My foot is cramping. Blegh.

Anyway, Christmas soon..

=)

they don't belong to me.

It was the first snowfall. And of course you could find me, Ron, Harry and the others having our first (and definitely not our last) snow ball fight of the year. Hermione even joined in on our play. Which I enjoyed, even if I had to hear her complain about how she should have been studying.

Harry acted the perfect part of my knight in shining armor, taking hits for me and throwing at those who threatened me. Merlin, was he surprised when a particularly large snowball smashed apart on the back of his head was mine. Priceless.

Later on, we all crowded into the Great Hall for lunch, It was louder than usual. All the buzz of excitement and laughter and reencounterings of who hit who and who threw what made my ears ring. We were red-faced. Soaked to the bone and freezing. And we couldn't have been happier. Even the professor's tension was seemingly eased slightly. But I noticed Harry's attention was elsewhere, he was visibly distracted, looking across the room at a spot he often looked these days.

Draco wasn't there.

I knew where Harry was going as he slipped from the table and snuck off. I hoped all this obsession paid off one day, or it'll be Harry who's left looking like a fool again. Much worse knowing we all knew was the whole time. I wasn't sure if he could take that kind of humiliation again.. It was enough with the Cedric incident.. Then Sirius.. I couldn't stand to watch him suffer anymore. I knew Hermione felt the same way. It was something we discussed when we were lying together. I knew she worried more than I did. My worry.. Was worry for him.. Definitely.. But more so than that.. Worry for her, worrying about him. She gets so upset about it sometimes and I can't do much but hug her and tell her I'll take care of him. I promise her and kiss her. That's all I can do.

But I'm afraid.. They're promises I'm not sure I can keep.

I tried to distract myself by sliding over to sit by her. My thigh pressed ever-so-slightly against hers. Innocently, of course. Even just this contact with her calmed my nerves and my dark thoughts and I thanked whatever mysterious healing powers she had over me. After that, I easily fell into the stride of the conversation, a smile on both our faces as our fingers linked secretly under the table, away from prying eyes.

Her fingers were tender as she ran them through my long orange-copper hair, water spraying onto the tile to mix in with the rest that was leaving our bodies. She ran the shampoo through a few times, making sure to coat and make a froth on every stand. She was very thorough. I sat quietly, eyes closed with a soft smile on my face, her fingers on my scalp sent tingles down my rib cage and thighs and I gave a sigh on contentment to show her my appreciation."Your hair is so beautiful. Not quite as red as Ron's.. more.. Sienna.. Like autumn. You remind me of Autumn." she gave a tinkling laugh and rinsed out the suds before working to coat the locks in a formula she had made just for me, like Muggle conditioner, except it worked tenfold. Making my hair soft and shiny. It never got tangled now and only minimal knots appeared after a Quiddich match. It made me feel special to know she worked hard on it just for me, and took pleasure in applying it herself.

Because I was hers. And she always took exceptional care of her belongings.

I helped her wash her back and left little wet kisses down her shoulders, more things to show my appreciation. We weren't feeling sexual. Just intimate. And slow. And tender. Our movements weren't rushed and we let the water just wash over us. After a good half hour she left, needing to study. She had had enough of being distracted. I didn't blame her, she had been acting out of character enough by putting off studying for an important test for a whole day. I smiled to myself at the thoughts that she put aside these things for more time with me. A thing I would never have imagined a short two months ago.

As I dried myself and dress I came to the realization that I saw Hermione in everything now. More so than before. Because I was intimately linked with her now. The beauty of ordinary things reminded me of her.

A flower on the nightstand. Hermione.

Flakes of snow hitting softly against the window without a sound. Hermione.

The look of a made bed, perfectly organized books. Hermione.

A crop circle in the carpet. Hermione.

The fact that almost everything in my everyday life had an aspect of her being made me love her so much more. I could never go back to not being able to touch her, or smell her hair, or hear the sound of her content sigh after a satisfying round of love. I knew now that I needed her more than I ever have. And for one, I was confident that she needed me too.

As winter progressed, Professor Dumbledore had started taking Harry away. It grew more and more frequent, and it seemed the more this happened the more I was shoved to the side and kept out of the loop. Even Hermione wouldn't talk to me about it. I knew she knew. As did Ron. Harry wouldn't talk to me. He was always too tired and he mostly stuck with Hermione and Ron, and they were always whispering secrets, so I eventually learned not to come around if I wanted to avoid a sudden awkward silence when I appeared in front of hurt me, but my mask hadn't disappeared completely and soon I began putting up my tough front again, practicing Quiddich and hanging out with Dean, Seamus, Lavender and Pavarti. Old friends from a seemingly old life. I always had fears that this whole thing was too good to be true.. But I had almost gotten over it.

Almost.

But I wouldn't let myself break apart at the sudden coldness, or the secrets. I was too stubborn for that. I am a Weasley after all.

What worried me the most however, is how antsy the professors were getting again, especially Snape. He was more unpleasant than usual and he stopped eating in the Great Hall with the other professors. It made me uneasy to the point where I couldn't eat anymore, the stress was unbearable. I wish I had Hermione's magic touches now. But she was at Hagrid's hut with Harry and Ron. Even though Hagrid had been taken to Azkaban at the beginning of the year..

My stomach cramped and I retired from lunch early, deciding to skip the rest of my classes to nap. I cast a quick no dreaming spell, so I could fall asleep without thought. So I didn't linger on where Hermione was now. And why she wouldn't confide in me to know. Also.. so I didn't think of Voldemort.. And how I had creeping suspicions that he would soon rear his ugly head. I was terrified that this was what this was about. But I didn't know for sure.. there was only one thing I did know..

I knew this was bigger than me. I hope Harry could handle whatever it was without another loss.

But what you hope for isn't usually what happens.

I apologize if the timelines aren't matching up or whatever.
I haven't read the book for awhile and whatnot.

Enjoy, heartlings.