There was a funny, awkward little juggle when they got to the top of the stairs and remembered that they had come in separate cars. Eventually Sebastian insisted that Kurt leave his hire car behind, and they could pick it up later. Kurt acquiesced without too much protest. Sliding into the passenger seat of Sebastian's car felt like greeting an old friend.
The drive into town from the beach took only a few minutes, and neither of them spoke. Sebastian took him to a quirky little café for dinner without any discussion. They accepted their menus with quiet thanks, but couldn't help glancing at each other over the tops of them. Eventually, Kurt had no choice but to break, burying his grin into his hands and laughing helplessly as his menu clattered onto the table. "This is ridiculous," he said.
Sebastian laughed as well, unleashing the grin he'd been battling against. "Completely," he agreed. "So what are we going to do about it?"
"I have no idea," Kurt admitted freely. "I think this is normally the part where we start a running commentary on the people, except now the people can hear us. Or you world-bend something ridiculous and I climb on it. But I think the rules of physics apply now."
Sebastian mock-scrunched his face and wriggled his fingers at Kurt, before dropping his hands. "You know, I think you're right. My finger-waving is doing nothing."
Kurt laughed, and couldn't at all fight the fondness he knew must be shining on his face. "However will we cope?" he asked.
Sebastian reached across the table to grab Kurt's hand in his own. There was no room for Kurt to be afraid of Sebastian being spooked by that fondness, not when all he could see in Sebastian's face was hope. "I think we'll figure it out," Sebastian said. And Kurt believed him.
They fumbled their way through dinner. Kurt didn't recall whatever he had eaten, only that it was delicious, sure his tastebuds were elevated by the ocean air settling around them. Eventually, though, they had to get up and leave, and wandered out onto the sidewalk. The streets were still full of people, soaking up the beautiful summer evening. They slowly made their way to Sebastian's car a few blocks away, neither bothered by the slow pace set by the crowds of families on the pavement.
Once Kurt settled back into Sebastian's passenger seat, hesitation crept back up on him again. "So, will you take me back to my car?" he asked. "I should check into my motel before it gets too late."
Sebastian frowned and curled his fingers around the steering wheel, even though the car wasn't on. "You booked a motel?"
"Of course I booked a motel," Kurt replied. "I wasn't exactly planning on flying back to New York tonight."
"But –" Sebastian started, and then broke off, dropping his forehead onto his fingers with a groan. "Kurt. Please don't. Just. Don't get a motel."
"But…" Kurt had known his confidence would have to run out at some point, and now it suddenly felt like it had completely deserted him. He floundered, not knowing which way was the right way to step.
Sebastian heaved a deep breath and then lifted his head off the steering wheel to turn to face Kurt. "I won't pretend for a second to know what you want," he said plainly. "And god knows I'm terrible at actually saying what I want. But I just discovered that the guy I've seen in my head every night for a couple of months wasn't a very elaborate figment of my imagination. So. I want you near me. Please don't get a motel."
Kurt locked his eyes onto Sebastian's. A leap of faith, he realised. Sebastian had repaid Kurt's leap of faith with one of his own – smaller, but costing just as much. "Okay," he agreed in a whisper.
Sebastian smiled gently at him, and oh god, if he hadn't already been doomed a hundred times over Kurt would have been doomed again in that moment.
"We're still going to have to get my car though," he said, deliberately breaking the tension with a bit of sass in his tone. "I'm going to need access to at least three different skincare products I'm sure you've never even heard of before."
Sebastian's smile only brightened into one of mirth, but he shifted in his seat to face forwards and turn the key in the ignition. "Sure, babe," he agreed easily. "Whatever you say."
Sebastian was silently impressed that he didn't immediately lose his mind the moment Kurt climbed out of his passenger seat and into the hire car, and left Sebastian alone. He didn't lose his mind as he carefully made the drive to his hotel, watching Kurt in the rear-view mirror to ensure that the other boy followed. Hell, his mind didn't even wobble as they both parked in the dark garage of the hotel, and he got a moment to take stock of the whole, completely mind-blowing situation.
He sat in the dark silence of his car and marvelled at just how calm his mind really was. On one hand, a guy he'd known in high school had just appeared on the other side of the country to find Sebastian and tell him that he'd been witness to and participant in Sebastian's dreams all summer. Objectively fucking insane, right? He should probably be terrified.
But on the other hand, Sebastian had never been the special kind of stupid it took to undermine something he wanted when it was already within his grasp. He tugged his key out of the ignition and pulled his long frame out of the low car seat; there Kurt was, already leaning against the trunk, trying not to fidget, with a modest wheeled suitcase at his feet. Something clenched low within Sebastian's stomach. No, he definitely wasn't that stupid.
Sebastian guided Kurt smoothly to his hotel room and they deposited Kurt's bag, but it was still too early to retire. Before Sebastian could feel like he was at a loss for what to do, he grabbed Kurt's hand and steered him back outside. "Let's go for a walk," he said simply.
They strolled down to the beach – a different one, on the other side of the headland from Manhattan Beach this time – and chatted idly about Kurt's trip to California, like it had been completely planned and not the biggest fucking surprise of Sebastian's life. Sebastian flicked off his shoes as soon as their feet hit soft sand, and he glanced at Kurt with just a hint of a challenge – and suppressed a sigh of relief to see Kurt didn't need the challenge, because he was already doing the same. Good. He'd been pretty sure Kurt wasn't the type to prissily keep his shoes on even if they filled up with sand – but still. A bit of confirmation he had been reading Kurt right didn't hurt.
The beach was almost completely unlit except for the moon, and the lights of the stores on the street running parallel to it. Nonetheless, there were a few brave souls still out there paddling in the surf, and Sebastian watched Kurt watch them for a few minutes. He'd grabbed Kurt's spare hand almost the second they'd both straightened up, shoes dangling from fingers, and started walking again.
