I wish I was J.K Rowling but sadly I'm just not British enough.

oOo

"You don't know who his supporters are, you don't know who's working for him and who isn't; you know he can control people so that they do terrible things without being able to stop themselves. You're scared for yourself, and your family, and your friends. Every week, news comes of more deaths, more disappearances, more torturing... the Ministry of Magic's in disarray, they don't know what to do, they're trying to keep everything hidden from the Muggles, but meanwhile, Muggles are dying too. Terror everywhere... panic... confusion... that's how it used to be."

—Sirius Black

Chapter five.

I woke up the next morning thankful that we didn't have classes until Monday. September the first had fallen on a Thursday that year so we had a long weekend and believe me we were going to use it wisely.

I made my way down to breakfast dressed in shorts and one of Remus' jumpers I had nicked from the washing while he wasn't looking. I slumped down at the table in the great hall next to James. Lily was watching me from down the table and I glared at her, I had to confront her today and tell her there was no way I would be her friend if she was dating my git of a brother. James looked in the direction of my glare and paled slightly when he saw her. The poor boy had it bad for her, like jump in front of a killing curse bad. He had been in love with her since the end of fourth year and it had only grown stronger in time. Sure he dated other people but his heart belonged to the red haired, green eyed girl just down from us.

James put an arm around me and squeezed me to his side briefly. I turned to the food and pulled some eggs towards me. I was glad that I had James and the boys as friends, they made everything better. If I was sad they always found something crazy to do to cheer me up.

"So," I began, turning towards them. "We gonna have the big Halloween party this year?" every year the marauders threw a huge party, they had started off very innocent but in the last two years had begun to get wild. They were the highlight of the year.

They all turned and grinned at me. "You bet we are Lee." James smirked, "You're on booze duty." I grimaced. I was always on booze duty; which mainly consisted of me wearing a low cut top to the three broomsticks and flirting with the young guy at the bar, or still wearing a low cut top, getting one of the seventh year boys to buy some for me. It was thoroughly degrading but by god it worked miracles. You see I have had breasts since about fourth year and they just seemed to get bigger in time. The marauders had certainly taken that to their advantage.

"Is that my jumper, Nat?" Remus asked with raised eyebrows from across the table.

I put an innocent look on my face, "This Remus?" I pinched the fabric between my fingers, I knew he would want it back but it was just so damn comfy. "I don't think so. I'm pretty sure it was my brothers or something."

"Huh." He grunted still looking at me sceptically. No, I wanted the jumper!

"That's funny isn't it, Moony." James said, I could tell by the smirk on his face he was about to betray me. "'Cause didn't you lose yours just last week? That's what you told me."

"That is funny James," Sirius exclaimed. "And it looks exactly like Moony's one. Even smells like him." He reached over and pulled my shoulder to his nose, taking a sniff. My heart stuttered when he touched me. "But the problem here is; how did she get into Moony's house to take it?" James, peter and Sirius all turned to smirk at me. "Something going on between you to?" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. My heart stuttered and felt disappointment flow through me as he said the idea so calmly, without a hint of jealousy.

"So that's where you were." A voice sneered from behind me, my stomach dropped to my feet. I knew he would tell my friends where all kinds of people could listen and therefore spread it round the school.

I turned to face him, "I have told you before and I'll tell you again, brother." I spat out the last word as if it were poisonous. "Fuck off." I swivelled back around and stabbed at my eggs, not having much of an appetite anymore.

"Still calling me brother, Natalie?" Noah replied scathingly, the way he said my name made me shiver in disgust. "After what happened this summer I'm surprised you're even talking to me." He looked at the people around me. "Or maybe you're keeping up appearances. You wouldn't want anyone to know you - "

Remus stood up abruptly. "Delano, I think it's time you left." He growled, threateningly. I loved Remus, so protective and loyal.

Noah chuckled, "Leaving now actually, gotta go see my girlfriend. I think you know her Natalie. James, nice to see you." He laughed and walked down the table and sat next to Lily. James stiffened in his seat and was about to get up and punch my brother in the face, but I put a hand on his arm and he slumped forward.

I was about to get up to leave the hall when a brown screech owl flew into the hall. It was my family's bird Artemis. She landed on the table and held her leg out obediently. With shaking hands I undid the tie and pulled the letter free. She gave my eggs a peck before she flew away.

I opened the letter and blanched when I saw my mother's writing.

Natalie, she wrote.

I'm not sure why you feel the need to punish us like this, straight to the point my mother.

Your father and I had discussed you not going back to Hogwarts and we had both agreed that it would be best for you not to go. By running away and acting as rashly as you did you put strain on the family and people began to question your father's position.

People think very highly of him and you ought to respect that. What will people say when he can't even control his children, let alone aurors? We disapprove entirely of you being there and are organising a meeting with the headmaster to ensure you come back home. Your brother was very upset at your departure and we think it was selfish of you to leave him.

When you get home, be prepared for some punishment young lady.

Your Mother.

