Chapter 8

Breakdown

They ran back to the car. "Where did he go?" Stefan stomped his foot on the gas petal.

"He's on the move, hang on." Bonnie looked closely at the map. "He's stopped... okay he's back at your place."

But by the time they got there, he'd already left. The evidence showed that he'd taken a shower and changed clothes.

"He's so darn fast... How are we supposed to keep up with him?" Bonnie looked frustrated.

"We'll just have to keep trying. Where is he now?"

"He's headed for Elena's! We have to get over there!"

Elena answered the door to the pounding. "Bonnie? Stefan? What..."

"Have you seen Damon?" Bonnie asked urgently.

"No... What's going on?" They hurried inside and Stefan explained while Bonnie went back to the map again. Elena dropped her head in her hands. "That's awful. No wonder he freaked out."

"We need to find him before he hurts someone. Bonnie, any luck with the map?" Stefan looked over at her.

"Not yet. He's still moving, but he changed direction."

"Who says he will hurt someone?" Elena demanded. " He went after deer, not people. He promised me that he wouldn't kill people anymore."

"He's not exactly in his right mind at the moment Elena, there's no telling what he might do." Stefan drummed his fingers on the table nervously.

"Got him," Bonnie announced.

"Where is he?" Elena moved over to look.

"At the cemetery."

"Then lets go." Elena stood up looking determined.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Stefan objected.

"He won't hurt me." She started for the door.

"Elena-"

"Forget it Stefan," Bonnie shook her head. "That's her stubborn face. Lets just get out there."

Once at the cemetery they were relieved to find that he was still there, and from all the noise he was making, it wasn't hard to find him. They watched Damon from behind a large tree as he ranted at his father's grave.

He had started to head over to Elena's house, but had changed his mind halfway there. He didn't want her to see him like this, not when he was full of so much rage. Besides, the person who really deserved his wrath was beyond his reach. Sure his body was there in that grave, but his father was in the afterlife. Damon wished he could reach that place just long enough to throttle the man.

"I was never good enough for you! Not ever! I was always the disappointment! But to kill me? You son of a bitch! You sick bastard! What kind of father are you?"

Elena felt tears fill her eyes, because underneath all that anger, she knew the pain Damon had to be feeling.

Damon looked at the headstone. Besides his father's name and life span it read:

Beloved Husband and Father

"Your stone is a lie! You don't deserve it!" He punched the headstone so hard it cracked. "I hate you! I HATE YOU!"

As his brother raised his fist to hit the headstone again, Stefan ran to him and pulled him back. Despite what their father had done, he couldn't bear to see his grave desecrated.

"Damon don't!"

"LET GO OF ME!"

"If you have to hit something hit me!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Damon shoved him back.

"Why aren't you angry at me? I killed him. I killed our father."

"And I don't care!" They faced each other now.

Stefan had already forgotten that they had an audience. Elena and Bonnie didn't dare move. They barely breathed.

"How could you not care?"

"Because he killed us! He made us into what we are!"

"No Damon! I made us into what we are! I drank our father's blood! I'm the one who brought you that poor girl!"

"Because you turned off your emotions! Because of what he did! Because of what he made you do!"

"I drank from him because I was too weak to resist. I drank from him because I hurt him!"

"It was self defense! And why the hell didn't you ever tell me about this before?"

"Because I knew you'd react this way and I didn't want anyone to get hurt! I didn't want you to be hurt."

They both stared at each other, wondering how to get through to each other.

"Damon you're my brother... I never wanted you to know this. Not ever." Damon spun around and kicked the headstone so hard it went flying and hit a statue, breaking both. "Damon!"

"How can you defend him after what he did?"

"He's still our father!"

"Fathers don't kill their kids!" Damon turned away from him, his hands clenching into fists. "Fathers are supposed to care about you no matter what." His voice broke.

"Damon..."

"Don't. Just... don't." He closed his eyes, causing a drop to fall down his left cheek as his chin trembled. Stefan moved around Damon so he could see his face again. He was shocked when he saw the tear. He could barely remember the last time he'd seen his brother cry.

"Damon... I'm sorry." He heard his own voice crack.

Damon opened his eyes to look at him. "Why do you always say you're sorry... even when it's not your fault?"

"It is this time." Stefan's own eyes overflowed.

"No it's not, and I don't blame you."

Stefan hugged him tightly. He tried to pull away but Stefan just held him even tighter. Damon tried to remain in control, but a sob escaped him before he could stop it, then another, and before he knew it he'd broken down completely in his brother's arms. He could hear Stefan crying too, and he finally hugged him back. They both clung to each other, lost in a shared pain that only the two of them could ever understand.

Elena wiped a few tears from her own cheeks and looked at Bonnie. "I think Damon will be all right now. We should go."

Bonnie nodded and got up. "I never thought I'd see the day when Damon Salvatore would have a breakdown."

"He has feelings, just like the rest of us." Elena was glad that at least the brothers were leaning on each other now, instead of pushing each other away.

Damon didn't know how long they sobbed there together. When they both started calming down and stepped back he immediately felt stupid. The last thing he'd ever wanted to do was cry in front of his little brother. He dried his face on his sleeve and saw that Stefan was doing the same.

Stefan saw that the girls were gone and decided he'd call Bonnie later. They went to get the car, started home, and Damon looked at him, trying to seem threatening despite his red and puffy eyes. "If you ever tell anybody about this-"

Stefan shook his head, eyes focused on the road as he drove. "I won't, I swear." He was glad Damon didn't know that the girls had been there.

"Good. Any other big secrets you've been keeping from me?"

Stefan shook his head again. He could tell Damon was really embarrassed, so he didn't say anything about what just happened. He'd likely as not get clobbered.

Damon took a few bottles of vodka to his room as soon as they got home, while Stefan went to call Bonnie to make sure she and Elena had gotten home all right. He just wanted to get drunk, pass out, and forget that this day had ever happened.

To Be Continued...