Chapter 04: Do Not Leave A Child Behind

'Over here!' Josh yelled. Cameron looked his way and saw several bodies laying around on the floor. Someone had found a large warehouse where several people would be staying. Bodies had been seen on several photos. And indeed, there were bodies. Only the bodies were not alive anymore. The smell of freshly burned flesh and bones was still the in the air. Cameron even imagined she heard several people scream of pain and despair. Skynet had found them before the Resistance had.
'Look for survivors,' John said and walked into the warehouse. Several corpses of T-800's were also scattered around the floor, but it probably did not matter that much. In total four groups were now looking around in the warehouse. Derek had first claimed that it would be unsafe to go outside with twenty-seven people at once. But John had insisted on it. Four times six people of one team and three medics. Cameron looked around, placing her scarf again before her mouth. The stench was so deep, so dead, so horrible, she could barely keep herself from hurling. She had never seen so many dead people in one place. Suddenly she saw something moving, or was it just her? No, she could see it again! Something, no, someone was moving! Quickly she ran to the small piece of what used to be an entire human one day.
'I found someone!' she yelled and fell on her knees, throwing her gun down beside her. She was shocked by what she saw. There was a little boy, or at least what was left it him, lying on the ground. He looked at her, but there was no clear expression in his eyes. He had lost his left leg and the rest of his body was also badly wounded. He was bleeding from almost every inch on his body. He was shaking, but did not seem to feel the pain. One of the medics sat down on the other side of the boy. She looked at him and looked back at the boy. Cameron shook her head, she would not except it.
'Tell me?' John's voice came from behind her. He spoke careful and softer than normal.
'I don't know-' the medic began and looked at the boy again.
'He'll make it,' Cameron said and looked over her shoulder, 'He will.'
'Cameron,' Derek tried to ease her down, but he did not know what to say.
'No, he will, Derek,' she said and stood up, looking the uncle and the nephew in their eyes.
'And you know?' John said before he even knew it.
'Yes, I know!' she snapped, 'He can survive and if he is still living right now, he can survive another day and another.'
'Look at him you can't ask him to go and live like this,' John said, with pity in his eyes while he looked at the boy.
'You cannot leave a child behind to suffer, Conner,' she said, then she saw a look in his eyes, 'Or are you going to shoot him?'
'What!' John said, but he knew the idea had indeed come into his mind.
'To safe him from his pain!' Cameron could feel a fire starting to burn in her.
'No,' John said loud and clear.
'John, the Savior,' she said dramatically, 'even saving children from their pain.'
'That's enough, Cameron,' he said, 'I know when children cannot be saved.'
'Just like last time!' she had said if before she even knew it.
'What-' Kyle asked, but before he could say anything else Cameron turned around and hit him with her fist. Right in his face. John immediately grabbed her waist and pulled it up. Leaving her standing on her toes.
'That's enough!' he hissed close to her face. He probably knew what she was talking about.
'We can go,' the medic said and when they looked, they saw she closed the eyes of the boy. He had passed away while they were fighting over him. John let Cameron go. Cameron just looked at the boy. She felt so sorry for him. She could have helped him. She should have. Cameron turned around and looked at John. For a moment he looked at her than he turned around and walked away.
'I'm sorry,' Cameron said when she looked at Kyle. His lip was bleeding. But he smiled at her.
'Lucky it's not me eye,' he said, 'Don't worry, I'll be just fine.'
'Good,' she smiled at him. He patted her on her back and they walked back to the vans.

'Cameron, could you please come with me,' Blair Williams walked up to Cameron and her team, as she just pulled on her sweater. It was now getting winter and the temperature was getting colder. A bit startled Cameron looked at her team. They just raised their eyebrows. Blair was most of the time who got people to come with her to John Conner and the Council. Even more with such a serious face.
'Is this about me hitting Kyle? He already said that did not matter,' she immediately defended herself. Blair did not smile or move any muscle.
'Please, come with me,' she said again.
'Ok,' Cameron said and followed Blair downstairs.