Sebastian knew Kurt was about to start talking in the way his hand stiffened, before Kurt ever opened his mouth. "Sebastian?" he asked, and Sebastian hummed in acknowledgement. He watched Kurt's face shift too quickly to keep up in the dim light, but then it settled into something resolute. "I'm sorry. But I have to ask. If I keep wondering, then I'm going to work myself up, and then I'll overthink it, and then I'll inevitably create a problem where there wasn't one, and…" he cut himself off with a shake of his head. "Just like that," he said dryly, and if it weren't so dark Sebastian would have sworn he could see Kurt rolling his eyes at himself. "I'll do that. So I need to ask. Do you want… What do you want? Because I think what we had in the dream was… good. But it was a lot like a real-life relationship. A commitment, even. So?"
Sebastian was startled that Kurt even felt like he had to ask, and it was for that reason alone that he didn't cut Kurt off mid-ramble. "What? Have you lost your mind?" he asked. "Because, all jokes aside, I have not. Of course I want this." He lifted their joined hands as if to emphasise his point.
"You do?"
"Kurt," Sebastian sighed, pulling them to a stop and turning Kurt around to face him. "If we really have shared dreams this whole time - and the fact that you're here is pretty incontrovertible evidence that that's the case - then you know. You were there. We're happy, babe."
"And it's as simple as that?" Kurt's voice wavered very slightly.
Sebastian reached up to wind his fingers through the hair on the back of Kurt's head. "It's as simple as that," he echoed, and kissed him, quick and sweet. He snagged Kurt's hand and started walking again. "It's only more complicated if you make it more complicated."
Kurt was quiet for so long, it almost rattled the serene confidence Sebastian was radiating. "Okay," he said eventually. "Yeah. Okay. Good."
"Good," Sebastian agreed. They were at the end of the beach by then, but stopped at the playground next door to swing on the swings. Then they meandered through the streets of Half Moon Bay as the town grew sleepy, grabbed a drink at the last bar open for the night, and retired to their hotel room.
Sebastian didn't give Kurt any room to worry if there was any expectation of any sort of physical activity. Hell, even if Kurt had been interested, Sebastian was way too shell-shocked for it to be on his mind. And, since they'd figured out that orgasms got them kicked out of the dreams, it also wasn't the first thing that came to mind seeing Kurt Hummel in his bedroom. So Sebastian quickly changed into his pyjama pants – he might be shell-shocked, but he wasn't such a prude that he was going to start wearing a shirt to bed in the middle of summer when he didn't normally – and stretched out sideways on the bed while his eyes tracked Kurt, still fidgeting with the contents of his suitcase.
"Well, are you going to educate me on these three types of skincare products I've never heard of?" Sebastian drawled.
"Do you really want to know?" Kurt asked with a cocked eyebrow.
"Dunno. I might," Sebastian replied lazily, tipping his head back towards the ceiling. "Probably only if they get in the way of you coming to bed, though."
Kurt laughed and gently rapped Sebastian on the forehead as he walked past to get to the bathroom. "Typical," he said. "You're not going to be able to get away with all that salt water and sun forever."
"I'll always be pretty," Sebastian said dismissively, and stretched his arms above his head. Kurt didn't reply, but the way he stopped moving for just a moment was answer enough for Sebastian.
As Sebastian waited for Kurt in the dim light of the hotel room, the insane adrenaline of the day caught up to him, and he found himself getting sleepy against his will. When Kurt finally reappeared beside him, also pyjama-clad, he had to be nudged to sit up and pull the covers back before collapsing into the bed, right-way-up this time. He had barely enough awareness to pull Kurt to him, just like he had so many times in the dream, before he was under.
Sebastian didn't know what he had expected, but there was something a little jarring about seeing Manhattan Beach at sunset for the fourth time now. He sat on his towel, tucked into the folds of the cliffside with his sketchbook in his lap, and his heart pounded to be back in that spot. He didn't have to look for Kurt for long – the other man was sinking onto the towel within seconds.
"Hi," Kurt said shyly, biting his lip.
"Hi," Sebastian parroted back, smiling gently and taking Kurt's hand.
Kurt could only stare at their knees pressed together side-by-side for a few seconds before blurting, "Oh my god, this is just too weird," and Sebastian laughed.
"What about it is too weird?" he asked with amusement.
"I don't know. The fact that we've been in this exact same place and time already before?" Kurt said, gesturing expansively. "The fact that I only saw you thirty seconds ago in a completely different place? The fact that I know our bodies are both together somewhere else at this very moment?"
Sebastian squinted at Kurt contemplatively for a second, before he pushed a hand square into Kurt's chest to force him to flop back into the sand. When he was sure Kurt was down and staying down, he flopped down beside him. "Chill, babe," he said. "You forget I've been going to the exact same place twice a day this whole time. Don't like it? Change the view." He flicked his fingers, and the sky above turned lavender.
Kurt scoffed gently. "Easy for you to say," he muttered. "You're still the one with all the power here."
"I wonder why that is," Sebastian said, tone turning thoughtful as he mindlessly flicked his fingers, cycling the sky slowly through a pastel rainbow, before he settled back on lavender.
"I'm sure you're shocked to hear I've thought about it a lot," Kurt said, irony lacing his voice.
"I'm shocked it's even crossed your mind at all," Sebastian agreed blithely.
"I mean, I did have this whole six and a half hour flight just action-packed full of activities with no possible space for thought." Kurt smiled as Sebastian briefly tickled at his side. "So after I completed all of those thrilling activities, I did allow thirty seconds to think about the 'why' of it all. And the only thing I can put it back to is when you pushed me into that fountain at the musical afterparty – did you get that same weird electric shock feeling when we hit the water?"
