I do not own Naruto.

This is chapter 5 of Love Letters. Please read, and enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.

Dear Husband:

So much is going on and yet so much is not happening. Where are you? Each day I feel more broken and I've begun to ask myself if I was every happy. I don't mean to complain or sound needy. You once said that you picked me because of that or something. I always wonder if you changed your mind.

Did I finally become annoying, clingy, needy?

Maybe I shouldn't be starting a letter this way.

Let me try this again.

I last left off with our first exchanging of I love you's. Well the next few days were very nice. You know them. We talked the most we ever had in all of our marriage. You took me to train with you for the first time. I remember it so clearly. Your image is burned into my mind.

Your precision, fast quick movements. Your concentration is hard to break. I trained along side you, you did your thing I did mine. But I was always watching you. It wasn't until I was using the gentle fist style and practicing with that that you began to notice me. I wondered if my presence is so small to you.

You gave me this half smile. Like you didn't want me to know you were watching but you couldn't help it. It was only later you suggested sparring.

At first I was worried. I might get hurt. Then I scolded myself internally. Even if you did it would help to shape me as a ninja. You didn't hurt me through. You told me to attack you like I was going in for the kill. I attacked and you blocked everything.

I stopped for a breath and you gave me a hard look.

"Your not giving this much effort Hinata," you looked disappointed. It stung. "I told you to attack me like your going to kill me. Act like I'm the enemy. Attack me like you mean-"

I lunged fast at you.

I don't know what you did to me but all the feelings I've built up over years in my clan's house were so easily released that day. I hit harder and faster like I was really trying to hurt you. And I knocked you down. My fingertips stopped just inches from your throat and I smirked.

"How was that?"

I wanted your approval. I know you are always going easy on me. Like I could take you down Sasuke.

"Much better," you took my hand and used it to pull me to you. That kiss was one our last. After getting up and bathing that night I felt truly exhausted. Sleep took me over and the next day. Was our last together.

I woke up to an empty bed. Your side was warm and I got up to make breakfast. There was no note as to where you were. I knew you would return soon enough.

You did. You looked pleased as you entered and said your usual, "I'm home."

I greeted you and set the plate of food before you.

Eager to eat you dug in like you hadn't eaten in awhile. I took in your image. You were fully dressed and smelled faintly of the Saki.

"Did you meet with Tsunade?" I asked.

"Yeah," you smiled. "She approved me as an Anbu member. She briefed me of an assignment this morning. I leave tomorrow morning."

I remember congratulating you.

Hinata heard a faint knock on the door. Hinata left the letter after she quickly added a Love Hinata. She got up to answer the door and it was Naruto.

She looked behind him for Sasuke and he wasn't present.

"What's the news?" Hinata prepared for something horrible. She could feel disappointment creeping into her heart. "Did you find anything?"

Naruto shook his head, "the trail was to old. Kiba and Akamaru found nothing fresh." He stepped forward and set a heavy hand on her thin shoulder. "Hinata, perhaps you should just give up."

Hinata shrugged his hand off.

"Why?" she asked him. She couldn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. "You Naruto why do you want to give up?"

"There's been no sign of him!" Naruto shouted. He was frustrated. The village it was near they haven't seen him since he first left and they were no help. We have no leads. Nobody else is willing to continue this! Just forget him."

Hinata stood in place. It was painful to hear Naruto say this.

"I won't. So you can forget me too then Naruto," Hinata hoped he would take the hint and leave. For a moment he stood there but he finally turned to leave her home but he stopped once more.

"Hinata," he said softly. "Please just move on if he doesn't ever come back. I'd hate to see you waste your life here."

"Goodbye Naruto," Hinata walked away and return to the desk. Laying her head onto her arms she cried. Everything in her life was falling apart. Almost like she was a joke and she was finally getting the punchline.

Hinata sat up an hour later. Her eyes puffy and red. She wiped the last of the tears and made some tea to sooth her frazzled nerves. As she heated the tea the sky beyond the window outside was dark and she could feel the rain ready to fall down. She poured the tea into a cup and sipped it gingerly. After she felt comforted by the tea she grabbed an umbrella and headed out into the rain. She wanted fresh air.

Rain felt good to her. It reminded her of the last day she saw Sasuke. Something she didn't want to forget. She patted her belly to remind herself to be happy. The raindrops came slow at first, almost as if they were holding back for her. She kept walking and walking until she saw people going into their homes to flee the pouring water. Her umbrella was a purple umbrella that she had since childhood.

