Oh...oh wow...its been like a month and a half...damn, that was fast...*whistles innocently* cmon! New LOST season started, so I had to write a lost fic! It was so necessary!

...yeah

Hopefully this makes up for it

Screwy Dewey

1973

"Talking's just a waste of breath,

And Livings just a waste of death."

-Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows), Fall Out Boy

James Potter and his three best friends, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, sat in the living room watching a film on that strange muggle box with the moving pictures. Peter had brought his aunts 'television' thingy over for them to entertain themselves with.

Charlus Potter was drinking his coffee and reading the Daily Prophet in the kitchen, before he was supposed to leave for work in a half an hour, at 8:30 a.m.

Dorea Potter walked in, wearing an apron and carrying a tray of fresh-baked cinnamon rolls, "Are you boys hungry for breakfast?"

And then the final member of the family, Dewey Potter, came stumbling through the floo covered in blood.

Dorea dropped the tray in surprise and shrieked loudly, causing her husband to come running in with his wand.

Dewey had entered the room being held around the waist by a taller man, who was screaming, "EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!" at random intervals.

In simpler terms, Doon was the freaking out kid, Dewey was the bleeding half-unconscious girl, Charlus was the paranoid one, Dorea was the shrieking one, and the marauders were just really confused.

"What is going on?" Mr. Potter shouted over all of the noise.

Doon finally unwrapped his arm around Dewey's waist, and put one of her arms around his shoulder to support her. Sirius quickly jumped up to help him and they led Dewey to the couch.

"It was an accident!" Doon looked terrified while talking to Dewey's dad. "We were just goofing off and then...with the..."

"Who are you?" Mrs Potter yelled at Doon, which was when he suddenly realized that Dewey was supposed to have been at some made-up girls house.

"Uhhh, I'm Gary...uh, Janes!" He lied, "Dewey's friends brother."

Mrs Potter narrowed her eyes, "Dewey was staying at Larissa Jones house for the summer. You said Janes."

"Did I?" Doon laughed nervously, "I meant to say Jones! Really! JONES! I think I said Jones, actually! You heard me say Jones, right?"

"I don't think you did!" James narrowed his eyes when Sirius finally interrupted.

"PEOPLE!" He screamed, "Your sister/friend/daughter is bleeding on the bloody couch! Can we discuss the Jones family later?"

Charlus Potter uttered a few different spells under his breath, waving his wand around, and the blood stopped flowing from her mouth, and the dried blood vanished. Her teeth were still missing.

"Darling," Mr. Potter asked his wife calmly, "What's the spell to make teeth grow?"

"It's densaugeo, dearie."

"You shouldn't grow them back," James said, "As punishment."

"You must be the mamas boy then," Doon said to James, "I'd say it's nice to meet you, James, but I that would be a lie."

"Mum," James whined, "She tells other people I'm a mamas boy!"

Remus hit him upside the head, "Your sister has just been seriously injured and all you care about is that she calls you a mamas boy?"

"Which you are," Doon added.

"You've met her once, Remus," James said, "You don't know what she can be like. If you did, you'd be happy she was unconscious too. It's a shame her friends, I mean, friend, doesn't feel the same way."

"Ennervate," Doon pointed his wand at Dewey to wake her up.

"Doon?" She blinked several times, "Where are we- you brought me to my parents house?"

"Uhhhh...possibly?"

"I'm gonna kill you, you asshole." They stared at each other for almost a minute before Dewey launched her self off of the couch and tackled him, only to find that she was incredibly dizzy. Sirius caught her as she fell backwards again and he set her back on the couch.

"Thanks," She said softly smiled at him and Sirius turned red.

The Potters were all yelling at Doon, because Dewey had, in fact, revealed his true identity, but Peter and Remus were staring at Dewey and Sirius.

"Oh, uh, no problay-mo," Sirius could have smacked himself. 'No problay-mo?' That's something James would've said and not even that nerdy Evans chick would go out with him!

The young Sirius/Dewey moment was interrupted by Mrs. Potter and her shrieking. Again.

"I can't believe you would go off to some...to some boys house!" She whirled on Dewey, "You've only known him for a few years! He could have tried to take advantage of you! I don't even know him! And I thought I knew you! I thought I knew that you knew to know better than to even know someone like him!""

Surprisingly, Dewey understood exactly what her mother was saying, "You're right, mother! You don't know him! And you don't know me! So why are you making such terrible accusations about him? And about me? Merlin, you are such a bitch."

Mrs. Potter (and, well, everyone else stared at Dewey) in outrage and surprise.

"Dewey Andromeda Potter, you go to your room right now!" Charlus shouted so loud that she was tempted to cover her ears.

Dewey stomped up the stairs and slammed several doors on the way up.

There was an awkward silence in which the Potters glared at Doon.

There was a loud explosion upstairs and then Dewey came back down stairs holding the few things she had left behind in her room. She smiled calmly at all of the people in the room before throwing her stuff in the fireplace and flooing it somewhere.

"I don't have to deal with you people anymore," She told her parents while shaking her head in a disappointed manner at her family. "You're just so...so obnoxious all of the Godric damned time, and you don't even care if you're rude. And you say you approve of muggle borns and elementals but you don't approve of them at all and you're just...you're just plain mean and I'm leaving."

"Fine!" James shouted at her, "We don't want you here anyway!"