"I thought the wiring to the fountain must have been just as high quality as the school itself," Sebastian teased, and laughed gaily when Kurt picked up his sketchbook to whack him with it.
"Hush, you," Kurt said sternly. "So that shock is the only thing I can think of that was out of place. Any more explanation than that? I've got nothing." He stopped, and Sebastian just basked the feeling of them lying shoulder-to-shoulder, staring at a sky of their own making. "The night after, though, I do remember having this weirdly vivid dream. I was standing in a room, and there was a door. I took the longest time to decide to walk through it. I think the dreams started after that, just flashes though. It took awhile to build into what we have now."
A sudden chill ran through Sebastian. "You dreamed about a door?" he asked.
"Yeah. It was just this little square room with in it, and one door. I walked through it. I can't remember what happened afterwards."
"I…" Sebastian started, frowning. "I'm pretty sure I had the same dream. But I chose not to go through."
"You what?" Kurt asked, turning his face to look at Sebastian quizzically.
"Are you kidding? Leave a perfectly fine room with no surprises in it, to plunge into the unknown? You know me better than that."
"I suppose I do," Kurt mused, and let the topic drop. Sebastian was rattled, though. Who knew what his summer would have been like - what he would have been like - if Kurt hadn't been brave enough to step through that door? It didn't bear thinking about.
Eventually, Kurt rolled towards him and settled his head on Sebastian's shoulder with a sigh, tracing a finger aimlessly over Sebastian's chest. "Ultimately, I think we just need to accept we were given a gift." Sebastian made a tiny noise of assent. A moment later, Kurt curled his fingers into Sebastian's shirt, just over his heart. "I mean, I certainly got what I needed out of this. I'm definitely not bored or unsatisfied with my life anymore."
"Oh, is that all? I'm so glad this means so much to you," Sebastian said sarcastically, and shoved Kurt off him even as Kurt laughed. Sebastian pinned him to the sand and stopped to soak in how those blue eyes sparkled. If forced, Sebastian thought as he dropped his head to brush their noses together, he probably would have admitted that he got what he needed too.
The only thing weird about waking up with Kurt the next morning was that it wasn't weird at all. As the light started to burn through the open curtains, Sebastian groaned and nuzzled his face further into Kurt's neck with a huff.
Kurt squirmed with a little giggle, shifting to lie flat on his back, but didn't push Sebastian away. "Good morning," he said idly, a hand hooking into Sebastian's hair. "What's on the agenda today?"
"Caffeine, then plans," Sebastian grumbled. A beat later, though, he followed with, "I forgot to ask. How long are you even here for?"
"Two more nights." At Sebastian's rumble of protest, Kurt said, "I know. But I've got to get back to work."
Sebastian managed to rein in the childish part of him that wanted to say, fuck work, and pour his energies into getting Kurt to stay. He knew it wasn't productive. So instead, he said, "Well, I was planning on checking out of here and heading up to San Francisco today. Is that okay?"
"Of course," Kurt agreed lightly.
"I'll show you the highlights of Half Moon Bay on our way out, though." Sebastian reluctantly crawled out of bed, offering Kurt a hand to pull him up as well. "Swim first? Before breakfast?"
"I didn't bring a swimsuit," Kurt said.
"Pity," Sebastian murmured, and let his gaze linger hotly over Kurt's broad shoulders, barely disguised by the tank top he had on. A faint pink flush bloomed over Kurt's cheeks, and it felt like a victory.
Sebastian took Kurt to a coffee shop for a quick breakfast, and then a whirlwind tour down a hiking trail, through the tidepools and back onto yet another stunning beach. He briefly tried talking Kurt into getting in a kayak, but knew from the beginning it was a lost cause.
When they were walking back up the beach for the last time, Sebastian figured he was only being true-to-form by pushing Kurt into the water. And he was genuinely delighted to discover that Kurt had clearly been expecting it - with one quick flick of the wrist, Kurt was pulling Sebastian down with him. There was no squawking scramble about phones in pockets or damaging clothes; Kurt had left everything of value in the car on purpose, Sebastian found out. There was only the tang of salt water mixing into their kisses as the waves battered around their shoulders.
Neither of them had been to San Francisco before, so they spent the drive planning an itinerary for the next few days. It was so domestic it should be sickening, but Sebastian turned down the noise on that thought straight away; he honestly didn't care.
After an afternoon playing tourist, and an evening playing foodie, Sebastian took Kurt out clubbing. Neither of them got drunk – there was no need. For the first time in ages, when he was dancing with Kurt, Sebastian was completely able to lose himself to the sensory experience of it all. With that warm, solid presence next to him, he felt free.
When they stumbled into their hotel room at 2am, neither of them were nervous. They were both too giddy. So when Kurt pushed Sebastian down onto the mattress with hunger in his eyes, Sebastian went easily. And when Sebastian peeled Kurt's shirt and pants off, Kurt barely noticed. They had fallen into each other so completely that each next intimate step was as predictable and inevitable as the tide. So when eventually Sebastian pressed into Kurt on a long exhale, Kurt arching his neck in pleasure and digging his fingertips into Sebastian's back, it didn't feel like fucking. It felt like this was where everything had always been leading. Where they were meant to be.
They spent another blissful day and night together, goofing off and serious in alternating measures. Sebastian accidentally called Kurt his boyfriend to a tour guide and it lit Kurt's face up in a way he tried hard to hide, so Sebastian did it again and again. They ate way too much good food and Sebastian sketched so many beautiful things – haltingly, at first, with Kurt peering over his shoulder, but with increasing ease the longer Kurt watched. He even drew Kurt, delighting in just how flustered Kurt got when he knew he was the subject of Sebastian's pencil; but he flipped the flustered feeling back on Sebastian when he idly picked up the sketchbook to flip through it that evening while Sebastian got ready for dinner, and discovered a few previous drawings of himself from back when Kurt was only supposed to be a dream.
