Chapter 4! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 11, 1994

I woke the next morning to the smell of breakfast. I got dressed and ran to the kitchen. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Remus at the stove.

"Thanks, Remus." I said, smiling. I ignored Sirius' laughter as I sat down.

"You thought I was cooking, didn't you?" Sirius teased. I scowled at him and rolled my eyes.

"Well, if you weren't such a horrible cook, I wouldn't have to worry about it, would I? Good morning, Harry." I greeted the grinning boy.

"Morning. This is really good." He said, indicating his plate. I smiled.

"I agree. Remus is horrible at Potions, but he's a wonderful cook." A hand reached down and set a plate in front of me and I smiled up at Remus before turning to my breakfast.

"Hurry up. We still have to go shopping today." I ordered. "You can stay and fix your room up, or you can come with us if you want Remus." I told him.

"Vegs, I know how to shop. I can do it myself." Sirius complained. "Please. I promise not to play any pranks for the rest of the day and I also promise to buy appropriate clothing."

"But..." I began.

"You finalized my freedom with the ministry?" I nodded reluctantly.

"Yes."

"You got our vault unlocked?"

"Yes." I said again, sighing. "Harry, do you mind?" I asked, turning to him. He glanced over my shoulder and I saw amusement flash through his emerald eyes. "Do not listen to whatever Sirius is telling you." I said easily. I felt Sirius' amusement flash through our link and Harry grin.

"I don't mind." Harry assured me. I snorted and grinned wryly as he added: "Promise."

"I suppose that's my reward for telling you the promise trick too early. Alright, fine. You two can go by yourselves." I said, rolling my eyes. Sirius and Harry cheered and I laughed. "Wonderful, it's my destiny to be outnumbered by Gryffindor males. First the Marauders, then Harry and Ron, and now you three." I teased. "Alright, well I'm done so I'm heading to the library." I said easily. I pointed my wand at the dishes, said two spells under my breath, and they became clean and put themselves away instantly. I kissed Harry on the top of the head and gave Sirius a peck on the cheek before heading to the library. I settled down with a book for about two hours before I got restless. I headed out to the hallway and caught sight of the name plate on my door.

Vegalynn Black
Lynnie
Vegs
Kitten
Star

I smiled. My name and then my nicknames in the order of who called me what most. Remus, Peter, Sirius and then James. My marauder name, Starfoot, was shortened by James to just Star because of my love of watching the night sky. I looked across the hall.

Sirius Black
Padfoot
Sirius
Siri
Paddy

I smiled and moved to the door next to Sirius'. For the first time, I saw a change. It used to read:

James Potter
Prongs
James
Prongs
Jamie

Now it read:

Harry Potter
Son of Prongs and Lils
Son of Jamie and Emerald
Son of James and Lily
Cub
Marauder name not yet determined

I chuckled.

"Ah, Sirius." I murmured. I moved across the hall to the door next to my room.

Lily Evans
Lily
Evans
Lils
Lily Flower
(Sorry Lily, but they did it while I was asleep) Emerald

I smiled as I remembered her reaction to her door. She had stood there for a moment before bursting into laughter. I'd been completely shocked until she'd confided her changing feelings for James. It'd been the summer after sixth year, before Remus and I had gotten together. I moved down to the door next to Lily's and sighed.

Remus Lupin
Rem
Remus
Moony
The badly behaved rabbit

I smiled sadly. The last line had been a joke of James'; referring to what people thought caused the scratches that Remus always got after the full moon. I stood there for a moment before turning to examine the door across from Remus'.

Peter Pettigrew
Peter
Pete
Wormy
Wormtail

I sighed. I'd have to go through that room and pack his stuff up. Just like I'd have to do with Lily's, except I'd give Lily's stuff to Harry. I knew that the rest of the nameplates would be blank, waiting for someone to fill them. I flicked my wand and Peter's name plate changed to one that said: Unoccupied. I flicked my wand again without looking and knew that Lily's had done the same. I bowed my head for a moment before turning. I ran straight into Remus, who caught me without a word. I looked up at him. His eyes were unreadable.

