Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.
Rated M for a reason. Lemon!
Chpt 15 Pissed, Or Not
BPOV
"Sit." I command, pointing at the chair on the other side of the room.
"I'm pissed at you." I growl when he lowers himself obediently into it.
He nods soberly.
I stalk over to the credenza an' start making myself a cup of coffee.
"What are you doin'?" He asks quietly.
"Makin' piles." I spit out, stirring in the powdered milk.
When it's done I kick my shoes off and sink onto the bed, crossing my legs an' holdin' the hot drink against me as I observe him through the steam.
I'll give him credit, he sits an' watches me silently while I gather my thoughts. He's a strong man.
This is what I do when I have a lot to consider, I make piles and doggedly work my way through them.
Sorting through piles works well as a human, you can follow one line of thought at a time. As it turns out to a vampire it's a complete nightmare. My mind swirls round everything at the same time, like a loony with a rolodex, and all that's doing is exacerbating the confusion an' fear I'm already feeling. Which just makes me angry. I sigh heavily. I have never been angry with him, only loved him, I'm not even sure he's what I'm angry at now. Except that he's sat there, in my sights so to speak.
And so we sit. Me with my coolin' coffee an' building anger and the strong one who obviously isn't going to say anything until I do. Which makes me angrier.
"Is this military medal thing gettin' back to The Volturi the secret you wouldn't tell us?" I ask suddenly.
"Yes. Plausible deniability. The Volturi are zealous about rules but they can be compassionate, sparin' the rest of the coven if they judge them unaware of the transgression."
"So what did you find out this afternoon that made you suddenly decide to sentence the rest of us to death?" I hiss without thinking.
We both wince.
"I'm sorry J." I gasp, ashamed. "That was childish an' hurtful, I don't know why I said it."
"It's a valid question Bella. I don't need my gift to know what you're feelin' at the moment. You're angry an' you're scared." He smiles ruefully. "You've barely had a moment's peace since I changed you. It's okay to be angry with me."
That takes the wind out of my sails so I place the coffee on the bedside table an' settle back against the headboard.
"I'm not angry with you." I sigh. "At least I don't think I am."
He smiles slightly.
"That doesn't mean I don't want to be." I snap quickly, sensing it's not a good idea to let him off the hook too easily. "From what I can gather from Pete's reaction what you did practically qualifies you as criminally insane in the vampire world."
"Yes. It does."
Does he have to be so reasonable? Can't we just have a flamin' great row so I can work off some of the tension that's eating away at me?
"Do you feel threatened?" He asks gently.
"Yes. I feel like everything's out of control. Person or persons unknown are tryin' to kill us. Again. An' we don't have a clue what's goin' on." My voice rises into a plaintive wail. "How are we supposed to protect ourselves if we don't know who's doin' what?" Then my voice drops to a whisper. "How are we supposed to pull together as a coven when the head of the family is keepin' dangerous secrets?"
"I'm sorry." He says, holding my eyes with his. "I thought it was for the best if no one else was aware I was known to the humans."
"So what changed?"
"I rang my secret service contact . . . ."
"You're still in contact with them?"
"No." He says firmly. "I was given a contact name an' number after the job six years ago, today was the first time I used it."
"Oh. What did you find out?"
"I asked them if Jenks was workin' for 'em. They said yes, Stefan introduced him at the same time as me, they've been usin' him to keep track of me in case they needed me." He pauses for a moment. "They wanted to know if I'd killed him."
"Is that they why they sent agents to the house?"
"Yes an' no."
"Being evasive is not helpin' with the anger management Jasper."
He chuckles. "They wanted to know if I knew anythin' about his death an' they want to talk to me about The Volturi."
"Why?" I ask, surprised.
He shrugs. "They didn't say but they asked me if my loyalty was with The Volturi, Stefan or my country."
I digest that for a moment. Even the government wants to know what side we're on. "Shit. What did you say?"
"I hung up."
I can't help it, I laugh, that doesn't sound like his typical approach to awkward questions. "You hung up?"