That night was just as incendiary as the previous one had been. When Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt in the afterglow, he felt certain that he knew exactly why the orgasms had kept kicking them out of the dreams. For starters? Way too an intense experience to have in anything other than his physical body. And if he and Kurt had been doing that for the past few weeks, there definitely would have not been any more talking happening in any of the dreams. He could reluctantly agree that some of the talking had probably been important.
When Sebastian woke the next morning, and Kurt's flight was only hours away, disquiet finally hit him. For the first time, Kurt wasn't awake at the same time, and Sebastian gave into the urge to study Kurt's face as he slept. The light filtering through the half-open blinds gave the room a muted glow that only showed off the incredible tones in Kurt's skin. But the more Sebastian looked, the more the agitation grew. Letting Kurt fly away today felt like a mistake, but he couldn't say why. He wrapped Kurt up in a whole-body embrace, holding him more tightly than he ever had before.
"Mmm… Sebastian?" Kurt mumbled sleepily. Sebastian pressed a kiss of apology to Kurt's shoulder. "Good morning."
"Morning," Sebastian replied, his voice rough as he clung to Kurt.
Sebastian registered the moment Kurt felt the tension in Sebastian's hold, in the way those loose and pliable limbs suddenly became strong beneath his hands. Kurt rolled until they were both lying on their sides, face-to-face.
"Is something wrong?" Kurt asked, eyes searching.
"No," Sebastian denied. Kurt didn't push, but instead just leaned in to press gentle, close-mouthed kisses into Sebastian's lips. Sebastian reciprocated but didn't deepen any of them. Communication, Sebastian reminded himself. Adults communicate. "I… I don't know," he eventually said instead. His first instinct was to say the obvious – I don't want you to go, or I'm going to miss you.
But, even as he opened his mouth to say those words, he realised they weren't really the truth. Oh, they were accurate enough, but they weren't what flew to his lips when he thought about what was wrong. He snapped his jaw shut again. Kurt watched him patiently, and did not turn away.
When Kurt lifted a hand to lightly scratch his fingers over Sebastian's chest, up his shoulder and into his hair, reality broke through. Sebastian buried his face into his pillow. "You're going back to our normal lives today. And, I just… Shit, Kurt," he said. "Now that you're really here instead of in my dreams, I can't help but think, when am I going to lose you? This is real. So there's no way I'm not going to fuck it up somehow. Especially once we're back in New York."
Silence. Then a hand slid between Sebastian's face and pillow, tipping it back into the muted light of their hotel room. Sebastian avoided Kurt's eyes, but Kurt would not speak. Holding. Waiting calmly. Eventually, Sebastian gave into the inexorable pull that always tugged his gaze to Kurt. And found an intensity that might just be strong enough to battle whatever agitation raged through Sebastian.
"Sebastian," Kurt said seriously, "my feelings for you are... not the small kind. I know it's absolutely insane to be saying anything this early," he added hurriedly, "and I'm not going to. But I'm putting myself out there so you don't have to. I wouldn't have put my whole life on hold and flown across the country to find you if I didn't have some very deep feelings for you. So I need you to have enough trust in me to believe that one unkind word won't send me out the door.
"Will I call you out on it? Absolutely. And you should call me out on it, too. But I'm here to be with the Sebastian I got to know in the dreams." He reached out to put one hand on Sebastian's cheek, rubbing his thumb along his cheekbone. "If you can just be brave enough to keep being that man, the one who didn't think he had to suppress or moderate any of his own actions… then everything's going to be okay."
Sebastian sighed heavily, his eyes and fingers absently tracing over the lines of gold daylight painted along Kurt's skin by the cracks in the blinds. The sight was beautiful enough to take his breath away. He pulled Kurt into him with both arms and buried his face in Kurt's neck. "Easier said than done, babe," he said. "But I'll try."
Sebastian was solemn as he drove Kurt to the airport – they'd ditched the hire car as soon as they'd arrived in San Francisco, but even if they hadn't, Sebastian still would have wanted to see Kurt off. He knew it was ridiculous to feel a little bereft; he only had just under two weeks left to his trip, to explore northern California, Oregon and Washington, and then he had a flight out of Seattle on the weekend before the new school year started. His car was booked to ship out of Seattle home to Ohio on the same day. He kept Kurt in the passenger seat with needy, demanding kisses for the longest time. Man up, Smythe, he eventually told himself. It's less than two weeks.
It was Kurt that had to pull away in the end, though. His face was calm as he pressed one last affectionate kiss to Sebastian's cheek. "I'll see you in my dreams tonight," he said. "Pick somewhere good!" he added cheekily as he climbed out of the car.
Sebastian couldn't help but smile, which only broadened as he watched Kurt walk away. If nothing else, it was an excellent opportunity to appreciate just how hot his boyfriend was from behind.
Sebastian persisted with his travel plans for two more days. Then he cracked. Late in the evening on the day after they parted, he video-called Kurt. "Pick me up from the airport tomorrow?" he asked without greeting. Kurt was still gaping with silent surprise and confusion when Sebastian continued, "I don't feel restless anymore. I just feel lonely. And displaced. And not being able to hold you for real sucks." He was breathless with exhilaration, the words tripping over themselves.
Kurt furrowed his brow. "Are you sure?"
"Sure that not being able to hold you sucks?" Sebastian retorted.
Kurt giggled and covered his face with a hand. "No, you jackass. Sure that you want to cut your trip short."
Sebastian grinned. "Yeah, babe, I am. So you make sure that pretty face is waiting for me at the other end, okay?"
"Okay," Kurt agreed softly.