"Do you remember how happy we all were back then? How close we all were?" I asked him softly. He nodded, eyes shielded. "If you'd told me back then that things would turn out the way they have, I'd have checked you into Saint Mungo's. It's amazing how things change, how people grow apart. Amazing, but so terrible. I wish things were back to the way they used to be." I smiled softly, sadly, moving away. I moved down the hall toward the library. I was at the door to my room when Remus caught up to me. He grabbed me, pulling me against him and putting my back against my door quickly. It happened so fast that one second I was walking down the hall, the next I was in Remus' arms, flush against all of his body, back against my door. I let out a startled gasp before meeting his eyes. His eyes were shadowed and I couldn't make out the emotions that were whirling in them. My heart was beating furiously and I was breathless, being so close to him.

"Vega." His voice was hoarse, more than usual. My eyes fluttered and I bit my lip at the sensations that his voice caused, especially with my body crushed against his, and his gaze dropped to my mouth. He bent down and captured my lips with his. I moaned and used him for support as my legs turned wobbly. I pulled him towards me until we couldn't get any closer. He ravished my mouth, kissing me for all he was worth as I did the same to him. All too soon in my opinion, he pulled back. His eyes were filled with uncertainty. They closed briefly before he pushed himself away and hurried to his room. I stood there, leaning against my door, heart racing. I closed my eyes before turning and going into my room. It took a few minutes to turn the handle because my hands were shaking. I lit the fireplace, still shaking. I lay on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"What the bloody hell was that?" I muttered to myself, putting a hand to my delightfully bruised mouth. I sighed and closed my eyes. I dreamed, but it wasn't dreams so much as memories.

"Cheer up, Siri. We're not like them, you and me. We're different. Can you imagine mum's face if we're sorted into Gryffindor?" I asked. He grinned slightly. The thought amused him. "Come on, you know I don't lie. Our family does enough of that for all of us. Think about it. You and me in a world of red and gold. I bet we could do it. They might even let us take the test together since we're twins." He grinned brighter. Then, the door opened. A boy with messy black hair and hazel eyes with glasses opened the door.

"Can I sit here? We got here late and everywhere else is either full or has people that I know and don't like in it." I smiled.

"Sure, c'mon in. I'm Vega and this is Sirius."

"James." The boy said, putting his stuff in the rack. He ran a hand through his hair quickly, sitting.

"Your hair's messy enough, why do you want to mess it up more?" Sirius asked. I stomped on his foot hard. He yelped. "What was that for?" He demanded.

"That was rude." I said simply.

"It's alright," James said, a small smile flashing across his face. "It's a nervous habit. I mess with my hair when I'm nervous. It never lies flat so I figure my messing with it won't hurt any."

"Do you play quidditch?" Sirius asked. I groaned to myself as the two began an in-depth conversation about teams and rules and things. Then, the door opened again and a boy with sandy brown hair and amber eyes opened the door and timidly asked to sit with us. He was shy and kept to himself, at least until I got bored and started pestering him. I asked him what he thought the classes would be like, what he thought the teachers would be like and which house he thought he'd be sorted into.

"Black, Sirius!" Professor McGonagall called. I squeezed Siri's hand reassuringly and he flashed me a small nervous grin. He moved forward confidently and put the hat on his head. It stayed there for a bit, which interested everyone in the hall. Shouldn't a Black instantly be put in Slytherin? Then, the hat opened it's mouth (brim?).

"GRYFFINDOR!" I saw the Slytherin's eyes widen in shock and it was several moments before the Gryffindors began cheering.

"Black, Vegalynn!" McGonagall called. I breathed deeply and then squared my shoulders, gliding forward confidently. The hat covered my eyes.

"Ah, Miss. Black. How curious your generation is. There is no doubt at all where you belong. GRYFFINDOR!"

It was a year later and Sirius, James, Peter and I had our heads together.

"...figured it out by looking at a calendar." Sirius was saying.

"It doesn't matter to me and if it does to you three than you're bigoted idiots and I'm ashamed to be your friend." I said, glaring.

"It doesn't to me either, Vega, but we can't just go up to him and say: Oh hey Remus, how's it going? Oh, we have Transfiguration in five minutes and by the way, we know you're a werewolf." James said sarcastically. We heard a thump and whirled around. Remus had dropped his trunk on the ground and was staring at us in shock. "Or... maybe we can." James said slowly.

"I...um...I..." Remus stuttered. I got up and moved forward, wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt him stiffen in my arms, probably from shock, before sinking into my embrace, wrapping his arms around me.

"It doesn't matter to us, Remus." James said. I felt Sirius' agreement through our link just before his voiced agreement, followed by Peter's.

