Sev,
Aww, how sweet. You actually like a Gryffindor or two. "Mr. Snape, I do wish you would try to get along with the Gryffindors." Now who in their right mind would believe that's even possible? Our professors are all crazy.
We need some sun. Stupid Mother Nature's been pouring on us for weeks! How's someone supposed to study for the exams in this weather?
Siriusly Awesome
Sirius,
Since when do you study? And it's possible for me to get along with Gryffindors…some of them, anyway.
At least you aren't living in the Slytherin House. It is positively freezing down here whenever it rains. Whatever else you say about us, Slytherins are really good at fire and heat charms. We need them to survive!
Severus
Severus,
Since when do I study? Since when do I not study? I study all the time! I study everything useless for real life! I study for everything except school! And you have the nerve to ask when do I STUDY?
Lily's been pestering me, if you haven't noticed. She is positive that I am going to fail without her help. That girl is a lunatic! St. Mungo's, she needs help. She's got a parasite, commonly called Bookworm! She must be cured by severe pranking! Help!
James is completely affected by this. She has him sitting quietly for hours on end. And of course, Lupin and Pettigrew are worried about getting a ninety instead of eighty-nine, so I'm all alone in the tower!
God, that sounded extremely Rapunzel. Don't read that last sentence.
Sirius
Sirius,
You are Rapunzel. Abnormally long hair, unknowing about anything in the real world, "I'm all alone, so very lonely in this tower…", and you sing like a nutcase. So like Rapunzel, I have been forced to assume that you and her are one and the same.
Severus
Severus,
Oh ha, ha, ha. So very funny, Mr. Snape. You should become a comedian instead of a Healer.
Have you ever thought about being a Muggle magician? Wouldn't that be so cool? You could just Vanish their hats or scarves or whatnot and then make them appear again. You could even make yourself disappear, and they'd have no idea what's going on! It would be great!
Also, have you seen an invisible snake slithering around? James seems to have lost his.
Sirius
Sirius,
No, I have not seen an invisible snake, most likely because it is invisible and even more likely to not exist. If you had an invisible snake I would have known about it.
Isn't there some kind of law that says you can't do magic in front of Muggles? Would you run the risk of getting caught?
You know, I have a book that you probably aren't interested in, but it's about Muggle magic. It certainly would give you something to do, Rapunzel. And then you'd know two kinds of magic.
Severus
Sev,
That's a great idea! How are you supposed to give it to me without getting caught, since you're always around your snake buddies?
Yes, the snake is fake. I just wanted to see if you would react to it.
Gryff. Tower is still boring. Everybody gets mad when I set off fireworks or even drop my books. We're GRYFFINDORS for Pete's sake, not Ravenclaws.
Sirius
Sirius,
Are you really asking me how to pass the books without getting caught? Are you a bloody Marauder or what? Just push me down the stairs or levitate my books away or something.
I probably shouldn't have written should I?
Severus
Sev,
Did you really just suggest that? Wow, now I'm going to have to combine the two. Prepare thyself, varmint, for thee injury is at hand.
Sirius
Sirius,
When I said push me down the stairs or levitate my books, I DID NOT mean try to kill me. Next time you are going to convince my bookbag to rise up and drop me from seven stories high, PLEASE TELL ME BEFOREHAND! Mainly because I hate the taste of Skele-Gro, and next time, it will be you who is being force-fed painful poison.
You are so dead,
Severus
Severus,
I do not fear thee, Vampyre. I did not try to kill you, someone bumped into me! Stupid, clumsy Pettigrew tripped and hit my wand arm, and you just went whissh and then "Ahhh!"
I got the book, didn't I? And you aren't dead, so stop complaining. It was funny, for the first five seconds, then I was like OH BLOODY HELL! SNAPE'S GONNA DIIIIEEE! You exceeded my expectations.
Sirius
Sirius,
Oh, that makes me feel so much better, that I exceeded your expectations. Sixty (yes, SIXTY) broken bones is a whole lot better than death. Especially since I lived so I could kill you. You may want to watch your pumpkin juice, Black, because it may be poisoned.
Severus
Severus,
I didn't think you were actually sirius about watching the pumpkin juice. Draught of Babble is totally illegal! I've been chattering nonstop for the past three days, ranging from things stupid to things that I didn't want other people to know! Totally, TOTALLY UNFAIR!
Sirius
Sirius,
What are you talking about? I was joking. I don't spike drinks. I certainly wouldn't do something like a Babbling potion. I have secrets too, you know, and I wouldn't want someone to do that to me.
Severus