are in order, after all! I expect big things, Dappledstar. I knew you were the right choice."
"How did you do that?" Dappledstar hissed in a half-splutter, shaking her head to get the water off her whiskers. This place might be in a dream, but it sure felt like she was soaking wet right now. Maybe she had fallen in the Star Falls pool back in the waking world.
"Oh, getting you here from Starclan? How do you know it's not easier than normal? Two sides of the mirror, and all that." Stoatberry looked smug as she made it clear she wouldn't elaborate. "You really think I'm going to tell you how I pull you into this realm in your dreams? Some secrets you have to die to know, my friend."
"Oh we're friends now?" The sarcastic comment was under Dappledstar's breath, but she didn't care if the ghost heard her or not. Then, something occurred to her. "Is Icestar here?"
The abrupt question seemed to surprise Stoatberry, but only for a moment. The herbalist dragged her claws across the bark of the tree. "Oh yes." She purred. "But then, he was here a lot when he was alive too." Her toothy grin flashed white in the gloom of the forest as she let out a snort of amusement. "I wish I had been there to see his face, when he realised his dear departed Boulderstar had been tricking him into thinking this was Starclan all along!"
Just as Dappledstar was about to question her further and to demand an explanation to the bomb just dropped on her, the new leader snapped awake; Stoatberry's laughter lingering in her ears. As her blurred vision came into focus, she saw Longfang's face crouching over her with a concerned expression. "Are you alright?" The tom questioned softly. "You were out for a long time, did something go wrong during the ceremony?"
"I'm fine. There was no problem." Dappledstar stood slowly after nodding, almost experimental in her movements after her experience. She felt drained, and yet… Something was different, though nothing she could particularly place. Was this the feeling of having nine lives? Her legs were stiff from being tucked up on the hard stone and her fur was damp from the mist of water sent up from the churning waterfall. She shivered, glad she had not done this in winter. It would have left any cat freezing after lying there for who knows how long.
She shook herself off, glancing up to see the sun rising over the tops of the trees as she hopped from the smooth flat stone in the water to the shore. She would have to worry about what Stoatberry had told her another time. It didn't matter anyway; Icestar was dead. It was her first dawn as leader of Gorseclan, and she had every intention of it being one of many many more. She turned to her herbalist, standing tall. "We must return home, Longfang… There is a lot of work to do."