"Moony." Sirius piped up. I turned my head to look at him from Remus' arms and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

"Moony. It's Remus' nickname. He howls at the moon, so he's Moony." Sirius repeated. "Besides," he said, grinning devilishly. "People will think he's mooned someone and that'll be fun." I tilted my head.

"We'll all need nicknames." I pointed out. Sirius shook his head.

"You've already given us all nicknames. I'm Siri, Peter's Pete, James is Jamie." He pointed out.

"And Remus is Rem. Those don't count." I objected. He shrugged.

"We'll figure something out." Remus said, finally speaking up.

"Yes, we will." I agreed confidently. He smiled down at me timidly and I was suddenly reminded of how he'd looked the first time we'd met. I beamed up at him confidently and his smile grew wider.

"I figured it out!" I whispered hurriedly. They all looked to me excitedly. "Think about it. Werewolves are harmful to humans! Humans!" I exclaimed. Sirius and James' brows furrowed. Remus looked reluctant but he was curious. Suddenly James, who excelled in Transfiguration, figured it out.

"Animagi!" James exclaimed. I nodded eagerly and Sirius let out a whoop of excitement as he realized what we meant.

"We can do it, I know we can. Then, we can go with Remus during the full moon and he won't be able to hurt us." I said eagerly.

"What if something goes wrong while you're learning? Or what if you lose control of the form during the full moon? What if someone finds out?" Remus asked worriedly. "Guys, don't do it. It's illegal. You guys could get in big trouble." He pleaded. He couldn't convince us though, our minds were made up. He realized that a minutes later as his shoulders slumped.

"Are you sure we can do it?" Peter asked nervously. I smiled gently.

"Don't worry, Pete. We'll do this together." I said confidently. "Together we can do anything."

I smiled as I watched James watching Lily. He'd developed a crush on her during the middle of last year and he was about to ask her out. He ruffled his hair nervously and walked up. Then, he forgot everything I'd told him.

"Hey Evans!" He called loudly. Everyone turned to watch and he ruffled his hair again. "Go to Hogsmeade with me?" He asked. She glared at him.

"As if, Potter." She said, turning away. I saw his shoulders slump slightly but he shrugged nonchalantly like it didn't bother him. I watched him walk over to talk to Sirius, who was concerned but wouldn't admit it, and sighed. That was why I'd never tell Remus how I felt. I wouldn't be able to be as strong as to face rejection.

I smiled brightly, completely fake, as Amos went on and on and on. He wouldn't shut up about himself. He was completely vane. I was relieved when our food came and he was eating. Lily had set me up on this date and I'd get her back for this. Luckily, he was good enough to eat with his mouth closed. I gaped and then struggled to keep a straight face as his hair turned green and his robes turned pink. He noticed that his appearance was less than perfect almost immediately. He ran from the bar, yelling hysterically. I lost control and burst into laughter the second he was out of sight. Then, I saw James, Sirius, Peter and Remus sitting in the corner. I got up and went over, still chuckling. I slid in between Remus and Sirius.

"Thanks guys! You're all life-savers. Honestly, I don't know what Emerald was thinking, setting me up with that pretty boy." I saw the surprised look on James' face and knew that Sirius had been planning to sabotage my date even if I'd had a good time. I rolled my eyes. "But," I began warningly. "If you guys ever sabotage a good date, you'll most definitely regret it." They all gulped and I smiled sweetly as I ordered another plate of food.

I transformed back into a human and let out a whoop of delight.

"I did it!" I exclaimed. I was an animagus! Remus looked overjoyed for me and picked me up, swinging me around. I laughed delightedly. He realized what he was doing and immediately set me down. Sirius ran right up, taking his turn at trying to make me dizzy. James did the same. Peter just smiled sadly. I could see that he was depressed. While the boys had managed everything but the head and everything at once, Peter had only just managed to get his body changed before I'd managed to change fully. It'd looked silly, his head on the ground while a rat's body flailed around in the air. We'd laughed, but that'd only depressed him further. I immediately sent the boys back to practicing while I helped Pete. Within days, the others had managed the transformation as well, including Peter, though he was the last to do so. He thanked me profusely. We'd all worked so hard that we threw a party in the Common Room. No one questioned it; we were the Marauders after all. Lily asked me what we were celebrating and I just yelled that we were celebrating a victory against oppression. She didn't say anything after that. I think she already knew, even then.

SAME YEAR

I was pale and shaking. I couldn't believe Sirius had done that. I couldn't believe that he'd tell Sev how to get to Remus.