In their dream that night, they tried to give San Francisco a fitting send-off with their own little party of two, world- and time-bending their way through some of their favourite sights, dancing, and then finally settling down to watch the natural sunset over the Golden Gate Bridge. But, for the first time, Sebastian was in a hurry to make it through the dream. His sense of anticipation continued to build, knowing that on the other side of that dream would be the real Kurt.
Sebastian spent the flight back to New York going through his sketchpad and making sure that he was satisfied with every drawing, that every picture was complete. There were no more scenes to add to this particular book, so he wanted to be sure that everything was as perfect as he could make it. By the time he finally flipped it closed for the last time there was less than an hour until landing, and Sebastian probably drove his row-mates mad with all the impatient fidgeting he managed to do in that time, as he kept one eye on the flight path tracker and the other on his phone.
After an eternity, Sebastian was off the flight and moving quickly through the airport. He found Kurt leaning against a column in baggage claim, body not moving but eyes intently scanning the stream of people walking past, looking so fucking hot, but also just… beautiful.
And for a split second, all of Sebastian's pretences and self-protection and pragmatism fell away. He loved this man. So much it was kind of appalling. He loved him, loved him, loved him. And he was not afraid.
Hours later, they watched the sunset sink into the skyline from Sebastian's tiny balcony, hands twined together where they rested on the railing. They didn't speak much, too content to break the silence. But at one point, Sebastian pulled out his phone and, without letting go of Kurt's hand, twisted his body at an awkward angle to line up a photo of their hands against the backdrop of the sunset.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked, a little furrow in his brow.
Sebastian didn't look up from his phone, capturing the shot and then straightening up. "Embarrassing myself," he said cheerfully, tapping away on his phone for another moment before pocketing it with a smile. "But I'll be disgusted by myself tomorrow. Today, I don't care." And he pressed a kiss to Kurt's mouth so sweetly it made Kurt melt against him.
Later, sat on Sebastian's sofa while Sebastian ducked downstairs to collect their dinner from a delivery driver, Kurt opened his Instagram and saw the photo Sebastian had taken, their contrasting skin tones artfully blending together in the oranges of the sunset. It was captioned simply, Found something worth staying still for.
The next morning, as Kurt was pottering around Sebastian's kitchen making their coffees, Sebastian suddenly grabbed his waist from behind, murmured, "Smile, babe," and smushed his face into the side of Kurt's in a kiss, his nose pressed against Kurt's cheek. Kurt didn't have time to throw up more than the most candid smile, no posing at all, before Sebastian's phone was up in the air and snapping a picture. Just as quickly as he raised the phone, Sebastian dropped it down again, checking the photo with a slight hum of approval. He opened Instagram, but didn't let go of Kurt's waist with his other arm.
"What was that?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Proof," Sebastian replied cryptically. Kurt waited to see if more information was forthcoming, but when none was, sighed and continued making their coffees. He had just finished when Sebastian's other arm slid around him, now completely encircling him, and Sebastian held his phone up for Kurt to see.
The picture brought out an involuntary smile from Kurt before he even registered anything else. Photo-Kurt's smile was clearly unposed but genuine, so different from what he would normally put on social media. Sebastian's face, seen in profile from where it was pressed against Kurt's, was adorably scrunched up with a playful sort of joy. Eventually, Kurt registered there was a caption underneath, much lengthier than the simple one from yesterday. It read, For starters, I can't decide if I'm more offended by the people who objected to yesterday's photo because there's no way I could score Kurt Hummel, or the people who objected because it was apparently too likely that photo could have been faked. You wound me. Either way, here's your proof. And he's making me coffee, so I can say with absolute certainty that my morning is going better than yours.
Kurt laughed. "Real cute, Smythe," he teased, turning within Sebastian's arms to wind his own around Sebastian's neck.
Sebastian grinned smugly. "I thought so."
"I didn't think putting this on social media would be your style," Kurt broached mildly, more a question than a statement.
"You know I love to brag," Sebastian replied. "Why would bragging about my boyfriend be any different?"
Kurt's mind briefly drifted to all the drama that was likely to ensue. He'd already talked to his Dad, and helplessly gushed to Elliott, and he was pretty sure all of their cast-mates and friends from NYADA would be not-so-secretly thrilled. But pretty much no one from the New Directions had any clue that Kurt and Sebastian were even friends. With the source of the impending drama right in front of him, though, Kurt couldn't bring himself to care.
"Hope you're ready for the noise," he murmured, and captured Sebastian in a kiss so long that their coffees needed converting to iced lattes by the time they were ready to drink them.
And then… real life began. They both went back to school. Sebastian still had no idea what he was going to do with the education he was receiving, but admitted to Kurt that he wasn't so bothered by it these days. He had time to work it out. Sebastian's mother was thrilled by Kurt's existence – which left Kurt smug and Sebastian borderline-offended – and she managed to convince Sebastian's father to hold off on the internship Sebastian had agreed to until the second semester. They were so busy it was kind of nuts, but they met in the middle somewhere most days, and they had their dreams to talk and goof off – although the locations of the sunsets became progressively more boring as the school year pushed on.
In hindsight, Kurt was secretly almost surprised it took Blaine as long as it did to show up. Three weeks after Sebastian returned to New York and put the Instagram posts up, Kurt's first warning came in the form of a message from Elliott while he was spending the night at Sebastian's place. Incoming Blaine alert, the message read. I told him you were at Sebastian's place. Hope that's ok. Wanted to make a point, and it was easier than lying or stonewalling.
Kurt replied to Elliott with reassurance and thanks, and then wordlessly handed his phone over to Sebastian, who was curled next to him on the sofa. Sebastian only glanced at the screen before he groaned, dramatically collapsing backwards to dangle his head over the back. "I thought we had gotten away without having to deal with your crazy ex," he moaned miserably.
Kurt leaned over to press a half-consoling, half-mocking kiss to Sebastian's cheek. "That was very naïve of you, I'm not going to lie." He paused, and then dryly followed with, "I highly doubt Blaine will come here, though. So I suspect you have dodged having to deal with him."