A gust of wind took her umbrella from her. She ran after it and it landed on a tombstone. She looked around to see hundreds of gravestones. She had wandered aimlessly in this direction and now she was paying for it. She lifted up the umbrella to see whose grave she had disturbed.

As she lifted it she saw the name Uchiha.

She let the umbrella go. This was a new grave stone.

"No," she reached for it again and pulled it up.

Sasuke Uchiha.

Hinata fell to her knees. Questions flooded her mind. Did they find a body and Naruto just didn't tell her? Did they just assume he was dead?

Hinata touched the cool wet stone. She waited there for some time and when she stood up she went home.

The walk home was both grim and refreshing. The rain she saw had always been refreshing, rejuvenating, but after seeing the gravestone with his name, it upset her.

Her footsteps felt heavy.

Upon entering she went to the writing table and put the letter into another envelope.

She pulled out another paper and the pen in her fingertips shook.

Dear Husband:

Did you know they have a gravestone for you? I'm not sure when they made it but I saw it, touched it even with my own fingers. It wasn't a dream. Please tell me something soon. Please let me know. I just want to know. That's all I need.

I just can't seem to get my head cleared. I'll finish this story that I've begun.

The last day.

You had just told me about being an Anbu member and I felt some sadness in knowing that you were accepted. Jealousy too, but mostly the idea of you getting dangerous missions and being away from home for so long.

I smiled, despite the feelings I felt. I wasn't sure which was more prominent of a feeling. I remember wanting to ask you to stay. But how could I ask you to not be an Anbu Black Ops member? It's a big deal, the best of the best. There were certain pressures being put upon me. Mostly by my family and some other families. They really wished for my to produce an heir.

It's something that frightens me.

You leaving. Starting a family. Where do I exactly fit into this puzzle?

I'm certainly not the best ninja. I never expected to be, I'm good at being a house wife, but that's not so exciting. I want some kind of purpose and I believe it was that day you gave it to me.

You left to pick up the uniform and mask and I was outside in the garden. It was a breezy afternoon and rather cool. But I worked hard on plucking every weed from my sight. My gloves were dirty and I went inside to freshen up. I had a cup of tea and stood outside overlooking the garden.

It's one thing I've had complete control over. The wild beauty that is was is now gentle and neat but still amazing to look at. I went to the market to shop for the ingredients for your favorite meal.

I saw many of our friends. Kiba, Naruto, Ino, Sakura, Shikamaru, Shino, and Lee all waved and told me to send my congratulations too you. I promised.

Well, I broke that.

I forgot in the heat of the night to tell you how your friends thought proudly of your accomplishment. I forgot that and sometimes I wonder if that would have made a difference. Unlikely but still.

It was getting to be later in the evening and suddenly I was rushing to finish the meal. You were no doubt training a bit too. You would do that all the time. Say your going somewhere and come home exhausted and sweaty from training. I know if I said that to Tenten she would accuse you of something else but the first time I realized you were taking too long I went looking for you. I was worried. I found you deep within the training grounds all by yourself.

It washed away all my worries.

You showered before dinner and we sat down.

"You didn't have to go to all this trouble," you told me. Even though you say it we both know that you still liked having your favorite meal the night before a mission, just like Naruto would fill up on ramen.

"It's no trouble," I countered. Honestly, it wasn't. You started to dig in. I took one bit and felt loneliness settle in. You had left for long missions before and each time loneliness would settle in at supper the night before. "Be safe."

I nearly choked on the words. You looked up to see my eyes focused on your onyx eyes. I will never forget the color of your eyes, the feel of your hair, the sound of your voice. All of these are forever engraved into my memory. Both a blessing and a curse. One I wouldn't live without, even if I had the choice. I've come to love you. Over the course of our marriage you've shown me something about myself. You've shown me the importance of speaking up.

Because after dinner and the usual chit chat you stood in kitchen with me doing dishes alongside me. A rare thing. With an unbearable silence.

"I love you," you said. It broke the silence and I glanced over at you. Our eyes locked and I stare hopelessly into your eyes. Trying to find everything in them.

"And I you," I felt the smile tug on the corners of my mouth making me grin wide.

I leaned closer and tilted my head to give you a peck on the lips. As I pulled away you grabbed my wrist and put your other arm around my waist. You pulled me into a crushing hug.

"I mean it," you told me. You more like whispered it into my ear.

"I mean it too Sasuke," I struggled to speak. I swear I could feel you smile against my cheek.