"How could you?! He's my friend, Sirius, and you almost got him killed! Not to mention that Remus would've never been able to live with himself, and he wouldn't have had to for long because they would've killed him for being a werewolf that had killed or bitten someone." I screamed, tears rolling from my eyes. He looked away guiltily and I narrowed my eyes. For the first time since second year, when I'd first developed feelings for Remus and didn't want him to know, I opened the emotional barrier between us fully. I felt him stumble back as the wave of my emotions over came him. I stayed still for a full minute before closing the barrier and running out of the empty common room. I ran to the hospital wing. James had said they'd already told Remus. I headed to him, he'd need me. "Miffy, I need chocolate for Remus." I whispered. Miffy was the house elf that adored me. Immediately, a chocolate bar appeared in my hand. I ran on, only stopping once I'd reached the door. I opened it.

"Go away, Black, I don't want to hear it." Remus' voice came from a bed. I turned and saw him facing away from me. Hurt overwhelmed me. He didn't want to see me. Then, my senses came back, suppressing the hurt I'd felt. Sirius had hurt him. Sirius, who had the same last name as me.

"Are you talking about my brother or me?" I asked. I had to know if I was right. He whipped around, eyes disbelieving.

"Why are you here? Didn't you hear that I almost killed your friend?" He asked, voice hoarse. I raised an eyebrow and moved forward to sit in the chair next to the bed.

"I heard that my dear brother almost offered up my friend to Moony, who almost killed him. I fail to see how my best friend Rem has anything to do with it." I said, offering him the chocolate bar. He took it tentatively.

"Thank you." He breathed, barely above a whisper. I knew he hadn't accepted the fact that he wasn't at fault, just like he knew that I wouldn't budge on the point that he wasn't. We sat in silence as he ate. When it was time for classes, I was reluctant to go. I kissed his forehead and said goodbye, leaving the hospital wing.

SAME YEAR

I was holding Lily as she cried into my chest. I glared into the fire. How dare he? He knew how sensitive Lily was about the prejudice and to hear him say it must have been the worst. Then, Mary MacDonald came into the room.

"Lily? Snape's outside. He's threatening to sleep outside if you don't come out to talk to him." I could tell that Lily was debating whether or not to let him sleep outside.

"Lily, as much as you're angry with him, if he goes through with that and the boys find him in the morning..." I didn't have to finish that statement. I cast a glamour charm on her face and waited in the common room while she went out to meet him.

How could he? Unfortunately, I didn't lie to myself. I knew why. His pride had been hurt at the fact that he couldn't defend himself and that he had to have a girl, and a girl he loved at that, protect him. I knew that I would forgive him by the time the school year rolled around, but I also knew that Lily probably never would.

Just then, the boys came down the stairs, laughing and joking. I ignored them and their questioning stares and concentrated on the portrait hole, pacing. A few minutes later, I saw Sirius start to open his mouth to question me when Lily stumbled in. When she saw me, she burst into tears and I swooped over, gathering her in my arms. I waved my wand, dispelling the glamour charm. I ignored the boys' exclamations and half dragged, half carried her up the girls' stairs, murmuring comforting words the whole time.

I ran to our compartment and jumped into Sirius' arms. He'd gone to James' and I'd gone to Lily's. It was the first time we'd been apart for more than a day. He hugged me close.

"For Merlin's sake, you'd think one of you had been kidnapped!" James exclaimed, grinning. I stuck my tongue out at him but didn't let go of Sirius. It wasn't until the train was halfway to Hogwarts that we let go of each other.

SAME YEAR

"Well," Sirius questioned, standing nervously. "What do you think?" I stared in silence, wide-eyed. I could only nod in response.

"C'mon, Star, you're worrying Padfoot." James joked, though I could hear the nervousness in his voice. He was waiting to know what I thought as well. I spun around, leaping into Sirius' arms. I thanked him over and over again before dashing up to the door of the house and exploring the rooms. It was magically enlarged inside. I had my very own home. Best Christmas present EVER!!!

We were laughing at a joke that James had just told when Lily walked up to us.

"Can I talk to you guys?" She asked nervously. She glanced around. "In private?" She clarified. All of the boys were shocked speechless and frozen but I nodded and gestured for the boys to follow us as I led her up the boys' stairs to the seventh year dorm. I locked and silenced the door once everyone was in and we all watched Lily.

"What'd you need, Emerald?" I prompted when she was silent. She fidgeted.

"I just thought you guys should know that...that I...know." She glanced at me helplessly and then glanced at Remus. My jaw dropped.