Sebastian jerked his head back up to frown at Kurt. "What - babe, no. You're not dealing with him alone." At Kurt's raised eyebrow, he rushed to add, "And it's not that I don't trust you, or think you can't handle yourself. I just think that it'll be way easier if we can be a united front."
It was honestly a little difficult for Kurt to keep his heart from glowing each time he fell more in love with this man, and how hard Sebastian tried. "Okay," he agreed simply. "Thank you."
Kurt knew Blaine, for better or for worse, and his prediction was right - Blaine didn't show up at Sebastian's door when they were both home together. It wasn't his style. Kurt knew that Blaine was going to appear at either NYADA or Vogue, and of both of those situations, Vogue was strangely the less embarrassing one and easier to control. So the next morning, even though he wasn't scheduled to work, he set himself up in the glass-walled meeting room off the main foyer of the Vogue building. Thursday morning was usually their late start, since neither of them had class. Sebastian, sleepy and ruffled, still in a hoodie and clutching his coffee like a lifeline, was nonetheless beside him; once the caffeine hit his system, he too pulled out his laptop and started working.
They only had to wait until 10am, and then Kurt caught the flash of a banana-yellow shirt over the top of his laptop screen. Blaine approached the impassive security guards with his charming persona on at full force, and only frowned slightly to be pointed in the direction of the meeting room. "Showtime," Kurt sighed as Blaine walked towards them. Sebastian threw a glance at Blaine over the top of his own laptop, and Kurt was alarmed by just how much venom it contained. Sebastian had schooled his face into an expressionless mask by the time Blaine came through the door, but he twined his fingers with Kurt's, their hands hidden by the tall conference table.
"Hi, Kurt," Blaine said tentatively, once the door swung shut behind him.
"Blaine," Kurt acknowledged coolly. "Why are you here?"
"I needed to see you."
"You could have called."
"Kurt, come on. No, I couldn't have."
"You could have tried to call," Kurt corrected, with a twitch to the corner of his mouth.
"Exactly," Blaine said. He kept his gaze squarely on Kurt, seeming determined not to acknowledge Sebastian's existence. "I really need to talk to you."
"This is a long way to come for a conversation. I'm led to believe you live with your boyfriend in Lima now."
Blaine's hands twitched into fists, a dead giveaway that Blaine had been hoping that maybe Kurt didn't know that. Then he sighed, his expression becoming earnest. "It's complicated. Can we talk, please? Properly? Alone?"
"How nice of you to finally acknowledge my existence, Anderson," Sebastian interjected from his seat, closing the lid on his laptop.
"What do you want me to say?" Blaine asked, eyes only briefly drifting sideways to Sebastian before snapping straight back to Kurt.
"How about, 'Hi Sebastian, good to see you'? Even if it's not true, I'm sure you absorbed some semblance of manners at Dalton."
Blaine grimaced. "Kurt, please. I really need to talk to you, and we're not going to be able to do that with him in the room."
Privately, Kurt could admit to himself that if the roles were reversed, and he had chased after Blaine, there was no way that he would have accepted only talking to Blaine in David's presence. It would never have felt like closure otherwise. It was for that reason alone that he swivelled in his chair to face Sebastian, and asked gently, "Give us a moment?"
Sebastian's impassive face, which had not shifted the entire time Blaine was in the room, belied the very firm grip he had on Kurt's hand under the table. At Kurt's request, he could feel Sebastian's fingers spasm even tighter around his own. Kurt dropped his voice even quieter, and said, "It's okay, babe. Really. It won't take long." Sebastian briefly startled and then softened, and belatedly Kurt realised he had stolen Sebastian's pet name in his rush to soothe him. He hadn't used many pet names for Sebastian, because it didn't feel like anything quite fit, but he made note of Sebastian's reaction for later.
Sebastian relaxed into his trademark casual smirk as he stood. "Okay, babe. I'll go hang out with Jacob. But don't keep me waiting too long, or I'll have crushed him at FIFA by the time you're done, and then he won't let me in next time." He kissed Kurt, quickly but firmly, and ambled out to the security desk where he still had direct line of sight of the meeting room - purely coincidental, I'm sure, Kurt thought wryly.
"He plays videogames with the Vogue security guards?" Blaine asked sceptically, with a hint of exasperation.
Outwardly Kurt only smiled briefly, but inwardly he was warmed by the memory Blaine's question provoked. Two weeks ago, Sebastian was whining over the phone about waiting for Kurt in the foyer while Kurt finished one last thing, and Kurt - still engrossed in his task - had absent-mindedly said, I know you're not five years old. If the security guards entertain themselves in that foyer for ten hours a day, I'm sure you can handle ten minutes. Unbeknownst to Kurt, Jacob from security had approached Sebastian only a moment later to ask why he was loitering, and Sebastian had apparently matter-of-factly repeated Kurt's words to Jacob verbatim. Jacob had found it hilarious and taken pity on Sebastian. By the time Kurt had made it down Sebastian was thoroughly engrossed in a game, and Kurt had needed to pull him away.
"He does," Kurt confirmed mildly.
"I'm amazed his brand of charm worked on them." Blaine let derision seep into his tone.
Kurt's whole demeanour hardened instantly. "Blaine, I am doing you the courtesy of hearing you out. But let me be incredibly clear – if you are only here to criticise my boyfriend, this will be a very short conversation."
"I'm sorry," Blaine replied hastily, and without invitation sank down into one of the chairs at the conference table. "I just can't understand. I'm trying to comprehend what he could have possibly said or done to win you over, and I can't. But I suppose it doesn't matter."
"Why are you here?" Kurt asked again, more gently.