"I was at a loss for words." He smiles. "My undead existence has mostly been neatly divided. Vampires, of which I am one. And dinner. I'm not sure how to process the idea of my dinner tellin' me off if I don't take its side in an argument. It's surreal."
"Is that what they said?"
"It's what they implied."
"They can't do anythin' to us anyway." I snort.
"No." He laughs an' then sobers again. "What worries me is the implication that somethin' is goin' on between The Romanians an' The Volturi. An' what freaks me out is that the human government knows more about it than we do. How fucked up is that?"
We lapse into silence. Jasper clearly thinking an' me, just stunned.
After a while I mentally re-group an' take the opportunity to watch him. He's so beautiful, even flung into a grotty motel armchair. His long jean clad legs are stretched out in front of him an' his arms are draped over the sides of the chair, his dark blue windcheater rustling quietly when he moves. His face is turned away from me slightly as he frowns at the door, totally lost in thought. I know every inch of his body, every scar, every hair, and every sensitive spot. If I had any talent for it I could sculpt him perfectly with my eyes closed. And I know him, I might not know every single thing he's ever done or every single thought he's ever had, but I know the essential parts of what makes him. It may have been dangerous and wrong for him to reveal himself to humans that way but the reasons he did were still very much him. Which is why I trust him completely, just like Pete does. No, I'm not angry with him and there's nothing to be gained by pretending I am. Does that make me a door mat? I don't think so, to me it just means acknowledging my trust in the man I love to the very depths of my soul. Yes he kept a secret, he had a reason. Yes his actions in the past may have led us to wherever here is but they were in character with the man I love. How can you love what he is and resent what he does because of it? And if he has other secrets, which I suspect he does, then I will respect his right to keep them and trust him to tell us what we need to know.
I laugh to myself, it might not be very modern woman but it works for me an' I'm not sure a mated vampire qualifies as a modern woman anyway.
My anger hasn't gone but it's no longer directed at Jasper and I feel better as a result. Now what was the other part of Petey's advice? Oh yes, make with the happies.
Stealthily I crawl off the bed and across the floor to Jasper's feet. He doesn't look at me but his frown relaxes an' the corner of his mouth twitches.
I untie his laces and ease off his boots, taking the chance to run my hands under his jeans and up and down his calves. I sigh happily, just being in contact with his skin is enough to soothe me. Such silky skin, moving easily with my fingers over the solid muscles.
Reluctantly I withdraw my hands and crawl further up his body. He turns to face me as I grasp the zipper of his windcheater. His face is expressionless but his eyes are black with desire. I pull the zipper down quickly an' open the jacket flattening my hands onto his chest and feeling the play of his muscles through his t-shirt as my palms move over him.
Playfully I tweak his right nipple and he gasps, slipping down further into the chair and resting his head back against it. Rising up a bit further I trace my nose along the underside of his jaw, breathing in his hay and saddle soap scent. As I continue to nuzzle his neck I start to pull his jacket from his shoulder and he leans forwards briefly, shrugging it off his arms which he drapes back over the sides of the chair. Ah, short sleeves, I drop my head to rub my nose across his chest while my fingers glide lightly over his forearms, first feeling the silky soft hairs and then more firmly feeling the skin glide over the muscles as he flexes them unconsciously. I pass my mouth over his left nipple and bite down momentarily. He moans quietly and arches his back.
I crawl further down his body until my lips are brushing over his t-shirt just above his low slung jeans and I run my hands up and down his hard thighs. I continue this for a while, enjoying the firmness of his thighs until he groans and pushes his hips up against me. With a last kiss on his abdomen I lean back slightly and unbutton his fly, pulling his jeans off with vampire efficiency. He lifts his head to look down at me and I immediately fall into the Jasper coma, nothing else matters but him, and me, together.
I place a soft kiss on his tip and then lap at the moisture already there. He moans and lets his head fall back.
"Look at me." I whisper huskily.
When he obeys I lick up and down him slowly, moving one hand to cup his balls and the other to trace the movement of my tongue on him.
"Bella." He groans, his redundant breathing heavy.
