A/N: This may get a bit confusing, so:
This is Lily's writing
This is James.
This is Sirius.
And here's Severus.
Letters go in order of when they were written, so it might be James, James, Sev, Rus, Lily, Rus, or something like that.
Dear James,
What exactly are you and your little band up to? Black wrote to me asking what was wrong with Severus. What was up with his family. What exactly are you trying to plot now? Can't you just leave the poor guy alone?
Sincerely Not Yours,
Lily
Pads,
Are you nuts? You're writing to Snivellus? In conversation? Friend-like?
Maybe I should back up.
Lily wrote me asking what you were up to. She said you wrote, concerning his family. You were concerned, about him. Naturally, I had to find out what was going on. My mom had a bottle of Polyjuice Potion from when she was experimenting with her potions abilities.
I used it, and found out that I could read your letters. I was not trying to invade, but I saw that there were letters, from Sirius to Severus and back. Even after you found out who the other one was, even after the end of the penship, you are writing to the enemy? You guys have nicknames for each other?
Write Soon, I need to know what's going on before my head explodes.
James
Lily,
I have no idea what Sirius is up to. I only just found out that he and Snape are pen friends. I could not bear the fact of even trying to bother Snape during the summer, as it would spoil my break as well.
James
Rus,
You are so very funny (sarcasm implied), but I guess it would make sense that you are going back to school with some of those in your trunk. But what is with Werewolves… and The Book of Invisible…? Those seem strange titles for you to read, though I don't think it would be too hard to give ideas for what you will do with them.
Severus
Dear Severus,
What is going on? Black writes to me about your family, I ask James what they're up to, and he says that you and Black are pen friends. While I congratulate you for trying to turn over a new leaf, are you sure this is a wise idea? After all, anything you put into those letters could be fuel for Potter's taunting.
Sincerely,
Lily
Sev,
This is crazy! I wrote Lily, Lily was suspicious so she wrote James, James used the Polyjuice to find out who I was writing, he wrote me, and now it looks like a letter war!
Rus
Prongs,
We were pen-friends picked out of a hat, we found out who the other was, and we'd already been writing along just fine, so WHO CARES! It takes a while to write, so I started calling him Sev, and he responded with 'Sir.' Naturally, I couldn't have such a name, so I chose 'Rus' instead. Bug off!
Pads
Lily,
I am sorry for any suspicion I caused you. Snape and I are pen friends, and when he started having a darker tone to his writing, I was concerned, and since he would tell me nothing I thought to ask you.
I have learned my error. I will no longer bug you with my concerns.
Sirius Black
Lily,
I love you, but sometimes I think you are an oxymoronic hypocrite. For the last four years, you have told the Mauraders and me to stop fighting and try to get along, yet once we do that, everyone, including you, thinks that we should stop writing because it was 'not wise.'
What is your actual standing on the matter? I, personally, think that writing to Black is perfectly fine for my safety and everyone else can bug off.
Sincerely,
Severus
Rus,
It is not only you and Potter who are in this war. Now Lily and I seem to have joined it as well. Unfortunately, I think we are all on different fronts.
Sev
Dearest Snivellus,
I will warn you once. Quit this lettership with Sirius, or there will be hell to pay. I will not have you convincing my brother-in-arms to become a Death Eater.
Most Deadly Sincere,
James Potter
Severus,
If you are going to start calling names, I will ignore you. Still, my advice is that you end this relationship.
Lily
Sev,
Well, the owls are certainly getting their exercise in! I hope that you are doing well in this time of stress! Only three more days until September first, and I have the feeling that if this is not resolved by then we will be beating the blank out of each other on the train.
Well, maybe not Lily.
Rus
Dearest James Toerag,
Hell to pay? I think that this will be two against one, and this time, the odds are stacked against you. And if Sirius wants to be a Death Eater, it will not be me doing the convincing.
Sincerely,
Severus
PS: learn to mind your own business, git!
Dearest Snivellus Snapdragon,
Learn to mind your quill! Trust me, if odds are stacked, they will always be against you.
James
Rus,
Okay, now what? We've got to finish this before nine o'clock tomorrow, and somehow I get the feeling we won't be winning this war. I have no real doubt that Potter wouldn't hesitate to kill me.
Sev
Sev,
Well, I guess we just have to surrender. It is really a shame. Things were just starting to get fun!
Rus
Rus,
All right then. I suppose we each write letters showing our defeat?
Sev
Sev,
Guess so. Let's hope that James is up at two in the morning.
Rus
Dearest Jamsie,
In the interest of keeping myself and another alive, I hereby declare DEFEAT in the war of quill. That means you can no longer kill Snape for writing letters to me. At this wonderful hour of two a.m. peace reigns once more.
P. O. edly,
Sirius
Potter,
I hope you're happy. I resign from writing letters to Gryffindors. Screw you.
Snape
Rus,
Well then, here's the end. See you at school, once-more-enemy.
Sev
Sev,
You'll not see me again at school, you will see Sirius Black, Maurader. Norris and UKP, Rus and Sev, permanent friends. Sirius and Severus, Temporary friends, forever enemies. Do not be deterred by what should kill thy dreams, simply fight and fight, and once you are defeated, remember that you have fought and may live to fight again.
Sincerely and forever,
Rus
And that is the end of the letters, though not quite the end of the story. Thank you everyone who has been reading along and reviewing the story and just generally supporting this. It is much appreciated and helped the story move along.
Til the next (and last)!