"I'm here because I need you, Kurt," Blaine said, brimming with sincerity and that bashful kind of hope that had instantly decimated Kurt's defences once upon a time. That time felt a long way away now. "I love you. And I'm here to fight for you."
"We broke up. I've moved on. You've moved on, Blaine. You live with your boyfriend!"
"Breaking up was a mistake. We needed more space, I can see that now. Everything else, though? All a mistake." Blaine took a deep breath, as if fortifying himself before he kept going. "At first, I kind of hoped you'd come chasing after me, even though I wasn't sure how I would react to that. And then David happened, and it was nice. I almost convinced myself that it was what I wanted, you know? Our chemistry wasn't the same but he was so good to me, and I was happy enough. But then I saw the picture of you and S-Sebastian," he said, stumbling a little over the name, his eyes starting to glisten. "And I realised, all of a sudden, that all I had been doing with David was filling time, filling space, until you and I were ready to be together again. And I so thought you might be filling space with Sebastian, too."
Kurt's first instinct was to turn on the offensive at the slightest hint that his relationship with Sebastian was somehow not enough. He wrestled it down though, looking at the desperate face of the boy in front of him, and tried to have compassion. Blaine still had so much growing up to do.
"This isn't intended to be hurtful, but Blaine, I honestly hadn't thought about you in weeks. I'm just really, genuinely happy with my life. I don't owe you any sort of explanation of what my feelings for Sebastian are," catching the first hint of an interjection from Blaine, he firmly continued with, "nor do I have to justify those feelings to anyone. But they are real, and they aren't going to change. If you're filling time with David, then I am sorry, for both of your sakes. You're both good men who deserve better. But you won't find the solution to that with me."
Blaine's expression darkened. "Sebastian tried to proposition me when I was in a relationship before. Guys like that don't change."
"Oh, you mean like guys who cheat on their long-distance boyfriends?" Kurt asked innocently. Blaine flushed an ugly shade of red, but Kurt ignored it. "I trust Sebastian. And I'm so proud of him." Blaine didn't appear to have a response to that, so Kurt leaned forward, feeling like if he owed the boy anything it was one last observation. "Blaine, the only thing I have left to offer you is some advice, even if you might not be ready to hear it. If you need your partner, you're probably not in a place where your relationship is going to work out. If you're really going to be happy, you need to learn to be okay on your own first."
Blaine scoffed, rising out of his chair and making for the door. But he faltered with his hand on the handle, and his shoulders slumped. He turned back around and gave Kurt one last, searching look; although, perhaps searching wasn't quite the right word. More like he was committing Kurt to memory. "Thank you, Kurt," he said. And then he was gone.
The instant Blaine was out the door Sebastian came back through it, bundling Kurt into a tight embrace. "It was so fucking hard not to punch that guy."
"You did a great job," Kurt crooned, and Sebastian just laughed at how falsely saccharine it was, but pressed a dozen tiny kisses all over Kurt's face regardless, shielding Kurt from the view of the foyer with his broad shoulders, until Kurt was laughing too.
"Do we get to go home now?" Sebastian asked petulantly.
"Yes, baby," Kurt agreed, and definitely didn't notice the tiny tremor in Sebastian's shoulders at the word. "We get to go home now."
They both had classes in the afternoon, and then Kurt had the dinner shift at the diner, and so realistically Kurt should have just gone straight home after work. But he hadn't had a chance to properly talk with Sebastian after their encounter with Blaine, and Sebastian found that he really wanted to. And he wanted to do it from the comfort of his boyfriend's real arms in his own apartment, damnit, not in a dream. Kurt seemed to be of the same mind; midnight found Kurt throwing on a hoodie and nestling himself against Sebastian's side on the sofa. When he dropped his head on Sebastian's shoulder, Sebastian closed his laptop and set it aside.
"So," Sebastian began. "Big day."
"Yeah," Kurt sighed, closing his eyes.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I think I do, yes."
"What did he say to you?" Sebastian asked. "I mean, you definitely don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I have to admit, I'm very curious."
"He pulled out all the tricks. All the ones that he thought would be most effective. Told me he was just filling time with David. Tried to criticise you –" Sebastian made a sound that could be interpreted as either indignant or amused – "but he worked out how badly that backfired very quickly. And he said he needed me." Kurt stopped. Breathed. "I don't think he realised that I haven't wanted someone to need me in a very long time."
Sebastian picked up one of Kurt's hands in both of his own and played with Kurt's fingers for a minute or two. The silence wasn't uncomfortable – rather, Sebastian felt like it was holding them both close. Eventually, he spoke. "I don't think either of us are the type to ever need someone. If we ever broke up, it would really, really suck. So badly. But I believe we'd both be okay on our own. But babe, it doesn't matter if we don't need each other. I want this. Want you. I want this so badly that sometimes I feel like I don't fit in my own head anymore."
Sebastian's heart had clawed up into his throat. He shifted in his seat until he was turned to face Kurt, dislodging Kurt's head from his shoulder, but he kept their faces huddled close. Kurt looked completely disarmed, and so vulnerable. "I love you," Sebastian said.
Sebastian watched Kurt's features fall into that beautiful mix of exposed, genuine surprise and happiness, and yep, he was always going to love doing what Kurt least expected.
"Oh my god," Kurt gasped, tipping their foreheads together. "I love you too. Oh my god, Sebastian. I can't believe you beat me to saying it."
Sebastian laughed, and he couldn't hold back an embarrassingly unbridled grin. "I live to surprise you."
Kurt's returning laugh sounded choked and a little teary, but it didn't matter, because it was immediately followed by a kiss so deep and demanding that Sebastian felt ripped open.
By the time they made it to the dream – much, much later in the night – there were no more words left. They just held each other and watched the sun go down.
Only a week or two later, they both seemed to separately come to the conclusion it was time to talk about the dreams.