Down the bottom of the page was a single line,

Please, come home sweetie.

I felt the guilt grow in my stomach; I looked at Remus, who was still standing and he gave me a sympathetic look. He assumed from my facial expression that the letter was not very pleasant. I scowled again down the table at my brother. Sure, that git had really missed me; he wriggled his fingers in a patronising wave when he caught my gaze. The letter was signed by my mother but I knew that it was from father. It had his input written all over it, well figuratively. I felt anger surge through my mind and cloud my brain. The letter was designed to make me feel guilty and I hated myself for it but it was working. The last line kept repeating in my head; please come home sweetie. I felt sick and threw my fork down in disgust. It clattered to the table and splattered eggs on my jumper. I sighed and pulled it off, chucking it at Remus' head and flung myself off the bench and stalked out of the great hall. I heard the boy's shouts of protest at my sudden departure but ignored them, making my way back to the common room. I was angry that I had let my family get to me but they knew how to manipulate me. I skulked through the corridors, scuffing my feet and muttering curse words I would use when I faced my brother next, if I had the guts.

I was halfway to the common room when the view of the corridor swam before my eyes, I grasped the banister of a staircase before the white blinding light and stabbing pain erupted in my head.

It was a while before I was able to see again, but when I could I immediately wanted blindness again. There was an eerie calm throughout the clearing where I stood. A circle of people in black cloaks and masks, all focused on the man in the centre, a man that I had seen far too much of already. He was also in a black cloak, the contrast to his face made him look deathly pale. He was at the end of a speech and the death eaters began to dissapperate as he barked out orders.

A swirl of colour and I was with some of the death eaters again, a damp cold road beneath my feet. They walked confidently towards a house at the end of the street, casting spells to disguise themselves. One knocked on the front door; a young boy answered and was projected backwards into a wall. The death eaters filed inside casting the killing curse at the boy without a second glance. A woman screamed, fumbling for the knife she had been using for chopping vegetables. I watched as her face went blank, a happy smile replacing the terrified one, and plunged the knife into her stomach, twisting and then wrenching it out. She fell to the floor, blood pouring from her wound and mouth, the smile still etched on her face. The death eaters laughed, clapping the one responsible on the back. I heard a whimper from behind me and turned to see a man, dressed in his suit he obviously wore to work. I begged silently in my mind, pleading for him to run before they caught sight of him but his muscles coiled ready for a fight. My heart sunk into my stomach as he picked up a baseball bat from the cupboard to his left. Before he could even raise it to defend himself a death eater screamed "Crucio!" and he fell crying to the floor. His body thrashed, attempting to break free of the curse, causing the death eaters to laugh mercilessly once again.

A swirl of colour and I was transported again, to a basement. It was moist and cold, water dripping from the walls and moss caking the floor. I spun around as a girlish laugh erupted from behind me. This scene would haunt my dreams forever. In the corner, cowering on the floor was the form of woman, she had blonde hair and her skin that was once tanned was pale and sickly looking. In front of her was the most terrifying person I can ever remember seeing, second only to Voldemort himself; Bellatrix Lestrange. Her wild hair was pulled back from her face, her large eyes bulging. Her laugh caused my knees to shake as I stood there, watching her. She walked over to the woman and grabbed her by the hair, pulling back her head.

"Give me all your information on the order of the phoenix." She said sweetly, her auror oozed lies and mental instability. The woman laughed a sound that was harsh and gravelly.

"Dream on Bella." The woman spat out. Bellatrix, angered, flung her head backwards causing it to smack against the floor. She leant over the lying form and pulled out her wand, flicking it quickly. Small cuts erupted all over the woman's body and she hissed in pain as filthy water, dripping from the roof and seeping up from the floor, entered her cuts, infecting them. "Crucio." Bellatrix hissed. The woman writhed in pain but did not let out a scream. Seeming frustrated Bellatrix lashed out and kicked the woman in the side, I heard the ribs crack and break but still the woman did not cry out. Bellatrix moved her foot to her chest and pushed lightly, slowly developing the pressure. The woman could not take the immense pain and screamed in pain. Bellatrix, smiling flicked her wand one last time and a large gash appeared across the woman's shoulder, and leaving the room wriggled her fingers in a taunting wave. I walked over to the woman and heard her mutter under her breath,

"Do whatever you can to stop them Natalie. It will only get worse from here on." She opened her eyes and they met mine, her face, although bloodied, a mirror image of mine, her eyes the same hazel colour with hints of green. The only difference was her eyes were dead, soulless, as if she had seen too many horrors for her age. She looked only five years older than me. My mind corrected me; she was me in five years.

A/N: so that chapter was a bit intense but the next one might be a bit lighter hearted. Or maybe not. Its hard to write happy things in such dark times but if its putting you off ill throw the Halloween party in the next few chapters. It will get better soon. So review! Let me know what you think! Shout out to my reviewer from last time SPLINTERINGTHEGLASS woo! Go you!

Until next time...