"I don't think we really danced at our wedding," you said. You looked into my eyes and my face was beginning to turn red.

You backed away from me in order to offer your hand to me. As silly as I felt I took your hand and we danced there in our kitchen. Nothing special, nothing magical, not romantic, and yet it was all of that. I placed my cheek on your shoulder and relaxed against you. It felt comfortable and safe. I wondered if this was part of love. I imagine so. I believe now, even more so, that it is.

What happened next is something I have never spoken or written to anyone.

When our dance was done, you sighed. Almost like it wasn't enough. You turned your head and looked away from me. I could feel distance being put between us. I felt more than ever that it was because of me. I stood beside you and intertwined my fingers with yours and leaned my head against you.

"Please don't tempt me Hinata," your voice was calm but had a hint of strain. You were restraining yourself and I could see it pained you. I wondered how often you did that.

"You are my husband," I said as a reassurance but it sounded bad, I think to both of us, like it was duty and not my feelings. I realized there were two outcomes to be had here. 1.) I would say nothing, because I'm quite good at that, and nothing would happen. I would regret it later. 2.) I would say what I felt, no matter what your reaction and I will not have held regret later.

I opted for outcome number 2. I stood before you and kissed you. More than just a peck.

"I say you are my husband because I you are. It is you that I love," I felt my face becoming redder by the second, but I couldn't stop here or now. "I want to show you how I feel."

Sasuke, you took me by surprise. You cut me off by taking my lips with yours. My heart was racing and even more so when you led my to the bedroom. I wondered if you could hear my heart hammering in my chest. My face was probably redder than a tomato but that didn't matter to me. Being close to you,your lips on mine, it was a secure and intimate thing. It was what I wanted. No matter how embarrassed, inexperienced, and terrified I was this overwhelming feeling of love was all that I really felt.

You reached for the bottom of my shirt, pulling and I remember your shirt was coming off as well. I was caught up in everything. It was beautiful. I felt like we were really together as one.

The morning was such a let down after that night.

I secretly wished you would decide that you wanted to stay with me. However, I woke to find you had left. You had plucked a pretty purple flower from my garden and left it neatly on your pillow with a note. I shouldn't have been so heartbroken. Not after having heard you say I love you, not after that night, not after all our marriage. But there were tears in my eyes. I cried lightly and then read the sweet note you wrote.

Dear Hinata:

I'll be back before you know it. I love you. So much. Maybe we can finally consider having a family. Wait for me.

Love always,\

Sasuke.

I have that note framed.

I have kept that promise quite well. I have considered having a family with you, before I began getting sick. I would have nausea at all times of the day and it stayed for some time and Tsunade was the one to give me the news.

"Hinata," she looked up from her papers.

"What is it?" I asked. "Stomach flu?"

"It is a symptom but of something else," she delayed to see my curious look.

"What is it?" I repeated.

"You're just having morning sickness," she smiled. It took me a moment. Morning sickness, I thought. But that only happens when your pregnant. It hit me then and I was excited. But you were already supposed to be home. It was the start of being on my own and it was incredible news and it gave me even more hope.

Please respond Sasuke, because I love you.

Love always,

Hinata.

Hinata placed the letter inside of an envelope and numbered it. She sealed it with a kiss and left it on the kitchen table. She curled up in bed and stared at the note framed on her end table. She let the tears fall gently and she wiped them away before they reached the pillow.

Lately she was always tired.

She slept. Peacefully, but woke still feeling empty and hollow. In that regard it wasn't peaceful.

Just since the last ime I updated everything became complicated. I was stretched thin between college work and work. After my classes were over on Monday I thought, "Woo! I can finally update this series!" It's been one disaster after another. 1.) My iPod was being stupid and I tried fixing that. 2.) By trying to fix it I ended up not, and my comouter didn't recognize my mouse or track pad. 3.) I got my mouse to work. I really need that at least. Now that it's summer and all I face is just work, I will update faster.

So sorry for the long wait. Thank you for being patient with me and my stupid struggles with life.

Also I apologize for all my grammical, puncuation, and spelling errors. I'm only human and bound to make mistakes that spell check doesn't notice or that I don't notice it has noticed. I just hope you understand what it is that I'm typing. Who knows, it would be my luck to make a sentance that totally doesn't make sense and I wouldn't catch it. Sorry this Author's note is so long.

Thanks for reading and being patient.

I hope you enjoyed this series so far. More will be on the way.