I take his tip into my mouth and suck on it gently before swirling my tongue around it. As I release it and blow across the top he closes his eyes and groans again in pleasure.
"Look at me." I tell him.
He opens his eyes and stares deeply into mine.
Satisfied I take him back into my mouth, sucking him in slowly as far as I can with a moan of my own as his whole body shudders. He tastes divine and his reactions are setting off the warmth inside me.
I release him just as slowly before sucking him in again, this time I scrape him gently with my teeth and squeeze the base of his cock with my hand. My other hand continues to massage his balls while my index finger lightly strokes the sensitive skin behind them.
With a strange combination of a hiss and a growl he fists his hands in my hair.
"Ungh. Bella."
I start to repeat the actions, each time taking him in a little further and sucking him a little harder. Gradually increasing the tempo as his hands copy it clenching and unclenching in my hair.
Eventually his eyes close and his head falls back again a stream of barely recognisable words falling from his lips. My lady parts begin to flutter, I love that I can do this to him.
"Love . . . . oh fuck . . . . need . . . . don't stop . . . . please . . . . darlin' . . . . so good, so . . . . god . . . . Bella . . . ."
His back arches, pushing him deeper into my mouth and his body starts to tremble. I moan again, almost unbearably turned on as I feel his cock harden suddenly and then twitch and jerk as he releases down my throat with a primal roar.
"BELLA!"
Smirking I lick him clean as his tremors subside and his hands caress my hair. Finished I crawl back up his body as he pushes himself upright in the chair until I am on my knees between his legs. Leaning down, he kisses me, hard.
Grabbing my hair again he pulls my face closer to his and dominates my mouth with his lips and probing tongue.
"Jasper." I moan when he finally releases me.
Without a word he stands, lifting me up and swinging me onto the bed before kneeling between my legs. His black eyes bore into mine from a face literally twisted with desire. The sight starts a deep ache within me and I unconsciously raise my hips towards him.
He drops forwards onto one arm the other rubbing roughly at my jeans between my thighs.
"Your jeans are soakin' darlin'." He drawls, withdrawing his hand and running it over his nose and mouth, inhaling deeply and groaning.
"I want you." He growls, dropping his hand back and cupping me through my jeans. "Now."
Automatically I grind up into his hand causing him to rub the hard fabric against my sensitive skin. "Please." I almost whimper.
Without a word he rips my jeans and my panties from my body in one clean movement and lifts my legs up onto his broad shoulders.
He pauses staring down at me intently. "I love you." He says. "An' your scent makes me fuckin' crazy."
With a sudden lunge he drives into me, filling me completely and raising my hips from the bed, I gasp and instantly his mouth is on mine, his tongue moving with mine in perfect time with his fast deep thrusts. Over and over he plunges into me, his mouth capturing my pointless breath and every uncontrollable sound that escapes me. My hands roam restlessly across his back, sometimes feeling the movement of his powerful muscles as he thrusts into me and sometimes digging into him reflexively.
I have no concept of time passing, only the inexorable heat building within me and the tightening of every muscle in my body as if I'm being wound like a trebuchet.
Eventually Jasper releases my mouth dropping his lips to his mark on my neck and panting harshly against it as he thrusts into me harder and deeper, my hips rising to meet him with an urgency that matches his own.
"Oh god Bella, I'm gonna cum inside you, oh god." He moans.
"Jasper." I gasp, my fingers digging into him as he words push me closer to the edge.
Suddenly he bites down on his mark and I scream his name in ecstasy, the fire and tension exploding within me as the first wave of my orgasm crashes over me and my entire body goes rigid.
He continues to drive into me, drawing out my high before roaring his own release, his body convulsing with mine until, spent, he collapses on top of me.
"I wish I could find the words to tell you how much I love you." He groans, rolling onto his back and pulling me with him so that my head is resting on his chest.
I press my lips to his heart scar. "I know." I murmur.
We bask in the silence and our closeness for a while.
"Jasper." I mumble into this chest. "How did the secret service know we were in New York? Because Jenks didn't."