"Oh." I said quietly. I stared at her. "How long?" I asked.

"How long what?" James asked, confused.

"I'm not exactly sure. Maybe a little more or less than three years." She said, fidgeting. "I'm so sorry, Vega, I wasn't snooping, I swear." She blurted out desperately. I ran a hand through my hair with a sigh.

"I understand, Emerald. You're a brilliant witch and I figured you'd find out sooner or later, I just don't know how they're going to react." She bowed her head.

"I'm sorry, Remus." She mumbled. He looked shocked.

"Sorry for WHAT?" Sirius exclaimed. Lily didn't look ready to speak so I explained.

"Emerald knows that Rem's a werewolf. She's known for a little more or a little less than three years." James and Sirius' jaws dropped and Remus turned pale. Lily glanced up quickly before glancing down again.

"I am sorry, Remus, I didn't mean to pry." She said clearly. His jaw dropped.

"Emerald, maybe you better give him a hug so he'll know you're not scared of him." I suggested. She gave me a confused look.

"Why would I be scared of him?" She asked incredulously. I smiled, amused.

"Remus believes himself to be a monster. He insists that if anyone found out that they would be scared of him and shun him. We figured it out between first and second year and told him we knew on the train going to Hogwarts for second year." I explained. She rounded on Remus, hands on her hips.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" She yelled. "You wouldn't hurt a fly and just because you turn hairy once a month doesn't mean you're a monster, you idiotic wolf! If I ever hear you say that, I'll show you scary!" She yelled. I sat there, grinning, while Remus cowered. "Now, say 'yes, Lily'." She ordered.

"Yes, Lily." He said meekly. The boys and I burst into laughter as she nodded her approval.

"Good boy." She said, satisfied. That caused Sirius, James and I to laugh even harder while Remus blushed, though a grin on his face showed his happiness.

SAME YEAR

"Vega," he said. I stopped short at the tone. It was completely blank, free of emotion. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. He always showed some emotion, but he was completely blank now. "Listen, I think we should break up." My heart broke as my head repeated the words over and over.

"Why?" I asked, voice going blank. I couldn't let him see how much I hurt. He looked away.

"Look, I like you as a friend but not any more than that. I don't want you to develop feelings for me and have me not return those feelings. This...for me this was just an act of being normal, a chance to be normal for once in my life, but I can't pretend anymore because we'll be going out into the real world soon and there's no pretending I'm normal once I'm out there. I'm sorry." He walked away, not looking back. I sank into the seat behind me, clutching my heart which was being torn into little pieces. A few minutes later, Sirius ran into the room. He'd felt my pain, it was too much to hide behind any shield. I stared into the fire, not moving.

"Vega?" Sirius asked. I turned towards him and at his look of concern, I felt a tear slip down my cheek. Then, I was telling him everything that'd happened in the last few minutes. He comforted me and then I went upstairs. Luckily, we didn't have classes anymore. I'd get to wallow.

I was woke up by someone shaking me. I woke instantly. I didn't want to remember the flashbacks/dreams that I'd been experiencing. Sirius hovered above me.

"Lunch is ready." He said. I nodded and rolled out of bed. "Nightmare?" He asked. I could tell he was talking about my feelings during the dream. I considered it for a minute.

"No, it wasn't bad but it wasn't good either." I said. He nodded, accepting it. He exited the room and I followed. I entered the room and sat down to eat. Harry grinned at me and I smiled back.

"Did you have a good day?" I asked. He nodded.

"Sirius bought me a whole new wardrobe. He said you'd want to burn Dudley's old things." I grinned.

"I do indeed." I agreed. "Did you buy yourself a whole wardrobe too?" I asked.

"Yes, Vega. Two whole new wardrobes, one for each of us." Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not a baby, Vegs." I scoffed.

"I know you aren't, you're a teenager." Remus and Harry burst into laughter while Sirius scowled. I grinned at him sweetly.

"Alright, alright. Oh, Harry, I was looking at the doors today and I remembered that while we've given you James' things, we haven't even gone through Lily's. There will be girly things, which I'll put away, but you can have anything you want." Harry beamed.

"Thanks!" He exclaimed eagerly. I nodded, smiling. I knew how much he'd appreciate it, since all he used to have was the photos Hagrid had given him.

"Alright, well, I'm going to go straighten up the rooms. Thanks for lunch, Remus." I left the kitchen, heading to the living room.