It was a Sunday morning and they were settled at an outdoor table at Kurt's favourite coffee shop, coffees and pastries scattered between them. "It feels almost ungrateful," Kurt confided. "We're so lucky to have them. But now that we're doing this for real, they're an imperfect imitation of what we have in real life. They served an incredibly important purpose, but I just don't feel like we need them anymore."
"And not just because we can't have sex in them," Sebastian added with a smirk.
Kurt glanced around the other tables and then glared at Sebastian in a distinctly half-hearted manner. "Not just because of that, no."
Sebastian snickered at Kurt. "Disappointing lack of wet dreams notwithstanding, I do think you're right. As soon as you were really with me, I could tell they weren't quite the same."
"They might be helpful in the future, though. I'm sure there will be times where we'll end up so busy that, even if we don't want it to be that way, the dreams might be the only quality time we get to spend with each other."
"You'll drive yourself nuts always trying to pre-empt the future, babe," Sebastian said. "All we know for sure is what we need right now. Whatever gave us these dreams before did it for a reason. If we really needed them again, there's no reason we couldn't have them back."
Kurt sighed, absently toying with his coffee cup. "So what do we do?" Kurt asked. "It's not like we can just flick a switch to turn them off. We don't even really know how they started – we're only guessing."
"If they started with you walking in through a door, then I think you need to walk out a door," Sebastian reasoned. "I have a hunch."
They spent the rest of the day on schoolwork and then kept the evening for themselves. They cooked dinner together, watched a movie, lost themselves in each other for awhile. Eventually they could fight sleep no longer; Sebastian drifted off first, whereas Kurt needed to extinguish a flame of anxiety before he followed.
Their maybe-last dream started on Sebastian's balcony – the dreams still never broke the pattern of following the sunset. Sebastian used every ounce of world-bending power he had, though, to twist all of their surroundings until they were a truly remarkable imitation of the very first dream they knew they had definitely shared: the lookout on Mt Washington. Peering around, Kurt found it hard to reconcile that it had really been the same two people who had met there, oh-so-long ago.
Kurt delicately perched on the park bench, a stark contrast to Sebastian's relaxed sprawl. "Ready?" Sebastian asked.
"No," Kurt admitted. "What if this is a mistake? What if we get rid of them and we can't ever get them back and we need them again someday? What if –"
"Kurt." Sebastian's voice cut through the anxiety. "It's going to be fine."
"What if it's not? What if we try but we can never get them back again?" Kurt asked.
"Then we'll still be okay," Sebastian said firmly. "You and me, we'll be okay." Sebastian studied Kurt's face and must have read Kurt's ongoing apprehension, because he softened. "What was it you said, back in San Francisco? 'I'm putting myself out there so you don't have to?' Well, babe. This time I'm putting my… faith, or whatever you want to call it, out there so you don't have to. I believe that if we really need them back, we'll be able to find them. I do. We just need to build another door."
Kurt stared out at the vista below for a long time. In his minds eye he could see visual echoes of the skyscrapers in the Pittsburgh skyline forming the letters "SS", and he couldn't repress a tiny smile. Eventually, he took a huge, shuddering breath. "Okay," he said. "If you're putting your faith out there, then I'll trust it."
Sebastian stood and pulled Kurt up with him. He turned Kurt so that they were back-to-chest, his arms mirroring Kurt from behind, and curled their fingers together. "We're going to build this door together," he murmured. "Picture the door you walked through, and then will it into existence, but channel all that willpower through my hands instead of yours." He squeezed their joined hands briefly for emphasis.
Kurt closed his eyes and constructed the door in his mind. He strengthened and strengthened it, being exact in every detail. He then gathered his determination together and pushed, shoving all his mental energy out of his hands and into Sebastian's where they matched, finger-by-finger. And instead of that willpower continue to strain against an invisible barrier, he felt it move.
Kurt gasped and his eyes flew open. There, nestled innocuously between two trees at the edge of the clearing, was his door.
Sebastian let out a little shout of triumph and wrapped his arms more tightly around Kurt with exuberance, swaying side-to-side in his excitement. "You did it!"
Kurt turned his head to the side and caught a glimpse of the pride and excitement on Sebastian's face, breaking into an involuntary smile himself at the sight. "Oh, now we definitely have to end the dreams," he joked. "You can't possibly let them keep going if I have some of the power." He stepped away from Sebastian for a moment to approach the door and inspect it more closely. It was closed, and free-standing with only a frame to hold it up; Kurt was able to walk a full circle around it, and observed that both sides looked the same. He reached out and tentatively touched; as he did, the door cracked open, not wide enough to see through the gap, but the invitation was obvious.
Kurt walked back to Sebastian and stood in front of him. "Are you ready?" he asked.
"I am."
"I'll see you when I wake up?"
Sebastian twined the fingers of both of their hands together between them. "I'll see you when we wake up," he confirmed with a soft smile. They kissed once, twice, three times, and then Kurt pulled back. He tried to let go of Sebastian's hands, but Sebastian would only release one. Kurt took one step towards the open door, then another, and their arms were stretched out fully between them. Kurt soaked up every ounce of feeling in Sebastian's face, knowing his own face was just as revealing.
A third step, and their hands finally pulled apart, and Kurt passed through the door.
When he woke, it was to the feeling of a finger, butterfly-light, stroking down his temple. He reached out on blind instinct, laying a tender hand on Sebastian's cheek. He felt Sebastian's bright and unguarded smile under his hand, the way the skin at the corner of his eyes crinkled under Kurt's fingertips. Kurt opened his eyes, and his gaze was completely filled by Sebastian's - and his heart thudded with pleasure to realise those eyes were yet another different shade of green in the sunrise. But the feeling in them never changed, their lock on Kurt never wavered, and Kurt let it anchor him: warm, open, loved, steady.