"James, that's your bloody twin!" Remus shouted at him, "Don't say things like that!"

"It's alright, Remus," Dewey said, glaring at her brother, "We were never close anyway."

She flooed herself to the house she and Doon had broken into so they could use the fireplace and disappeared.

Doon picked up a handful of floo powder and cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well, uh, it was nice meeting you guys."

1976

Care of Magical Creatures

"Today, class," Professor Rivers said with a huge fake grin, "We're learning about hippogriffs!"

"Professor," Ray, her Slytherin friend, spoke up, "We learned about Hippogriffs in third year."

"Correct, Mr. Zabini!" Rivers said, "But our groundskeeper, Mr. Hagrid, has been able to get us real hippogriffs to learn with! Oh, joy." The professor said sarcastically.

Professor Rivers was the type of person whose personality screamed 'I'm only here because I'm getting paid'.

The huge groundskeeper came out, leading one huge bird/horse thing out behind him. Beside her, Ray let out a low whistle.

"Now, who wants to go first?" Rivers asked and almost everybody jumped backwards, including all of the Marauders and Ray.

"Ah, Ms. Potter," Rivers said, Dewey being the only one who hadn't reacted fast enough. He pulled her forward and stood her in front of the hippogriff, "Now bow, and don't break eye contact. Don't blink. This one's named Witherwings."

Dewey stared hard at the huge creature in front of her. Don't blink don't blink don't blink.

The hippogriff finally bowed to her, which was when the professor told her she could pet it gently.

"Okay, I think it likes you enough to let you ride it," The professor told her, and he had Hagrid lift her up onto the back of the huge bird.

"I don't think this is the best idea..." She hesitated.

"Yeh'll be fine," Hagrid reassured her, "Jus' don' grab at 'is feathers."

Dewey wasn't quite sure what else there was to grab, but Witherwings took off and she wrapped her arms around his long neck.

The huge creature flew fast over the forest, and eventually over Hogsmeade, before it swerved back towards the school, taking a nose dive towards the lake.

"Oh my Godric!" Dewey laughed, letting go of his neck to flap her arms around, "This is totally awesome!"

When she finally landed, she was grinning like and idiot an was absolutely positive her hair looked like a bush, but it had been so worth it.

"Dude, can I go again?" She asked the professor, who said 'no' flat out and let the other students try to meet the hippogriff.

Dewey noticed a tiny little baby hippogriff in the corner that Pippin was playing with. It was so cute! She went to go meet it, too, but Witherwings suddenly freaked out and charged towards Pippin.

Professor Rivers tried to stop it, but just ended up getting slashed across the chest by the animal.

Hagrid was able to subdue it by getting the little hippogriff to go to Witherwings.

"Tha's Buckbeak," He told the, "Witherwings is very protective o' his son."

After putting the hippogriffs in the stable he carried Professor Rivers to the castle and the students all stood there, as they were told to stay until a professor was sent for them.

"Godric, Dewey, what if that had been you!" James fretted, "You could have died! You could been hurt! You could be bleeding! On the ground! Bleeding on the bloody ground!"

"But she's not," Sirius said, "She's perfectly fine. Aren't you perfectly fine, Dewey?"

"Yes, Sirius, I really am," She narrowed her eyes at him, "But thanks so much, I know you're concern."

"Oh, Godric," James frowned, "Where did all this awkward come from? It wasn't here before."

"It's not awkward," Ray said, "It's sexual tension."

James pretended to gag loudly, "Mate! That is my sister and my best friend...which is just completely wrong. I'm pretty sure that's, like, illegal or something. Of course a Slytherin would say that."

"Honestly, Potter," Lily Evans spoke up, "Why are you so biased against Slytherins? They aren't all Death Eaters, you know!"

"Why are you so unbiased against them? Especially Snivellus?"

"Severus is not nearly as bad as you are, Potter," She spat angrily, "Besides, Sirius and your sister deserved each other."

Behind her, her friends giggled obnoxiously. James stared at her, "What in Azkaban supposed to mean, Evans?"

"I mean that she's a Potter and he's a Potter's best friend," She sneered, "Two people who like you just deserve to be together and not with anyone better."

James stared at her in a confused manner before turning angry, "Wow, Evans. Sirius always tried to tell me you were a bitch but I never believed him until now. You don't know anything about Sirius! And I don't appreciate you bagging on my sister, either!"

Lily blinked, remembering that Dewey had said those exact words to her (except about Sirius and James, not she and Sirius) on her first night here. "I don't have to know them, Potter, because I know you! And Dewey is obviously just like you are, so she must be as bad as you!"

"Evans, Dewey and I might be extremely close, but we are nothing alike! And you wouldn't know that because you don't know me and I don't know you," He stared disappointedly at her, "But I guess I don't. I don't even know why I would want to go out with you in the first place."

He grabbed Dewey's arm and stormed away, the rest of their friends following.

Evans called out after them, "You're not allowed to leave class yet!" but they ignored her.

Raymond Zabini whistled lowly. "Man, I thought that was gonna be a fight between Sirius and Dewey. Not, like, you and Potter."

"Shut up."

DAYUM Lily's a bitch! But only around James, she's actually pretty nice.

And, sometime soon, Professor Kettleburn will be entering.

Who do you think that will be, hmmmmm?