Chapter 7

AAR

0800 hours. The squadron comes in after morning PT and chow to the briefing room. We hold a group AAR, or After Action Review, of the mission myself and the Major flew. The two of us had been debriefed individually, but the Air Force likes to make a point of pointing out all the "sustains" (things that went right) and "improves" (things you fucked up) about every mission. In a cold, typically military fashion, we chose to blame the intel folks for the civilians who died in the attack.

"See man, you followed the intel to the letter. The Air Force doesn't ask anything more of you." Lieutenant Brian Haybeck. Academy buddy and boy scout. He always sits next to me during briefings, trying to ease me into talking with him like we used to. We didn't talk like buddies anymore.

"Is this some big squadron wide effort to make me feel better?"

"Jeez Russ, if you're gonna be such an ass about it then never mind."

"Sorry man, it's just been a lot to swallow."

"Yeah don't worry about it." He limply pats me on the shoulder.

The Lieutenant Colonel, our squadron commander, wraps up the AAR and moves on to our upcoming mission. He assigns myself and Major Lewel as the main effort and puts Brian and his wingman on Ready Five, to scramble their jets in case of an emergency. This is as much as I hear before I begin drifting focus toward Brian, attentively taking notes on the mission he wouldn't even be flying. He was always like that.

It's freshman year at the academy. The bus that picked me up from the airport comes to a halt in front of the main campus and upperclassmen rush aboard yelling expletive after expletive at the new group of freshman who have arrived. I stand there as a junior year cadet yells in my ear. I can't wait to get to my room.

After we have an accountability formation in front of the academy dorms, we fall in to our rooms. I arrive at my assigned room and meet Brian for the first time. He greeted me with a smile and firm handshake. Unlike me he's not an Air Force brat, but nonetheless a Type A personality: high school football star who passed up playing for a powerhouse university in favor of becoming a fighter pilot. We became fast friends, but competed at every event. I ran track because I had done so throughout high school. He ran track having played wide receiver for his high school football team, but he still got better times than me.

Sophomore year. As cadets it's the first time we get weekend liberty to go into town instead of being restricted to the dorms. Since we were too young to drink, Brian and I head into an ice cream parlor on a hot April afternoon. Two young ladies are there. Against his protests, I egg Brian into going over and sitting with them. They introduce themselves as Christina and Alexandra. Christina and Brian hit it off right away. Alexandra showed little interest in me upon our first meeting, but they agree to meet us again for a double date the following weekend.

Senior year. Christina and Brian were sickeningly cute together. They were that couple that made you wanna gag when you saw them together. He made sure to call her every evening before lights out and discuss every detail of each other's respective days. I especially hated it when they finished each other's sentences. Most of all, I hated it that Alexandra and I weren't like that. Looking back, I suppose that I always was more invested in our relationship than she was. I think she only stayed with me because she didn't want to be alone.

Mid November rolled around and it was time for the annual Academy Ball. Christina and Brian share a table with Alex and myself. When we danced my eyes wandered to the happy couple. They held each other so close. I put my hand on the small of Alex's back and pull her in closer, but I feel a slight hesitation from her before she eventually presses up against me. We had been having sex since junior year and we still weren't as intimate as Brian and Christina, who to my knowledge had yet to do it.

Later that night Alex comes to my room and Brian and Christina go out for a walk. After we finish with our business and get dressed, the two walk in and Christina shows Alex her finger with a ring Brian had gotten her. The two begin jumping up and down and screaming. I remember going to the jeweler's with Brian to pick that out and thinking to myself, would Alex ever say yes to a proposal from me?

Two weeks after graduation and commissioning was Brian and Christina's wedding. I gave the best man speech for Brian, the whole time thinking about my future with Alex, wanting so badly for our relationship to be like this, but knowing deep down that it never would. So what was it that Mahriana and I shared after only two days of knowing each other?

"Lieutenant Chiang, back brief time. What were the coordinates for the target you're hitting?"

"Umm, sir…" Brian points to a line of alpha numeric code on his pad with his pencil. "Uniform-Victor-One-Five-Five-Zero-Eight-Six-Three-Eight."

"Hmm, alright. Well look like you're paying attention then." Major Lewel, sitting in the row behind me smacks me on the back of the head. The man next to him has himself a little chuckle.

"Well that's all I got gentlemen. Rest up and study the mission details till you got it memorized." The Lieutenant Colonel got up to leave.

"Room, A-ten-SHUN!" Major Lewel gets the room to stand at attention as the Lieutenant Colonel exits.

"Hey sir, think I can study the mission specs with you later today?" I ask the Major apologetically.

"Yea sure Russ. Just pay attention next time and save me the effort." He pats me on the shoulder and walks away with another Major to talk about the mission.

"Hey thanks Brian you really had my back there."

"Hey it's no sweat man. Y'know when we get back to Osea you should really come by the house. Christina would love to see you again. You can even bring Alex." Guess nobody except the Major knew about that.

"Yeah sure, sounds like fun. See you around."

"Hey wanna shoot some hoops later?"

"Nah man I'm gonna bone up on this mission seeing as how I paid such good attention during the brief."

"Ha, yeah no sweat man. See you later."

Yes, I definitely needed to study the mission specs. I needed to find the most opportune time to deviate from the specs.