'Cameron, sit down please,' Lieutenant Barnes said. Blair indeed led Cameron down to the Council, which could not mean very much good. Carefully she stepped in. Before she could sit down, Blair would search her for any weapons. She only had her Jericho on her and gave it to Blair. Nothing further. Cameron looked at John's face. He did not look at her, he just glared around. Sitting in his chair. Finally everyone sat down. Blair stood behind Cameron. Cameron did not feel comfortable. She felt her muscles yoke, slowly but she felt it. Finally Lieutenant Barnes began, with his deep dark voice.
'Do you know, why you are here, again?' he said, looking straight in her eyes.
'No,' she said, 'But if this is about what happened to Kyle?'
'Kyle?' another man on the council looked a bit questioning at her.
'I hit him,' she said, half explaining half ashamed. Thank heavens he was not there.
'I see,' the same man said. Cameron was a bit astonished she did not know his name.
'No, that is not why you are here,' Barnes said, but before he could speak anymore John stood up.
'Leave us,' he said, 'All of you.'
'But, John,' Barnes said. John looked at him and than back to Cameron.
'Leave us,' he simply said again. Barnes doubted and Derek was the first to stand up.
'Alright,' he simply said, trusting his nephew completely. When he stood up, several others followed him.
'Fine,' Barnes said and walked out as the last one.
Cameron did not dare to ask John what he wanted of her. Did he know? Did someone tell him? He sighed and walked around the other side of the room for a moment. Closing his eyes. Trying to hold things together. He had to ask, he had to. It was just so damn hard to think about it again. To be confronted with it. But he had to! He had to, because of her. Finally he took a deep breath and sat down. The room was silent and pretty dark.
'How are you?' he asked. Cameron narrowed her eyes and looked at him. Was he serious?
'Just fine, thank you,' she said, not knowing if it was her turn to ask how he was.
'Good, good,' he said. It as silent, John just looked at him.
'Why am I here?' she asked after a while.
'Because of what you said lately,' John said and noticed it might be easier to talk about it than he thought.
'What did I say?' Cameron said when John did not tell her.
'Remember lately? At the warehouse. With that kid, you said: 'You cannot leave a child behind'.'
'No, I said: 'You cannot leave a child behind to suffer',' she corrected him, remembering the day.
'But after that,' he looked at her, she knew what was coming, 'You said: 'Just like last time'.'
'Yes,' she said soft, not knowing if she had to explain herself. She played a bit with her nails.
'Why?' he asked her. She looked up and saw his fierce eyes. He knew.
'Don't you want to tell me?' she dared him.
'Don't, don't do that,' he said and fell back in his chair.
'Do what?' now she was getting in control.
'Raise all your hairs and attack,' he said, grabbing back control, 'You know what I'm talking about.'

'Can you hear what they're saying?' Barnes said as they stood outside the door. The others shook their head.
'Nope,' one of them said, 'But as long as I don't hear gunshots, I'm not going in.'
'None of is,' Barnes said and they turned silence again.

'And so do you!' she said, slow and clear.
'Don't give me a big attitude!' he said, jumping up and smashing his fist on the table.
'And you're who to tell me!' she dared him and jumped up herself.
'I am your father!' it was out before he knew it. Cameron was silent for one second, than she recovered.
'And why do you think so?'
'Because of what you said,' John said, lowering his voice a bit.
'Perhaps I just knew your child,' she tried.
'But you know, as the only one,' John sat down in his chair.
'How do you know?' she asked, slowly sitting down in her chair again herself.
'Amy and Jethro,' he began summing up, 'your fierce reaction and above all: Katherine.'
'I thought her name was Kate,' Cameron gave in.
'Officially Katherine,' John looked at the girl on the other side of the table, 'Only her parents still called her like that.'
'Why?' Cameron had to know.
'Because it was our only choice,' he said.
'I beg your pardon?' Cameron said astonished, 'So why did you keep Kyle?'
'I did not keep Kyle, he's not a pet!' John snapped.
'Because he's a boy?' she hissed.
'No!' John yelled.
'Than tell me!' Cameron yelled back.
'Because,' John sighed, 'because it was the safest thing to do.'
'Fuck you,' she hissed and stood up.
'Let me explain!' John said. Cameron stood still for a moment and than sat down again.
'Try me,' she dared him.
'Your mother was very weak during her pregnancy, and we already feared for her live,' John said, with a soft voice, 'She already knew she was not going to make it. And she did not want that her child was raised at the HQ. She wanted her child to have some sort of youth, something Kyle never had.'
'But she died,' Cameron said, it sounded harder than she mend it.
'Yes,' John said and tried not to cry, 'She died. She said your name and died.'
'Why Cameron?' she asked, since Kyle was named after John's father.
'We hoped you would be a protector, just like the cyborg who protected us for years,' John explained.
'I see,' Cameron said, 'But why did you not ever come for me?'
'I could not,' John said honest, 'I came once, when you were very small. But you looked so much like your mother, I could not bare it.'
'So, you just ditched me with your parents-in-law,' she said, this she mend hard.
'No,' John said, 'I could not take care of you and I wanted you to have some sort of a youth.'
'A youth?' Cameron laughed sarcastically, 'A youth? There is no such thing as 'youth' nowadays.'
'I wanted it for you,' John said fatherly, 'I wanted the best for my child.'
'I am not your child!' she said.
'Cameron,' he tried.
'No, my mother was Katherine, but she died and I never met my father who abounded us,' she stood up, 'Good day Conner.'

'Eavesdroppers,' she hissed as she opened the door and several Council members jumped back. Without looking at them she ran up the stairs. A bit confused they looked into the room. John just looked at them and would not explain. After all these years, he had finally met the child he had lost so many years ago. And instead of and excited exception, she had turned him down the hard way. Perhaps this was for the best. Perhaps this was what Kate had wanted. No, John knew better. Kate wanted nothing more than a happy family. A happy family, what was he thinking! As long as Skynet was still around there was no thing as 'happy'. The girl, his daughter, knew that. She knew that as no one. And she was afraid to get hurt again.